Twilight Reader-Insert Drabbles/Oneshots: Edward, Emmett and Seth encountering a 'pick-me', twilight series - all media types fanfic

tonesplash

Characters

Reader, You, Rosalie Hale, Edward Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Emmett Cullen, Edward Cullen/Reader, Emmett Cullen/Reader, Seth Clearwater/Reader

Edward, Emmett and Seth encountering a 'pick-me'

April 21, 2025 at 03:13 AM

edward cullen

he has no choice but to know everyone in a 5-mile radius, so as soon as he lays eyes on them in his head, he's already like 'this fucking guy😒'
genuinely perplexed how they thought this was going to go
Edward is a curious man. Humans are weird creatures. So the first time they approach he is going to at least give them the benefit of the doubt.
As soon as they even spoke ill of you—
*Heavy sigh*
"Come on." And then throws his arm over your shoulders and walks away like a fucking diva, as many times as it takes.
if they are a little harder to get rid of
his first instinct is to protect, if he senses you can't take it or remove you from the situation if you are the type to throw hands lol
doesn't really matter who they are
"Edward, that was my lab partner, you dick."
"Yeah? They were about to tell me all about how you used to eat dirt and then ask out for coffee later. Do you want to turn around?"
if they don't take the hint, then boo hoo, they can face the consequences of messing with the guy willing to die for his s/o
Edward gets mildly psychological. he never touches a hair on their head, but his methods are a little... long-lasting
he won't tell you either, you'll just be curious and ask after your usually persistent annoyance
you asked how they were doing one night over the phone, and they'd shakily confessed to you that lately, just when they start to think they're alone, in tight rooms and smaller spaces, the lights will cut off, doors slamming shut and locking tight for sometimes hours until someone finds them. They ask if they can speak to Edward. He hits the end call button.
they don't answer your texts anymore :/
that, and the hostile stares across the lot, usually gets the job done
but if it's someone you absolutely have to be around, or you explicitly make it clear you want this person in your life for whatever reason,
he can muster the niceties, but that doesn't stop him from pressuring you to get rid of them, even if you think you aren't personally affected, hearing negative things flung around about you is mentally taxing to anyone going on for long enough, and he doesn't think forcing a fake friendship for any reason is healthy
if the reason you give him is something materialistic—say you are using them for their pool
he will pave it in your backyard like those guys on youtube using bamboo and mud if it means you listen to him
if they cross the line again he is absolutely that guy to stop the conversation with "and what do you mean by that?" "What is that supposed to mean."
until they respond, completely killing the vibe 🙄

emmett cullen

you already know what it is
anything this man thinks is coming out of his mouth right away
they try to be subtle, making little digs at you here and there, and smoothing it over with some personal anecdote no one asked for or acknowledges. Give him a second. Emmett is a little slow to catch things like this.
Maybe they take it too far, or if you complain about it at all–
*80+ years of American public school activated*
"The hell did you just say?"
and if they try to apologize, backtrack with some well-meaning bs to get on his good side?
absolutely DISGUSTING, ~~begone thot~~
"People wouldn't hate you so much if you weren't so weird all the time" 🥴
Emmett isn't out to blow anyone cover or anything, but what are the Volturi going to care about a couple of American highschool write-ups
unrelated, but now I'm imagining one of the Cullens(probably still Emmett) having a prison arc because they keep beating high school children's asses until they are sentenced and then breaking out years later. it becomes a local legend and his mugshot is memed for ~~years~~
he gets mean, but if they wanted him to stop, they wouldn't shit talk his girlfriend right in front of his face
Emmett is a car guy. I'm sure he identifies strongly w transformers. his first thought is always gonna be the car.
he isn't above dinging doors and bumpers, keying something mildly threatening, perhaps rigging it up to his jeep and hauling it to the far side of the parking lot and ruining their transmission for the entire school to see, if he's feeling wild
If they don't have a car? He at least has the self-control for some mild intimidation.
walking a crowd is always a risk. You never know who is going where at what time, who could step on a lace, stick a leg out, ~~snatch their collar like scruff and yank sharply until they fall on their ass~~
It's petty, girl.

seth clearwater

He picks up on their dislike of you pretty quickly and is kind of worried for you cause–
Are you not aware? That this one person really seems to dislike you? Why is no one else talking about this?
he wants to be nice to your friends, so he waits for your cue, desperately side-eyeing you for the entire conversation, waiting for you to shut their jealously down
they say something rude about the way girls like you take care of yourself and he is just beyondover it and blurts "Okay—What?!"
really pitchy and confused, and also blinking incredulously because what the hell is their problem
Seth is a pretty persistent guy, and he not going to just let someone slip an awkward insult at you and continue to talk to him like normal
he'll be nice at first when they immediately apologize to you and him profusely and everything is cool again
until five minutes later, when you mention being a little tired and they cut in to ask him how you can even keep up with him, greedily eyeing the smooth brown skin of his arms, exposed by his sleeveless shirt, not subtle at all in their admiration of the lean musculature
"What are yOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT⁉️" he explodes, controlled in his anger but soo frustrated at having to listen to this crap, and then the unwanted advances.
he figured it was part of it with the redirection of every subject back to them, but he can't even think about that because that came completely out of left field and he can't just gloss over it again to keep the pace, mamas 😩 ~~yes he says mamas, his sister is a lesbian i think its funny~~
completely bitches them out, but it's just an itemized list of every horrible thing this person has shown about themselves in the short time he has been around them — and after he has said his peace, calmly leaves
you follow him,ofc