Hello, Cassia
There was a certain lightness about the way Cassie moved as she walked to Hogsmeade. She knew it, of course, she knew, but she had decided to ignore it, to ignore the beaming smile that was threatening to appear, ignore the enormous feeling of excitement and happiness that grew from just one person.
She couldn't recall a single time she had felt like this when it concerned any of her other friends, which scared her a bit. She had tried several times on her way down to convince herself that it was because she saw them almost every day of the year apart from summer and Christmas holidays, but whether it worked, she truly didn't want to know.
This was different. Though truthfully Cassie found it somewhat ridiculous as well, she had seen him, what, almost two weeks ago? It hadn't been that long, but still, it felt longer. She made a straight line towards The Three Broomsticks, her feet moving so fast that it was almost a wonder she hadn't fallen yet, considering how clumsy she was.
Had any of her friends or, worst, her brother seen her, they would have teased her to no end, that was for sure. Luckily she had managed to avoid them tagging along this time. Sirius had taken the rest of the Marauders off to Zonko's before they would make their way to Honeydukes. Knowing her friend, she was positive Remus would make them stay there for a while. While Lily and the other girls, well, she didn't know where they were, considering she had left the dorm before any of them had woken up.
As the pub came into view, her feet halted, and as she came to an abrupt stop, a deep sense of deja vu filled her. Clad in his dark woolen jacket, he leaned against the wall with his arms crossed, his eyes swimming back and forth in the sea of students making their way down the street. It was startling how much it reminded her of the first time they had met there, their first full conversation without the presence of their parents. And she couldn't help but think just how funny it was. How much they had changed in just a few months.
As if feeling her gaze, Rabastan's eyes met hers, and immediately a blinding, almost impossibly bright smile stretched across his face as he pushed himself from the wall and started to make his way towards her.
His firm chest was the first thing she felt as his arms wrapped tightly around her and pulled her close, resting his chin on her head. Warmth enveloped her cold body immediately, but that wasn't the cause of the satisfied sigh she fought so hard to contain. Her arms snaked around his torso, yearning for a special case of intimacy she had missed for two weeks.
"Hello, Cassia." His voice was deep and warm, and even without looking at him, Cassie could see his smiling face perfectly in her mind.
A smile, impossible to deny, graced her features as she hugged him closer. "Rabastan." His name lingered in her mouth as she couldn't help but think just how much she had missed him these past weeks.
They stood there for a moment with their arms wrapped around each other, lost in a little world that was entirely their own. At least until Rabastan's grip lessened and he pulled away, letting his arms fall to his side as he gazed down at her, a warm smile still present on his face.
"Hey." She said so softly that for a moment, she almost sounded shy and wanted nothing more than to punch herself. Though truth be told, the way he both looked and smiled at her didn't help at all. She was half ready to try and convince herself that the cause of her flushing cheeks wasn't him but the coldness of the wind that tickled her face.
Suddenly a cold breeze blew past them, and even with her thick woolen coat and scarf, it caused shivers to erupt all over Cassie's body. As Rabastan's smile faded and his eyes clouded with concern, she knew he had noticed.
"Let's get you inside," He said while wrapping one arm over her shoulder, pulling her close, letting her linger in his warmth as they made their way inside. "According to the daily prophet, the weather is going to get immensely colder in the next few days."
"You know, I'm suddenly looking forward to spring again, or better yet, summer. It'd be nice to spend at least a few months out of the year not freezing my arse off."
His shoulders shook as his laugh filled the air. "Yes, well, we wouldn't want that to happen."
Warm air laced with the familiar smell of butterbeer smacked her face the moment they entered the Three Broomsticks. At first glance, it seemed quite crowded, however after letting her eyes adjust to the several students occupying some of the tables, it wasn't nearly as many students as she figured it might be later on. Be it coincidence or fate, the same table the two had occupied each of the previous times stood empty, almost as if it was waiting for them.
Truthfully, she would never know just what made that table so special, apart from the fact that it was located near one of the corners and had more privacy than the ones in the middle of the room, not to mention it was slightly warmer there compared to the ones by the front door.
Without uttering one word, both of them made their way towards the table, like two moths drawn to a flame.
A few moments later, both had removed their jackets, hanging them on the back of their chairs, before Rabastan had taken leave for a couple of minutes as he went by the counter and ordered some butterbeer for them.
A few moments later, both of them had hung their jackets on the back of their chair before Rabastan had taken leave for a couple of minutes as he went and ordered some butterbeer for them.
As she waited for him to return, her eyes lingered at the lone candle standing in the middle of the table as her fingers found their way to the necklace given to her by Regulus for Christmas, which she silently started to fiddle with it. It had been a while since she had spoken to him the last time, face to face specifically. After being able to spend time and talk to him whenever she wanted to during Christmas, it was strange to go back to hardly being able to see him, let alone talk to him.
When the holiday was over, and they had returned to school, it had only gone a few days until Cassie caved in and sent him a letter, signed with her middle name, in case any of his roommates went snooping through his letters, they wouldn't know it was from her.
Over the few weeks since Christmas, the two had exchanged more letters than Cassie would dare to admit. Sometimes it was several letters a day. Other times a few days passed until a new one arrived. The conversations varied immensely. Sometimes they were long, going on for several letters, while other times, they barely lasted for two.
As her eyes glid across the room, taking in the slightly tired but otherwise happy students, who had come here early to get the most of the day, there was a few she recognized, and a few that seemed familiar to her, but without the school uniform it was hard to tell. As she was about to turn her eyes to where Rabastan had gone, a blonde girl clad in blue suddenly caught her attention. At first, Cassie thought nothing of it, though after a moment, she couldn't help but notice that there was something familiar about her. It was almost like she had seen her before, but for some reason, Cassie couldn't quite remember where.
"What are you looking at?"
The sudden appearance of Rabastan's voice caused her gaze to leave the blonde as she turned her head and looked at him. In his hands were two large mugs filled with butterbeer, one which he placed down in front of her before sitting in his chair.
"Nothing, I just-" She paused momentarily, before continuing, "The girl to the right."
Rabastan looked to his right, causing Cassie to shake her head, unable to contain her smile.
"My right, not yours. The blonde in blue, doesn't she seem familiar to you?"
He studied the girl for a moment, not saying anything until he gave one firm nod. "Yes, she does."
"Really? Do you know who she is?"
"Not personally, no. But unless I'm sorely mistaken, I do think that she might be the girl your brother danced with at the Christmas ball."
"Wha-" Cassie whipped her head towards the girl again. And sure enough, now that she looked at her again, she could recall the navy blue dress the girl had worn as she danced with Regulus. "You're right. Itisher." Cassie studied the younger girl for a moment. Her blonde hair was pulled back in a low bun, though her eyes laid firmly on her mug of butterbeer. There was a noticeable shade of blue resting under them, indicating that this girl, whoever she was, did not get a lot of sleep. Though there was just something about the way she looked at her mug that caused Cassie's heart to tug. "You don't think she looks a bit sad, do you?"
Rabastan, whose attention had been solely on Cassie for a while, dragged his eyes from the girl almost unwillingly as he looked at the young blonde again. "Now that you mention it, she does look somewhat unhappy."
"Somewhat unhappy?" A brow arched as she sent him a look of disbelief. "Rabastan, she looks miserable. Do you think she's there all alone?"
"It would seem so," He replied, eyes studying the area near the blonde. "Or not."
Suddenly Cassie noticed a reddish-haired figure making a clear way towards the blonde. A beaming smile decorated the tall figure as she neared the blonde, whose features shone in surprise as she looked up before it faded into a tired smile.
"Wait..." Cassie's eyes widened, and, for a moment, she was almost worried that her mouth was going to drop. "Is that Josephine Burke? The captain of the Slytherin's quidditch team from two years ago? I don't like to praise the competition, but merlin, she was one amazing player."
"Yeah, that is her, "Rabastan replied slowly as if trying to work out a puzzle that seemed to appear in front of him. However, he wasn't alone because suddenly, Cassie's eyes widened even more as she noticed the similar face structure and brown eyes.
"That's Amelia, isn't it? The girl Regulus was dancing with during the ball was Amelia Burke? I can't believe I forgot that she was Josephine's younger sister."
Although the girls were similar, she couldn't recall seeing the two of them often interacting, at least not out of their common room. Now that she thought about it, she remembered brief glances of them during previous Christmas balls and parties, but that had been years ago.
Cassie gave the blonde girl one final glance before turning back to her friend, who was staring rather intently at his drink.
"How does the first day of freedom feel so far?" She teased lightly.
The corner of his lips tilted upwards in an amused smile as he lifted his gaze from the mug. "I'm not sure what's better, a day without the bickering of our mothers or a day I get to spend with you."
"Sweet talker," Cassie muttered, feeling the familiar warmness once again rise to her face. If he had noticed her blushing face outside, he had made no mention about it, but this time he knew. Oh, this time, it could not have been any more obvious. His amused smile was still present and unchanged, but it was the look in his eyes that told her just how much pleasure he took in being the cause of her red cheeks.
"I'm just telling the truth." He leaned back in his seat, looking quite pleased with himself while raising the mug to his lips. "No need to be embarrassed."
"I'm not embarrassed."
"If you say so, but I have to admit, red most certainly is your color."
Cassie's eyes narrowed, feeling a certain tightness in her chest, a feeling that was now growing too much to be able to ignore. She was half tempted to get up and leave before the feeling consumed her. It was pathetic that she would get so worked up over a compliment or two. Not to mention the way he looked at her. It reminded her so much of how he looked at her the last time they met. The time when she told herself to forget any feeling of fear and doubt and just let herself fall blindly into the unknown deeps of her feelings.
It seemed too much, too many new feelings and thoughts, things Cassie hadn't considered before, and several new possibilities, which scared her. It was easier not to think about it than to let it fester and grow, making her unable to think about anything else until it eventually consumed her.
"So," clearing her throat, she continued. "How's your brother and Bella?"
He didn't answer immediately, only looked at her. The grin slipped almost entirely from his face, and the look in his eyes dampened until there was nothing but confinement and acceptance lingering. His mouth opened then closed as if he deemed whatever he was about to say probably better left unsaid.
"They're doing well, I suppose. In need of a new hobby, that's for sure." He finally said, settling his mug on the table and letting his hand rest next to it.
"What is it they do?" Cassie asked curiously. "I mean, you said that they rather insisted that you'd spend time with them."
Rabastan nodded his head. "It's mostly reading together and listening to them talk shit about muggles and muggleborns. It hasn't been that bad, but it's tiresome. I don't know what, but I feel like I can never properly relax when those two come around."
"That does sound tiring. Why don't you go to the cottage? They can't force you to stay unless you want to. Can they?"
"It is not like I'm being forced to stay. It's more like I'd rather stay and be bothered now and get it all done and then go to the cottage instead of having to go back and forth all the time. I could do it, but I'd rather stay there knowing that there won't be an owl or something demanding that I come back down." He explained. "Though I have to admit, I have been toying with the idea to leave. But I know if I do, especially now, before the trip to Paris and the flower decorations and the seating arrangements and merlin knows what my mother has planned, I will never hear the end of it."
"Sounds rough," Cassie grimaced lightly. Suddenly feeling a surge of appreciation for the fact that she was at school. "Though I do hope it lessens soon, if not before the wedding, at least we know they won't disturb us during the honeymoon."
"Thank Merlin for that," Rabastan ran his fingers through his hair before letting his elbow rest on the table, placing his chin in his palm, supporting his head. "Can you imagine if they insisted staying with us the entire trip, just to make sure that we.." he shifted slightly and avoided her eyes for a moment. "You know, consummated."
Horror immediately flashed upon Cassie's features, and shivers ran down her spine. Honestly, the thought alone was enough to almost give her nightmares. "Oh dear god no." she buried her face in her hands, desperately willing herself to get rid of the all too explicit pictures that burned through her mind. It was bad enough that she suddenly envisioned her and Rabastan in a bed together. What really made her want to burn her head off, was the thought of their parents watching.
"Oh, don't say that. You'll give me more nightmares." She shuddered and looked up to him. They stared horrified at each other for a moment before they both burst out in laughter. Although some horror still lingered inside her, it was immediately consumed by the joy that they were able to joke about something like that.
"You and me both, but in all honesty, I wouldn't be all that surprised if it were to happen. I do have to admit; I'm surprised our mothers didn't plan to have the wedding earlier, you know to give us more time to get to know one another."
"I agree." She leaned forward in her seat as she continued. "I thought it was strange. I half expected them to ship us off for a month or so. But then again the wedding might be so big that they need all the time they can spare. I mean, how many times are they going to get to plan an extravagant wedding, one that so happens to be in a castle no less."
"Well, the bigger and more extravagant means there will be more talk about it for months after. You have no idea how many times the two have talked about it during the last half-year or so." His fingers moved along his mug as he raised it to his face, letting the sweet flavor fill him once more.
"I'm not sure if I even want to imagine it," Cassie chuckled softly. Yet she was already hearing the two loud voices ringing through her head as they discussed the most useless things, such as the difference between two different colored napkins, which would most likely be identical to her.
A grin danced on his lips as he studied her face. "You're already imagining it, aren't you?"
She felt her jaw threatened to drop just a bit as she gazed suspiciously at him. How in the bloody hell did he even know that? She stressed to herself, feeling somewhat terrified as she asked, "How did you even know that?"
There was a glint in his eyes that she didn't quite recognize, but the satisfaction on his face was clear as day. Although she couldn't tell what he was thinking, she knew that he looked incredibly proud of himself, if not slightly giddy.
"I know you, Cassia. You are not as hard to read as you would like." Rabastan smiled as his eyes softened. He seemed so different that for a moment, she was about to make a joke that he had asked the barkeeper to fill some alcohol in her drink. The bad lightning caused his dark hair to seem even darker, and the candle burning at the table gave his features a gentle warmness that only seemed to enhance his good looks. He seemed so warm, so inviting, and happy that Cassie wasn't able to do anything but feel her cheeks flush as she lifted her mug, hiding her smile.
She knew that it wasn't long until she had to suggest that they would go outside again, so she would be able to come up with a legitimate and believable excuse for the color decorating her cheeks.
"You know, I never really thought about how different Hogsmeade looks without all the Christmas decorations," Cassie commented as her eyes drifted around the different shops as they wandered around aimlessly.
A smile blossomed on Rabastan's face as his eyes found their way to her. "What do you mean? The decorations are gone almost the entire year save December and early January."
"It's just that you get so used to it during Christmas, not to mention the fact that they make everything seem much warmer and cozier. It isn't until they are gone that you realize how cold the atmosphere really is. Not that Hogsmeade is cold, it just seems less cozy without the decorations."
"Why do I get the feeling that you are one of those people that tends to go overboard while decorating for Christmas," he stated, a certain teasing tone lingering in his voice.
Cassie wasn't able to contain her snort as she quickly replied. "I think you and I have a very different idea of what going overboard means."
As her eyes trailed along the buildings they passed, she failed to notice how his expression had changed into something that resembled a sort of giddiness that only a child would get when given his favorite candy.
"Well, I suppose I just have to wait and see until next Christmas, won't I? Although I should probably say that I'm not that great at decorating, so I will be excited to see how the cottage looks like when we're done."
"When we are done?" Cassie gasped in teasing disbelief as she looked at him. "You mean you're actually planning on helping me. Voluntarily? Merlin, I'm impressed. I always had to lure Sirius with something to get him to help."
"Lure him? With what?" Rabastan asked curiously.
"Anything quidditch related really. My brother wasn't– isn't all that difficult to please. He just likes to make you think so. Trust me, Remus and I know all about it."
Rabastan smiled slightly as he buried his ever-growing colder hands into his pockets. "I'd love to help, but if you prefer, I could always come up with some sort of excuse or something else to do if you prefer to do it alone."
A warm laugh filled the air between the two, which caused Rabastans smile to widen.
Cassie's eyes softened when her laughter died down, "Don't worry, I'd love the help."
As she looked at him, she was almost tempted to comment that Christmas wasn't until another year or rather ten months, but for some reason, the smile on his face stopped her. His brown eyes shone brightly with excitement and a happiness that she could not bear to disrupt.
"You know, my mother would always use magic or hire people to decorate the house for Christmas. It wasn't until my first Christmas with the Potter's that I got to decorate, and I remember we spent hours decorating the house. It was all red and green, mistletoe and garlands, you know, typical Christmas. And then, when we were done with hanging our stockings above the fireplace, Dorea would let us join her in the kitchen as we spent hours making Christmas cookies."
The smile on her face grew ever so slightly as she spoke. Her first Christmas at the Potter's had not only been her favorite one, but it was also the reason she had fallen in love with Christmas.
"I suppose I should be glad that I have almost a year to get ready then. Seeing as I most definitely need to get more decorations if you want mistletoes and garlanders. Not that I really have all that much, to begin with."
"Is it that bad?" Cassie asked.
His face drew up in a grimace as he nodded, thinking about the small box hidden away in the deepest corner of his attic.
"Well... I suppose that would depend on who you ask." Rabastan replied sheepishly. "I have one box with some decorations for the tree, and – well, that's all."
A dark brow rose as Cassie couldn't fight the amused grin that was traded for her smile.
"One box... with all the ornaments?" She chuckled softly. "I suppose I understand why you'd think I would go overboard if that's all the decorations you use. Though funnily enough, I don't recall seeing any of that when we were there."
"In my defense, this Christmas would have been my second at the cottage, but with the ball and everything that happened, it slipped my mind completely. I know that's not an excuse, but with all the things that happened before the ball, and that I never really got the chance to go home much, unless you count the time I brought Regulus to help set up for when we would be staying there, but even then I just completely forgot about it."
His cheeks darkened softly as he spoke, the white snow that was descending slowly around them settling in his hair made the red in his cheeks stand even more out than normally, it almost caused Cassie to laugh, not because of anything he had just said, but because of how he looked. The obvious embarrassment painted on his features, how his eyes that were practically planted on the snowy ground would flicker up to hers ever so often, and the familiar sight of red ears she had forgotten all about. It was endearing.
"I suppose in a way that might be a good thing, though," Cassie replied, causing his eyes to settle on her properly again as he gave her a strange look.
"Really?"
"Well, it will be our first Christmas together as a married couple, and it might be a good experience for us, to – you know, go out and buy the decorations together and bond over it, I suppose." The words flew out of her mouth before she could even stop them, and while Rabastan didn't say anything at first, Cassie couldn't help but immediately start to torture herself silently.
Why did I even say that, bond over Christmas decorations? How stupid am I? she thought furiously, burying her clenching fists in her pockets.
While he didn't say anything at first, a thoughtful expression filled his face, and suddenly, though Cassie failed to notice it, his eyes lit up.
"That's not a terrible idea." He mused thoughtfully. "Though instead of us just bonding, I suppose it would be more like making memories together as well. You see, one of my old roommates from school was a half-blood. Each year, his mother, who was a muggle, would make these homemade decorations, and eventually, it became a sort of tradition. It would be the two of them, along with his sister and father. Truthfully from what Malcolm told me, I think it's a special way to make memories. Imagine a tree ornament that you or your child made, and in several years when you hang it on the tree, you can look back on all the good memories."
Her hands relaxed from their tight grip as an indescribable amount of relief filled her. Make their own decorations... She had never thought of that. Though she could vaguely remember Lily mentioning doing something of the sort with her family, there was something about the fact that Rabastan had said it that just suddenly warmed her heart and touched something deep within her.
"I think that's an excellent idea. Although I have never made homemade Christmas decorations before."
"Neither have I," A blinding smile danced on the older man as he spoke. "Suppose it's a good thing we have time to practice."
Cassie smiled at what she heard and couldn't help raising a brow as she gazed amusingly at him. "You want to make Christmas decorations in June?" she asked.
His eyes widened slightly as if he hadn't even thought about how strange it would be to create Christmas decorations any other time than during December or Christmas. "Oh, no. I – I hadn't thought of that. I suppose that would be a rather strange thing to do in June, wouldn't it? Or any other month that's not winter."
"Just a bit," she replied, struggling to contain her laugh.
Casting her a swift glance, he noticed the look on her face, causing a groan to appear. "You're laughing at me, aren't you?"
"Oh, I wouldn't dare to do that. "Cassie teased, a grin dancing on her lips as she studied his features.
"Oh, you would." he shot back, meeting her gaze as his lips curled up in a small grin. "You bloody well would."
It was like fighting a losing battle. Actually, it was a losing battle. The knowingly way he looked at her with those brown eyes of his caused her to look away. He was right, and although she didn't laugh, she wanted to, very much.
For a short time, the two wandered comfortably in silence, passing the different shops as they wandered around Hogsmeade. Truthfully she was sure this had to be the second if not the third time they passed Madam Puttifoot's tea shop. As usual, during Hogsmeade trips, the shop was filled with several couples occupying a table with their significant other.
"So speaking of Regulus earlier, have the two of you been talking?" Rabastan broke the silence after a moment.
"Quite a bit. I wrote him a letter after we came back using my middle name so it wouldn't cause him any problems with his friends. It isn't the same as seeing him, but it's better than nothing.
"Have you talked to him in person?"
Cassie shook her head as a sudden wave of heaviness washed upon her while sighing deeply. "No, I haven't." She paused briefly, feeling her heart clenched painfully before continuing. "I want to, so much. But I'm afraid that if I do, he's going to get in trouble with his housemates."
Rabastan furred his brows as he couldn't help but ask. "Why would that happen?"
"Because I'm a Gryffindor. Because I'm– well me."
He shook his head as if the entire statement sounded incredibly ridiculous to him. "You are his sister first and foremost; anything else shouldn't matter. Besides, most of them already know we are engaged, so that shouldn't matter either."
"Sure it does." Cassie countered tiredly. "Don't you think that some might resent me for that? That I Cassiopeia Blackborn to the Most Noble and Ancient House of Black, who had raised Slytherins for decades, got sorted into Gryffindor with my twin. I mean, what are the chances? Surely something must be wrong with us, especially since our younger brother got sorted into the right house. What if they think that I'm going to corrupt him just like mother thought of Sirius? What if they think that my engagement to you is just one way of my family trying to regain its honor, not to mention its pride."
"Cassia..."
Although the sound of his voice almost made her look up, she fought against it, refusing to meet his eyes as she continued. "Our family has always been far from perfect, but after Sirius and I started school, any parental affection we had disappeared. I'm not stupid. I know the only reason my mother hasn't disowned me is purely because of the fact that I am a woman. A woman they can sell like a sack of grain off to the most profitable man that will guarantee some benefits for them. A chance for them to regain the honor they lost the day Sirius and I started school."
"Is that what you feel like? Like a sack of grain your parents will sell off?" Rabastan's voice was so quiet she almost didn't hear it. "When you think about our engagement, is that how you feel?"
The way he said it struck something deep within her. Cassie wasn't sure if it was the hurt or guarded look on his face or the way his voice sounded as he spoke, but whatever it was caused her steps to halter, and their eyes locked in an intense gaze.
"I did, at first. During the first few months before we met in Hogsmeade," She started saying, her heart slowly breaking as hurt etched its way into his features. "I thought that when the time would come that I would see you again, those words would haunt my mind. I assumed those thoughts would be plaguing my sleep, but not one thought of mine has contained any of that since that day. I'm certain that I might not have felt like this if it had been anyone else, but as I told you before, I'm glad it's you." She smiled, her eyes filled with a rare warmth as she gently took hold of his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.
Any words he might have had prepared to say died in his mouth. The warmth of Cassie's hand shot up his arm and went straight to his heart. Any trace of hurt had all but disappeared from his eyes as surprise had consumed them. He had almost expected her to confirm the lingering thoughts that had haunted his mind for a while.
Even after every single moment they had had. The nights under the stars, visits to Hogsmeade while holding hands, the several hugs. Of course, the one thing he would never be able to forget, their conversation from the surprise meeting James had organized, when she had asked him not to change.
Even after all that, after all those moments that made him fall just even more for her, he still couldn't fight off the small piece of doubt that would sometimes appear.
He suddenly let go of her hand. The coldness that immediately appeared pained him almost as much as the look on her face did. With a swift motion, he wrapped both his arms around her and pulled her close, causing her eyes to widen in surprise. Feeling the warmth envelop more than just his hand caused him to sigh softly, and as he felt the soft tickle of her hair against his chin, he couldn't help but close his eyes, losing himself in the delightful embrace.
It was like she had stopped breathing. After the numerous moments they had hugged, one would think she would be used to it. But no matter how many times his arms wrapped around her smaller figure and the warmth of his body completely surrounded her, it still felt like the first time. Especially when he would take her by surprise like he just did.
A small, almost unnoticeable sigh escaped as she willed herself to let her arms rest around his waist, feeling just how broad his back was. As his breath danced carefully over her hair, she couldn't help but melt into him. Every worry, every nightmare, every single thought that had been torturing her mind for the last few weeks vanished, leaving nothing but the simple thought that she wouldn't mind being in those arms for a while.