Dibs

At the age of 14, Kara started Estrogen shots. It was over the summer and her doctor said it would be good to start before she hit male puberty.

Kara also grew a few inches over summer, she was 5’6 now compared to the 5’2 she was at before. She hoped that she would stop growing soon. She didn’t want to be too tall.

She had a new found love for skirts. Any kind really, her favorites were the plaid ones that she could wear with a cute collared top.

Alex pointed out that she looked like a girl that went to a private school. Kara didn’t mind. Her hair was below her shoulders now, and it had a slight wave to it. She was much more confident this year, compared to the one prior.

She still hated high school though.

She found herself thinking about the Luthor girl often. How she was doing, what  she looked like, how her summer went...

But Kara knew she couldn’t ask, because Lena was her bully. And she had to remember that. Lena wasn’t her friend. One nice action didn’t mean Lena liked her. Like Lena said, Kara was hers to bully and not anyone else’s.

But Kara still dreamed of the idea of being Lenas friend.

So, Kara walked into school the first day of her sophomore year, a light pink back pack on her shoulders, her light blue slip-on vans on her feet, and one of her “school girl” outfits. Her first class was astronomy, a science class her school offered.

She loved space, it had always fantasized her. Because the more you think about it, the more confusing it gets.

This is where she met Winn, her best friend from now until forever.

Winn was a nerd, like Kara, but he had other friends besides Kara.

But he liked Kara the best.

Winn was the first boy that had willingly approached Kara and introduced himself. Kara had thought it was a joke at first, a prank from one of his friends.

But it wasn’t, and Kara hated high school, but she liked Winn.

“I want to work at NASA one day.” Winn explained, a daydreaming look in his eye.

Kara laughed lightly, “You do that.”

“What? You don’t think I could?” Winn turned his head, looking like a lost puppy.

“Winn, you’re the only person I know that I think could get into NASA. Life just moves so slow, it feels so far away from now.” Kara smiled, continuing to take notes from the textbook.

“True, but eventually, I’m gonna work at NASA.”

“I can’t wait.” Kara smiled.

Kara was stuffing her textbook into her locker and grabbing her other one when Lena spoke to her for the first time that year.

“What’s up, loser.” Lena leaned against the lockers next to Kara, a piece of gum in her mouth.

Kara could feel that slight shiver go up her spine, but it wasn’t so evident this year. Maybe it was because she didn’t view Lena as much of a threat anymore, but a simple bully. One with many insecurities that just wants to feel better.

Kara didn’t mind being that person, if she made Lena feel better, then so be it.

“Hello, Lena.” Kara sighed, glancing at the girl.

“Your outfits have definitely improved since last year, although you still look like shit. The effort is there.”

That one did hurt Kara in a way, as she thought she looked nice that day.

Kara tried to push it out of her mind, and shut her locker.

“I heard your taking that astrology class, that’s fucking lame. What’s it tell colleges? That you know what stars are?” A laugh left Lenas mouth, and Kara chewed the inside of her cheek.

“I think it’s cool.” Kara defended, turning on her heel to walk to her next class.

“Where ya heading, dweeb?” Lena took a large step to walk besides the brunette.

“History.” Kara deadpanned.

“With...?” Lena lead on.

“Connor.”

“No way! Me too, how fun is that?” Lena gave a smile, and Karas stomach clenched.

What Kara would give to just be the Luthors friend.

“Although, if we’re gonna be walking to class together, I’m gonna need you to dress a bit nicer.” Lena said, acting as if it was obvious.

Lena didn’t mean that though, she thought the skirt was cute and the top was nice, but watching Karas face frown humored her.

“You’ll have to come over to my place soon, so I can give you some of my clothes. Don’t wanna have you ruining my reputation.”

The girls walked into history class together, Lena rushing to sit with her friends, leaving Kara alone at the front of the class.

Kara sat next to Lena on the seating chart.

Kara wished she didn’t.

All of the images Kara formed of the Luthor over the summer we’re fake and unrealistic, and Kara realized that. Lena was still an asshole.

Kara hated high school, and she hated Lena most of all.

The weeks went by and Lena seemed to only get worse and worse. Kara likes to blame that maybe Lena was having a bad day. Or that she got a bad grade on a test. Or her boyfriend at the time broke up with her.

Kara liked to find a lot of excuses for Lenas actions, but that’s all they were. Excuses.

Kara surely hated Lena, but Winn liked to point out how often Kara defended the Luthor.

“Kara, you’re not even stupid, and who cares if you’re a virgin?! That’s not even a big deal, Lenas just an asshole!” Winn sat across from Kara at their lunch table, and Kara poked at her salad with a fork. “And you’re not fat! She really said that?” Winn clenched his jaw in anger. “Why don’t you go to the principal about-“

“No!” Kara interrupted, realizing she spoke a bit too loud as the surrounding tables glanced at her. “No.” She said quieter.

“Why? You don’t want her to get in trouble or something?” Winn sat back, crossing his arms.

“No, I just-“ Kara paused, shoving the bowl of salad away from her body. “It’s not that big of a deal.” Kara finalized, clenching her jaw.

Winn took notice a few days later that Kara didn’t eat lunch anymore. It took a week for him to notice that Kara was paler than usual and her eyes had dark circles under them.

On the last day of the 1 semester, Winn ran into Lena in the halls.

“Luthor.” The boy called, and the girl looked at him with wide eyes.

“Do I know you?” She crossed her arms, her bathroom pass flung around her arm.

“I’m a friend of Karas.”

“Who?”

“Don’t act stupid with me. She may want to protect you, for whatever reason, I don’t know! But you are tanking her mental health, and I don’t even want to get started on her physical health, she’s lost five pounds in the past two weeks, because you’ve manipulated her into thinking she’s fat and ugly and stupid and all of the above! You are sick and twisted and a complete asshole! You don’t deserve to even look at her!” Winn was in a blind rage, ranting to the black haired girl.

If Winn took notice of the way Lenas face had slowly turned into a frown, he didn’t say anything about it. Because the second the boy was done talking, he was on his heel and marching back to class, leaving a frozen Luthor in the hall.

When the second semester started, Lena and Kara were paired for a history project. They could make it on whatever they decided, it just had to follow the rubric the teacher handed out

“Alright, you come to my place after school then, los-“ Lenas voice cut off as she turned her head to face Kara. Winns voice drilling through her mind “You are sick and twisted!”

Lena looked away, packing up things, “Then we can figure out what we should do for the project.”

Kara nodded, shutting her textbook and standing to her feet, the bell ringing as she did so.

Lena scribbled her number on to a piece of notebook paper, handing it to Kara. Lenas body sunk as Kara flinched at Lenas gesture.

Kara glanced up at Lenas eyes for a split second, then back at the paper, grabbing it.

“Text me so I can send you my address. Come at 6.” Lena kept her voice steady, but she felt like her world was spinning.

How could she have been so oblivious to Kara? The girl was a walking stick, she barely even spoke in class, and she just flinched from Lena handing her a piece of paper.

Lena watched the brunette leave the class, and she barely heard the sound of her friends approaching her.

—

On the way home, Lena got a text from Kara.

K: It’s Kara.

L: Hi, addy is 8164 w Luthor Lane

K: Ur street name is ur last name?

L: Blame my mother.

K: ok

Kara arrived to Lenas at 5:55pm. Lena made sure to be the one to greet her at the door, because her entire family was very intimidating.

Lena preferred that Kara didn’t meet her parents at all actually.

“What’s up.” Lena opened the door, inviting the other girl inside.

“Hi.” Kara spoke, barely above a whisper.

Lenas stomach lurched.

“I’ll show you to my room.” Lena shut the door once Kara was inside and began her walk towards her bedroom.

Kara was looking around in astonishment. Her parents weren’t poor, but they definitely weren’t rich like this.

As they walked up the stairs, Lena cringed as she heard her mother’s office door open.

“Lena, who’s here?”

“My project partner.” Lena responded, the black haired girl almost sounded bored.

Great, your boring her now. Karas mind screamed, her feet itched to turn around and make a run for her car.

Lenas mom stepped out of her office, eyes widening as she saw Kara.

“Oh, you’re the transgender girl, the school emailed us about you.”

Karas throat seemed to close up, she glanced down to her shoes, hands tightening around her back pack straps.

“Mother.” Lena seethed, glaring at the older woman.

Lenas mom rolled her eyes, turning back into her office and slamming the door shut.

Karas body jumped and Lena looked at Kara in alarm.

Kara hated it here.

Lena gulped, “Just follow me. She won’t bother us once we’re in my room.”

The two girls reached Lenas room, and Kara swore this room was three times the size of her own. And it had a walk in closet and it’s own bathroom.

“Nice room.” Kara willingly spoke for the first time.

Lenas eyes widened before she settled, “thanks.”

There was an awkward silence, but Lena wasn’t sure if Kara noticed. The brunette was walking around, looking at the posters and pictures along the walls. The girl stopped at a picture of Lena when she was 9.

Lena could see the internal conflict. The girls mind was racing.

Lena knew she shouldn’t have, but god she was curious.

“How’d you know...” Lena paused as the girl turned towards her. “That you were a girl?”

Kara stared slightly before turning her focus to her hands, should I really tell this girl my whole life story? The girl that bullied me on a daily?

“I don’t know, I kind of always knew I guess. I just didn’t really know what my feelings meant.” Kara started. “I used to tell my biological mom, when I was young, that I was a girl. But I was so young, they didn’t really understand. I didn’t figure out I was trans until, well, freshmen year.”

Lena nodded, “I don’t mean to pry, I just got curious, it’s always been interesting to me.”

Kara looked up at Lena, squinting her eyes. “Can we just do the project? I don’t need you acting nice to me so you can get my hopes up, and then be a complete asshole to me tomorrow.”

Lena flinched, visibly, “I’m not acting-“

“I don’t want to hear it, Lena. I get it, you hate me, you think I suck, that I’m a loser, and I’m fat and ugly and everything in between. But I don’t want you acting friendly and making me think that maybe you aren’t so bad! That you aren’t as bad as you are at school! But I already hate myself enough, I don’t need you adding on to it every day of my goddamn life!” Kara yelled, and Lenas heart was pounding in her ears. She watched as Karas eyes watered and her blue orbs got brighter. She watched as tears streamed down the brunettes cheeks.

Lenas heart broke, because she did this to the girl. And she thought it was a joke, that what she said to the girl was funny and all in good fun.

But Lena had hurt her far beyond what she planned.

“I don’t think that.” Lena tried, but she didn’t quite know what to say in response.

Kara scoffed, wiping away her tears. “Right.”

“I don’t!” Lena stepped forwards, and Kara stopped back, making Lena freeze. “I was joking, I swear! I didn’t mean any of it, you’re not fat or ugly! God, you’re the prettiest girl at our school. And you aren’t fat, anyone can see that. You’re the smartest person in any of my classes and god, I’m jealous of you most of the time.” Lena ranted, throwing her hands.

Kara looked at the other girl, scanning her for any sign that she was lying. But even Lenas eyes had teared up a bit.

Lena was breathing heavy, her shoulders slouched and she looked defeated. “Jesus, I’ve had a crush on you since freshmen year.”

Kara eyes widened and she met Lenas eyes. Both girls looked shocked.

Because Lena wasn’t supposed to say that.

And Kara was definitely not supposed to hear that.

“W-What?”

Lena threw her head back, falling into her bed, wishing it would swallow her.

“You weren’t supposed to know that.” Lena mumbled.

“Yeah, well, who’s fault is that?” Kara mumbled back.

“Can we just do the project?” Lena whispered, and as much as Kara wanted to keep talking. Figure out what the hell was going on.

She agreed.

The twos project was on how the first car engine was built.

They got a 94%.

Lena stopped talking to Kara for the rest of the year. Kara found herself missing the black haired girl.

But neither had the guts to approach the other.

Kara hated highschool with all of her heart. But she hated the fact that missed Lena even more.