redamancy

Charlie sits up with a deep inhale, she pants and looks around, she's alone. She is alone in the OR room. Sudden voices draw her curiosity. She jumps off the bed and opens the door. Her friends are gathered outside.

"Hey! It's okay, I'm fine!" She calls them but they can't hear her. She tried to call out again but a voice cut off hers.

"They can't hear you." She turns around, standing in front of her was her dad.

"Dad?" She asks, he nods his head.

She smiles and takes a cautious step towards him, she holds out a hand, willing to touch him.

"It's okay. I'm real." He holds out his hand and Charlie touches it. She flings her arms around his neck, breathing in his scent and letting the tears fall. Her dad is here. "You have to see." One moment she's holding her dad, the next minute she's in the gallery. Charlie stands there, looking down. She watches them as they try to revive her heart

The door opens. Addison adorned in blue scrubs, the necklace she had gifted her hung gently around her neck, enters. Her eyes are filled with tears, but she holds them back as she watches Charlie being operated on. A hand reaches up and grips the necklace around her neck. She takes a step forward then places one hand on the glass. She closes her eyes. Mumbled under her breath, she starts to pray. Charlie reaches her hand out, but can't quite reach to touch her.

"Please. Come on Charlie. Come back to me."

Legally she's dead. She's been flat-lining for 2 minutes and 17 seconds and Charlie just watches on as Dr Bailey and Dr Burke do what they can to get her heart starting again.

She can't watch this. She can't watch Addison crying over her anymore. She exits the gallery and follows the sound of crying. She finds Alex, sitting on the floor by her locker. In his hands, he clutches a photo. It's of them at graduation. Grins wide, arms wrapped around each other. He doesn't say anything. He just cries. She sits on the bench in front of him, she wants to wipe away his tears and hug him tight.

Just as she leaves him, he mumbles a prayer for her to live under his breath.

She finds her dad again. He's standing where her friends are all waiting outside the OR room.

"What are you doing here anyway? I'm not supposed to see you yet." He asks, turning to his daughter."

"I was playing the hero and got shot." Charlie laughs, thinking about how stupid she had truly been.

"Of course you were. Also have to prove yourself don't you, always have to be the hero."

"Well yeah, I would like to see any of the boys do that, and anyway the heroes get the girl in the end," Charlie says crosses her arms and puffing out her chest.

"Did you? Get the girl, I mean?" He asks her, a smile on his face.

"Yeah, Dad. I got the best one." Charlie smiles and thinks of all the amazing times she shared, and all the times she would miss.

"What about Alex? You surely can't leave behind your best friend, can you?" She furrows her brow; he holds out his hand. She takes it and suddenly, they're somewhere else.

It's a funeral.

It's her funeral.

She stands over her own grave.

On one side it's her friends, her crew. They all support each other. George is gripping Izzie, to keep her upright and Meredith and Cristina are holding hands. Twisted Triplets were down to two. The rows behind them are filled with doctors and nurses all paying their tribute. She can even see Emily, the woman she died for. The other side, her family. Her mom, crying. Her brothers, steely faced, jaws tight, refusing to show emotion.

She sees Addison. Her sunglasses cover her face and she has a clenched jaw. Charlie can tell, she's holding back the tears.

Then there's Alex. He stands next to Addison, his hands are in his pockets and he's just staring down at the coffin. His face is blank. He's angry

"He quits." Her dad says to her as he settles next to her. "The day after your funeral, he quits and moves out of Seattle and no one hears from him again. He moves somewhere where it doesn't rain because he says the rain reminds him of you."

Someone clears their throat and Alex steps up to the small podium at the head of her casket.

"I met Charlie in middle school when we were 11. She was the only girl to try out for the wrestling team. Coach told her no, but...I remember her being so adamant. She er...she came to me to ask for help with her training for the team and I just...I looked at this little, scrawny kid with braces who would sit by herself reading at lunch and," He takes a moment to compose himself. "I took her in. I became her friend and in return, she became my rock. Throughout high school and the shit with my family, she was there.

Then she told me about medical school, we both mentioned it and never really talked about it but she really encouraged me to just do it and then I thought 'fuck it, why not have my best friend by my side for all of it? So we both went to medical school then came to Seattle Grace. Charlie...Charlie was...until her last day Charlie always put others before herself. That's why she was a great doctor. Then she met Addison, my god that kid was so in love with her. I don't think that girl had ever loved anyone as much as she loved Addison, and...I'm just angry that Charlie's gone because she...she had so much more to do. She had places to go and patients to save and things to do. She's my best friend. My sister." Alex squeezes his eyes and shut takes his place back next to Addison.

Charlie watches on. Her dad claps her shoulder, "Come on, there's more to show you."

"More? Jesus, Dad. I've just watched my best friend give a eulogy at my funeral." She laughs but nods her head.

He clicks his fingers and they're outside a house. Charlie looks through the window. Addison. The redhead sits on an armchair, reading. She looks up, almost as if she knows that Charlie is there. Charlie moves before she even knows what's doing. She's at the door in seconds. She reaches out for the doorknob but hesitates.

"It's okay. You can go in." The door opens and Charlie steps into the hallway. Immediately she is met with photos of her. The surrounding walls are covered with frames upon frames of memories they shared. Her eye-line settles on one, just behind the front door. It was a picture of them at Meredith's birthday. Arms around in each other, Charlie kissing Addison's cheek, both of them smiling widely.

They were caught unaware, just living in the moment. She heads into the living room. Addison still sitting there, the book in her hand, playing with the necklace around her neck.

"Charlie." She whispers out her name. Charlie reaches out to grasp Addison's hand, but she can't. "I miss you." The redhead lets out tears and holds her head in her hands.

"She never gets over you dying." He says clasping a hand on her shoulder. "She tries to move on, she tries to feel something but nothing compares to the way she felt for you." Charlie watches as the house fades away and they're back at the hospital.

"How about the boys? How do they cope? What about mom?"

"Well, you know your mother. She's a trooper, and the boys, well they don't exactly talk about it." Charlie smiles at her dad. "I'm trying to get a message across to you, Charlie."

"And what exactly is that message."

"The message is; you have a choice. To live or to die, it's all up to you." He clasps a hand on her shoulder. Tears are now running down her face, he wipes them away.

"There's still so much I want to do." She confesses to him.

"Then go and do it."

"I- "

"It's okay, Charlie. I know. Now go. Go save lives. You go through those doors, and you're back." He points to the OR doors, where she woke up, a light spilling from them.

Charlie smiles at her father, she takes a moment, taking him in. She takes a deep breath and pushes the doors open.

*

Bailey is still frantically trying to get her heart to start beating.

"You do not get to die on me, Beck. Come on."

"Bailey, maybe we should call it.

"Just once more, please." Bailey takes the paddles given to her by a nurse.

Clear.

Once.

Clear.

Twice.

Clear.

Three times.

Charlie's heart finally starts beating again.

*

As soon as Charlie's out of surgery, she's wheeled into the Recovery Unit. Every spare minute, Alex has, she spends it by Charlie's side.

Bailey watches as he sits by her side. "She...she, er, go easy on the pain meds. She used to be an addict, she's 8 years clean. Don't let it happen...and don't tell anyone, about her addiction." He murmurs and Bailey takes in the information she just learned.  Bailey smiles and walks away leaving them behind.

"You're okay." He kisses her knuckle and holds her hand in his. "God, don't...don't do that again. You are not allowed to do that to me, ever." He whispers to her amongst the beeping of the machines. "I called your mom. She's gonna get here as fast as she can, but it might be a few hours." Addison stands outside, wanting to go in and take Alex's place, but she couldn't help but feel guilty. Charlie was there because of her.

When Charlie eventually wakes, she is alone, and in a lot of pain.

It takes her a while to get used to the bright lights, she groans and winces in pain. She tries to call out but her voice freezes, nothing comes out. She blinks a few times but opens her eyes wide and the sounds of spilling liquid draw her attention. Addison stands in the doorway, eyes wide, her hand still in the shape of where she held her coffee cup.

Charlie smiles at her and Addison rushes to her side.

"Oh my god."

Charlie tries to speak but Addison just shushes her and takes Charlie's hand.

"It's okay. I love you, god I love you so much. Just please don't ever do something like that again. Okay?"

Charlie nods and Addison holds her hand to her cheek.

Meredith watches on as Addison and Charlie share a moment. Cristina links her arms with Meredith's and rests her head on her shoulder. "I still can't believe that dumbass tackled a gunman," Cristina says. Meredith lets out a laugh. Izzie joins them and George walks by with a quick step.

"She's okay?" He asks, standing in front of the glass, looking into her room.

"Yes George, she's okay." Izzie smiles at him and nods his head joining his friends, watching Addison and Charlie.

Bailey comes in to check in on her a while later.

"Nice of you to join the land of the living, Dr Beck." She checks her chart and writes down a few things. She takes a moment before lightly whacking Charlie's uninjured arm.

"Ow." Charlie groans, pulling a face at Bailey.

"What the hell were you thinking? Tackling a shooter. You could have died, Beck! You did, you were out for three minutes."

"I'm sorry...I bet I have some cool scars though, chick dig scars." Charlie says, her speech slurred, she's still clearly high off the anaesthetic from the surgery. Dr Bailey just rolls her eyes at her comment. "Can you let me see my friends now? They've been waiting a while." Every free moment they got, they would come and wait outside Charlie's room until they could go in and talk to her.

"Yes, I will send in the insufferable interns who have all been worried about you." Bailey smiles and leaves to talk to the interns.

"Doctor Bailey?" Charlie calls back, just before she leaves the room. She turns. "Can you find Alex for me?" She nods her head and talks to the gaggle of interns that wait outside of Charlie's room.

"She's awake. You can go and see her but please be careful with her." They nod their heads and crowd into their friend's room.

"Hey." Charlie smiles, widely.

"What were you thinking!" Meredith is the first to rip into her.

"You were stupid Charlie. Why did you think tackling a shooter would be a good idea?" A cacophony of voices can be heard while Cristina sneaks a look at Charlie's chart.

"It was pretty bad-ass though. Like something out of a James Bond film." George adds as he sits at the end of the bed.

"Thanks. Does anyone know where Alex is? I asked Bailey to find him, but I wanna talk to him now." She slurs, adding a smile to the end of her sentence. "And Addison!" She adds "I wanna see my girlfriend." Charlie closes her eyes and smiles widely. "I love my girlfriend."

"I'll go and find them." Meredith smiles and squeezes Charlie's hand.

*

She searches up and down the floors of the hospital finally making it to Peds. Addison stands, looking into the NICU.

"Addison?"

She says nothing to her, Meredith just stands next to her silently.

"We had our first kiss in there. Well, maybe not first. Anyway, it was late, you guys had all gone home and she was staying to check on a preemie I had delivered earlier that day. She...she had her hand in the bassinet and the preemie was gripping her finger. She looked so happy. At that moment, with a baby gripping onto her finger. Everything else just fell away and it was just us. No one else. She was getting me coffee. She was out there because of me and now...now she's in here because of me." Addison says, with tears filling her eyes, her arms are wrapped around herself. She looks so small, so fragile.

"She's okay, you know. She's awake and asking for you." Meredith places a comforting hand on her arm. "Come on, I'll take you." They leave the NICU and head to the Recovery Unit.

Addison stands in the doorway with Meredith, listening to Charlie's high ramblings.

"It was so weird like I was here but I wasn't and I saw my dad and he showed me the future. So yeah, I didn't see God though." She tells them animatedly.

"You are so high." Cristina laughs to her left.

"And so incredibly stupid." A voice adds from the doorway, Charlie looks up and sees Addison. She looks small, her arms are wrapped around herself.

"Pretty girl! Hi." Charlie smiles. Addison takes a step further into the room.

"Could you guys give us a minute?" She says to the interns. Everyone leaves and lets them have a minute of peace.

She stands back from Charlie, not allowing herself to come any closer. Charlie reaches out her hands, making a grabbing motion with them.

"Come here." Charlie groans. Addison takes a small step closer and Charlie takes her hand.

"You were there because of me. You were getting coffee for me.

Charlie furrows her brow and makes a face. Addison was right, if Charlie hadn't been getting coffee, none of this would have happened.

"I chose to get you coffee. You didn't make me, I wanted to. It's on me, okay?" Charlie asks, tugging on Addison's hand, trying to get her to smile. "Can we cuddle now? I've missed my pretty girl and I'm tired." She says letting out a yawn, Addison nods and curls up next to Charlie, her head resting on Charlie's uninjured shoulder.