Chapter 1
“A play?”
“Yes, honey. A play.”
Josie hesitates for a moment, toying with the hem of her skirt and trying to avoid her mother’s expectant eyes.
It was her senior year, where was she supposed to find the time to direct a school play?
“Oh, come on, it’ll be fun!” Caroline urges her, clearly sensing her daughter’s reluctance. “You could even do a musical! I mean, you had a great time at the talent show a few years ago! And you have an incredible voice, sweetie.”
No, she couldn’t. Between her schoolwork, college applications, Honor Council, and training, she was already exhausted and overwhelmed. Trying to work rehearsals into that equation sounded like hell on earth.
“I-“ She began, clearing her throat and straightening up in her seat. As much as she hated to turn her mom down, she knew that she had to.
“I really think you could use a distraction right now, Josie. So much has changed over the summer…”
She was right about that, these last few months had felt like a bit of a disaster.
After her little run-in with black magic, she had pretty much shut herself off from everyone. Not that she had had to try too hard to keep anyone away, she was pretty sure that everybody hated her now.
She had spent the last bit of her junior year cooped up in the library, reading anything that she could get her hands on to try to bring Hope back. In the grand scheme of things, school had seemed pretty irrelevant, and there was no point in trying to keep up with her classes when she technically wasn’t a witch anymore.
After a grueling few weeks, Josie finally found a way to dive back into her own head to retrieve Hope, but she had needed to restore her siphoning abilities to do it.
Needless to say, she was terrified. Despite having been completely in control since Hope had helped her defeat her dark alter-ego, she didn’t trust herself. She doubted that she would ever trust herself with magic again.
But as much as her magic scared her, the prospect of losing Hope was infinitely more terrifying.
Landon, of course, survived by sheer dumb luck. He resurrected on his own, to literally nobody’s relief, shortly after Hope was brought back.
And although it had been a long time coming, Landon still was caught off guard when Hope broke up with him. It hadn’t been easy for Hope either, and Landon certainly hadn’t made it any easier on her.
But she’d been there for Hope through all of it, just like Hope had been there for her when Dark Josie had taken over. Just like Hope had been there for her when her dad stepped down as headmaster and decided to move away.
After being subjected to one too many crazed political rants, Maya had “accidentally” hit Ethan with her car, killing him instantly and triggering the werewolf gene that she didn’t know she possessed. While Maya had made a pretty effortless transition to the Salvatore School, her grief-stricken mother had run off to Utah hoping for a fresh start, taking Ric with her.
Needless to say, it hurt to lose her dad to a woman he had only known a few months, but she figured that, after everything she’d done, she probably deserved it.
On the upside, since the Merge had technically been completed, Caroline had been able to return to Mystic Falls and take over as Headmistress. It was nice to have her mom around after so many years apart, and Josie could tell that she was trying her best to be a good mother and Headmistress. Caroline had already made a few much-needed changes to the school, like hiring a team of actual adults to handle the Malivore situation, as well as 3 therapists- one witch, one vampire, and one wolf.
She’d spent all summer working with Dani, the new witch therapist. Of course, they’d spent a good bit of their time together working through the aftermath of Dark Josie and trying to get her to re-engage with her peers, but above all else, she was still supposed to be practicing saying ‘no’ more often and learning to take care of herself. Wouldn’t Dani be proud of her for turning her mother down?
As if on cue, Caroline adds, “I talked to Dani, she thinks that this is a great opportunity for you.”
Shit. Apparently not.
This was going to be a long few months.
“Okay.” Josie agrees, giving her mother the sincerest smile she could muster.
“Okay?”
“Yeah.”
Caroline absolutely beams, and Josie can’t help but grin a bit back at her, despite the lump she feels forming in her throat.
“Oh, thank you so much, honey. I think the school really needs something like this right now.”
Her heart drops a bit at the remark, tears beginning to burn at the corners of her eyes.
This is so stupid, why was she even getting upset? It’s just a play, it’s not a big deal.
“Anything else the school needs while I’m here?” Josie asks, her tone a bit more bitter than she intended. Caroline doesn’t respond, just opens her mouth as if to say something then closes it again. “Great. Goodnight then, mom.” Josie adds snippily, slinging her backpack over her shoulder and blinking away tears as she made her way out the door.
“What was that all about?” A sarcastic voice drawls from beside her as she nudges the door shut. Crap, she’d forgotten that Hope had decided to wait for her when her mom had called her in. She wipes her eyes as discreetly as possible, turning to face Hope with what she hoped was a fairly neutral expression. Apparently, her face had still betrayed her, because Hope’s expression morphed from one of casual interest to deep concern as soon as their eyes met. “Jo, what’s wrong?”
She pauses for a moment, searching for the words to describe whatever it was that she was feeling.
“Did something happen?” Hope tries again. Josie opens her mouth in an attempt to respond, but all she manages is a deep sigh as she begins to slowly make her way down the hall, extending a silent invitation for Hope to follow.
She can feel the tribrid’s eyes on her, but she keeps her gaze fixed on the row of paintings hung up and down the corridor. Since her mom had hired Freya as the head of the Salvatore School’s new protection team, Hope had gotten to spend the summer on campus with the twins. She’d had plenty of time on her hands, so she decided to try to get back into painting. Her efforts were more than successful, and the Salvatore halls were now adorned with canvas after canvas of Hope’s work.
Josie couldn’t help but notice them each time she passed, reflecting on the memories that she tied to each one.
After everything that had happened, it was really hard for Josie to spend time with her friends and family. Every time she looked at them, she couldn’t help but become overwhelmed by guilt and shame. She couldn’t stand the hint of fear she saw in each of their eyes whenever she entered the room, couldn’t stand the way that they walked on eggshells around her, as if one wrong move could send her spiraling back into another homicidal rampage, couldn’t stand how people kept checking up on her- not because they were concerned about her well being, but rather for their own safety.
But Hope was different. While everyone else had been doing everything in their power to ‘fix’ her or keep her under control, Hope had simply been there with words of support and comfort and reassurance. And when Josie didn’t want to talk, Hope had been perfectly content to accompany Josie in silence, working on her newest painting as Josie just stared at the ceiling and allowed herself to get lost in her thoughts. Every single one of those paintings reminded Josie of a shared moment between them, one in which she felt content and safe and loved.
It was the moments like that that had made Josie fall back in love with Hope, fall harder than she ever had before. After 3 blissful summer months spending nearly every waking moment together, Josie could no longer deny that she was completely, totally, and irrevocably in love with Hope Mikaelson.
Hope Mikaelson, who may have been there to support her all summer long, but could never love someone like her- someone who had finally shown the world their true colors and turned out to be a monster.
Josie was yanked back to reality by a gentle hand tugging at her own, directing her down the hall to Hope’s room instead of hers. “You’re staying with me tonight, remember?” Hope reminded her.
Oh, right. Lizzie had texted her earlier requesting that she leave the room to her and MG for the night, followed by a series of vegetable emojis that Josie definitely could’ve gone without.
Not that Josie wouldn’t have slept in Hope’s room anyways; It felt like she was spending the night in the tribrid’s dorm more often than not at this point.
Hope guided her into the room, taking her backpack from her and placing it on the floor. Josie wandered over to the bed while Hope grabbed the t-shirt of hers that Josie always borrowed when she slept over. It was white and a bit-worn out, and had a faded image of the streets of New Orleans on the front. It must’ve been huge on Hope because it fell almost to Josie’s knees.
The tribrid handed the garment to her with a small smile, which Josie returned with what probably came across as a weak grimace.
“I’m gonna go…” Hope trailed off, making some kind of vague hand gesture. “Be right back.” She added, giving Josie’s arm a light squeeze before hurrying out the door.
Ever since Caroline and Freya had banned Hope from involving herself in the Malivore situation, she’d developed this new little habit. Every night before bed, she insisted upon personally checking the locks on every door and window in the school (besides the ones in the dorms, obviously). It didn’t take all that long with Hope’s super speed, but it still seemed like quite a chore to Josie.
“I don’t know, I guess it just makes me feel safer. If I can’t fight the monsters anymore, at least I can make sure we keep them out of the school.” Hope had explained to her late one night.
One night, she had convinced Hope not to check the locks, just to stay in bed with her. It had been alright at first, but by midnight, she was doing everything she could think of to comfort a sobbing Hope, and by 3am, she was accompanying the tribrid around the school to check the locks with her.
She’d left Hope’s routine alone since then. She couldn’t bear to see Hope upset, and it was a million times worse when she was the cause of it.
Josie slips her shoes off and nudges them under the bed with her foot before ridding herself of her school uniform and replacing it with Hope’s sleep shirt. Just as she’s sliding under the covers, Hope returns, still a bit winded.
Josie doesn’t mean to stare while Hope changes into her pajamas, she just happened to be looking in that direction.
Okay, that’s a lie. She reminds herself over and over that leering at your naked best friend is not appropriate, but her eyes don’t seem to get the message. Every time she forces them away, they slide right back over to Hope of their own accord. God, she feels like such a creep.
Hope flicks the lights off and slides into bed beside her, more or less pulling the brunette on top of her without a word.
Josie had never expected Hope Mikaelson of all people to be a cuddler, but if this summer had proven anything to her, it was that she was very wrong about that.
Warm hands slipped underneath her shirt, and Josie relaxed in the tribrid’s embrace as she began to gently rake her nails up and down her back. She felt strong fingers begin to press into her shoulders, relieving some of the tension there, and simply laid her head against Hope’s chest, reveling in the attention.
“How was your day?” The older girl murmured in her ear. A familiar swarm of butterflies appeared in Josie’s stomach as Hope dipped her head down and pressed her lips to the underside of Josie’s jaw.
Okay, so maybe “cuddly” isn’t the right word for Hope, but she didn’t really have any better way of putting it. It’s not like they were hooking up or anything like that; sure, Hope had touched her everywhere (well, almost everywhere) and kissed her pretty much anywhere but her lips, but it wasn’t a sexual thing. At least, she didn’t think it was.
Honestly, it was a little bit confusing for her. It wasn’t like she could just ask Hope what was going on. She got the impression that if she ever tried having an actual conversation with Hope about…whatever this was, it would stop, and that was the absolute last thing that Josie wanted to happen. So, she kept her mouth shut and her hands to herself and just let Hope do whatever she wanted.
Sometimes, she wondered whether or not she was taking advantage of the tribrid by not stopping her. I mean, if Hope knew just how much all of this made her feel, would she keep doing it? Was it possible that Hope knew exactly what she was doing, and just enjoyed being able to affect her like this?
Josie reasoned with herself that maybe, since Hope hadn’t had a lot of close relationships with people her age besides Landon, she just didn’t know what normal physical boundaries for friendships were. Or maybe Hope just liked physical contact. Whatever, it didn’t really matter. Either way, Hope is straight (a fact that she reminds Josie of on at least a daily basis).
This, Hope kissing her neck, didn’t mean anything. She was just trying to get Josie to relax enough to open up to her. And, well, it was working.
“My day was good…mostly.” Josie replies, tilting her head further to the side to give Hope a little more access.
The tribrid hums against her neck in acknowledgment. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
Josie lets out a little sigh, one that turns into more of a breathy whimper when Hope’s latches onto a particularly sensitive part of her throat. “Uhm…” She begins, willing her voice not to do anything embarrassing. “My mom asked me to direct a school play.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah,” Josie responds. “And I guess I just…” She pauses to collect her thoughts, and the auburnette raises her head to lock eyes with her. Josie almost wants to tell Hope to keep kissing her, but that seems a bit…I don’t know, desperate? “I’m just really busy right now, and directing a play sounds kind of overwhelming, so I decided that right now might not be the best time to take something like that on.”
“You said no?” Hope clarified, running her fingers across Josie’s hairline and tucking a strand behind her ear. Josie couldn’t help but lean into the touch.
“That’s the thing,” She replied, dropping her eyes to Hope’s bedspread and absently reaching up to fiddle with the collar of the other girl’s shirt. God, Hope was going to be so disappointed. “Apparently Dani wanted me to do it too, so...I caved.” She admitted quietly. “I knew it was a bad idea, and I still said yes. Even though I promised myself I was going to stop doing shit like this just to make other people happy.”
“Jo…” The tribrid whispered, urging her to look up at her. Josie just buried her head further into Hope’s chest instead.
“And now I’m just so fucking frustrated with myself, because-“ The siphon surprised herself by interrupting her sentence with a sob. “Dani’s been trying to get me to learn to say no to people all summer, and I really thought that I was done with being a fucking useless, codependent, people pleaser, and…” Another sob racks her body, tears that she didn’t even know she was shedding now soaking the collar of Hope’s shirt. “And even though I didn’t want to do a stupid play, I was still kind of okay with the idea because my mom said that she thought it might be good for me, and it was really nice that she was trying, but as soon as I said I would do the play she started talking about how much the school needed it.” Josie knows that her tearful ramble was probably bordering on incoherent at this point, but she really couldn’t bring herself to care. “I guess what my mom said hurt, but I don’t really care. I just hate myself for saying yes.” Josie admitted quietly.
“Josie, look at me.” The younger girl raises her head to meet Hope’s eyes and is stunned by the sincerity she finds in them. She almost looks like she could cry as well. “You’ve worked so hard all summer on learning to say no to people, and I’ve seen you improve so much.” Hope cups her jaw gently, as if to emphasize her point. “But progress isn’t linear, love. We all fall back into old patterns every once in a while, and it doesn’t mean we’ve failed, it just means we’re learning, right?” Josie shuts her eyes tightly, willing herself not to cry again, and gives Hope a small nod. “I’m so proud of you, Josie. And I really do think that this play could be a great opportunity for you.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, I do,” Hope says, softly. She’s always so damn soft with Josie. “You know I’ve loved spending the summer with you, and I know things have been really hard for you lately, but maybe it’s a good thing that you’ll have to spend some time with other people.” Josie couldn’t even try to disguise the hurt on her face. Was Hope sick of her? Maybe she felt like Josie was suffocating her, or keeping her away from the rest of her friends, or-
“Not that I want to stop spending time with you!” Hope added hurriedly. “It means the world to me that you trust me so much and I love having you around.” Josie breathed a sigh of relief at the reassurances. She didn’t know what she’d do if she lost Hope. “It’s just...You’ve hardly talked to anyone besides me since everything happened, and-”
“That’s not true, I talk to Lizzie.” The siphoner mumbled petulantly. Hope just raised a questioning eyebrow at her. “Sometimes.” She reluctantly amended.
“Everybody misses you, Jo. They’re worried about you.” Josie’s eyes fill with tears again at the statement. She knows it’s not true. “I know you think they see you as some kind of awful, irredeemable monster now, but they don’t. If anything, they blame themselves for not seeing what was going on sooner. And Clarke, for manipulating you.” Josie knows she should feel reassured to hear that people were on her side, but somehow, it just makes everything worse. She hurt people. She tried to kill Lizzie. She did kill Alyssa. And it’s not like she hadn’t done black magic before she met Clarke. She made all of those decisions of her own accord, and she deserved to be punished for what she’d done. They could hate her for the rest of her miserable life and she’d still feel like she deserved worse. She did deserve worse.
As Josie exhales, she’s overwhelmed by the familiar empty feeling in her chest, her head spinning ever so slightly as her body starts to numb. She focuses on the feeling of the fabric of Hope’s t-shirt clutched in her fist, Hope’s arms tightening around her waist, the distant sound of Hope’s voice, Hope’s distinct, indescribable scent, the warmth radiating off of Hope’s body. She brings herself back, just how Dani has practiced with her so many times, grounding herself in Hope.
“...and it’ll be a lot of work for you, I’m sure, so you’ll get to practice saying no to people and delegating.” Right, the play. They were talking about the play. Josie hummed absently in agreement. “Plus, it’ll be fun. And we both know you could use some fun in your life right now.” Hope gave her a small grin, which Josie couldn’t help but return.
You know, maybe Hope was right. Maybe this could be good for her.
“So, what play are we doing?” Josie asks. Hope’s face lights up when she realizes that Josie’s actually agreed.
(Not that Josie hadn’t agreed before, but at least now she seemed a bit more enthusiastic about the idea.)
“Wait, did you just say ‘we’?” Hope’s face drops from pure glee to a bit of what almost looks like fear.
“I did. If I’m doing this, you’re doing it with me.” Josie says with an amused lilt to her voice. Hope just groans dramatically and tries to hide her smile in the brunette’s hair. “Oh, come on, we both know you’re an amazing singer.” Hope immediately whips her head back to meet Josie’s eyes at that.
“Singer?” Hope hisses, looking almost horrified at the prospect of singing in front of the whole school. “I thought you said this was a play!”
“Actually, I was thinking of doing a musical instead,” Josie says with a smirk. “I think it would be really good for you. You know, help you build your confidence, put yourself out there a little more.” Hope rolled her eyes playfully at her own tactics being used against her.
“Screw you, Saltzman.” The tribrid replied with no real malice. “Then what musical are we doing?”
To be honest, Josie hadn’t really given it any thought yet. I mean, they could stick with something completely basic, like Wicked or Heathers. Those wouldn’t be too hard to pull off.
But Josie kind of wanted to make a statement. Wanted to do a musical that would mean something.
“Have you ever heard of The Prom?” Josie asked.
“Yes, I’ve heard of prom. I’m an introvert, not completely clueless.” Josie couldn’t help but giggle at that.
“No, not prom.” The tribrid squirmed underneath her as she playfully jabbed at her stomach. “The Prom. Like, the Broadway musical.”
“Oh. No, I haven’t.” Hope admits.
“Well, it’s a story about this girl named Emma, who lives in a small town in Indiana. She wants to go to prom with her girlfriend, Alyssa, but her girlfriend’s mom is the head of the PTA and she’s super homophobic, so she won’t let gay couples go.” Judging by Hope’s face, she’s already a bit lost. “The mom doesn’t know that Alyssa, her daughter, is gay, just that Emma wants to go with a girl. I don’t know, it’s a whole thing.” Josie adds. Hope just nods slowly, trying to process. “So then, some washed-up Broadway actors and their publicists decide to get involved to try to get attention for their ridiculous performative activism or whatever, but they actually end up getting invested in the situation and fix the whole thing, and Emma and Alyssa get to go to prom together.” Hope looks thoroughly confused at this point. “Don’t worry, it’ll make more sense once we start to work on it.” Josie reassures her. Hope remains silent for a long moment.
“So who am I going to play, your girlfriend?” Hope jokes. The siphoner really hopes that the room is dark enough to hide the deep blush that she can feel creeping across her cheeks.
“You would make a pretty good Alyssa, actually.” Josie mumbles shyly.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. Just ‘cause you’re a good singer and stuff.” Josie adds quickly.
“And stuff?” Hope questions, raising an inquisitive eyebrow. Josie’s face burns even more.
“Oh my god.” Josie whispers, burying her face in the crook of Hope’s neck.
“What stuff?” Hope teases, tickling her sides lightly. Josie squirms and bats her hands away.
“Go to sleep, Hope!” She squeaks, still hiding her face in embarrassment. The tribrid just chuckles again, pulling Josie even closer and pressing a kiss to her forehead. And yeah, if Hope doesn’t stop doing things to make Josie flustered right now, she swears she might actually combust.
“Goodnight, Jo.” Hope whispers, apparently ready to finally have mercy on the siphoner.
“Goodnight.”