Excuses and Confessions
“Huh-?” kanade stuttered, looking down at mafuyu’s thumb, which, as she said, did have a droplet of Kanade’s blood on it, though Kanade quickly wiped it off, making up a on-the-spot excuse, quickly blurting out word after word that just came to her head. “no no guys it’s fine, i just had a strawberry-flavoured energy drink yesterday, and a little bit of it just came up in some bile while i was on the toilet, it’s no worries! Really!”
Mafuyu then slowly let go of Kanade’s face, which kanade deep down was upset about, though she let it happen, with her moving herself back as well as to not make things uncomfortable, with Ena and Mizuki sitting themselves back down again as well, Len still looking up at the entire group from Kanade’s phone with worry.
“But Kanade, you look pale. Even paler than you normally do,"Mizuki spoke up after a few minutes in which the group just sat in silence, to which Ena and Mafuyu nodded in response.
“I just haven’t gone out in awhile, not since today,” Kanade excused, then spoke again just in case, at another attempt of convincing. “Plus, it’s been a bit colder lately, so i’ve left the blinds and everything shut to keep the heat in,”
No-one spoke afterwards.
After a few more moments, everyone started to slowly resume what they were up to before, with Mafuyu also making a little conversation with Len, having not seen him for awhile and all that.
After a little while, everything normal resumed, which Kanade thanked the high deities above for, and she also prayed to not stuff up again, which almost was inevitable, but praying was the best she could do.
Then thankfully to Kanade’s delight, everything continued like normal, even though she did cough every so often, it was becoming easier and easier to if she just avoided Mafuyu, even though that was something she admittedly really did not want to do, though if it was for the best and to help from niigo and a parkful of people from finding out about her little secret, she’d do it.
So Kanade basically only talked to Ena and Mizuki, sometimes Len, though she stayed clear of Mafuyu, which she hoped wouldn’t earn her a questioning later on.
That was until it did.
After everyone had packed up and Ena and Mizuki were heading back to Mizuki’s place and had already left, and as Kanade was about to, Mafuyu grabbed her gently by the wrist, prompting the other girl to turn around, giving a questioning look to the girl who stopped her.
After a few moments, Mafuyu then spoke. “Why did you.. Avoid me the whole time? When I pulled your face towards mine because you had a drop of whatever on the corner of your mouth after you came out of the toilet, you looked so lost in my eyes, but then after that broke apart you just.. Avoided me and didn’t even talk to me.?”
Hearing that, Kanade suddenly felt like she couldn’t speak.
Kanade then tried to get some reasoning out, but it all came in the form of stutters and half-formed words, to which after a minute or two, Mafuyu spoke up to.
“Kanade, just take it slow. You’ll figure out what you want to say quicker if you don’t rush. That’s what you told me once, was it not?”
“Y-yes, i did..” Kanade trailed, and it was true. One time when Mafuyu’d banished herself to the empty Sekai and not told anyone yet again, Kanade was the one who managed to find her, and when she tried to explain why, what just happened with Kanade happened with Mafuyu on that day.
After a few more moments, Kanade finally properly spoke up.
“I just.. I got so embarrassed about exactly what you said, I couldn't bare to do it again, so I avoided it, but at a stupid cost. I’m sorry.” Kanade lied but apologised, thankfully it was believable enough for Mafuyu to believe her, so she replied to kanade after a few moments.
“Okay, I understand. Thanks for explaining. Shall i see you on nightcord later then?” Mafuyu asked, prompting Kanade to reply.
“Yes, you shall,” Kanade answered, nodding to prove her statement. Mafuyu then returned her nod, and then turned and started walking in the opposite direction to Kanade, leaving for home.
After a few moments of watching Mafuyu walk off, Kanade followed suit in the opposite direction to Mafuyu, her heart heavy as she did so.
A few hours later, at around 11pm, Kanade pinged everyone in a message on their nightcord server, something that she knew mafuyu wouldn’t be too happy with her for, but it needed to be done.
K: <Sorry guys, but I don’t think i’ll be able to come on the call tn, I just really need to work hard on this melody>
Amia: <aww, bummer! It’s okay though, do what you need to>
Enanan: < ^^ what Amia said, but make sure to not overwork yourself, and take breaks>
K: <I will Enanan, don’t worry>
Yuki: < I agree with Enanan, please take care of yourself, K>
K: <I will, please don’t worry guys>
Kanade then closed Nightcord, guilt rising up with more choking coughs, to which more carnation petals came up and through her trachea, and as Kanade coughed them up and into her hands, she saw that even more and more purple was beginning to encroach on the edges of the petals, with Kanade softly leafing over them before throwing them into a bin bag next to her desk chair, along with all the other flowers and petals she’d thrown up recently.
For the next few nights, Kanade didn’t join any of the Nightcord calls, which just further worried the entire group, Mafuyu included. She’d gone to sekai a few times, and she thankfully from the help of the virtual singers, was now able to identify the feeling that made her chest tighten all the way back when she first saw the blood on Kanade’s hands.
And for the few days that Kanade basically ‘vanished,’ the feeling in Mafuyu’s chest only stayed, only slightly alleviating when she got a DM from Kanade or she messaged in the Nightcord server, with Kanade in turn feeling horrible for the abandonment she was doing, but in her opinion, it needed to be done.