Chapter 25
Clarke was awakened by loud hammering. She looked at the clock, it was already seven. Normally she would have showered by now and would be sitting at the breakfast table with Lexa or they would be on their way there, but after yesterday, she didn't feel like it and so she had turned off the alarm clock.
She didn't want to get up. She wanted to stay in this big and soft bed, maybe even until the end of her vacation. This emotional chaos was getting to her and she didn't know how to react. So she took the pillow and put it over her head, she didn't want to hear anything more. Nevertheless, she still heard this knocking and gradually it began to annoy her.
7:02AM.
Persistent. Whoever was standing in front of the door was really very persistent and probably wouldn't give up. So she got up without bothering to get ready and let her hair stand up as it was and opened the door.
She almost got hit on the head. Lexa had been so surprised that she had been able to stop knocking just in time.
She looked at Clarke with a slightly tilted head.
"Can we talk?"
The blonde stayed where she was and didn't let her through, but after the brunette gave her an exasperated look, she stepped aside. As soon as the door was closed, the actress continued talking.
"What's going on? Yesterday you went back to the hotel, even though we've always done that together for the last few weeks, and even before that you were dismissive. Did I do something and don't know?"
Somewhat defiantly, she looked at the brunette.
"I met Costia."
A little surprised, Lexa looked at her.
"Where?"
"Yesterday, on the set."
The brunette drew her eyebrows together.
"She told me what happened in the hotel room."
Guiltily, two green eyes looked at her.
"So it's true. You were kissing."
The woman addressed nodded slightly, even though it wasn't necessary. Pain flashed through Clarke.
"So you almost had sex then?"
"We got close yes, but I broke it off, it just didn't feel right."
"Why didn't you tell me about it? I thought we were friends?"
"We are. Believe me."
"That's not what it looks like right now. There's so much you didn't tell me. The thing with Costia and you having someone... She was more honest with me than you were, and I was hoping we'd moved on after the beach thing, but I guess I was wrong. You could have just told me that you forgave her and you're a couple now. I would have understood..."
"I lied..."
"About what?"
"I wanted Charles to stop asking and I just said I had someone. Yes, Costia and I talked, she got closer to me and I let it happen, even enjoyed it a bit. It was an old and very familiar feeling. She was my first love and maybe I had hoped to find again something I had lost. But the longer it went on, the more wrong it felt. I wanted to leave and I also told her that there would be no more us, even if she would have liked that. We don't have a future, but to figure that out, to get closure, I'm glad I met her again."
The two sighed.
"I have something else to tell you, while we're on the subject of being honest. I accepted the movie offer." She whispered it almost so softly Clarke couldn't hear.
"When are you leaving?"
"As soon as the film is shot."
Not 2 weeks later
Clarke went into Lexa's room, she was meditating in front of her bed. Eyes still closed, she opened them only when Clarke addressed her.
"When do I have to leave?" The meditator looked up at the blonde for a moment before lowering her gaze and rising from her cross-legged position.
"We may be leaving, but who says you can't come with us?" Her voice grew quieter and quieter before breaking a bit at the end. The usually confident Lexa looked uncertain, almost fearful of the answer that would immediately follow.
At that moment, Titu's voice rang out in the hallway.
"I could think of someone." Replied Clarke, causing the corners of Lexa's mouth to twitch slightly, a barely noticeable smile forming.
The door opened and Titus entered.
"Clarke, we will be leaving as soon as possible, a car is waiting to take you to the airport."
"I have invited Clarke to continue being my guest."
Titus looked at Lexa inscrutably and did not avert his gaze even as he addressed the next words to Clarke.
"Would you excuse us?"
The latter nodded and left the room.
"I beg you Lexa, remember what I taught you. Love is weakness. Remember what happened with Costia. Your feelings for Clarke could ruin everything you've worked so hard to build. You know how long it took you to deal with that betrayal. You almost broke from it. Send her home."
Lexa gave her manager a look that couldn't have been colder, and he understood that he had gone too far.
"Forgive me Lexa. I didn't mean to offend you."
"Yes, you did, but you also mean well and I know that."
"May I make arrangements for Clarke's departure?" Pleadingly, he looked at her.
"That's up to Clarke."
Some time later, Clarke went into Lexa's room again, but found no one there at first. She was walking toward and past the bed when Lexa turned a corner. Some time before, she had been showering, her hair loose and still damp.
The blonde stopped and her face clearly showed how guilty she felt. Lexa's look seemed troubled, she understood.
"When are you going to leave?" Her words were no more than a whisper.
"Now."
Lexa just nodded and Clarke stepped closer, closing the distance between them.
"I'm sorry." Seriously, she looked at the brunette.
"Don't be. You need to get back to your patients, to Bell and your friends." She swallowed deeply. "That's why Lie...that's who you are." Clarke looked at Lexa in surprise at her words.
"Someday the stars may align more favorably for us," was her response to the near confession.
Lexa smiled softly "Yes, I hope so." Her eyes shimmered wetly, more and more tears gathered in them
The brunette held out her hand to Clarke, who immediately took it.
"May we meet again." They looked deeply into each other's eyes, painfully the farewell could be seen in them.
At that moment Clarke's arm found her neck, pulled her to him and their lips met. Gently, shyly, as if she could destroy this moment, she pressed the brunette against her. Lexa broke away from Clarke briefly in surprise and a single tear found its way down her cheek. Disbelieving, she looked at the blonde. Searching for the answer to whether this was actually happening. Her lips trembled.
But right after, her lips found each other again, this time there was a little more passion in them, a desire to savor this moment. A longing that had been there for so long.
Clarke slid the straps of her dress down slightly and gently pushed her toward the bed. Lexa understood and sat down on it. Never once did they break eye contact. Lexa looked fragile, but her gaze was full of hope and as Clarke stood over her like this, she wished for only one thing, that she would never have to let go of her again. Her heart was beating faster and faster, fervently hoping it wouldn't be noticed. She pulled Clarke to her and let herself slide backwards. She didn't let go of the blonde and together they lost themselves in a kiss.
Lexa lay in bed with her back to Clarke, enjoying the gentle caresses on her arm.
"If I still want to catch my flight..."
"Shhh." She interrupted the brunette beauty.
"Can we talk about something else?" asked Lexa Clarke, turning to face her. She didn't want to think about her departure. She wanted to enjoy the now, for so long she wished she could be this close to her.
"We don't have to talk at all," Clarke replied cheekily, earning the most adorable smile in the world in return, and while Lexa was still smiling, she leaned over to Clarke and kissed her again. Finally she laid herself over the blonde and began to explore her body.
Clarke was sound asleep when suddenly Lexa's cell phone vibrated, indicating a call from Titus. She spoke with him briefly and arranged to meet him in his room. She dressed quickly and went to him, not without casting one last, tender glance back to the bed.
"No sooner were you with Clarke than you forget everything I taught you!" Upset, he stood in front of her
"Stop Titus. Stop it! It's my decision. My life!"
"This will be the end of your career! Then what was all the effort for? You've been this far before. You almost broke from it! It took weeks, no months, after that for you to get ready to even audition again!"
"Clarke is not Costia! So stop comparing her to her!"
"If you come out now, you'll never get another job, or just the same ones, if any. Then there will be no more travel, no more luxuries."
"I will and this discussion is over now!"
Lexa disappeared out the door and joined Clarke in her hotel room, not realizing they had been eavesdropping the entire time. That person made a momentous decision.
Clarke stepped out of the actress' room after a few hours of togetherness, smiling and more overjoyed than she had been in years. She had finally found her home after never looking for it. Suddenly she stopped. A gun was pointed at her. She raised her hands defensively, not knowing what to do.
"Costia... what are you doing?"
The latter smiled viciously.
"Sorting out a problem."
"What did I do to you?"
"You're risking her career, and the one person she should be doing this for is standing in front of you. Once you're gone, she'll turn back to me."
She already had her finger on the trigger and Clarke could follow every movement closely, but the shot that now followed did not come from her gun. Titus was standing away from the two and had fired, but missed his target. Costia jumped to the side and the blonde also sought cover, he shot again and again until he hit his target or at least someone. But it was neither Costia nor Clarke, it was Lexa who had come out of her room because of the noise and had promptly been hit.
Disgusted, he let the gun slide to the floor and rushed to his charge, Clarke following and Costia taking the opportunity to escape. He had hit the brunette near her heart. She was losing a lot of blood. Too much blood.
"Call an ambulance already!" The blonde ordered the bald manager, which he did, coming out of his shock stupor.
"And I need something to stop the bleeding!"
Gently, the doctor stroked her patient's hair and held her hands.
"Stay with me," she whispered, "I still need you."
Gently, she smiled at Lexa and pressed on the wound.
"Don't be afraid." Said the latter only.
"You'll be fine." Said the blonde as gently and lovingly as she could.
"She's losing too much blood," Clarke said to Titus before turning to Lexa. "Don't you dare give up."
"I won't."
"I need you in my life. I just want you."
The brunette smiled as of those words, but already seemed distant.
"You're right, Clarke. Life is about more than just survival."
At that moment the actress' heart stopped beating.