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Trigger Warnings:- Contains conversations about incest and sexual abuse.
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“Bella said Angie should be back soon.” Bette Porter reassured her ex-wife, new fiancée, the love of her life. The night before had been a night of ups and downs. First finding out about Angie and her professor, the argument that ensued, their proposal and then Tina’s breakdown when they got home. The breakdown which resulted in them being here now. Tina sitting on Angie’s bed and Bette pacing the small space between Angie and Bella’s beds.
“I know.” Tina was a nervous wreck. So much had happened over the last 24 hours and it had left her drained, anxious and worried. Bette had been right about Angie being at the age where she’s starting to push them away and growing up. Even though she is growing up she’s still their baby. Tina doesn’t want their argument to drive a wedge between them. She isn’t sorry she defended Angie at her school reading, she’d do it again in a heartbeat but she is sorry about the way she did it.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Bette asked, moving to sit next to Tina and taking her hand. “I’m sure we can figure this out without telling her everything.” She’d been surprised when, after finally getting about 2 hours sleep last night, Tina had told her she needed to explain to Angie why she had acted the way she did.
“I think this is the best way.” It had been a tough decision to make. Only Bette knew the whole story of her childhood. She’d never felt the need to tell anyone else. It was something that had haunted her her whole adult life and it wasn’t something she wanted to keep rehashing but she thought it was the best way to explain her reaction to everything. “I just hope she’ll stay long enough to listen.”
Bette chuckled. “She is a little stubborn.”
Resting her head on Bette’s shoulder, Tina agreed. “She’s definitely your daughter.”
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They weren’t sitting there much longer before the door finally opened and Angie walked in. “What the hell are you doing here?” She asked when she spotted her Mothers sitting on her bed.
“I needed to apologise for last night.” Tina stood up but moved away from Angie towards the window. “I won’t apologise for defending you but I never wanted to embarrass you.”
“What did you expect would happen when you jumped up and started shouting at my professor?” Angie asked, wrapping her arms around herself but not moving from her spot “Did you expect me to be happy?”
“To be honest, I wasn’t thinking.” Tina admitted. “Shane told us that he was your ex and even though Bella neither confirmed nor denied it verbally, her reaction did. I just saw red.”
“Honey, your Mom knows her reaction was extreme and she’d like to explain why.” Bette spoke up, hoping she could get Angie to calm down enough to listen while Tina composed herself enough to start her story. “Will you please sit down and listen to what she has to say?”
Angie looked from one Mom to the other before moving to sit on Bella’s bed. “Ok, I’m listening.”
“T, come and sit down.” Bette held her hand out and waited until Tina took it before gently pulling her down to sit next to her. Squeezing her hand tightly to remind her she was there and that they were in this together.
“I’m telling you this because I want you to understand, not because I want your sympathy. Ok?” Tina explained.
“Ok. Can you get on with it then?” Angie said impatiently.
“Angelica. Please” Bette snapped. “This is really hard for your Mom so give her a minute.”
Angie raised her right eyebrow in typical Tina fashion. It was then she realised this was going to be an intense conversation. Not something she had expected when she walked back to her dorm room today. “Sorry.”
“I know we’ve spoken briefly about my family.” Tina started. “I told you I haven’t had contact with any of them since I moved to LA. My Mom died just after I graduated college. I haven’t seen my father since I was a kid. I haven’t heard anything about my brother and sister in a long time.”
“Yeah I remember.” Angie assured her.
“I never really went into detail about my upbringing and I'm not going to get too into it now but it has a lot to do with my reaction last night.” Tina squeezed Bette’s hand before letting go and standing back up. “Sorry honey, I need to stand.”
Bette smiled at her, remembering back to when Tina had told her this story. She couldn’t sit still then either. “It’s ok T. Just take your time.”
“My parents were never really there for us kids when we were growing up. My dad was off having affairs and my mother was pretty closed off. She knew about the affairs and put up with them mostly until my father refused to give up one of his women. She moved us away from him and started to work more to support the four of us.”
Bette watched anxiously as Tina walked over the window and stared out across the university courtyard, rubbing the back of her neck. She wanted to walk over and offer her silent support but she knew Tina wanted to do this on her own.
“I was the middle child. My sister was 8 years older than me. She still lived at home so she looked after us while Mom worked. Everything was fine at first but as I got older she started to change. When I was 11, she convinced me to play a new game. She wanted to ‘role-play’, as she called it.” Tina paused and took a deep breath. “I was too young to understand that what was happening was wrong. I thought it was something all kids did. It was only when she moved out and got married that I found out that it wasn’t. I had to go and see a therapist after my mother died to realise that my sister had been sexually abusing me for 3 years. Back then she had me convinced that it was something I wanted to do. Even when I found out it was wrong, I never really understood it was abuse.”
Angie was too shocked to say anything, so she just looked at Bette who was clenching her hands together while looking at Tina. Finally Bette looked over at Angie and nodded her head, confirming what Tina was saying. It had broken her heart the first time she’d heard Tina tell the story shortly after Jenny had died. Telling the police back then had brought it all back and Tina had broken down while telling her. It had been the first time she’d seen Tina like that since she’d discovered Bette’s affair with the carpenter.
“It’s affected so much of my life without me actually realising it. Running away became my way of protecting myself.” Tina finally turned around and looked at Angie. “There was no-one there to protect me. I can’t stand the thought that I wasn’t there to protect you.”
It explained a bit about Tina’s reactions to a lot of things over the last couple of years. Running away from them when things started to get difficult. Even her relationship to Carrie to an extent. Carrie was ‘safe’. Angie stood up and walked over to her Mom, wrapping her in a hug. “I love you, Mom.”
Bette got up and walked over and pulled them both in a hug. “We both love you.”
Tina put one arm around Angie and the other around Bette. “I love you both.” She drew them in closer. “I’m really sorry about last night, Angie.”
Pulling away slightly to look Tina in the eye, Angie smiled briefly. “I understand your reaction, Mom but this isn’t the same thing.” Letting go of her parents she moved away. “I went after him before I knew he was a professor. As soon as he found out I was his student he broke it off.”
“He did?” Bette asked. Shane had told her about Angie’s brief relationship but after finding out he was her professor she assumed Angie was the one who had ended it.
“Yes.” Angie reassured her. “He resigned last night too.”
Tina actually felt relieved about that, although she wouldn’t say it out loud. Hopefully if he wasn’t working at the school Angie could move on with someone closer to her own age. It was pretty obvious Bella had a thing for her daughter and Tina could definitely get behind that relationship.
“Maybe that's for the best.” Bette said. “Whether anything happened after he found out you were a student or not, it would have gotten out eventually. Things like that always do.” She’d had her own experience with that. Although she had no intention of telling Angie about that. “You should be hanging out with kids your own age honey. You are still very young and he’s a fully grown adult man. They have expectations.”
“I know that Mom and that might be true but being with him felt right.” Angie wasn’t going to let on that she’d gone to him last night and they’d slept together.
Tina moved her left hand to Angie’s face and held it gently. “Honey, at your age all relationships feel right. It doesn’t mean they are.”
“I know.” Angie agreed, bringing her hand up to cover her Mom’s. Pulling it away when she made contact with the newly placed engagement ring. “Oh my god.” She looked at the ring and then at Bette. “When did this happen?”
Bette smiled while looking over at Tina. “Last night. I had planned to ask your Mom at the restaurant but that kind of fell apart.”
“I asked her instead.” Tina chuckled. “I didn’t have a ring though.”
“Sooo….” Angie moved to her bed, pulling Bette and Tina along with her. They all sat down with Angie in the middle. “Tell me what happened.”
“Do you want to tell her?” Tina looked at Bette who looked so pleased with herself it made her giggle.
“Why don’t you tell her.” Bette reached her hand around Angie and gripped Tina’s shoulder gently. “But first I would really like it if you agreed to apologise to Shane, Angie. She’s been there for you nearly every day of your life. There was no need to be so disrespectful to her last night. She didn’t do anything wrong.”
Angie looked down at her hand. She knew as soon as she walked away from Bella last night that she’d been harsh with everyone but especially Shane. “I will, I promise. I need to apologise to Bella too. I wasn’t very pleasant to her either.”
“Good.” Bette moved her arm from Tina’s shoulder and wrapped it around Angie, pulling her into her side. “And don’t ever feel like you can’t talk to us, honey. We might not always understand at first but we’ll get there in the end.”
“I promise to try.” Angie agreed. At 18, there were just some things you didn’t want to share with your parents. “Now come on Mom, tell me about this ring.”
“Well we went to that burger place just around the corner.” ……
The End