Abandonment and Exile

Moony was pacing up and down the common room, nervous, restless. This would be the very first full moon of actually being free, being out, not being locked up. The idea alone was exhilerating but also terrifying.

"Moony, calm your arse down. I get it, you’re nervous, but you’re distracting. Go talk to Snatcher or something, please. I love you, but gods you’re riling me up too. I need to go talk to Scabior, behave please?” 

Moony snapped out of it and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, sure" 
He walked over to Regulus and out his head on top of Regulus' in a half affectionate gesture
"Love you to. Stay Safe tonight, yes?"
Moony didn't like that they couldn't be around Regulus tonight, but it had to be, of course. 

He left to go look for Snatcher, knowing that Sybill, Xeno and Laslow had left hours ago already and Dorcas was still with Marlene. Snatcher had not been around all day, it was as if he had vanished. That hadn't really helped his anxiety all too much.

Moony walked outside for a while until he spotted Snatcher in the distance, finally, after having checked the forest a few times that day. Had he just appeared? What was he, a bloody wizard?

As he approached, Snatcher didn't seem to notice and a smirk spread across Moony's face as an idea started forming in his mind. One that was probably really stupid and slightly childish, but that idea won. He sneaked up behind him and jumped on his back with a yell to scare him.

“That was pathetic, you could do better.” Snatcher spoke calmly, shaking off Moony, causing him to land uncomfortably on the ground
“I knew you were there. Be quieter next time, and control your breathing. Then maybe you can spook me, but be ready for a fight if you do.” 

He took a good look at Moony after moving him off of his back. Moony was shaky, had his arms wrapped around himself as if he was cold, but it was more in a gesture of comfort for himself.
“Full moon getting to ya, hm?” 

This was the softest Snatcher had ever spoken to him and under any other circumstance Moony would have snapped, but right now he really didn't register that change in tone. He just listened to the corrections with as much consciousness as he could.
"A bit..." he mumbled, not wanting to admit it, but it seemed quite obvious to Snatcher.

“Me too.” Snatcher agreed, surprsingly 
“I always get more territorial and sentimental near this time” He laughed. 
“It ruins the image I have of myself, so the days after I’m a pain for Scabior, and likely you too.” 

Moony couldn't help but chuckle at least a little bit at that, Snatcher's confession making him feel slightly better about his situation.
"It's my first full moon out" he sighed "like...ever."

“I know,” Snatcher nodded, “You’re going to feel so free later.”
"Of course you know" Moony mumbled to himself "And I take your word for that" he smirked up at Snatcher, his attitude coming back just a little bit as he started to feel more comfortable.
Snatcher chuckled, “Good, means we can have some fun.” 

Moony nodded and looked up into the sky. The sun had pretty much set but not really, the sky was this weird grey-ish yellow it sometimes got, as if the sky couldn't decide on night or day.

-----------

Scabior was sitting in his office. He had talked to Snatcher hours ago and wished him a successful full moon, knowing his mate loved to hunt. It would just be a matter of getting Moony to join this time. Now, he just waited for Regulus, knowing there was a lot to teach him and a lot he had to have questions about. Scabior didn't know how much he could tell him, but he would do his best.

Regulus enters Scabior’s office quietly, not wanting to disturb him. He stands by the door and says a small hello before sitting down in a chair. 
Scabior put his book down and smiled. 
"Hello Regulus. Would you like anything to drink?" 

Regulus stiffened, thinking back to the blood incident. He hadn't drank any since he killed Walburga, so it was tempting to ask for some. He had been craving it. 
“Water, please.” He answered. He didn't want to drink blood again, as delicious as it was. 

Scabior nodded, his eyes seeming to look right through Regulus and his thought, but he got a bottle of water and a glass, placing it in front of Regulus.
"How are you doing? Worried about Moony?"

“Merci,” He thaned, taking a sip of water, “I am worried about him, yes. I don’t like being away from them. I’m closer to Remus than Moony, but I care about them both a lot.” 
He fidgeted with his thumbs though both of his hands are holding his glass of water. He was very hungry. 

"Snatcher is going to take care of him, of both of them. As much as no one can believe - and as much as he would hate me telling you - he gets soft around full moons, especially with those he cares about. And he cares about Remus and Moony a lot"

Scabior looked at the book he had read until Regulus walked in and slid it across the desk "You don't have to read it now, but I feel like this would benefit you to read. And of course, any questions you have you can ask me"

The Encyclopedia of Infernalism the title read. It was a green book with golden letters, simple and with few decoration on the cover. The book was huge, more than a thousand pages most likely.

"It isn't all about vampires, there is also some chapters about demons and dragons in there, but most of it deals with our kind"

Regulus just nodded along with what Scabior said and grabbed the book too quickly for it to not be considered eager. 
“…Thank you.” He mumbled. He had been dying to learn more about how his body worked, and this book was huge so he was going to have a very good time reading it. Plus it was gorgeous to look at. 

He sat in silence for a minute, “Um, Scabior, do you happen to know who turned Sirius and I by chance? I asked Sirius and he didn’t know either, but I can’t recall being bit by anyone. I just have so many questions.” 

Scabior sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose as if he had a headache "I knew you would ask and I was scared you would at the same time. Yes I do know. Sirius, you, Marlene, almost even James. You were all turned by the same person."

Scabior got up and walked to the window behind him. It was almost completely dark, he could clearly see the places the moon illuminated. Not long now until the wolves would transform. Gods he hoped that Snatcher and Moony were alright.

"He's one of the possibly strongest vampires I had the displeasure of crossing in my considerably long life. His name is Tom Riddle, he seems to try and gather the most influential children he can find. He has not succeeded many times, but a considerable amount of tries he did turn people and later seized of control of them." 

He paused for a moment, seeming to think "Which is why I am glad you are here. He won't dare to even consider coming near this place, not while I am here. At least that is our experience so far."

Regulus took in that information, but doesn’t say anything. Tom Riddle, huh? He had never heard the name. He sounded like someone Orion and Walburga would have gotten along with, though. How was it that Regulus and Sirius grew up like human children if they were immortal? 

"You age normal until a certain point, like...early twenties." Scabior answered the unspoken question "It's a question most have when they find out." Considering that Scabior looked well into his thirties...yes he was old. "Do you have any other questions?" this question was genuine, he seemed willing to answer anything.

“It’s like you just read my mind-“ Regulus mumbled, a bit startled. “I think this book can answer my questions pretty well but I can’t think of anything right now.” 
Scabior nodded "If you want you can stay here and read for a while and you can ask any questions you have. You don't have to be alone tonight that way. It was quite difficult for me the first few full moons with Snatcher"

Regulus stopped thinking, it didn’t even cross his mind that he could stay here for the night. He had been fully prepared to leave as soon as he was done talking, out of habit. 
“…I’ll do that. Thank you.” 

"Of course. I understand. If you need anything, don't hesitate, yes? I'll be here waiting for the boys to return anyways." Scabior nodded.
Regulus nods and opens the book. It book instantly grabbed Regulus’ attention, speaking of vampires origins. They were born from demons and humans eons ago, that makes a lot of sense.

"People say we come from the very first sinner, Cain. That's why we are called Cain's Children sometimes" Scabior said after a long time of silence, finding that piece of trivia worth knowing.
Regulus looked up from the book, “That makes sense. Like, honestly. If he was the first murderer and had children with a demon then it makes sense that we’re literally blood thirsty.” He nodded and went back to reading. 

“Do you think we could have some hot chocolate?” He asked. He missed Moony, worrying for him a bit and he wanted to avoid blood for as long as he could. 
"Of course. Do you want to come to the kitchen with me or do you want to wait here?" Scabior closed his book and stood up.
“I’ll come with.” Regulus decided, also closing his book and standing up.

As Scabior made the hot chocolate, he watched Regulus closely out the corner of his eye. "Would you forbid yourself from drinking water because you need it to survive?" He suddenly asked.
Regulus immediately stiffend at the question, confused about it at first but then realizign what Scabior was hinting at.

Was it that obvious he wasn’t letting himself eat? He looeds down at his hands and saw that they were shaking, and he had been craving some warm blood for the past few days they had been here. He was making his body forget about the taste. 

“…No, but you don’t understand .” He replied, “I can’t drink anymore.”
Scabior turned around and put his hands on Regulus' shoulders. "I understand. I believe there are very few of us who had an easy time in the beginning. But it will only hurt you and with that everyone around you."

Scabior sighed "I won't force you to do anything, but you know you can always ask"
Regulus pondered that for a moment.  “It will hurt others if I don’t? Does that mean I could accidentally eat someone?” He whispered, horrified. 
“Like I did that palace guard?” 

"You'll just get really insufferable. Like...more than you already are sometimes" Scabior joked, causing Regulus to laugh sarcastically. 
"And of course that risk is there, but not with us. We'll maybe James but appart from that, none of us are human. Just like a werewolf is highly unlikely to attack anyone not human or prey, we wouldn't either."

---------------

Moony was sitting leaned against a tree, fidgeting. The more the night progressed, the more anxious he got but, weirdly, the calmer Snatcher seemed to get. More natural, somehow.

He was breathing in the crisp air as the night got colder. It wouldn't be long now, Snatcher could feel his bones singing to the moon. But he could also sense Moony being restless as hell. 
“Kid, you’re going to be fine. There’s no chains around here, and I’ve got you.” 

"Yeah." Moony just responded, trying to calm himself down but getting more annoyed that comforted by those words. At least he had his attitude back, maybe a little too much though. The moon was already illuminating the clearing so it was a matter of minutes, maybe a quarter of an hour now.

“Okay, since we’re so close to the moon showing, we’re going to stretch. Make fun of it and complain all you want, but it will help with the pain.” 
Moony actually did make fun of it but he did do what Snatcher told him, trusting him. And it got his mind of things, which wouldn't be too bad.

Snatcher just laughed at Moony’s antics, making the young wolf roll his eyes, and finally the moon became uncovered by the clouds. 
“Here we go.” he sighed, comforting Moony but not very helpfully so.

Moony would never get used to the pain. Ever. It felt like being torn apart from the inside out, akin to the torture curse put on him back in the castle. 
But once the pain was gone, unlike before, he actually felt clear, there was no more pain, no fear. It startled him, visibly so.

In comparison, Snatcher underwent his wolf form fairly easily and waited for Moony to get used to his sharpened senses. He huffs an acknowledgement to him once he stopped whining and gestures for him to follow him. 

Moony did follow - more or less. He was delighted at how good he felt and how clear his sense were, so he would occasionally run further, waiting for Snatcher. He was like a child almost, excited and wild.

Eventually, Moony knew he was far out of sight from Snatcher. If he played it well, he could actually scare Snatcher this time.
So he hid behind a bush that had such a strong smell that it made him dizzy, knowing it would conceal his smell. And when Snatcher passed him, he jumped out, at him, landing on the wolf's back.

Snatcher growled and threw Moony off, getting a scratch in before realizing who it was, growling again as a warning.
Moony winced in pain a bit but he couldn't help but be absolutely ecstatic. He had managed to scare Snatcher, actually scare him. And with a bit of luck, there would be a scar left that would aid him in forever reminding Snatcher of that.

However, there wasn't much time to bask in that glory when they spotted a small herd of deer to their right. In the distance, Moony saw the three others.
It was nice, they were all together. Remus would probably have the urge to kill him for all the blood he was about to wake up in within the next few hours, but Moony didn't mind. 

He had never been able to hunt before and the feeling of hunting with the pack was not compareable to anything. It felt good to let the instincts take over. The pack was safe. The pack was family. The pack was home.

Snatcher, Moony, and the rest of the pack laid down for a while after their hunt and enjoyed the stars and the moonlight inbetween the trees. Snatcher was actually close to falling asleep. It felt complete having him here.
The three others left eventually to do what ever it was they were doing and it was just Moony and Snatcher again.

There was already some light in the sky, no sun, just a sky that wasn't as dark as before. They would soon transform back and that was the moment Fenrir and Remus would immediately snap into control, leaving the wolves time to rest.

-------

"Give them at least two or three more hours until they come back. They need time to reorientate and well" Scabior chuckled "I have a few suspicions"  
They had walked back to the office and were now sitting together again "Oh and well...someone is almost destined to have gotten lost again, but that is normal. It is usually Vincent or Xenophilius"

Regulus sighed in relief at the mention of the wolves transforming back soon. Scabior likely had a lot of experience with them, so he trusted that information. 
“Do they really get lost that often? I thought that packs stay together?” He mused aloud. He hoped Moony didn’t get lost, but Snatcher likely wouldn’t allow that. Moony was new after all. 

"They do stay together, yes, but just in their general location. Xenophilius, Vincent and Sybill tend to stay a little off to the side, on their own. They will join into any hunts though" Scabior smiled "Don't worry about Moony, he'll be fine. Snatcher is taking care of him, he promised"

“Oh, okay,” Regulus nodded. “I’m glad Snatcher is there.” Remus trusting him meant that he did too.
Scabior nodded and sat down in his own chair again "I would give them...another two hours. If you want to, get comfortable, I will wake you once they come back. My office is Fenrir's first stop after any full moon, so he would surely drag Remus along."

“I’m not sleepy so I can stay up with you,” Regulus stated. “I’ll just read over here in my corner, if that’s okay..?” 
"Of course that's okay, what ever feels best for you" Scabior nodded calmly "I'm here when you need me"
Regulus relaxed at Scabior saying that. He kept expecting Scabior to turn around and hate him. It was annoying, and it made him feel vulnerable and stupid. 

“….Thank you.” He mumbled.
"of course, kid. You're safe here now, you have a family with us" Scabior calmly said, smiling
Regulus nodded and looked down at his book to stop himself from making eye contact with Scabior. He curled up in his corner with the book on his knees, making himself small. It was a habit and it was comfortable.

-------

Moony felt the same burning feeling of the transformation as the sun finally started to show. In a way, he did not want this to be over yet. It had been fun, it had been calming as well and actually...he enjoyed being around Snatcher. But now it was Remus' turn again and he had to accept that.

And accepting it made it much more easier, for both of them. Remus had a much easier time regaining consciousness, although Fenrir was already sitting leaned against the nearest tree when he did.

Fenrir noticed that Remus was back, and he stands up to help him up off the ground.  “How was your first full moon, pup?” He asked, most likely knowing Snatcher’s experience since they were together.
“You did well.” 

Remus relaxed at the praise.  
He did well. He did well
"It was...different...I feel...better?" He was half leaning against Fenrir, not ready to stand on his own yet

“That’s good! It means that Moony feels safer than he’s used to so your body isn’t going to attack itself as much.” 
"Mhm..." Remus head was still feeling kind of weird and he kind of out his head against Fenrir's shoulder.  It felt good, being close to him. It made him feel safe, a safety he had never known but always sought.

He never wanted to leave the pack, leave Fenrir's side, ever again, it made him feel better than he ever had before, as if he finally had a family. And somehow, he felt himself always being pulled towards Fenrir. No matter what he struggled with, it wad Fenrir who he would go looking for.

"We’re going to sit out here a while longer so our bodies can calm down, and then we can go inside.”
Remus relaxed and sat down with Fenrir, actually leaning against him now. It was as if he was able to read Remus' thoughts, it was crazy.

Do you trust him now?
I...I do. I trust him. He could take care of you...of us

Moony sounded genuine for maybe the first time and it made Remus smile a little.
Fenrir and Remus just sat there for a long time, but eventually Fenrir got up but gently removed Remus’ head from his shoulder before he did. 

“I want to get up and walk around, I’m getting restless. Do you want to join me?” He asked, tilting his head to the side and looking at Remus. 
Remus had half dozed of from how comfortable he had felt, when Fenrir removed his head from his shoulder. He quickly gathered his thoughts

"Sure, why not" he nodded, getting up, following next to Fenrir as he started walking
“This is really just a patrol check since Snatcher did it earlier and now it’s my turn. I feel better guarding my territory, especially since my mate and the kids are back at the cabin.” Fenrir said in passing, just talking to talk.  “It makes me feel like I’m being the protector I am. I would go to war for all of you.” 

Remus simply nodded along, noticing that Fenrir was also just trying to calm down.
Hey...Remus? Can you...Please tell him something?
why don't you?
I- eh. Just...tell him I appreciate what he is doing for you, no, for us. And that I do accept him

Remus shook his head and chuckled. Moony usually played the big bad wolf, he could have the balls to back it up for once.
"Fenrir? I think Moony has a thing or two to say and I really wouldn't appreciate playing messenger"

“Oh, okay.” Fenrir nods. “I’m listening whenever you’re both ready.” 
it was surprisingly hard, since it was so shortly after the full moon, to get Moony into control, even with both of them wanting to. But it worked, somehow, and he stood there, hands in his pockets, fumbling for words.

"I...Thank you. For...what you do for us...for...keeping us safe...for...being there for us" He took a deep breath, tearing his eyes off the ground, looking at Fenrir 
"I...I accept you, I do..." his voice cracked from how soft he spoke.

He trusted Fenrir, he respected him. But he couldn't say that, it was hard to say out loud. He would, eventually, but not now, not here.
Fenrir smiled a warm smile.

“I’m glad you accept me, I accept you too. You are family. Both of you. I will always be here, even after I’m gone. Right here.” He put his hand to Moony’s chest. 
“The pack is here.” he paused to let that sink in. 
“Thank you for telling me how you feel, I appreciate it. You have a home here.” 

Moony nodded, kind of obviously keeping himself from crying.
"Yes...the...the pack is family it...it's...it feels...safe?" it still felt strange to him, safety, what a weird feeling. Not having to be aware of everything at all times was strange it he sometimes fell back into that habit, but much much less around the pack.

He had started to get along very well with Laslow specifically, the two of them would just sit in - more or less - quiet together and do their own thing, until one of them had to do some kind of chore or go into the town with Scabior to shop.

In all of Moony's words and acts there was another message, a deeper one, one that Fenrir surely understood. He wanted to be part of the pack, and Remus too. Else, Moony wouldn't have said anything. They had started to get along well now and they actually communicated.

“It’s okay to cry, pup. You don’t have to hold it in.” Fenrir stated in passing, this was an emotional moment after all. 
“Are you saying that you want to be part of the pack…officially? Do you know what that entails, little one?” Fenrir asked. 

Moony looked up only with only his eyes, wiping away some tears and blood from his face as he nodded. "Remus wants, too...but I think you...you know that, he just...waited for me to be okay with...everything"
Fenrir's eyes wandered to the the faded bite mark on Moony’s shoulder, nodding. “If you do this, there’s no going back. You will be part of the pack for life. Are you certain?” 

It took a second before he got an answer, but it came from Remus "I am...we are both. This is the safest we have ever felt and it's everything we ever wanted. Regulus is here, you are here, the pack is the one family we ever had, the one group of people that never even dared to think of leaving us once. It feels good to be here. I would like to make it clear once and for all"

“Okay, kiddo.” Fenrir started with a smile. “This is going to hurt, but give you a euphoric feeling afterwards, same with any bond you make.” He said, voice coming out at his and Snatcher’s. 

“To be honest, we’ve wanted to do this since you showed up in the tavern. As you know, you are the entire reason we stayed in France in the first place. There’s a reason for that. You are a bond we were never able to finish, and it is an honor that you are letting us do this.” 

They put their hands on Remus’ arms. They were both leaning over Remus’ shoulder ready to bite down, however they must ask again. 
“Are you absolutely certain that this is what you want?” Snatcher and Fenrir asked, giving Moony and Remus an out of they need it. 

Can they just get it on with already? Moony grumbled and Remus chuckled a little bit, mostly from the adrenaline in their veins.
"Yes, yes we are. A thousand percent" he nodded

At Remus’ confirmation, Snatcher smirked in satisfaction and Fenrir smiled in happiness. They leaned back in and put their mouth over the faded mark on Remus’ shoulder. They both smelled sweaty due to the transformation earlier, but that was fine. 

Fenrir bit down, immediately breaking skin with the force he used. He had gotten used to the smell of blood but the taste was always a shock to the taste buds. He held his teeth in the wound for a few seconds before pulling off and licking it.
“Welcome home, son.” 

Remus sank against Fenrir, his head spinning. The pain was sharp and radiated through his neck, head and shoulder, down to his chest, but after a couple of seconds that felt way too long, it was gone entirely.
His head was most swimming from his disoriented and out of it he felt, but not in a bad way, not a bad way at all. He felt happy, genuine happiness. Fenrir had proven that he wanted them around, it was the best feeling he had known so far.

Fenrir chuckled at Remus sinking against him and started petting his hair. “It feels good, doesn’t it?”
"Mhm" Remus nodded sloppily, basking in the feeling for a while. Even Moony had shut up, probably feeling a similar feeling. It took a good half hour until he was actually fully there although he had been lucid much before that.

The sun was now much higher in the sky and birds were singing, it wasn't as cold anymore. Remus would have guessed that it was around 7 in the morning and surprisingly - or maybe not - he didn't feel an ounce of tiredness.

“Buna dimineata, Remus.” Fenrir said as a greeting, 
“You were out of it for a while. We should head back, I’m sure Scabior, Regulus, and the others are ready to see us again. Your brothers and sisters are probably back already.” 

Remus nodded with a smile "You're right. Also...I'm freezing" he chuckled, getting up with Fenrir while they walked back to the cabin. Remus knew the way they were taking, mostly because of how often Moony had to walk it. Scabior's office. Of course, it made sense. Regulus would perhaps be there too.

--------

Scabior was standing at the window with a cup on tea in hand. "Ah, there they are." he chuckled, turning to look at Regulus "Are you alright?"

Regulus stood up so fast that he got dizzy and tripped, but he manages to nod. “Yes, I’m alright.” He replied. He’s just excited to see Remus again. 

The door opened and the two of them walked in. Scabior took one look at Remus and shook his head, chuckling quietly. His eyes fell on Fenrir and he raised an eyebrow.

There was blood on Remus, his clothes were partially torn, he was dirty, but what he had noticed most was his pupils that were so dialated that his eyes seemed almost Black. Remus immediatly walked over to Regulus, resting his head on his boyfriends shoulder.

"I missed you" He whispered
Regulus stiffens at the smell and sight of blood on Remus. 
“I missed you too.” he said softly, while moving Remus’ shirt and seeing the fresh bite mark. Fenrir did that, and it was recent too from the looks of it. About half an hour ago. Part of him is territorial about it, but he had a feeling of what it was for. 

“Are you officially part of the pack now?” He asked. 
"Mhm" Remus nodded with a smile, pressing his face more into Regulus' shirt. "I love you" he whispered. He had really missed Regulus during the full moon but he understood that it wouldn't have been beneficial 

"Are you alright? What did you do while we were gone?" He asked, genuinely interested
“I love you too,” Regulus whispered. He hadn't been able to say it with confidence since that first time, it felt too stiff. He thought it all the time, but it was different saying it. Those three words were something he was not used to saying, and plus what he felt for Remus was much stronger than those words could express. 

“I’m okay….” Regulus started “I read up on vampires while you were gone, and I talked to Scabior about my issues with eating. Blood specifically. It was difficult and I haven’t even told you about it….I’m sorry.”  “But we had hot chocolate and waited for you and Fenrir. I needed to stay here until I saw you again, I couldn’t sleep knowing you’re out there. I knew you were safe but….” he drowned off, feeling ridiculous. 

Remus looked up, carefully placing a hand on Regulus' cheek "Hey, it's alright. You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to tell me, and honestly, Scabior was the best person to go to with that. At least he can help you." Remus kissed Regulus very softly, just for a second 

"Do you want to sleep now? I mean I definitely have to shower and change and all, but I'm a hundred percent save now, I'm here. I don't think I can sleep though, for some reason I feel really well rested"
Regulus relaxed a little at that. “I need to sleep,” he said reluctantly. 

“ I would like it if you laid with me. I can sit and read while you bathe?” 
He rested his forehead on Remus’, very much feeling tired. The exhaustion from not drinking any blood had set in now that he’s letting himself feel it. 

"Of course, my love"