Full Moon
The first sunrays fell on Regulus' face. He sat on his sofa, reading a book while drinking some tea. It was one of the many he hid from his mother when she had guards storm in and take them. He saved only his favorites, and his mother didn’t know him well enough to know which ones they were.
Hearing Remus stir made him look up at the bed and smile. “Bonjour, mon amour.” He says. Love had become a pet name for Remus, but he doesn’t know if Remus knows about his feelings. “How are you feeling today?”
Remus propped himself up on his elbows, smiling softly at Regulus. "Better" His voice was still not remotely fixed, but he could communicate, Regulus delightedly noticed.
He smiled once he hears Remus’s voice. He’s had a hard time talking the past couple of days, so hearing him slightly more clear this morning show’s improvement. “Good, I’m happy about that. I got Evan to bring a hot chocolate for you.” He said, bringing it over to Remus. He liked seeing Remus in his bed, it warmed his heart. “You can drink it here.”
“I thought it might help because of your throat, I even had Poppy charm it with some pain relief potion. You don’t have to drink it if it doesn’t.”
"It...hurts a bit" Remus mumbled, weighing the cup in his hands, taking a few more sips before putting it down on the small nightstand.
Regulus went back to reading until he noticed Remus standing next to him.
“Do you need something?” Regulus asked, noticing how indecisive Remus looks, and was just a little concerned. Was he in pain?? He knew that hot chocolate might not have work, he had wanted to try it anyway.
With the way Remus looked at him, Regulus just wants to hold him close and never let him go, but he knew Remus wouldn’t want that, right?
It looked like Remus was struggling to say something but Regulus wasn't a mind reader and having a difficult time understanding made him increasingly frustrated. Remus looked desperate for him to understand, and Regulus wished he could. “Mon Amour, I don’t know what you need.” He frowned.
Remus sighed and seemed hesitant, but then he slightly reached out, his face suddenly a bit red. Was Remus asking him to hold him? Regulus’ brain stop working as he pulled Remus on top of him, reading his book be damned. He started to regret it once Remus let out a sound of shock but he let him get situated.
“You could have just asked to cuddle, you know.” He said, looking down at Remus with a teasing smile and brushing his hair out of his face. Remus nodded, kind of hiding his face now, flustered.
Regulus could die happy.
His pulse has gotten faster, and he was sure that Remus could hear it especially with the full moon being tomorrow and his head on his chest, but it didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would. Remus hiding his face in Regulus’ chest was the cutest thing he’s ever seen in his life. “I’m glad I’m locked in here with you.”
-------------
Remus stayed like that for a while, eventually shifting to look up at Regulus, half through his lashes. He traced the features of his face with his eyes again, trying not to let his gaze linger on the prince's lips for unnecessarily long. It was too much, to soon, he wouldn't do anything. If there was anything Regulus was willing to give him, Remus was sure he would give it to him.
"Hi" Regulus chuckled when he caught unto it. They didn't move for a moment until Regulus suddenly pressed his lips against Remus'
Never would Remus had dreamt of any of that. Regulus was so careful, so gentle, yet Remus felt himself kind of sinking against the prince's lips, closing his eyes. It was what he needed, it was all he would ever need in his life ever again. Who cared about anything else when he could just lay here, cuddled up to Regulus, kissing him.
Eventually though, they parted and Remus laid his head down in the crock of Regulus' neck. He smelled like cinnamon and old paper and there was nothing more familiar to Remus in that moment. Occasionally, he placed small kisses of affection of Regulus' shoulder or neck, not being able to put words to it quite yet, instead showing it through gestures much rather.
Remus wasn’t religious - if there had been a god, How wouldn't allow all this suffering for the two of them - but being with Regulus felt like pure heaven. His presence was his salvation and it would undoubtedly be his damnation eventually too, a dangerous game they were play. If Regulus was damnation, he was going to be a sinner then.
Regulus' hands kept running through Remus' hair and he just started saying something when the door practically flew open. Barty stormed in, followed by Pandora, who was much calmer. "Regulus, Remus I- Oh...OH" He gasped, putting a hand on his mouth with the most shit eating grin behind it. Pandora turned to look and shook her head, running her fingers through her hair.
Remus would have loved to just vanish on the spot. He couldn't even get up because Regulus had his hands wrapped around him and was refusing to let go, so he just stayed like that, hiding his face. Regulus holds Remus even though he shifts, probably uncomfortable. He rubs his back soothingly
“Can I help you?” He asked a bit rudely. “I was a bit busy.”
"I can see that" Barty badly concealed a laugh. "And I think we can actually help you right now. We might have found out what they gave Remus" He raised his head at the mention of his name and the possibility of finding out what had happened. Pandora nodded
"While it doesn't cure him, it will prevent him from transforming. It will still be agonizing to go through the full moon, but he will not be a danger to anyone, that was the whole purpose." Remus sighed and put his head back down. He couldn't imagine going through the full moon with all the suffering but not transforming so that he could forget
Regulus turns to Pandora. “So this is what they poured down Remus’s throat? Is it going to hurt him again?”
"We don't know" Barty shrugged "But we did overhear the conversation between your Mother and her brother, who seemed to have been in charge of it all. He told her to just leave Remus, he wouldn't be any danger to anyone like that."
Remus just listened, his head on Regulus' shoulder, making a quiet, terrified noise.
"It'll hurt" he whispered "It'll be bad"
Having to spend the fullmoon without the relieve of blacking out was a terrifying concept to him that he did not want to ever see coming true
“Alright, thank you for the information you two,” Regulus abruptly replied, as a dismissal. Pandora and BArty left immediatly.
“Oh by merlin, Remus I’m so sorry. " he whispered,
Remus nodded, slowly raising his head and kissing Regulus, very timidly, almost as if he feared to do something wrong. The fact that Regulus was apologizing was so crazy for Remus to wrap his head around. People barely apologized to him, especially not that genuine.
Regulus kissed him back for a moment, but pulled away to rest his forehead on Remus’ and look at his eyes. “Are you okay, mon amour?”
Remus nodded hesitantly. Of course he wasn't, not in this situation, and Regulus knew that. That wasn't really what he was asking then. But here, with Regulus, he was okay, as much as he could be.
"You're not...it's not that" Remus REALLY wanted to ask him, it felt wrong not to, but he could barely force a sentence out of his mouth with how his throat burned. He huffed, frustrated, and put his head on Regulus shoulder again. This sucked.
“Hm?” Regulus acknowledged, “Finish your thought, amour.” he says, leaning his chin on the top of Remus’ head.
He took a deep breath. It would take for it to come out in a coherent way, but he needed to ask.
"You're not...just...here because...you...pity me...?" He brought out with a lot of forcing himself, having to take breaks.
It wasn't worded the way he really wanted it to be, but he couldn't use enough of his mind at the moment. It really was the answer he was terrified of. As soon as he had finished, he did not want the answer. He really did not. It was stupid.
"Never-nevermind" he quickly mumbled.
“Pity you?” Regulus asked. “Why would I pity you? Because you’re a werewolf? Remus, I’m here for you despite the fact that you’re a werewolf, not because of it. I want to stay by your side and help as much as I can. What I feel for you is not pity, that I can promise you.”
Remus nodded, getting more comfortable again, calming down. Regulus was right. No one forced him to do this, it would be way easier for him to just abandon Remus than do any of this, so why would he do it of not for actually caring?
------
Hours later, Regulus was rushing to get done with his lessons and he was sure his instructor would agree. He was sparing with Minerva McGonnagall today. She was a retired military general who had been born and raised in Scotland.
She had been around since Sirius was a baby, and she was always closer to him than she was to Regulus but he couldn't stop himself from thinking of her as a maternal figure.
She had been helping Regulus and Sirius spar and taking care of them with her secret wife, Poppy, for as long as he could remember. He also knew that she didn't respect Walburga and Orion at all, and was only still here for him and the other kids, though she would never admit to it.
“Your form is a mess today, Regulus.” She said, her Scottish accent thick, having knocked him off his feet more than once.
He sighed, “I know.”
“Is it because of a certain boy whose gonna have a difficult night tonight?” Regulus glared at her,
“Oh don’t give me that look, I might be getting older but I’m not blind. Plus Poppy is taking care of him, or did you forget that she tells me everything?”
“Of course not, Minerva.” Poppy chides as she enters the room.
“He knows better than that. We were once like them, you know.” She kisses Minerva on the cheek. Minerva gives her a smile.
Poppy gestured for Regulus to sit on a bench so she could handle his surface wounds. He wouldn’t have gotten them had he been paying attention. He and Sirius loved to hear how the two had fallen in love. They had hated each other at first, because they were both apprentices and Minerva had been impulsive with no self control but fell in love along the way and here they were, 45 years later, secretly married and living together.
“I just wish I could be more helpful.” Regulus says, choking up. Minnie and Poppy were the only adults he let himself be vulnerable around.
“Oh love,” Poppy sighed. “I know this must be difficult for the both of you. There’s a spell that you could use to be with him during full moons as a wolf, assuming that potion turns out to be faulty or he run out,”
She continues, “It will temporarily turn you to an animal, I don’t know what kind. It reflects your soul. But since werewolves only attack humans, I think you would be fine. I’ll teach it to you on one condition: You be responsible with it and don’t hesitate to run if it seems like you’re in the slightest hint of danger, no matter how much you want to be there for Remus. Alright?” Regulus nods and she tells him what he needs for the spell. He couldn't wait to tell Remus.
----------
Remus was cowering in a corner of the room, his thoughts racing. He did not want any of this but no one had left him a choice. Regulus had told him to stay in here until he came back from his lessons, that he would be safe here, but it felt as if Regulus had been gone for an eternity.
What if Regulus did come back? What if the Queen or King stopped him from it ir found out and got him in more trouble? Or what if they found out? Would someone come for him, would it all happen again? Oh please no...please please no...he couldn't do it again...
Remus made himself as small as possible in the corner he was in, taking away as little space as he could. It helped a bit, being hidden away from everything, although it didn't stop the thoughts or the shaking. If only Regulus was there, he would be much calmed, he thought. But they had to be unsuspicious about it all.
“Remus, guess what? I found something that might let me— Remus?”
He flinched when the door was thrown open suddenly and only looked up with his eyes, terrified, until he saw Regulus. The bright light from outside was burning in his eyes, but it was worth it to look at Regulus. He was finally here. Still, Remus couldn't hide the obviously less than ideal condition that he was in at the moment.
Regulus came rushing over the corner "Can I touch you?" he asked.
Remus nodded, reaching out towards Regulus. He wanted nothing more than to have the prince hold him now, be with him here. He wouldn't have to do this alone and that knowledge on its own calmed him down by a lot.
The golden light that had fallen through the door had told Remus that it would be dark soon, the sun was already setting. There was absolutely no way to tell when it would start, especially not like that.
Remus relaxed when Regulus gladly accepted him into his arms, cradling Remus’s face and kissing him softly before he would be incoherent. The kiss felt like heaven and salvation, it was soft and gentle and it calmed Remus nerves, only for his mind to scream at him when Regulus pulled away
“Should I leave?” he asks once he had pulled away.
"No.. please no...don't...stay" He almost begged Regulus, terrified at the thought of having to stay alone. It was the least he wanted.
"Okay mon amour, I’m right here. I’m not leaving.”
Not long after, he felt the first pain, a flash of white behind his eyes like a migraine, leaving him to curl up in himself, against Regulus' body, groaning in pain. He grabbed Regulus' hands, squeezing them, needing to hold onto something, getting some kind of distraction.
"I'm scared" he whispered in a moment that he was pain free.
“I know.” Regulus whispered back. “I’m here, I’ll be here. I’m staying.”
Remus laid down, his head in Regulus' lap, letting the pain wash over him as he sobbed. It took a good hour, maybe more, maybe less. To Remus it felt like an eternity.
Then, the pain was just gone, suddenly. He had braced himself for new waves crashing in, but they just did not come. Instead, his mind was hazy now, barely able to think much. Would now be when he had completely transformed?
Regulus just ran his fingers through Remus’s hair as he cried.
“Hey love, can you talk?”
"A bit" Remus whispered, turning so that he looked up at Regulus instead of against the wall, his head still in Regulus' lap.
Not once had he moved during the entire time, Remus didn't know how he deserved someone like that but apparently the universe had decided to give it to him.
“Do you feel strange at all?”
Remus nodded "Very." he sighed, not particularly enjoying that feeling. But it was better than the pain. before, that was for sure. Just too much.
“I’m just asking because your eyes are very dilated.”
Remus nodded, regaining awareness a bit, sitting up slightly. That's when he noticed. "Reg...Are you bleeding?" He tilted his head, genuine worry in his eyes as he spoke.
“Oh! Yes, I likely am. I was training and nicked with a sword more than a few times. Poppy fixed me up, so no worries.”
So...you're good now?" Remus asked, his voice soft and quiet from the exhaustion, but he looked at Regulus with almost a smile.
“Yes, mon amour, I’m alright.”
He nodded, calmer now. "This is...weird" he mumbled, trying to get used to how much more his senses are amplified and how he was actually able to experience it
“I’m sure it’s perplexing.” he commented, looking around. “Your eyes are very dilated so I’m assuming you can see far away, or in the dark. Should I turn the light off? And plus you could smell the little bit of blood on me so your sense of smell is defined too. I’m positive you can hear from a distance as well.”
Remus just nodded along "It's uncomfortable like this" he sighed. He laid his head to the side a little, thinking. He didn't know if it would help at all, but it would at least be more comfortable. He just slightly opened his arms and looked at Regulus with an almost pleading look.
Remus could feel himself relax immediatly as Regulus pulled him against himself and smiled. Somehow the physical contact was calming to him and his senses. All he could smell now was Regulus and all he heard was his heartbeat. He closed his eyes, sinking against Regulus. This was good...this was safe.