Katherine waited until nobody was in the music classroom before entering. If someone caught her here she would be in a lot of trouble, students weren’t supposed to be in classrooms without a teacher present. It wasn’t clear if it was because they feared that students would break the equipment or that students would fuck each other there.
The music classroom was different from the rest of them. It had a stage and was pretty big, so the theatre club used it a lot. The equipment wasn’t too bad so it was nice.
Katherine double checked that nobody was there before going to the storage where the musical equipment was held. There was a lot of it, mostly classical instruments, but there was percussion. Katherine wasn’t interested in any of that, she was here for a microphone. The girl remembered sneaking in before and hoped that nobody moved them.
She grinned widely when she finally found them, she took one and started looking for the ‘worst’ speaker. The only problem with it was the fact it wasn’t loud enough for the school needs. However it was perfect for Katherine, it wouldn’t attract attention.
Katherine brought the speaker and microphone on stage and started to quietly set everything up. Surprisingly the loudest part was never the actual singing, but setting up.
“One, two, three, test. One, two, three, test” Katherine checked if the microphone worked right and when she was satisfied with it she took out her phone. She didn’t mind singing acapella, but she wanted a soundtrack.
The girl didn’t take much time choosing a song, she already had it downloaded and remembered the lyrics almost perfectly.
“It’s hard havin’ a heart in the city
Look at the stars, waitin' for someone to tell you you’re pretty, you’re enough” she started quietly. The start of the song was always the hardest for her, the fear of messing it up at the start made it hard to sing.
“So it goes, I don’t know, what the feeling’s like to be comfortable
With a stranger in your skin
Don’t know why you let them in
We used to talk about the fakers in LA
But now you’re one of ‘em and damn it hurts to say
I should've seen it comin’ from a mile away, a mile away”
Katherine closed her eyes and started to move a little, she still remembers when singing with an audience was enjoyable. Her standing on a stage, microphone in hand and pouring her heart out. Why did she stop? Having an audience shouldn’t take her voice away.
“You always wanted to take before you give
But what’s the fun of it
I don’t know how you live with yourself in your Hollywood house in the hills
Gives me chills
City of angels”
It wasn’t like she had an incident which made her unable to sing. Maybe if she did, she wouldn’t feel so ashamed. She faced away from where the audience would have been.
“Used to say, if you ever made it I’d be the first call
And life would stay fairly the same
Oh our friendship wouldn’t change at all
But you busted, haven’t talked in a year
I mistrusted, now it’s all comin’ clear
That you only think of yourself
May be loved, but you’re lonely as hell, oh”
Her family loved to make comments about her singing. ‘Is a cat dying?’ They would laugh, not realising it made her self conscious. They kept repeating that it’s just a joke, they didn’t realise how much it hurt her. And they say that they don’t know why she doesn’t sing anymore. Hah!
“We used to talk about the fakers in LA
But now you’re one of ‘em, I guess you got your way
I bet you're tired of all the games you had to play, you had to play
You always wanted to take before you give
But what’s the fun of it
I don’t know how you live with yourself in your Hollywood house in the hills
Gives me chills
City of angels”
Tears started to slip down her cheeks, she wanted to be a singer when she was younger. It had been her biggest dream, it always had been. Until she turned thirteen, that’s when singing for a public began to get too hard.
“That’s what they call us, right
Wish you were able
To see there’s so much more to life
Than fortune and fame
Validation and pain
When you always want more
There’s nothing to gain”
Katherine sang this part quietly, her tears made it harder not to stop and break down. She turned back to where the audience would be, she still didn’t open her eyes. Even if there was no one who watched her, she still felt a little scared.
“We used to talk about the fakers in LA
But now you’re one of ‘em and damn it hurts to say
Damn it hurts to say
You always wanted to take before you give
But what’s the fun of it
I don’t know how you live with yourself in your Hollywood house in the hills
Gives me chills
City of angels
That's what they call us, right
Wish you were able
To see there's so much more to life
City of angels
That's what they call us, right
City of angels”
Katherine let out a shaky breath when she finished the song and abruptly opened her eyes when she heard clapping. She relaxed a little when she noticed it was just Shelby. The girl sat on the floor. The other girl, seeing that Katherine noticed her, climbed on the stage and handed her some tissues.
“Thanks.”
“You’re welcome. You sing amazing, why do you never sing when the teacher needs singers for an event?” asked Shelby. There was supposed to be a school choir, but they had only one music teacher and she already did a lot of other things. That’s why when choir was needed it was a group of random people who wanted to sing.
“I- I just can’t” Katherine brought her knees to her chin, she really wanted to, but she couldn’t. It was like something was blocking her.
“What do you mean?”
“I can’t explain it, but I just… Can’t” Katherine sighed. “Can you help me take the speaker back to where it’s supposed to be?”
Shelby smiled and gave her a quick kiss on the lips, they weren’t together for too long and nobody knew they were dating yet. The girl gave Katherine a hand and helped her get up. They worked smoothly to hide the speaker, if somebody else used it they probably would decide to get rid of it. The microphone worked really well so Katherine didn’t try to hide it.
Before leaving the classroom Shelby helped her fix her makeup. The tears messed it up quite a bit, she found that a little funny. Pink and black mixed together which meant her face looked like a toddler got their hands on some paint.
“Ugh, you need to get a worse eyeliner or a waterproof one. I can’t get it out” groaned Shelby, they spent ten minutes trying to get it out.
“It’s fine, school hours ended some time ago, nobody will see” said Katherine calmly. It was true, only some teachers who had to do stuff and students who needed to write test that they missed.
“You’re right” relaxed Shelby and held Katherine’s hand. They walked out of school talking between themselves, but they didn’t mention what happened in the music classroom even once. What happens there stays there.