Fourth Year, Reconciliation
Tuesday October 29th 1974
Without warning, November seemed loom around the corner, biting the head of the colder and darker months. With the classrooms and dormitories being badly heated, Marlene had already swapped her thin robes out for the warmer woollen ones, and now slept in one of her brother`s old tattered jumpers. Luckily enough, it was still relatively sunny on most days, which made the shortening of the daylight somewhat bearable.
Marlene supported her head with her fist as she copied down the last words from the blackboard, glancing back and forth between her parchment and Ferox` scribbly chalk handwriting.
`Don`t forget, I need that three-page essay on the similarities and differences between Thunderbirds and Phoenixes on Friday at the latest.` Ferox boomed out just before the bell rang. `No, excuses.` he added, pressingly.
Marlene groaned; Mary, sitting next to her, joining in. It was that time of year again when assignment were starting to pile up, and every year it seemed to get worse and start sooner.
`I completely forgot about that.` Marlene whispered, cradling her head in her hands. `And I`ve got to practice almost every night this week – we`ve got the Ravenclaw match on Sunday.`
The match against Ravenclaw would be the first one of the season their team would be playing. Marlene was almost as nervous for this game as for her first ever game. It would namely be the first match she`d be playing together with Sirius as the other beater. Not that she didn`t have faith in Sirius, he was a good player, it was just different and he had a short fuse under pressure.
`I`ll lend you my notes.` Remus offered, his voice low as he blotted the surplus ink from his parchment. `It`s really easy.`
Of course he`d say that. However, not everyone was a Care of Magic Creatures prodigy. Still, it was really nice of him, so Marlene smiled at Remus.
`Sunday`s Sirius` birthday too, isn`t it?` Mary mulled, biting her bottom lip.
`Yeah, how`d you know?` Remus asked.
`Well we did sort of go out last year.` Mary replied, sticking her nose in the air. Marlene involuntarily flinched. `And you lot always make such a massive fuss over birthdays it`s pretty hard to forget. God, I hope Gryffindor win, or he`ll be in a right mood.`
`Yeah.` Remus gave in, nodding.
Marlene started packing her back, scowling inwardly. If it was up to her, they would all collectively forget that Mary and Sirius used to be some sort of item. That lay behind them; luckily.
The three of them headed out the classroom, the corridor already swarming with students.
`I`m off to the Owlery, need to send something to Darren.` Mary stated. `Coming, Marls?`
Marlene`s felt her spirits sink; if it wasn`t Sirius that she was reminded of, it was Mary`s current boyfriend. She bit her lip, hesitating to reply.
`I`m going to the library, if you want to get those notes?` Remus posed.
Instantly she felt her face light up, and Marlene thought that she`d never been so grateful for Remus. `Yeah, thank Remus!`
Mary shot her a curious look, but didn`t press. They quickly said their goodbyes and Marlene caught up with Remus. He was by far the tallest of their year, and despite her own length, she had a hard time matching his long strides. She wondered how Lily always did it, her being the shortest of their friend group.
`Thanks,` Marlene said again once she`d caught up with him. `I love the girl, but there`s only so many times I can proofread her dirty letters to Darren.` she gave as explanation. Those horrible letters were probably the worst thing to come yet from Mary`s relationship.
`Dirty letters.` Remus` brown eyes widened as he gaped at her.
`Yeah, it`s pretty horrendous.` she said, scrunching up her nose. `Hey, Remus, can I ask you something?`
Maybe now would be the best time to do so, it wasn`t often that she got him on his own. The question had been pressing on her mind for a while now and it truly bothered her. Remus was probably the best person to ask.
`What?`
`Um…does Sirius like me?` she asked slyly.
There was visibly confusion behind Remus` eyes and he seemed to be calculating something.
`I dunno.` he replied, his voice flat. `You`d have to ask him.`
Marlene sniggered. `I don`t think he`d give me a straight answer.` she shook her head. `Sorry, it`s just that he`s been acting really weird around me during quidditch practice.`
`Weird?` Remus frowned.
`Yeah, just comments and stuff.` she sighed. `It`s a bit annoying, really.` She paused and then, remembering that Remus still thought she fancied Sirius, she added, for good measure, `I don`t really fancy him as much as I use to – you know, he`s such an attention seeker, he was always much more Mary`s type.`
`What comments?`
`Stuff about me giving him a kiss for luck, or something-` Marlene faltered, trying to recall his exact words. `Maybe it`s his idea of flirting, or maybe it`s just a joke-` she fidgeted with the hem of her skirt and raised her eyebrows. `You never know with James and Sirius, do you?`
In the meantime, they had come to stand in front of the library and Marlene halted. When she turned to face Remus she noticed a strange expression on his face - one she was unable to place.
`What?` she urged him. `What`s that face for?`
Remus sighed. `Ugh, Marlene, look, I`m really sorry about this, but…` he seemed to hesitate. `They`ve got a bet between them.`
`A bet?` Marlene shook her head, narrowing her eyes, not understanding what he was getting at.
`Yeah,` Remus sighed exasperated. `Which one of them gets a girl to snog them first. It`s…it`s bollocks if you ask me.`
Marlene`s mouth fell open and she started wheezing with laughter, feeling oddly relieved. `That makes so much sense!` she spluttered. `James kept trying to stop Sirius talking to me and everything. Those boys! They`re completely ridiculous.` Little pieces of the odd puzzle she had tried to piece together started to fall in place. She couldn`t wait to tell this to Mary and Lily.
`Yeah.` Remus smirked.
`Oh great,` Marlene grinned smugly, biting her bottom lip. `Now I can have some fun with it.` They entered the library and Marlene lowered her voice. `Shame James hasn`t tried it on. He might have a chance.` She would really like to see Sirius lose from James.
`Well, he`s only got eyes for Lily, so.` Remus retorted.
Marlene sighed, that was true.
`That`s a loosing battle. Still never mind.`
They took their seat at their usual desk, close to the window. As promised, Remus provided her with the notes for their essay. Because Marlene didn`t want it to be an uneven exchange, she offered him her own Astronomy notes.
As they finished up and started cleaning off the desk to head down to dinner, Marlene shot a quick glance at Remus. She thought about the bet again.
`Remus,` she said. `Are all of the marauders in on this bet, or just James and Sirius?`
`Er…` Remus faltered. `I think Peter`s doing it. He might regret it a bit now, though.`
`So, you`re not?` she asked, almost feeling disappointed. If there was anyone she`d want to win this silly thing, it would be Remus.
`No!` Remus replied, sounding almost insulted.
`Shame.` she raised her eyebrows impishly. `Because I bet you could win.`
Remus stuffed another book in his satchel and sniggered. `As if.`
`Girls like you!` Marlene retaliated, surprised that Remus didn`t believe he could. `You`re nice, and kind, and clever.`
`Shut up.`
`I`d snog you.`
`Oh my god, Marlene.` Remus turned completely red and averted his eyes. `You`re my friend.`
Marlene felt satisfied to have brought this confusion and flustering on, this sort of thing was usually Mary`s territory. Learning from the best.
`Yeah, but just to win the bet.` she smirked and stared intently at him as they left the library. `Isn`t there anyone you fancy?` she asked, innocently. Maybe she could help Lily out while she was at it.
`No.` Remus replied brutally quick, speeding up his pace. `C`mon I`m hungry.`
`Alright.` Marlene answered, raising her eyebrows.
Maybe she`d been mistaken, but there had been a tone of defiance in his voice. Lily might have a chance still.
***
`Well, spit it out!` Mary pressed urgently as she shut the door to their dorm room hurriedly behind her.
Marlene had been giggly all throughout dinner, but hadn`t been willing to give them the tiniest bit of information of what had brought this on until they`d be in the privacy of their own room. Mary couldn`t imagine what Marlene could have possibly encountered in the little time she`d left her to go up to the Owlery, so she was burning with curiosity.
`Alright,` Marlene grinned, building suspense. `I reckon you better sit down for this one.`
Lily obeyed immediately and plonked down on the bed, Mary hurrying to sit next to her; both gazing up at Marlene expectantly.
`You know how I told you about Sirius acting weird?` Marlene raised her eyebrows meaningfully.
They both nodded in agreement.
`Well…apparently he doesn`t fancy me after all; the boys are doing a snogging race!`
`What!?` Mary`s mouth fell open in shock. That was the last thing she`d expected.
Lily looked alarmed. `How`d you find out?`
`Remus told me.`
`Remus?` Lily sounded nervous.
`Don`t worry Lil. He isn`t in on the bet.` Marlene replied reassuringly.
`Oh.`
That information didn`t surprise Mary in the slightest; Remus had always been the sensible one of the boys. Though he could probably win it; girls liked him. Well, Lily liked him and Mary herself had to admit that he had a certain appeal.
`Those cheeky fuckers.` Mary shook her head. `They really got some audacity. And thinking they could keep it on the downlow.` She was planning on telling every girl she knew about this development; that`d teach them.
`Aye, I know.` Marlene widened her eyes. `Apparently Peter`s in on the bet too. Didn`t think he would.`
`You`re kidding right?` Mary asked dryly.
Marlene looked at her confused, evidently not understanding what she was getting at.
`Oh, come on. You must have noticed how cosy Pettigrew is getting with Desdemona Lewis?` Mary laughed. `He`s on the path of winning the thing; at this rate at least.`
They`d been assigned new partners in Divination this year. Luckily, she was still teamed up with Marlene, but Peter had been put together with Desdemona, a pretty Ravenclaw girl. The two of them seemed to truly be hitting it off. It pleased Mary to see so. Peter was nice; he deserved a nice girl.
Sunday November 3rd 1974
It was the day of the Gryffindor v Ravenclaw match. The first match of the season and the first match that Gryffindor would be playing with Sirius Black as their beater.
`You`re going to do great.` Mary said as she massaged Marlene`s sore shoulders. She was keeping her friend company in the changing room before the game would start.
`Mm.` Marlene grunted as Mary pushed down hard on a sore knot in her muscle.
Lily had already taken place in the stands, joining Peter and Remus, all three decked out in red and gold. It truly surprised Mary how much of a fanatic quidditch supporter Lily was.
After a couple of minutes, they joined the rest of the team, Mary staying with Marlene as long as possible, knowing how nervous she was.
`One of you ladies wants to give me a kiss for good luck?` Sirius grinned, noticing them approaching. `It is my birthday after all.`
Mary and Marlene exchanged a meaningful look.
`Piss off, Black.` Mary chastised and added, `Maybe Potter wants to give you a nice snog.`
`Huh?` James spun around confused - his hair already a complete mess, despite the game not even having started.
Mary giggled, kissed Marlene`s cheek, and disappeared off the pitch between the rest of the supporters. The game was kicked off by Madame Hooch` whistle, a high pitched noise racketing between the stands.
The seats Lily and the boys had picked where high above the ground; from up there you had a marvellous view of the entire stadium. The stands were separated in two sections; one completely red for Gryffindor; the other blue for Ravenclaw.
Lily handed Mary a red and gold Gryffindor flag to wave with and scooted aside to make a space for her to squeeze into. Peter was mumbling animatedly to Remus, pointing at the players, the latter nodding along patiently.
Squinting and scanning the air Mary tried to locate Marlene. Aside from having different coloured ponytails, the two Gryffindor beaters looked practically identical in their red flying kits. Marlene was tall and lean, from such a distance almost indecipherable from Sirius.
Mary tried paying attention to what was happening on the field. She didn`t really care that much about the game, her main reason for showing an interest in quidditch was to please Marlene. However, she did thoroughly enjoy the sense of community it gave her.
Getting bored and wanting to talk to Lily, Mary looked sideways, but Lily was sitting on the edge of her seat, her green eyes massive as she eagerly watched the players.
`This is Black`s first game and he`s obviously throwing himself into it,` a voice boomed from the commentator`s box. `He`s no doubt received plenty of coaching from Potter – who`s just scored the first goal! That`s Gryffindor in the lead with ten points!`
The red portion of the crowd went up in a cacophony of cheers and Mary waved her flag frantically, hooting along, Lily grinningly jumping up and down.
`As I was saying,` the commentator went on. `Lot`s of talent on the Gryffindor side this year – Potter, of course, and McKinnon, who`s one of the best beaters the reds have had in years-` Mary and Lily exchanged a beaming smile; proud of their friend. `And now Sirius Black-`
The commentator began to ramble on about how Sirius wasn`t the first Black to go into quidditch and Mary tuned out; bored by having to hear about Sirius` complicated family history again. Eventually, Professor McGonagall cut the commentator off and pressed the seventh year Hufflepuff to limit her commentary to the match.
Mary went on to cheer along with the other Gryffindor supporters as their team scored goal after goal; cheering extra loud when Marlene hit a bludger. It seemed that Marlene and Sirius had been able not to let their differences get in the way of the game; the two of them flew perfectly in sync, beating countless bludgers out of the way of their teammates.
Their house won the match after the Gryffindor seeker had caught the snitch. Mary rolled her eyes at Lily as they both witnessed Sirius putting an arm around Marlene and trying to kiss her, only for her to dodge him nimbly and offer her cheek.
Obviously there was a huge victory party hosted that night in the common room. All three of them attended. Marlene joined her teammates in sharing the limelight after Mary had urged her to do so, saying that it`d be good for her for a change.
A completely pissed Dirk Cresswell, the sixth year boy whom they had pulled a prank on years ago, tried it on with Mary. Luckily, when Remus joined them with a bowl of snacks, stolen from the kitchens, Dirk disappeared into the night with hanging tail.
Mary sipped gingerly at a drink that she supposed contained some sort of alcohol. Lily sniffed the drink, pulled a sour face, and stuck to her butterbeer.
At some point, Sirius put on a different record and the common room fell eerily quiet as a low ominous howling filled the space, followed by someone reciting some sort of dark poem.
Mary raised her eyebrows at Lily, the latter giggling. At that moment, Marlene joined them again, beaming widely, her ponytail fluffed up.
`They`ve started with the Bowie.` Marlene said, her voice lowered. `I think this is our exit cue.`
***
Monday November 4th 1974
Though it was a lot easier to avoid Severus altogether, not addressing the problem they were facing in their friendship at all, the two of them would inevitably be forced together at some point. Hence, Lily decided it would be for the better to talk it out. It had become apparent that Severus wasn`t going to be the bigger person in this. She would need to be the one to take the first step towards reconciliation.
After Potions, which they shared with the Slytherins, she hung back, telling Mary and Marlene to go ahead. Trying to put her belongings back in her satchel as slow as humanly possible, she kept shooting furtive glances at Severus, who was still absorbed in his textbook, either not having heard the bell ring, or choosing to ignore it.
Lily waited until it was only the two of them and Professor Slughorn that were left in the dungeons until she gingerly approached Severus` cauldron.
`Hi.` she said, lingering beside him, tugging at the strap of her bookbag.
Severus didn`t look up, ignoring her.
`How`s your potion going?` she asked, trying to sound as casual as possible, even though her heart was hammering in her throat.
`Fine, Lily. My potion is going fine.` Severus replied, biting off his words.
`Good. That’s good.` Lily nodded, swallowing. `Mine to. I mean ours. Yeah.` She sighed, annoyed at her lack of eloquence.
`Hm, Lupin hasn`t ruined it yet?` Severus drawled.
Lily sighed again, but decided not to rise up to the bait. She looked around, Professor Slughorn wasn`t paying any attention to them at all; probably used to Severus staying in the dungeons after class.
`Want to erm…` Lily faltered. `Want to walk together?`
This made Severus look up. He wiped a strand of limp hair from his face, his eyes untrusting. `I thought you decided you didn`t like me anymore.` he said.
`I never not liked you.` Lily frowned, surprised.
`Didn`t seem like that to me, Lily.` Severus turned to his textbook again, the margins covered in scribbly notes.
`We`re friends, Severus.` Lily replied primly. `I don`t just decide to not be your friend anymore.`
`Fine.` Severus replied. Shutting his book, looking like it was taking him a lot of effort to make amends with Lily, even though he had been the one who had been mean.
They left the dungeons in silence, only saying goodbye to the Potions Master for good measure. As they ascended the stairs out of the dungeons, the late afternoon light started to pool in through the high cathedral-like windows and Severus squinted his eyes pained. Their footsteps made a hollow echo on the flagstones, hauntingly so. Severus didn`t seem inclined to talk first and Lily was starting to feel uncomfortable.
`So,` she offered. `What have you been up to?`
`Nothing special, Lily.` Severus replied. `Research.`
`Research?` Lily replied confused. `For class, you mean?`
Severus shrugged as they turned a corner. The stairs had just moved and they needed to take a detour.
`…ok.` Lily frowned when Severus didn`t offer any other explanation.
They fell silent again and Lily wasn`t going to be a martyr and drag to conversation on. So, she was surprised when Severus did speak.
`How are your friends?`
Lily`s face turned wry, he was indicating at Mary and Marlene. `Do you have to say it like that?`
`Like what, Lily?` Severus replied. `I`m showing an interest, aren’t I?`
`Don`t give me that, Sev.`
`They still are your friends aren’t they?` Severus` voice was an odd sort of sugary.
`Of course they are my friends. Why would they not be my friends anymore?`
`You seem to hold a very odd notion of friendship, that`s all, Lily.`
Lily bit the insides of her cheeks, it was no use starting a new fight. Obviously Severus was holding some sort of grudge; the best she could do was hope it would pass eventually.
There was a lot of ruckus at the end of the hallway and Peeves, the poltergeist, came bursting though the wall, cackling loudly as he chased a couple of first year students, pelting them with pieces of chalk and other rubble.
He noticed Lily and Severus and started hooting even louder, raising his arms and aiming the chalk at them.
`Oooh, two ittle bittle love birds.` Peeves crooned. `A Gryffindor and a Ravenclaw, Romeo and Juliet. star-crossed lovers.` the poltergeist started singing. The first years made use of the situation to scamper away.
Lily sighed annoyed and looked sideways at Severus, who had turned a bright shade of red. A large piece of chalk hit him square in the face and he doubled over, his hands clasped over his nose.
`Beat it, Peeves.` Lily raised her wand at the poltergeist. `You don`t want me to get the Bloody Baron again, now do you?` she raised her eyebrows mockingly.
Peeves zoomed away as fast as lightning, howling. Severus was still clasping his nose with both hands, blood seeping between his fingers.
`Oh God,` Lily said, staring wide-eyed at Severus. `Are you ok, Sev? Do you think it`s broken?`
Severus groaned, his face no longer flushed red, but awfully pale. He pulled his hands away from his nose and it did look to be standing slightly askew.
`Oh dear,` Lily said again and started rummaging in her bag for a tissue, which she shoved into Severus` hands as soon as she had located it. `Do we need to go to Madam Pomfrey?` she asked anxiously?`
Severus shook his head, holding the tissue up to his nose. `No, it`s fine, Lily. It`s not the first time I`ve gotten a bloody nose.` He sat himself down against the wall and tipped his head back. Lily sat down next to him.
`I`m sorry about this.` Lily said softly, leaning back against the wall.
`I`m really sorry about this too.` Severus replied, his voice small and muffled by the tissue.
In that moment Lily wasn`t sure whether they were still talking about Peeves.
When the bleeding had stopped and Severus had returned to his usual pallor, they got off the floor, grabbed their bags and headed down the hallway again. Lily carefully checking every corner to make sure that there wasn`t another ambush waiting around a corner; either a Poltergeist or another Slytherin. The non-pureblood students needed to tread the hallways with additional care these days. She`d already had to rescue multiple younger students from the claws of the blood-purists this term, and she`d truly lost count of the number of Slytherins she had hexed.
`I was actually headed to the library.` Lily said, leaving the part out that the people she would be meeting were the very ones Severus didn`t approve of. `So, erm, I need to go the other way.` She jerked her thumb to the right.
`Yes, alright.` Severus nodded, and for the first time that afternoon he sounded normal. He even looked somewhat disappointed, his face softened.
`Please let Madam Pomfrey look at your nose, Sev.`
`I will.`
Lily turned to walk the other way when he called after her.
`See you tomorrow in Arithmancy, Lily?` he sounded hopeful, younger. Arithmancy was the only other class they shared with the Slytherins besides Potions.
`Hm-hm.` she nodded, feeling torn between relieve and dread. `Of course.`
The rain clattered against the windows as she made her way through the castle towards the library, walking slowly, giving herself the time to mull over her conversation with Severus; what had been said, or more so what had not been said. It was amazing how they seemed to have reconciled without actually addressing the issue.
It was a lot like her and Petunia when they fought. Petunia would say the meanest, most out of pocket things and an hour or so later, she would come crawling back to Lily, not apologizing, but acting like nothing had happened at all.
She was missing Petunia a lot these days. Mary was bound up in her long-distance love affair with Darren and Marlene treated quidditch like it was a full time occupation. They still spent the same amount of time together, so Lily was never lonely exactly. However, both Mary and Marlene had such strong and stable bonds with their siblings that, even though they sympathized, they didn`t truly understand the gravity of the severing between Lily and her sister over the years.
Sometimes she tried to talk to Remus about Petunia, but since Remus didn`t have any family of his own, she noticed that talking about hers made him feel uncomfortable. And, if she was being frank, the feeling was mutual. It was hard to gauge how to approach the topic of family around him. Maybe that was the reason that Remus seemed to like spending time with Sirius so much; both of them having difficult families. If Severus wasn`t such a stuck up prick sometimes, he might actually find that he wasn`t all that different from the people he loathed.
`Hi, there you are!` Mary said, as she noticed Lily enter the library. `What took you so long?`
Marlene started clearing the desk, making room for Lily.
`Ugh,` Lily sighed, plonking down and rolling her eyes. `Just Peeves being a prat.`
She hated to admit it, but she was too embarrassed to say that she`d talked to Severus; they wouldn`t understand.
///