Third Year, Revision
Thursday April 25th 1974
It was only a couple more weeks until the exam period would rear its ugly head, initiating the final sprint towards the summer holidays. Exams would start in earnest at the end of May and be finished around mid-June. As a result of this it seemed that the teachers took these last few lessons to cram in as much course material as humanly possible.
At the front of the classroom, Mary was sitting in between Marlene and Remus. Care of Magical Creatures was probably the only subject - save for Divination probably - for which she actually took the time out of her day to get there early to get a better seat. This had very little to do with the class itself; more so with the Professor educating them.
It was sweltering hot in the small classroom and Mary was fanning herself with her notebook, trying to get the air to stir. Professor Ferox was stalking back and forth in front of the classroom, taking turns rummaging around in his drawers or shuffling with papers on the desk, waiting for the rest of the students to come in. Ferox was always up on his feet, moving around, doing something; Mary doubted she`d ever seen him sitting behind his desk. He moved rapidly in the sunlight that poured in through the windows. His coarse blond hair was once again bound in a thick plait that hung slack over his broad back.
Mary permitted herself to stare at their Professor as much as she desired, he was after all someone with whom she could never have a shot, thus didn`t prove himself to be a threat for her Darren. There was no harm in admiring his roughed handsomeness as he paraded in front of them. The soles of his chucky leather boots padded heavily on the stone slabs, Mary felt herself get soothed into a soft lull by the heat and the monotonous sound.
The last student entered the classroom and pulled the door shut behind them, the hinges creaking dangerously.
`You might want to leave that open!` Ferox boomed over the classroom, cutting through the murmur of students, startling Mary from her slumber.
She sat op straighter and shot Marlene a curious glance, raising her eyebrows quizzically. Mary tried to do the same with Remus, but he had his eyes glued on Ferox and didn`t give her any sign of recognition. Luckily, this wasn`t always the case anymore; the supposed hostility that Mary had felt emanating from Remus before the winter holidays had vanished. It was a bit peculiar, but she didn`t complain. It was a lot more pleasant to get along with him again.
`Seeing as it is such a lovely day,` Ferox went on in his gruff Liverpudlian accent. `What do you say we take this class outside, eh?`
A couple of students groaned, but the majority of them began to whisper in exited hushed tones.
`Can I have your attention a little longer!` he clapped his hands loudly; Marlene almost jumping out of her seat. `You can leave your bags and books here, but I do advice you to bring your wand. And possibly a towel.` he winked and Mary giggled, along with some other girls. `We will meet in fifteen minutes at the dock of the Great Lake. And for those of you who will take this opportunity to make a run for it: do know that it won`t go unnoticed!`
The class laughed and a ruckus of shuffling chairs and feet filled the classroom.
`What do you think we`re going to do?` Marlene whispered.
`Beats me.` Mary replied, tucking her wand in the band of her skirt, leaving her cloak on the back of her chair.
It truly was a lovely day, there was no denying that. The air was a bright blue, streaked through with chalky whisps of clouds. The long grass was motionless, not a gush of wind to disturb it.
Mary, Marlene and Remus were walking at the back of the group. A couple of overzealous students had already run out in front of the rest and were gavotting on the beach, shooting sparks at eachother; Professor McGonagall would have given them a detention.
Professor Ferox was trotting a couple of meters in front of them, rolling the sleeves of his earth-toned shirt up over his forearms as he stuck out above everybody else with head and shoulders.
`Come,` Mary said to Marlene and Remus, picking up her pace to catch up with their Professor.
Marlene ran after her. Remus followed reluctantly, it appeared that it was taking him some effort to pick up his pace, his hip hitching as if the joint was stiff.
`Hi, Professor.` Mary panted as she came to prance beside Ferox.
`Alright, Miss Macdonald.` Ferox grinned at her. `Miss McKinnon. Mr Lupin.` he nodded at the other two, shooting Remus a smile.
`What are we going to do, Professor?` Mary asked, curiously.
`Impatient, are you?`
Mary shrugged and giggled.
`Well, it wouldn`t be fair of me to tell you three and keep the other students in the dark, now would it, eh?`
`Life is unfair.` Mary raised her eyebrows cheekily; Marlene shot her a reprimanding look.
Ferox let out a booming laugh that disturbed a couple of birds in a nearby tree.
Remus still looked like he was having a hard time keeping up with them and Professor Ferox slowed down his gait so he could catch up again.
`Well, s`pose I could tell you,` Ferox said, still laughing, the lake looming in front of them. `You`ll find out soon enough.` he lowered his voice and bent down to their lever. `I asked Hagrid to help get me a Grindylow. How`d you like that, eh?` He raised his eyebrows.
`Wow.` Mary said, batting her lashes. `That must have been really dangerous, Professor.`
Professor Ferox laughed, `I bet none of you have ever seen a Grindylow? They normally don`t show themselves above the water surface.`
Marlene started to cough and Mary slapped her back, trying to dislodge her airways.
`Bug.` Marlene spluttered, shrugging Mary off.
`Can we touch it, like with Achilles?` Mary asked after Marlene had sufficiently recovered. Remus snorted.
`Ah no, Miss Macdonald. `Fraid not.`
`How is Achilles?` Mary purred.
Marlene and Remus simultaneously rolled their eyes, but this went unnoticed by Professor Ferox who had his eyes fixed on the nearing beach.
`He`s doing fine.` Ferox nodded patiently. `Still big and brooding.`
`I`ve got a cat of my own you know.`
`Achilles is not a cat.` Remus said, but Mary ignored him.
`He`s called Darren.` Mary went on.
`Darren,` Ferox smiled. `That`s a strange name for a cat.`
`It`s my boyfriends name.` Mary said proudly and Marlene looked like she`d chocked on a bug again. Remus kicked against a pebble.
`Boyfriend, eh?` Ferox honked laughing. `Well, well.`
Mary nodded and batted her eyelashes. Talking about Darren was one of her favourite pastimes.
`Ah, to be young and in love, eh? Isn`t that right.` Ferox mulled to himself. `Any more boyfriends or girlfriends I should know about?` he asked, looking cheekily at Remus and Marlene. `Maybe the two of you?`
Marlene and Remus simultaneously shook their heads furiously and jumped an extra few inches apart.
Ferox let out a booming laugh again and left their little trio to take his position at the front of the group. There was something rectangular standing on the dock, a dark cloth hanging over it. The students were whispering excitedly, pointing at it, nudging eachother.
Remus had sat himself down on a big boulder; Mary and Marlene urged him to scoot over so they could take a seat next to him. The surface of the Great Lake was placid, not a ripple to be seen. Ferox was rubbing his large hand against eachother, evidently eager to get started.
`Do you love Darren then?` Marlene asked suddenly.
`Huh?`
`Well, Ferox said something about being young and in love…`
`Oh,` Mary frowned. `It`s just a saying. Don`t think he meant anything by it.`
`Aye, right.`
`Shh.` Remus hushed them, pointing to their Professor.
Mary stared as Ferox pulled the cloth off the box and revealed a green slimy creature in a small aquarium. There was a lot of oh-ing and ah-ing, along with some disgusted cries. They had covered Grindylows in Defence Against the Dark Arts the year before, so the creature wasn`t an entire stranger to Mary.
Professor Ferox had been right in saying that she wouldn`t want to touch it; Mary had known so before she`d even asked the question. She`d just wanted to make some conversation. Sometimes she said things just to get a reaction out of someone, to make herself come of as adorning, or more naïve than she actually was. She liked the attention it gave her. Some sort of fulfilment almost. A way to fill up some of the emptiness that sometimes crept into her.
***
Saturday May 4th 1974
`Mind if we shortly pop in here?` Lily asked as they trudged along the cobbled streets.
This weekend was the last Hogsmeade weekend up until their exams would start, the one after that would be in their forth year. Forth year already, gosh.
Marlene and Mary waited on the sidewalk as Lily quickly slipped into Scrivenshaft`s Quill Shop. With the nearing exams, she was flying through her stack of notebooks faster than anticipated. And this week alone she`d already broken two of her most beloved quills because she`d been pressing down too hard on the tips. Her fingers were permanently ink stained and her eyes had an odd burning sensation from reading with too little light. Mary teased her that if she would go like this, that at this rate she`d have to get matching glasses with Potter.
At first, she hadn`t even wanted to go into Hogsmeade this weekend. An almost empty castle was a perfect opportunity to revise without being disturbed by anyone. However, Mary had nagged her ear off until Lily had given in and told them she`d come along if they promised to spend their entire Sunday studying.
To be frank, this last Hogsmeade weekend was the perfect opportunity to get some leisure in. Lily hadn`t had much of that these last couple of weeks. It was easy to get lost in her piles and piles of homework without coming up for air. Their study group with Remus was in full session again and they spend most of their afternoons and evenings revising in the library.
The stationary shop was filled to the brim with students getting new quills, ink and parchment. Lily could see Mary and Marlene sitting on the curb through the shopwindow. She would try to make it speedy, she`d promised she`d be out in a jiffy again.
Slaloming between a couple of fifth year Ravenclaw students, she was able to reach to part of the shop where they stacked a multitude of quills. If she`d just stick to the ones she`d had before there needn`t be too much debate about which ones she`d chose.
Her heart made a leap as she recognised a familiar figure examining a couple of quills.
`Hiya, Remus.` Lily smiled as she went to stand beside him.
`Alright.` Remus nodded and glanced behind her. `No McKinnon and Macdonald?`
`They`re waiting outside.` Lily explained, searching between the narrow boxes to find the ones she was looking for.
`Praise yourself lucky,` Remus said softly, gesturing with his head behind him where an eternally bored looking trio of boys was seated on the ground. James pricked up at the sight of her and gave an excited wave.
Lily raised her eyebrows meaningfully at Remus, the latter shaking his head, a curl of dark blond hair falling in his eyes. Lily had to urge to reach out and tuck it back; she swallowed and didn`t.
By now Lily had found both quills she had been looking for, but she lingered, wanting to keep in Remus` vicinity a little longer.
`What`re you looking for?` Lily asked, pretending she herself was also still browsing.
`One that`ll clean up my handwriting.` Remus mumbled. He was squinting at the label on a box, his face strained. He didn`t have his reading aid with him obviously. Lily was still proud of that one.
`Oh, I just had one in hand.` Lily went to stand on her tippy-toes and reached up to grab a quill from the top shelf, almost taking another box with her, Remus prevented it from falling. `Whoops. Right, there you go.` She handed it to Remus, blushing.
`Cheers.` Remus smirked as he took it from her, the callused tips of his fingers fleetingly coming in contact with her thumb.
Lily felt herself flush. `No worries, I, erm, I should,` she stammered. `Pay for these.`
Without saying another word she went over to the register and hastily paid for her quills, shooting glances back at Remus, trying to gauge if he was looking at her.
`Got everything?` Mary asked as Lily emerged from the shop, stepping into the bright afternoon light.
`Yes!` Lily replied. `Oh, wait no!` she gasped. `I forgot my notebooks.`
Mary groaned and Marlene bobbed back and forth on the balls of her feet.
`I should…` Lily gestured back towards the shop.
`Yeah, yeah, better be quick,` Mary replied grinning. `Marls and I will walk ahead towards The Three Broomsticks.`
`You`re a peach.`
`The whole fruit bowl.`
Lily shot her a grateful smile and spurted back into the shop, hurrying as she snatched a stack of notebooks from a shelf and stalked towards the register. She desperately hoped Remus hadn`t seen her leave the shop, only to re-enter it again.
It looked like she would get away with it, she`d even paid and was ready to leave again. Just as she turned away from the registerer, she bumped straight into Remus, dropping her pile of notebooks that she had yet to stash in her satchel.
`Oh gosh, I`m sorry,` she mumbled, crouching down and grabbling to pick her supplies off the floor. `I`m so clumsy today.`
Remus helped her get everything in her bag and Lily could feel her entire face flush and a trickle of sweat drip down her spine.
`Right, bye, again.` she stammered and smiled as she excited the shop backwards. Gosh, she really was on a roll today. Her brain felt all scrambled. Most of the time she was able to contain her nerves around Remus, but apparently with the stress from the looming exams, she was no longer able to hold herself as poised as she`d hope.
`Bye.` Remus raised his eyebrows in amusement.
Lily hasted towards the pub, tugging at the strap of her heavy satchel, the strap cutting into the tender flesh of her shoulder. Her footsteps echoed on the stones of the narrow cobbled streets, the storybook houses precariously leaning forward, ivy traveling up the storefronts. She didn`t like to move alone from one place to the other these days. It was almost impossible to do so without getting harassed by the Slytherins. It was hard not to break into a run as she spotted some at the end of the street.
Relieved she threw herself down on a chair once she was savely inside of the pub. Mary and Marlene already had butterbeers standing in front of them and had one waiting for Lily. Lily took big gulps, trying to cool herself down.
`You alright?` Mary asked concerned.
`Hm-hm.` Lily nodded, her mouth still full. She swallowed. `Just got a bit creeped out walking on my own.`
`Yeah, I get what you mean.` Mary replied, lowering her voice. `Marls almost had to hex Mulciber just now.`
Marlene nodded, biting her nails. `Aye, wanker didn`t want to let us through.`
Lily shuddered and didn`t know if the sudden cold she felt was from the butterbeer or something else.
`I wonder how long this foolish blood purity nonsense is going to last.` Lily sighed.
`I don`t know,` Marlene said softly. `But I do know that we haven`t reached the hight of it yet.`
`What do you mean?` Mary asked frowning. `What d`you know?`
Marlene shook her head, `Nothing specific,` she swallowed. `Just that mammy thinks it`s getting dangerous enough that we`re searching for a new place to live.`
Lily widened her eyes, she had no idea this thing was already thus far advanced. `Gosh, how long have you known?`
`Couple of weeks.` Marlene replied, biting her nails. `Well, before that actually, erm, but I think it`s really going to happen now.`
`Do you…do you think we should worry?` Mary asked, looking anxious. `My family…are they in danger? You think?`
`I don`t know.` Marlene shook her head. `The Ministry seems to be covering a lot up.`
`But,` Lily whispered. `They won`t…I mean…they won`t actually let it get that far that, erm, that we should fear for our lives or something?`
`It`s a war.` Marlene replied, neither confirming nor denying Lily`s fears.
The three of them fell silent and Lily took another big gulp of her butterbeer, the cold liquid chilling her insides.
***
Friday May 17th 1974
During the exam period the library was open for extended hours and it sure made itself known to Marlene. For days on end she`d barely left the library, only to eat and sleep. The quidditch season was over - Gryffindor had won the quidditch cup again - so there was barely anything other to do but revise. Revise, sleep, repeat. Though, Marlene didn`t sleep much these days, she was plagued by nightmares about failing all her exams and having to flunk out of Hogwarts altogether.
Lily and Mary had just left, Marlene had just wanted to stay a little longer to go over some additional notes. She was reading the page, yet nothing was computing, nothing seemed to be entering her mind. If she closed her eyes she could picture her brain; a large bin with rubbish spilling over the edge.
She stifled a yawn behind her hand and propped her head up on her elbows, digging her fingertips deep into her temples; if she wasn`t careful, she would give herself a headache. And if she had a headache she would be even less able to study. And she really needed to if she wanted to stay on the quidditch team.
She picked up her quill, deciding she would copy down everything she was able to conjure up from memory; maybe that would help her etch it into her mind. A sharp pain shot through her forehead and out of instinct she tightly shut her eyes.
It wouldn`t hurt if she closed her eyes for a couple of seconds; maybe it would help to subside the throbbing sensation that emanated from the back of her head all the way to her browbone. There were white pinpricks of light on the inside of her eyelids and she studied them fascinated. If she pricked up her ears she could hear the wind wreak havoc to the rafters. She let herself be soothed by the knowledge that she wasn`t out it the storm.
When she opened her eyes again Marlene had no idea how much time had passed; could be minutes, could be hours. There was someone tapping on her shoulder, a sharp jab into her muscle.
`Marlene!` someone whispered urgently.
Startled she jerked up right and stared at the person who`d snuck up on her, trying to get her tired eyes to focus.
`Remus?` she blinked as his scarred face came into view.
`You fell asleep.` Remus spoke, his voice low, just above a whisper. `Library`s closing down soon.`
Marlene`s stomach churned and she looked down at her still blank piece of parchment. `Oh no!` Her whole head swarmed with panic and the dull throbbing pain behind her eyes. There was a smear of ink just at the top of the page, she stared at it. `Oh no.`
`It`s ok.` Remus tried to reassure her. `You obviously needed the rest, eh? Still some more time until exams start.` It was obvious that he was trying to make light out of the situation, but it wasn`t helping.
`I`ve got so much revision to do!` Marlene groaned, feeling nauseous. How could she have fallen asleep like that? `I can`t remember anything about crups, can you?` she asked feverishly, gazing up at Remus.
`Come on,` Remus replied, not answering her question. `We`d better go, or Pince`ll be after us.`
The severe librarian was staring at them with a wry look on her face. Dozily Marlene nodded and stood up, feeling the ground almost give way underneath her. Remus led her though the rows of bookcases towards the exit of the library.
She rubbed her temples again and tried to remember what she`d been reading before she`d fallen asleep. How could she have fallen asleep? Lily or Mary never fell sleep, and she was sure Remus never fell asleep.
`Crups have forked tails, are wary of muggles, and somewhat remember cocker spaniels.` she mumbled, not sure if she was talking aloud or thinking.
`Jack Russell`s.` Remus said, correcting her.
`What? Really?!` Marlene yelped distraught, her voice coming out louder than she`d anticipated. Panicked she grasped Remus` arm, her fingers boring into his wiry muscles.
`Er…yeah.` Remus stammered, stumbling back.
`Of course you are sure!` Marlene groaned, letting Remus` arm go. `You`re the best in our class.` Sometimes Remus made Marlene feel jealous at how clever he was; it made her feel insecure to be around him.
`You`re very good too…` Remus retorted, but Marlene could feel he didn`t mean it and he was only trying to be nice.
She wasn`t good at Care of Magical Creatures. Not even close to being decent. If it wasn`t for the help of her friends, she thought she might just fail every single class she was taking. At this point there wasn`t even hope left she would be able to stay on the quidditch team. She`d disappoint her mum and her life would be ruined. Her bottom lip began to tremble and before she knew it she burst out crying.
`I can`t do it!` she howled, completely losing control of herself. `I`m going to fail everything!`
A group of Slytherin students passed them by in the otherwise deserted corridor and chuckled. See, even they though she was a complete abomination. She started crying louder and flung herself at the nearest object that would catch her fall, flinging her arms around Remus. She didn`t think she`d ever hugged a boy before, but she didn`t care. She needed a shoulder to cry on, and what did it matter anyway; she didn`t even fancy boys. That though made her cry even louder.
`I`m so rubbish!` she sobbed against the coarse fabric of his jumper. `I mess up everything. I`m never going to be as good as Danny, or mum, or you, or Lily…`
`Er…you`re better than Mary at…` Remus started.
Marlene intercepted him, `But Mary`s got a boyfriend and everyone fancies her and no one likes me!` Tears were gushing down her cheeks, tasting salty on her lips. She was convinced everybody hated her; she was a bore, bad at school and nothing as exciting as everybody else.
Bashfully, Remus patted her back. `I`ll um…go and get Lily, shall I?`
`No, no it`s ok…` Marlene pulled herself loose from Remus. She didn`t want Lily to see her in this state. Marlene would feel mortified. She noticed they were standing close to the girls loos. `Will you wait for me?` she asked, gesturing at the door.
`Um…ok.`
Quickly Marlene went into the loos. Gripping the sides of the basin, she stared at herself in the mirror; her face was blotchy and red. She felt embarrassed by the way she`d let herself go like that in front of Remus. She didn`t know what had gotten over her.
Breathing very slowly, extending her exhales, she kept staring at her reflecting until she felt like she was no longer looking at her own face. The grey teary eyes blinked back, but they didn`t feel like they were hers. Luckily, she did feel calmer and despite the funny feeling she excited the loos.
Remus was waiting for her, looking uncertain.
`Sorry.` she smiled shyly. `I feel silly.` It wasn`t Remus` job to take care of her like this.
`S`ok.` Remus mumbled and hoisted both his and her satchel over his shoulders. Marlene wanted to say that she was perfectly capable of taking her own bag. However, that wasn`t what Mary would do in this situation; Mary would always let the boy carry her bag. So, she let him.
`I am being silly.` she said again, as they went on their way. `I know I am – my stepdad hates it when I get wound up. Says it winds him up. Then mum gets the worst of it. Danny says I need to toughen up and stop acting like a baby, but…`
`Who`s Danny?`
`My brother.` Marlene answered surprised. `I`m sure I`ve mentioned him. He`s a beater for the Chudley Cannons.`
`Oh right, yeah I did know that.` Remus bit his lip, nodding. `Must be why you`re so good.`
Marlene huffled, looking at her feet as they moved over the flagstones. `I`m not as good as Danny.`
`Well,` Remus mulled. `You`re only fourteen. Bet your brother wasn`t as good at fourteen. You beat Sirius, and he`s really good.`
`Do you really think so?` Marlene glanced up at him. While she had been on the team for almost two years now, sometimes she still felt like an imposter. That it was all a fluke and they`d only let her on because of her brother.
`Yeah.` Remus responded, matter-of-factly. `Obviously. Gryffindor won the cup again this year, didn`t they?`
Marlene sighed. `Because of James.` It was annoying how good he was, and how everybody knew it. She wasn`t even sure if the Gryffindor supporters knew her name when she flew over that pitch.
`Yeah, well James is mental, you don`t want to be like James.`
Marlene chuckled, it was true, James could be a wee bit intense. However, she wasn`t so sure about not wanting to be James. If she was James there was no doubt in the world that Mary… `You won`t tell Mary what I said, will you?` she asked anxiously.
`Nope.` Remus shook his head.
`She`s my best friend.` Marlene smiled wistfully. `And I`m not jealous of her or anything, she`s just…` she sighed. `She likes to show off, you know. She`s so funny and clever and chatty and everything, sometimes I feel a bit…` she`d have to be careful now, as not to accidentally say something she`d regret. `I mean she`s already been out with Sirius and now she`s got that muggle boyfriend, and I think Professor Ferox likes her more than me.`
`He`s a teacher.` Remus replied, sounding repulsed. `He likes everyone the same. Anyway, you`re funny. James is always going on about how you get everyone laughing at quidditch practice.`
`Really?!` she exclaimed a wee bit overeager and felt her face get hot. `What about…um…what about Sirius, does he think I`m funny?` Now she had the opportunity, she might just as well get a lay of the land.
`Yeah, obviously. We all do. Your impression of McGonagall is the best.`
Marlene felt satisfied with this knowledge. Maybe she wasn`t such a bore as she had imagined herself to be. If even Sirius -who seemed to loathe her- thought she was funny, anything could be possible.
`Thanks, Remus.` She said and prior to taking her bookbag from him, she quickly hugged Remus again.
Swiftly she headed up the stairs towards the dormitories. She bit her nails, still feeling embarrassed about her meltdown in front of Remus, who, when she though about it, didn`t know her all that well. However, she did feel extremely grateful for the momentary peace of mind he had been able to bring her.
///