Third Year, ABBA and April Fools
Friday March 22nd 1974
In the distance, behind the tumultuous expanse of the Great Lake, the Douglas firs and other evergreens were swaying precariously in the wind. Marlene had always marvelled at the duality of trees. When walking in the woods on a particularly windy day, if you kept your eyes straight out in front of you and didn`t look up, the wind could almost be unnoticeable. It could get eerily still, the continuous rush of the leaves as a prickling static in the background. Yet, the moment you did look up, to gaze at the tops of the trees, you could see them rocking uncontrollably. The tallest and skinniest of them bendy and malleable, reminiscent of rubber bands; the trunks swivelling heavily as the branches flailed back and forth. Marlene could never look too long at those waving humanoid trees, for she felt like she might get sucked up into the wind.
The wind howled against the windows, making the sills creak in their ancient structures. Marlene sighed, wishing she was outside. The quidditch season was almost over. They only needed to play their last match of the year before there would be a new reigning quidditch team. The way it looked now, Gryffindor would probably win the cup again. However, Marlene wouldn`t let her guard down; there was still a lot that could happen over the next few weeks.
`I`m well aware that Divination is for telling the future, or fortune, or…whatever…` Lily sighed. `I just don`t think that`s how it works.`
`And why not?` Mary raised her eyebrows defiantly.
Marlene tuned back into the conversation. They were sitting in the library, getting a head start on their revision. For the past hour she`d been working on memorising potion ingredients. They were mainly covering healing potions this term, and Marlene had discovered that she actually thoroughly enjoyed being able to make draughts that were to aid something. Her potion for bruises had been thus successful that she had been able to use it on her own blemishes after quidditch practice last week.
`I just don`t think you can actually predict who is going to win Eurovision.`
`Sure you can, they do it all the time.` Mary replied insistently.
`Yeah, well not with tealeaves and tarot.` Lily said pointedly.
For the past couple of weeks, Marlene had been introduced to the concept of the Eurovision Song Contest. It was some sort of muggle television show - or contest as the name stated - that was held every year around Europe. Every competing country was supposed to send in one singer or band, and they would battle about who had the best performance and song, or something; it was still all rather confusing to Marlene. Mary and Lily had showed her various newspaper and magazine clippings from previous years; it looked incredibly over the top.
The reason that Marlene had only heard about the phenomenon of Eurovision this year was extremely straightforward; ABBA. Ever since the three of them had heard Waterloo playing on Marlene`s little radio, they had been completely obsessed. ABBA was a Swedish pop band consisting of two women and two men who dressed up in tight sparkly costumes and sang mostly upbeat disco songs. They were this year’s participant for Sweden, hence the sudden attention that was drawn towards them. Mary had found a photograph of the band in a muggle magazine and had shown it to Marlene, telling her that with her pale blond hair, she did look a bit like the blonde one of the two woman, Agnetha; which had made Marlene turn a bright shade of red.
`I just knowABBA is going to win.` Mary said, shuffling her deck of tarot cards again.
Lily didn`t reply and went on scribbling furiously in her notebook; Lily always scribbled furiously, as if she had something really important to tell the parchment.
`It`s a shame we can`t watch it here.` Mary moped, putting a couple of cards face down in front of her. `Are we absolutely certain there isn`t a telly at Hogwarts?`
Lily shook her head, `Nope. We don`t have electricity. And even if we got over that problem, I haven`t got a clue as to how we would even get reception.`
Mary looked glum. Ever since the holidays, Marlene had noticed Mary had started to complain more about the restrictions of Hogwarts. She had started asking around for different ways to get mail in and out of the castle. But Hogwarts was unplottable, so getting sending things by muggle post was practically impossible.
On the contrary, Marlene liked the fact that their school was unplottable. It made it a little world on its own. Away from everything; well not everything.
`I miss Darren.` Mary sighed and lay her head down on her arms.
`You wouldn`t miss him that much if you would start doing your homework.` Lily replied primly and tapped Mary`s book with her finger.
Mary huffed. `You`ve got it easy. You can stare at Lupin all you want.`
Sighing, Marlene went back to her homework. She`d taught herself to sort of turn off when the topic of boys was brought up. It did help to get her extra hours of studying in, and Merlin knew she needed it.
Marlene only looked up again when there was a shuffling sound at a nearby desk, and she spotted Peter. He was alone; none of the other marauders were with him. His face was drawn as he started to unload some things from his satchel.
`Peter!` Lily called to his attention, evidently also having noticed him.
Peter looked up nervously and gave a shy wave.
`You`re alone?`
`Yup.`
`Sit with us!` Mary called, a little too loud, which gave her a reprimanding look from Madam Pince.
Peter looked hesitant, his cheeks pinks as he bit his bottom lip and glanced at them.
`No use sitting alone.` Lily smiled at him.
`Alright.` Peter gathered his belongings and scurried towards their desk. Marlene quickly cleaned away some of her own books to make room for him.
`Why are you on your own?` Marlene asked frowning as Peter slid next to her, almost dropping his inkwell as he bumped into the table. It was odd to see Peter without James around.
`Erm…` Peter wrung his hands, still pink. `I got kicked out of the dorm.`
`You what?` Lily asked befuddled.
`Yeah, Sirius decided he wanted some peace and quiet to think.` Peter replied glumly.
Marlene`s eyes widened and Mary evidently shared her shock. `He what!?`
`He can`t just kick you out of your own room.` Lily huffed indignantly.
Peter shrugged. `I`m used to it.`
`Yeah, but still…`
`What`s he thinking about?`
`Don`t think I`m supposed to tell.`
Mary furrowed her brow, `Oh come on, the dickwad kicked you out, didn`t he?`
Peter grinned nervously, `Alright…` he lowered his voice. `We- Well, more James and Sirius, are trying to come up with some sort of April Fools prank.`
Marlene lifted her eyebrows.
`Do tell!` Mary pressed.
`Well, that`s the thing.` Peter sighed. `They can`t come up with anything good and every time I tried to suggest something, they shrugged me off.`
`Oh.` Mary replied disappointed.
Lily looked pensive and Marlene felt incredibly sorry for Peter. She had actually spend a great deal of time with him; playing chess in the common room, or working together in Herbology and Muggle Studies. He truly was a nice person and it was pure mean of the other boys to exclude him like this.
`We could…we could do our own prank?` Marlene mulled out loud. `If they are going to exclude you from his own group we should do something as well.`
All eyes shot to her, making Marlene sit up straighter, not comfortable with being the center of attention.
`Aye,` she pressed on more confidentially. `We should plan our own prank. I bet we could come up with something that those wankers wouldn`t even consider.`
`But…` Lily`s brow furrowed. `Wouldn`t we get into trouble? I can`t afford a detention so close to exams.`
Marlene thought about this, already she could feel an idea forming. `No…` she shook her head, grinning impishly. `Not if in reality we won`t even be doing anything at all.`
Lily, Mary and Peter stared at her, eyes wide in anticipation.
Quickly, Marlene glanced around as to check there would be nobody listening in, she lowered her voice and started to explain her plan.
***
Saturday March 31th 1974
`How will we know she`ll actually want to help us, though?` Marlene asked as they ploughed up the stone staircase.
`We don`t.` Mary replied. `We can only wait and see.`
`But what if she doesn`t?` Marlene asked again.
Mary sighed, Marlene`s uncertainty in the plan was getting on her own nerves. `Then I`ll ask Ferox to do it.` She was certain he would be up for it.
`I`m sure she`ll want to help.` Lily chimed in. `Those boys have been causing her nothing but trouble these past years. Trust me, she`ll be more than happy to help us.`
`And if not,` Mary laughed. `We`ll threaten to take you of the quidditch team, Marls. Everybody knows how much old McGonagall loves herself good quidditch match.`
The staircase they had been mounting to get to the third floor moved and they had to take a detour to get to their destination: Professor McGonagall`s office.
Their prank consisted of a lot of different components; one of them being Professor McGonagall. It was truly a genius idea, and Lily had come up with that part at the last moment, just before they had left the library the previous Friday.
The best part about their prank was that in essence there wouldn`t even be a prank at all. There wouldn`t even be any magic involved. It was all one phycological game they would be playing. Nobody would get hurt and, if they did it right, James, Sirius and Remus would never even find out what had actually happened. Lily had been hesitant to not let Remus in on their prank, but they had been able to convince her that it would be for the better if he also knew nothing.
And that was what it was all about: knowing, or more so not knowing. For the entirety of April Fools` day, and the days leading up to it, Mary, Lily and Marlene would subtly be dropping hints about the amazing prank they had planned for the first of April. In fact, they had already started. They had been whispering in conspicuous voices just out of ear reach from the boys and mysteriously covering their notes or their books the moment one of them came near. They scurried around as if they had big mysteries to hide. While, in fact, they were planning nothing at all, and all they were doing was their homework. It was absolutely driving James and Sirius mad with curiosity. They were constantly prying as to what they were doing.
They were only planning to screw up the mystique as April Fools neared, and on the day itself they would constantly go out of their way to make it seem like they were doing something they were not supposed to; keeping the boys on their toes.
What Peter got out of it, was that for once, he would be able to see the other boys be excluded for something. He could gloat in their uncertainty and frustration. And he was their inside mole; making sure they would be at certain places at certain time to witness the faux marauding of the girls.
It was surprisingly easy to not worry that he would accidentally spoil their plan. Seeing as if someone would ask him and he`d say `they`re not doing anything`; who would believe that?
Professor McGonagall was the last link in their devious plan, and also the link that would make sure that none of the boys would ever found out about the truth.
Boldly, Mary knocked on the wooden door to Professor McGonagall’s office, the hollow sound reverberated in the empty hallway. Mary felt positively giddy with excitement. Not only was it nice to finally do something other but studying, it also took her mind of how much she missed Darren. It had been almost three months since she`d last seen him. She`d called him a couple of weeks ago when it had been a Hogsmeade weekend, but more contact than that they hadn`t actually had. A couple of times, Lily had been so sweet as to let her sent a long letter along with her own owl. That way Lily`s parents could sent it by normal postage towards London. However, Mary could hardly expect Lily`s parents to do that every day.
The door creaked open and McGonagall appeared, catlike eyes peering over her narrow spectacles. Despite the fact that she was no longer towering over them as she had in first year, Mary couldn`t help but feel intimidated by the stern-faced witch.
`Yes?` McGonagall asked as she looked from the one to the other.
`May we,` Lily started - she would do the talking, seeing as she was the one the teachers liked the most. `May we have a word with you Professor?`
Marlene was anxiously fiddling with the cuffs of her sleeves; Mary tried to keep herself as poised as possible; trying to look confident.
The green robed witch looked slightly taken aback, but opened the door to them anyway. Gingerly, the three girls treaded over the doorstep into the small candle lit office.
Gesturing them to sit down, Professor McGonagall sat down behind her desk and folded her hands overtop eachother as she stared intently at them; her eyes almost unnervingly unblinking.
Lily took the lead again, and slowly but surely she started to explain to their head of house what they had planned. At first, Professor McGonagall had a deep furrow on her brow, but as Lily went on, Marlene and Mary adding something every now and again, her face seemed to soften and Mary swore she could actually see something like a smile start to crinkle around her otherwise unmoving lips.
`So…` Professor McGonagall asked, voice lilting. `If I understand correctly… You want me to… call you to my office?`
Mary nodded vigorously.
`While making sure Mr Potter, Mr Black and Mr Lupin notice me doing so?`
`Yes.` Lily replied.
`And if they asked me what for, I say that I`m not allowed to disperse that information due to Ministry secrecy laws?`
Now all three of them were nodding excitedly.
That was their pièce the résistance. At the end of the first of April, Professor McGonagall would pull them out of the common room, under the watchful eye of the marauders, with the excuse that she needed to talk to them privately. Then, after half an hour or so, the three of them would return to the common room, looking shocked and glum. If the boys would ask they what they had been up to, which they no doubt would, they would tell them the prank was off. And, if they would ask why, they would say that they weren`t allowed to say so, otherwise they`d get into trouble with the Ministry. With McGonagall in on it, it would be fool proof.
The boys would be left not only with the mystery of what their prank could have been, but also with the fact that apparently the girls had come up with a prank so dangerously good, the Ministry of Magic had had to be involved.
If Professor McGonagall would play her part, nothing could go wrong. Even if something would leak, the boys would never believe it. It was all too absurd. And there was no way they would figure out that they had got a Professor as far as to help them; they themselves having gotten on the wrong side of their head of house far too often.
`I think we better get going, Professor.` Lily said, standing up; Mary and Lily following her example.
`Right.` McGonagall pushed her glasses up her nose.
Before Mary pulled the door shut behind them, Lily and Marlene already stalking along the corridor, the older witch spoke again, `Oh, Miss Macdonald,` Mary turned around to look back at her. `Make sure you get them good.`
Mary smirked and to her surprise Professor McGonagall smiled back.
***
Monday April 1st 1974
`Just tell me!` Sirius pleaded, hanging over his bowl of porridge, almost clasping onto Lily`s hands.
`No.` she replied primly, taking a bite from her thickly buttered toast.
`Mary!` Sirius almost cried. `You`ll tell me won`t you?`
Mary shook her head and sipped her coffee.
`McKinnon?!`
But Marlene ignored him and buried herself behind the Daily Prophet.
`Please, Evans.` James started to beg now. `I`ll do everything for you!`
`Everything?`
`Everything!`
`Will you leave me alone?` Lily raised her eyebrows and James` face fell. `No? Oh well, too bad.`
Peter snorted some of his pumpkin juice from his nose and Remus started to pound on his back to avoid him chocking on his own spit.
Mary gave Lily an almost unnoticeable wink and Lily bit the insides of her cheeks to stop herself from laughing. Their April Fools prank was truly the best one they could have come up with. They were basically allowed to mentally torture Potter and Black for a couple of days. And if they did it right, they would make them wonder in uncertainty until the day they died. It was a bit unfortunate that Remus was also being kept in the dark, Lily would have loved to have him in on it. But, she did understand that it was for the better.
Tucking back into her toast, teeth sinking into the yeasty dough, Lily suddenly got the pressing feeling that she was being watched, as if a Pogrebin was somewhere in her wake; that awful feeling that there was something boring into her back, crawling along her spine. The feeling was not only excluded to those magical creatures, but something that came with every living thing. Though the phenomenon had been disproven by psychologist as being something tangible, Lily felt that there must be some truth in it. Slowly she turned around to see Severus staring at her from the Slytherin table and she gave a wave. He waved back hesitantly and turned red, looking at his plate.
Something that neither one of them had thought about when coming up with the prank - though in hindsight they really should have - was that it wouldn`t just keep to the boys of Gryffindor tower. Within a couple of days nearly the whole school seemed to be aware that they were planning something. Which was a logical consequence, seeing as, while Remus was the master mystery keeper, Potter and Black weren`t really people to keep secrets. Apparently Sirius had even tried to weasel information out of Severus, obviously without result. Which meant that Severus now was also asking questions, and he proved to be a lot harder to avoid than their initially intended victims. Though, Lily didn`t really like to use the word `victim`; they weren`t actually harming them.
`What`s Snape staring at?` Mary asked, sitting across from Lily, peering past the latter`s shoulder.
`I think he`s just mad I won`t let him in on our prank.` Lily rolled her eyes.
`Oohh, you`re not even letting your boyfriend in on your secret?` Sirius asked mockingly; looking intrigued.
`Sev, is not my boyfriend.` Lily bit annoyed and Remus shortly caught her eye, which made her stomach flip and she swallowed hard.
Though Severus being aware of their `prank` wasn`t all that helpful, what did prove to be an added bonus was the fact that there were now all sorts of rumours floating about. And those rumours only seemed to make the boys more and more curious. Well, Potter and Black at least, Remus was keeping silent and impassive as always. It was so hard to read what he was thinking or feeling at any given time; after almost three years, Remus still felt like so much of a mystery. Which made him all the more alluring; he was a puzzle Lily wanted to solve.
There was a loud bang and Peeves, the poltergeist, swooped into the Great Hall, honking noisily as he started to pelt the students with all sorts of objects; fire crackers going off left and right. He`d already set fire to a painting earlier that morning, the screeching of the painted figures waking the entire castle.
This rambunctious eruption of ruckus was the perfect opportunity for the girls to leave the table, going almost unnoticed, taking their books with them to their first lesson of the day. In the distance they could still hear shrieks coming out of the hall as they trotted along the corridor.
Their first lesson was History of Magic. Lily, Marlene and Mary took their usual seats and started unloading their books as the ghostly Professor Binns sat half asleep behind his desk.
`I do wonder when the boys will set off their dungbombs.` Mary mused as she chewed on the end of her quill.
The marauders were planning on setting off some dungbombs at some point during the day. The fact that they had told them, despite the fact that the three of them would not let anything loose about their own prank, just proved how bad they were at keeping any of their pranks to themselves. No wonder they were always in detention.
The question didn`t live long, for barely ten minutes into their lesson a truly revolting smell wafted through the air and the students started too gag and splutter as they tried to seek refuge. Lily buried her nose in her robes and tried to breath through her mouth as Mary pulled a couple of masks from the hospital wing out of her bag and handed them to both her and Marlene.
Some students took use of the situation to leave the classroom, either by door or by clambering through an open window. Professor Binns went on undisturbed, for he was a ghost and had no sense of smell.
Out in the hallway, after class, Sirius slapped James against the side of his head, `He`s a ghost you wanker. Couldn`t have waited until Potions, could you? Old Sluggy does have a nose.`
James rubbed the side of his head pained, shooting a sheepish grin at Lily who rolled her eyes at him and turned away, flicking her hair over her shoulder.
They set off for their next lesson, the boys trailing them. Evidently they`d set it their mission to observe their every move; trying to decipher what they were going to do.
Lily whispered something unintelligible in Marlene`s ear and shot her an meaningful look; making sure it wouldn`t go unnoticed.
`What did you tell her!?` Sirius yelped, running after them. `Come on! Tell me!`
He went on like that all the way throughout Potions until Professor Slughorn had to threaten him with a detention if he wouldn`t stop disrupting his class.
When they packed their bags, Mary pretended that she was stuffing something very secretive into her bookbag and James stared at her so openly distraught that Lily had to smother a laugh in her hands as she hid behind a cauldron, taking Marlene down with her.
Peter looked positively gloating as his small eyes skittered between the other three confused boys. It was apparent that he too was thoroughly enjoying this.
In the evening, after dinner, the girls settled down in the common room on one of the couches. Lily putting her hair up with her wand as she started reading their newly set assignment for Charms.
James and Sirius were practically begging them on their knees at this point; sitting on the rug as they pleaded them to reveal their devious plan. The girls just shrugged and giggled; that wasn`t hard. Remus was sitting in a nearby armchair, looking in amusement at his friends; no doubt also slightly enjoying this.
At that moment the portrait flung open and Professor McGonagall stalked into the common room with billowing robes and a grave expression on her face. The entire room hushed.
`Miss Evans, Miss Macdonald and Miss McKinnon,` she said sharply. `If you`ll please follow me.`
Oh, she was doing her part well; Lily thought.
The three girls scrambled up from the couch, trying to look terrified, which wasn`t all that hard, seeing as the head of house was rather intimidating. The boys stared after them as they followed the green robed witch towards her office.
The next half an hour the three girls spent drinking tea and eating biscuits in McGonagall’s office, which was a lot more pleasant than Lily had expected. Professor McGonagall was in an exceptionally good mood and was even able to laugh as they gave her a report of their endeavours so far.
`What did McGonagall want!` Sirius demanded immediately as they re-entered the common room, James, Remus and Peter trailing him; Peter looking like he might burst from excitement.
`We can`t tell.` Lily replied, trying to look serious.
`Not more secrets!` Sirius exclaimed exasperated. `Moony, you convince them!`
Remus shrugged.
`We can`t tell you.` Mary replied, sounding extremely grave. `We`d get in trouble with the Ministry.`
`Of Magic!?` James eyes widened.
`No, dingus,` Mary furrowed her brow. `Yeah, of course the Ministry of Magic, who else?`
`Merlin.`
James, Sirius and Remus were staring at them in disbelieve. If Peter wasn`t subjected to gravity he would probably float up to the sky; Lily though.
`Has this…has this…` James faltered perplexed. `Something to do with your prank? Is it off then?`
The three of them just raised their eyebrows and turned to walk towards the dormitories; trying to look as glum as possible. Lily ferociously biting the insides of her cheeks.
When they had slammed the door behind them and Lily had cast a silencing charm on the dorm, the three of them erupted in cries of glee; whooping and jumping around the room.
`Did you see Black`s face!` Marlene cried. `Brilliant.`
Lily was wheezing with laughter, thinking about how much like a lost puppy James had looked.
`We done good girls.` Mary cried, chocking on her laughter.
It took them almost an hour to regain their composure. Every time one of them had stopped laughing, they would look at eachother and fresh peels of laughter would echo off the walls again.
///