Third Year, Winter Break
Late December 1973
There was a radio perched on the register, loudly and quite jarringly blearing Slade`s Merry Xmas Everybody; the reception was rather bad and the music kept being interjected by a disruptive crackling noise. Mary was waiting for her mother by the checkout register, leafing through a magazine while the gum-chewing lady behind the till eyed her wearily. It was busy in the supermarket; everybody hastily running their last minute errands before the holidays. Between her legs, on the grubby tiles, Mary had put down her shopping basket. She`d promised to help her mother prepare for their Christmas dinner. Seeing as Gabi was too busy with schoolwork, it came down to Mary as the second eldest daughter to help out in the kitchen - their mother didn`t trust her brothers anywhere near a knife.
`Alright.` a low, yet still boyish voice called out to her.
Mary looked up from her magazine, staring straight into the grinning face of the boy that had bought her and her sister ice-creams over the summer; she grinned back. In the months that had passed since she`d last seen him, he`d broadened and gotten even taller than he`d already been.
`Mary, right?` he said, grazing the back of his head, fingers raking through his tightly coiled curls.
The addition of the uncertainty seemed solely for his benefit. The way he had said her name, with such familiarity, made it feel like it had crossed his mind before.
`Yeah.` she smiled, nodding, catching his dark pondlike eyes. She wasn`t going to say his name; it would immediately reveal that he had crossed her mind too. Darren smirked back at her, his cheeks dimpling.
`Haven`t seen you around lately.` he said. It wasn`t a question exactly; more so a statement.
`Been at school.` Mary replied.
`Right.` Darren mulled. `Boarding school then?`
`Could say so.` Mary raised her eyebrows. It was always hard to not let too much loose about Hogwarts without working herself in a tangled up web of lies.
`You could say so?` Darren asked teasingly, evidently trying to get her to reveal more.
Mary cocked an amused eyebrow, `Are you interrogating me?`
`You are being mysterious.` Darren smirked. `Aren`t I allowed to ask questions?`
`I feel like I`m at the zoo.`
`The zoo is fun.`
`Hmm.` Mary smirked and narrowed her eyes.
`People like zoos.`
`Not all people.`
`Do you like the zoo?`
Mary shrugged her shoulders and stared up at Darren, scanning his broad face. He had an open and inviting expression; easy going, comfortable, unpretentious. Mary felt her stomach start to tingle.
`Well what do you like?` Darren implored, taking his teeth over his bottom lip, Mary stared at them; his lips. `You must like dancing.`
`What is it to you?` she asked boldly, batting her eyelashes.
`Well, if I was to take you out I`d wanted to do something you would like too.` Darren grinned shyly.
Mary stared at him in astonishment. She hesitated for a moment; what about Sirius? However, the two of them had never actually gone out on a date. It was hardly betrayal when you never committed to something in the first place. Besides, what harm could one date do?
`Sure, I like dancing.` she replied, her cheeks turning hot; her whole spirit positively vibrating.
`Good.` Darren raked the back of his hair again, nervously, his eyes still holding hers.
Her mother came towards them, pushing a trolley, Shamar sitting up in front. Quickly Mary put the magazine she had been reading back on the shelf and straightened up; the cashier tutted loudly at her putting the magazine back. Darren straightened up as well, smiling at her mother as he swiftly adjusted his already neat coat.
`Darren!` Mary`s mother exclaimed. `How good to see you! How`s your ma?`
`She is fine, thank you.` Darren smiled back; ever polite.
`Give her my love, will you?`
`Of course.` Darren nodded.
Mary was nervously fidgeting with the seam of her skirt; she knew she had to ask her mother for permission to go out with Darren at some point. Better now than pushing it out in front of her; she supposed. After all, she`d only be in London for about two more weeks; better not waste any time.
`Mudda?` Mary asked timidly. `Erm..` she faltered as her mother’s face turned serious, frown lines forming above her nose. Darren shot her a smile, one of his front teeth was slightly overlapping the other, it gave the symmetry of his otherwise neat smile something interesting; imperfectly human. That gave her the final push. `Is it okay if Darren takes me dancing sometime?`
Her mother`s face turned from gravity to surprise; a smile curling about her lips, splitting her face like ripe fruit. Mary knew all her mother wanted for her was to find someone who would respect her and treat her right; Darren certainly was the type of person that both her parents would approve of. Opposing to Sirius. It would certainly make her older sister happy, who had been expressing her concerns about Sirius ever since she`d heard of his existence.
When they left the store, Mary shot one last glance back, and seeing that Darren was still staring at her, she adjusted her earring, hiding a smile in the palm of her hand.
Darren called her on the phone as soon as she arrived back at the flat. As they discussed their plans, Mary kept wondering what expression his face was wearing on the other side of the phone. During Mass the following day she wasn`t able to think about anything else but Darren; her eyes darting over to his pew; wondering if he too was thinking of her. It made her head reel how little she knew about him and how much she wanted to know.
The dancehall was at walking distance from both their council flats. Darren offered her his coat when he noticed she was shivering; which trilled Mary utterly. Despite it being one of those empty days between Christmas and New Year, the dancehall was rather crowded.
It appeared that Darren was quite nervous, he kept glancing at her sideways, licking his lips or adjusting his clothing. Mary had been incredibly anxious upon the prospect of her first actual date and it was reassuring to know that she wasn`t alone in this.
However, once the initial ice had broken, it surprised her how easy it was to spent time with Darren. It felt like they instantly fit together. Mary teased him about his terrible dancing and tried to learn him how to twist. His hands were calloused and rough, but surprisingly gentle when they gripped hers, twirling her around in circles. There were plenty of pretty girls on the dancefloor, yet Darren didn`t take his eyes of her once. In return she herself was unable to tear her eyes away from his face; he had a birthmark on his neck that bobbed along as he laughed. He had an open thundering laugh; one that made you want to join in, even if there was nothing to be laughing about.
They were walking back towards their block, Mary once again wearing his coat. Darren had promised Mary`s parents that he would bring her back no later than ten o`clock, and they were sticking strictly to that curfew. In front of their building, Mary lingered in the doorway, hesitating to put her key in the lock; she didn`t want the evening to be over. It had been lovely; better than she`d dared to hope. The two of them were standing very close together and Mary could practically feel her heart hammering in her throat.
Darren had his hands thrust into his pockets as he glanced at her nervously.
`Is it…` he started and faltered. `May I kiss you?` It was such an innocent question, a polite invitation almost, that it made Mary smile.
`Yes, you may.`
Darren cupped her head in both his hands, the rough pads of his fingers grazing just behind her ears, as he gently kissed her lips. It couldn`t have been longer than a couple of seconds, but Mary felt herself melt away, as if the structure of time had turned gloopy. She had to stand slightly on her toes to reach him as she kissed him back, lingering, his lips slightly minty, her keys loosely in the palm of her hand.
She pulled back and giggled, looking shyly at the ground; he did the same.
`I`ll call you tomorrow, Mary.` he said and kissed her cheek, briefly, chastely.
`Yes, you will.` Mary said, her whole body feeling hot. She unlocked the door; Darren waited until she was inside before he retreated.
Mary peeped through the gap in the door, watching his wide legged gait as he walked away, her heart soaring as he looked back not once, but twice.
***
Tuesday December 25th 1973
The retirement home smelled like cleaning agent and old people; fresh and tangy at the same time, a hint of pine sprinkled in between. Some doors had reefs on them, others were sparsely decorated with festively coloured ornaments. There were fairy lights strung around the poles that separated the large white space; trying to make the clinical place feel cosy or comforting. A shiver went up Lily`s spine. She would hate to life in a place like this; it sucked all the life out of you. And she supposed that a lot of the people here didn`t have that much life left anyway.
Petunia was walking beside her, her shoulders drawn up to her ears, her long coat practically swamping her; she looked highly uncomfortable. There were speakers mounted on the walls in the communal room, old-timey Christmas tunes softly playing; probably to make the inhabitants feel more at home. Lily clutched the present she was holding tightly to her chest; it was a plaid she`d crochet herself.
Her grandmother, her mother`s mum, had been located to a hospice only a month ago. She`d been living on her own for a while after her granddad had passed away. It had been going alright for a while, but her mind seemed to be deteriorating at an increasing speed. So, after she`d almost set the house on fire by leaving on the stove, her mother had decided it would be for the best to move her out of that big lonely house.
Of course, her grandmother had protested greatly. She still had a lot of spunk for her age and had thrived her whole life on her supposed independence. Lily`s mother had told her that she`d already caused some great havoc in her short period in the nursing home; concerning the staff as well as the other inhabitants.
`We won`t stay too long, right?` Petunia asked, pointedly. `Raymond promised he`d call me.`
`I`m not promising anything.` her mother replied, pointedly looking out in front of her at the seemingly never ending white hallway.
Raymond was the boy Petunia had been seeing as of late; Lily had met him at Christmas. He`d been rather boring in Lily`s humble opinion, and she wasn`t sure it would last; Petunia need to be intellectually challenged. Raymond was about as exiting as a damp mop, with just as much emotional intelligence.
The room they need to be at was the one at the end of the hall. Their parents led the way, softly knocking before opening the door.
`Nanna!` Lily cried upon seeing her grandmother sitting in a squashy armchair near the window; she`d been allowed to keep some of her own furniture.
Lily hurried towards the shrunken old lady and threw her arms around her; it had been long since she`d last seen her.
`My, how you`ve grown.` her grandmother smiled dotingly, holding onto Lily`s arms. `Step back so I can take a good look at you, love.`
Lily stepped back, almost knocking into Petunia, who stood lingering at her side, unsure of herself.
`You`re growing into a proper little lady!` her grandmother clasped her hands together. `You`re almost just as tall as your sister. Hello dear, how are you?` Her grandmother hugged Petunia.
`I`m fine thanks, Nan.` Petunia smiled, some of the tension in her face resolving, the blue vein on her forehead no longer so prominent.
It was true, Lily was almost as tall as Petunia by now, despite the latter being three years older. It felt to Lily as if Petunia was shrinking the older she got; every time Lily saw her sister again, it was like she was taking up less space, retracting into the background. It worried her greatly.
`How are you mum.` Lily`s mother kissed her own mother on both cheeks and her father did the same.
`Oh you know,` the old woman sighed, her wrinkled skin falling loosely off her features. `Still locked up. But…I have my ways.` she winked at her granddaughters.
`Mum, you can`t just take off again.` her mother sighed. `I got phoned that you just wandered off the premises.`
`And why not?` she huffed, raising her eyebrows defiantly. `I`m a free agent.`
Lily stifled a giggle and Petunia met her eyes, the corner of her mouth twitching. They both knew it wasn`t really a laughing matter, though it was a little bit funny; one had to admit.
There was a real Christmas tree standing in a corner of the room. The inhabitants weren`t allowed to have real plants in the hospice, but Lily supposed her grandmother could care less, and the staff certainly had more pressing worries on their mind; like their residents walking away.
Lily had to help her grandmother unwrap her gift, seeing as her hands were trembling so much that she couldn`t get the ribbons off. Her parents left the room to go and look for some extra chairs, Petunia went into the bathroom after having donned her coat; Lily was momentarily left alone with her grandmother.
`Lily, dear?` her grandmother put a big knuckled wrinkly hand on her shoulder. `Is everything all right with your sister?`
Lily bit her bottom lip, looking at the plaid, `I don`t know.` she answered honestly. She shook her head. `I don`t know. I know very little. She won`t write to me while I`m at school…and well she doesn`t really talk that much when I am here. And mum and dad seem to kind of…I don`t know.`
Her grandmother nodded; green eyes cloudy from old age. Petunia re-entered the room and her grandmothers solemn face turned into a beaming smile.
`Lily, do us some magic will you?` her grandmother said, patting her knee.
Beside her immediate family, her grandmother was the only person who knew that Lily was away at Hogwarts during the school year. Lily wasn`t sure what the statute of secrecy said about grandparents knowing about their grandchildren being magical. But she supposed it couldn`t hurt that her grandmother knew. She was already surprised that the lady had remembered; her memory was as fleeting as the first snow. Moreover, who was going to believe her if she told them that her granddaughter was a witch?
`Nanna.` Lily blushed. `I`m not allowed. I can`t do magic out of school until I`m of age.`
Her grandmother blew a raspberry. `Och, rubbish.`
Lily laughed and Petunia had pulled up a chair, sitting next to Lily, her bag on her lap.
`All these old bitties here are so boring, you two little ladies are truly my only excitement.` she sighed, smiling dotingly at Lily and Petunia.
`Haven`t you made any friends, Nan?` Petunia asked.
Her grandmother shook her head, `It`s awfully lonely here. They never tell you getting old is this isolating.` She stared out the window, her murky eyes following a bird.
`Let me tell you something girls,` she lowered her voice and bent forward. `Whatever you do in life – no matter what – make sure that you two got eachother. Never let anyone take that away; you hear? School is important, making a living for yourself is important. But never -and I repeat- never underestimate the power of sheer love.`
The wrinkly hands grabbed onto both of them; the green eyes intently penetrating theirs. Lily grabbed onto Petunia`s bird-boned hand and squeezed; feeling her squeeze back.
***
Monday December 31st 1973
Their Hogmanay celebration had only just set off and Marlene was already feeling like the night had lasted long enough. While normally almost their whole family and most of the neighbours attended the festivities her mother hosted, this year the turnout was sparse; less and less people seemed to be in the mood to celebrate or come together in large gatherings.
The people who had come were grouped together in small circles, whispering ominously among eachother; checking their surroundings every so often as to make sure there would be no one listening in. A couple of times, Marlene heard the name of the new wizard politician muttered among the adults; or more so his alias. Apparently wizards and witches who weren`t siding with him in the new elections had taken on calling him You-know-who; as if his name was something to be scared of. Among his supporters he was known as the Dark Lord; she`d heard some of the Slytherins whisper about him in the hallways at Hogwarts. It was rumoured that the man himself – whose real name Marlene still didn`t know – had attended the Black`s Christmas party. More she didn`t know; and quite frankly more she didn`t want to know. She had enough of her own problems to be worrying about at the moment.
She`d barely been home for a day when she`d already gotten into a huge spat with her mother. Her midterm results had been less than satisfactory; at least to her mother`s standards. She`d mostly gotten `Acceptable` marks in all her subjects – a few exceptions at that- which technically meant that she had passed every single one of her classes. Yet, her mother`s standards lay a little bit higher than that. Danny had always gotten exceptionally good marks and her mother had excelled in her days at Hogwarts. Hence, everything that fell below was met with a glare or a sigh. At the end of her second year she`d already been reprimanded for not getting better results, and now with the prospect of OWL qualifications getting closer and closer, her mother was significantly screwing up the pressure.
Her mother blamed Marlene`s bad grades on the fact that she was on the quidditch team. She`d always been highly opposed to Marlene playing quidditch and had been furious when Danny had started teaching her to fly in secret. Her mother thought the sport to dangerous and violent; not a sport for girls to be playing. Still, she`d been able to turn a blind eye since Marlene supposed she`d never expected her daughter actually to push through with it and get on the team. Luckily, she`d been generous enough to not bar her completely. However, now it felt like she was trying to find the first opportunity to pull Marlene off the team.
Obviously she`d started crying, which had made her stepdad start yelling at her and her mother, which had made her mother icily cold against the both of them. Danny hadn`t been there to help, so it had been just Marlene against the two off them. In the end she`d been able to convince them to give her time and promised them that she would do better this term. Though neither of them had brought the argument up afterwards, the atmosphere in the house had been freezing. Her mother and stepdad barely uttered a word to Marlene - or eachother for that matter. The only sweet release had been her brother; trying to cheer her up with stories about his time touring with the Cannons around Europe. While it had certainly cheered her up to extend, it had also made her deeply morose that quidditch was a given for him and for her it was something she had to cling onto with all her might, for it might get taken away at a moments notice.
Marlene swung her legs back and forth as she sat on a table in a corner of the room, picking at her nails, the bow that her mother had put in her hair irritating the back of her neck. She chewed listlessly on a strand of hair that had come lose from her ponytail, staring though the glass doors onto the patio. A portion of the guest had migrated outside to preform some ritualistic spells on the crop for the coming year. There was a large bonfire on the lawn and they were supposed to start the bulk of the ceremony in a bit. Marlene wasn`t very much feeling like it; the last thing she wanted to do now was to gut a sheep for offering. However, her mother insisted on keeping to some of the ancient Celtic traditions.
Her mother swooped in from outside, her mouth contorted into a tight visage.
`Marlene, don`t sit aon the table.` she pressed urgently as she passed Marlene, barely looking at her. `And fix yer hair.`
Marlene bit down on her lip, tasting blood, but obeyed and hopped off the table, searching for a different stake-out spot in the room. As a means of rebellion, she did not fix her hair, but purposefully pulled out an extra strand from her ponytail.
The fire was blazing in the fireplace and Marlene stretched her legs to warm her feet to the flames. Her stepdad was slumped in a chair opposite of her, seemingly only half paying attention to the man who was talking to him as he started at Marlene. His hand was loosely gripped around a half empty glass of firewhiskey; his eyes were glassy and red rimmed, his entire face puffy and droopy.
Marlene lost her complete attention to the flames licking the wood, casting whimsical shadows against the backsplash. Out of nowhere there was the shattering of glass and when she looked up she saw her stepdad had dropped his glass to the floor, the carpet soaking wet. He was swearing loudly as he got unsteadily out of his chair; the entire living room staring at him as he unsuccessfully tried to mop up the mess with his wand. Her mother came hurrying in and pulled him up by his arm, all the while hissing angry in his ear as he kept swearing.
`Yer making a spectacle.` she hissed. `Get yerself together. Yer embarrassing everyone here.`
Marlene was furiously biting her nails and wished she could somehow get away. Feverishly she scanned the room to find Danny, but he was nowhere to be seen.
`Oooh, I`m embarrassing the guest? That is very rich of o ye.` her stepdad slurred back, waving his arms frantically to maintain balance. `Who here is embarrassed?`
The room kept quiet, you could have heard a needle drop.
`HA! Just as Ah though!` he cried triumphantly, `The only person I`m embarrassing is yerself!` he pointed a finger in her mother’s face, who was not displaying any emotion. `Oooh, phoeey!` he pouted his lips.
For a man who always reprimanded Marlene for being too emotional, he certainly knew how to throw a banging tantrum.
`Let`s not do this now.` her mother shushed. The guest still all staring at them.
`Who cares!` he slurred drunkenly. `Were moving anyway. Nobody here will care. HA!`
Marlene`s eyes turned wide. Alright, so this was how it was going to go.
`Kitchen. Now.` Marlene`s mother pulled her stepdad along by his arm, cleaning up the broken glass with a flick of her wand. `Marlene.` she pressed, urging her to come along.
With her head bent to the floor Marlene scurried after her parents; feeling the eyes of the guests bore in her back. Marlene felt sorry for her mother; maybe for the first time ever.
`Did ye know were moving?` her stepdad slurred, addressing Marlene, a trembling finger pointed at her. `Ah bet yer mammmy didnea tell ye, eh?` he laughed. `She`s getting scared. Feart we`re going to get ourselves murdurred.` he widened his eyes mockingly.
Marlene had started tearing up now and was biting down hard on not only her nails, but the entire tips of her fingers.
`Stop yer crying.` he spat at her. `Yer getting me wound up.`
Her mother wasn`t saying anything. The kitchen door opened again and Danny stepped in.
`What`s going on?` he asked, looking from the one to the other.
The conversation that followed was practically a repeat of the one that Marlene had overheard the year before. Their mother explaining to them how it would be saver if they would find a new place to live in the near future and make it unplottable. It would be the best for everyone, seeing the political climate.
Later that evening, the new year only minutes away, the party somewhat restored, Marlene was sitting on the stairs with Danny; away from all the bustle.
She was still wiping away tears, trying to gauge what had happened.
`Ye really need to thicken yer skin, Marls.` Danny said, an arm around her. `Ye can`t let everything get to ye like this.`
`I ken. I ken.` Marlene nodded, sniffing.
Merlin, she knew she had to keep herself standing, certainly at a time like this. But how could she; at a time like this? With Auld Lang Syne reverberating from the living room, the old year slowly bled into the new.
///