First Year, When it rains it pours
Monday January 3rd 1972
The Christmas decorations had been removed from the castle and the grey empty winter months stood looming in the doorway. Yet, Lily returned to Hogwarts with a spring in her step. Her rekindling with Petunia over the Christmas break made even the bitterest cold bearable, and it was dire cold at that.
The first day of their second semester started off with Charms, they were moving onto softening charms. Lily had been feverishly reading the theory over break, determined to keep her spot as top Charms student. However, much to her consternation, it had been Remus who had been the first one to be able to make his brick bounce. She had noticed the wiry boy participating more in class recently. He even raised his hand to answer questions, something that before had very much been her designated job. It bothered her less when Remus beat her at something than when Sirius or James did so. Lily had a thirst to prove those two boys that she was just as good -if not better- at magic as they were. Much to her relieve, Lily was still the second student to be able to make her brick loose its hard exterior and soften up, before bouncing away over the floor.
The whole morning was a good one. Lily, Mary and Marlene caught up on their happenings over the break and they excitedly told eachother what they had been gifted. The afternoon kicked off with a Potions lesson. It was then that things started to go south.
Before Christmas they had had to turn in a midterm essay on the twelve uses of Dragon blood. To both their surprises Marlene, as well as Mary, had got acceptable marks on theirs. They had been anxiously nagging about that particular essay for weeks now. As always, Severus got the highest mark of the class, earning him five points for Slytherin. And to her uttermost delight, Lily came in second, earning her one house point for Gryffindor. She grinned widely as she showed Severus her mark and he patted her back shyly.
Suddenly she heard a cough behind her followed by, `Wonder if it`s worth cosying up to Snivellus just for one measly house point.`
Lily spun around to look into the scorning face of Sirius, blue eyes staring at her mockingly. She could feel her cheeks turn red from both embarrassment and anger. She always did her own work, she never let Sev help her, even if he offered her to do so. It was a matter of pride. The fact that she had done good on her essay, was purely because she had put in the work, not because she had been cosying up to Severus.
`Shut up, Black,` Lily hissed under her breath. `Nobody likes a sore loser.` It was very evident Sirius was just jealous.
`Hardly loosing when your boyfriend lets you copy his work.` the boy whispered back, a hint of acidity in his voice.
At this comment, Lily could feel her face get even redder. She hated how often people assumed she fancied Severus. They were friends, why wasn`t that enough of an explanation?
`I do not copy him, and Severus is not my boyfriend!` she spat back.
`You`re blushing Evans,` Sirius grinned, and nudged James as he added, `Isn`t that sweet?` James started chuckling and nodding along with the raven haired boy.
Without turning his head to look at her, Severus whispered, `Ignore them, Lily. They`re just jealous.` Lily bit the inside of her cheek.
`Jealous of what Snivellus? James spoke up. `Jealous of a slimy greasy git like you? Keep dreaming.`
Any sympathy Lily had been able to monster up when working with James in Transfigurations, now disappeared and she vowed to loathe both of them forever.
Now, Peter was laughing along too, and Lily wanted the ground to swallow her whole. How come she always seemed to get stuck between them when they were taking it out on eachother? Feverishly, she shot a glance at Professor Slughorn, but the Potions master seemed oblivious to the commotion. He was a rather lousy teacher to miss this, Lily thought. She tried to find Mary and Marlene across the classroom, but the two of them also didn`t seem aware of what was happening in her corner.
Next to her, Severus turned to face the other boys, Lily barely dared to lift her gaze from her paper, scared at what he might say.
`I heard you had a very quiet Christmas, Black. You`re family couldn`t stand to have you around for more than a few days before packing you off back to school, is that right?` Severus` voice was full of malice and venom, Lily hated it when he got like this. `All of the pureblood families are talking about it – the Black`s black sheep.` as he said this, his lip curled this into an awful grimace.
Lily could feel her stomach churn and her heart started hammering against her ribs like a caged bird. This could never end well. She didn`t know what had happened to Sirius over the holidays, but she knew this ought to sting.
`Shut. Your. Face.` Sirius growled. Lily could see his knuckles turn white and she was scared he might just hit Severus.
James joined in, `Yeah, watch it, Snape.` There was a deep furrow above his glasses. `You`d better be careful what you say. Never know what might happen.`
Lily flinched involuntarily at this and clutched the side of her desk.
`Is that a tread Potter?` Severus responded, drawling. `Forgive me if I`m not quaking in my boots. Going to set Loony Lupin on me again?`
Reflectively Lily looked at Remus, and she saw his face fall and something of painful recognition ripple across his face. What had Remus had to do in all of this? Why was Severus including him in his malice? It was like he was going in for the full kill.
She saw Remus grab his wand off the table and Severus said scornfully, `Oh my, have you actually learnt some magic, Lupin? I`m impressed. Mind you, I`ve heard they can train monkeys to preform basic tricks, so I suppose it`s no real achievement.`
Remus raised his wand, but Sirius pulled his arm back down, muttering something to the other boy.
Evidently, Severus decided he was done pestering the other boys and he turned back around, his face dark like a menacing thundercloud.
`No need to be so horrid to him!` she whispered angrily at him. She could feel tears burning behind her eyes, but she was resolved not to cry. Not again. It would only make things worse.
It was moments like these that she started to see why Mary kept questioning her about her reasons for why she was still friends with Severus. Because in moments like these, when his only goal seemed to be to do as much harm to someone as possible, she frankly didn`t know why she was.
She supposed James and Sirius had deserved it, since they had started harassing them first. But Remus had had nothing to do with it, the boy had just sat quietly next to the others. Besides, it had been an terrifically vile thing to call Remus, and she was certain it hadn`t been the first time he had heard himself being called Loony Lupin.
After class, she didn`t know how soon to get away. Her high spirits of the morning had been squashed there in the dark of the dungeons and she needed air.
***
It was Lily who told her what had happened during Potions and Marlene felt bad for not having noticed it while it had been happening. She had been too busy being happy about the mark on her essay on the twelve uses of Dragon blood. Now, she felt selfish for not being there for Lily. It came across to have been an awful affair.
Even when they were walking down to the Great Hall for dinner, it seemed like Lily was still sunken deeply in thought. Marlene wished she could read her mind or know how to console her.
They took their usual spot at the Gryffindor Table, close to the other first years. It was Shepherd’s pie for dinner and even though Marlene felt ravenous, it was as though a knot in her stomach was prohibiting her from eating, and she kept glancing sideways at Lily, who looked like she was on the verge of tears. Mary tried to keep it breezy and kept chatting loudly above the clattering of cutlery. Despite this, it still seemed like a giant thundercloud was hanging above their heads, ready to burst.
Marlene looked up when she heard something, and noticed Snape and some other Slytherin students laughing and pointing at their table. Severus seemed to be mouthing something in their general direction, but she couldn`t quite make out what it was. It seemed like Lily was able to decipher it, for when James and Sirius started scowling back at them, she suddenly sprung up.
`You lot just leave Sev, alone, ok?` she said, her voice high pitched.
To the untrained eye, it might have looked like Lily was sticking up for her friend. However, Marlene knew better. Lily was trying to end the endless back and forth of malice between the two groups.
`This stupid fight is going on forever of none of you can be mature enough to-` Lily continued but was cut off.
`Give it a rest Evans,` James rolled his eyes. It was obvious that his comment was meant to be playful, but Marlene knew Lily wouldn`t take it that way and she wanted to spring up to hit the bespectacled boy smack across his annoying face.
`Bad enough you have to be friends with the tosser, now you`re trying to defend him? Where`s your house loyalty, eh?`
Marlene gripped Lily`s hand. This wasn`t about house loyalty. This was about something deeper and they all knew it, even if no one was going to acknowledge it.
`This has nothing to do with houses!` Lily snapped and gripped Marlene fingers tighter. `It`s a ridiculous spat over nothing.`
`He insulted Remus!`
`You pick on him all the time!`
`He started it!`
Now everyone was yelling over top of eachother and they were evidently attracting attention. Mary shot Marlene a concerned look and cowered back a little. If there would be an opening to go back up to the dorm, the three of them would take it. This wasn`t something they ought to be responsible for. Lily was trying to do the right thing and got shit for it.
`Oh yeah, so you have to finish it, right, Potter?!` there was more than anger in Lily`s voice, almost disappointment. `God you`re so full of yourselves!`
Lily picked her bag up from the bench and towed Marlene behind her as she walked away, both their shoes clicking on the flagstones. Mary hurried behind them.
They took a seat on the far end of the Gryffindor table, far away from the boys. Lily`s eyes were rimmed red and she was breathing heavily. Mary put an arm around her, and Marlene kept holding onto her hand, it felt like the only thing she would be able to do to keep Lily from sinking away. Sweet, sweet Lily.
`Do you want to leave?` Mary whispered.
Lily nodded and Marlene already stood up, when the commotion started again. First, there was a low roll of thunder and Marlene looked around, trying to find the source. Initially, she though it was just the sky of the Great Hall erupting. But when she spotted Snape, all became clear.
A giant and dark cloud was hovering above the boy, pouring down rain onto him. Snape tried to run away, but the cloud kept following him. Marlene almost felt sorry for him. The Hall erupted in laughter as the boy kept getting wetter, his hair plastering to his face and his robes clinging to his wiry body.
Lily wasn`t laughing and she screamed overtop the laughter of the others, `Stop it!` she was looking directly at James. `I know it`s you! Stop it!`
Marlene got anxious as James held up his hands to show Lily he wasn`t the perpetrator. Who else would it be? Lily was almost crying again and Marlene and Mary were trying to pull her down on the bench.
The thunder seemed to swell and the rain kept pelting down. Severus broke into a run. The soaking wet boy slipped, fell and collapsed onto the flagstones. Marlene gasped.
`Stop it! Please!` Lily was sobbing hard now, and Marlene couldn`t help but join in a little bit.
The laughter ebbed away and there rose a chorus of concerned whispers. Marlene and Mary were both holding onto Lily, who seemed like she might just collapse as well. Severus might have been a slimy prick, but this was taking it too far. They were killing him at this rate.
Suddenly a voice boomed, `FINITE.` Followed by a deafening silence.
The rain and thunder seized and in the entranceway stood Dumbledore, all flowing white hair and parchment wrinkled skin. Marlene almost let out a sigh of relieve and she felt Lily shudder beneath her arm. Mary was holding a fold of Marlene`s robes between her fingers, holding onto her as a life line.
With a swift wave of his wand, the headmaster was able to make the water and cloud disappear. It marvelled Marlene how incredibly calm and contained Dumbledore was able to remain in such chaos. There was no trace of panic on his face, only utter serenity.
Professor Dumbledore swept into the Great Hall, his robes billowing behind him. He crouched down next to the boy, who lay sprawled out on the flagstones, his eyes still closed. It was unclear whether Snape was faking it to make whoever had been casting the spell to stop, or whether he was actually hurt. Even though Marlene loathed Snape, she desperately hoped that the first was the case. It was one thing to pull pranks on eachother, it was in a whole other league to deliberately hurt someone else, with something else than only words.
The headmaster was whispering something over Snape`s body, long beard dangling down as he bent over the boy. Lily wrenched herself loose from Marlene`s grip and ran towards Dumbledore, tears trickling down her face as she went to stand next to him. She was shaking and casted terrified glances at Mary and Marlene.
It was still deadly silent in the Great Hall, nobody dared to speak. Everyone was staring either at the floor or at the three figures in the middle of the room. It was an odd assembly, the limp wiry boy, the trembling terrified girl and the giant statue of a man.
Dumbledore rose to his feet once again and spoke, `Everybody to your dormitories, please.` The headmaster`s voice was gentle and quiet, but still it seemed like everybody had been able to hear him and the Great Hall started to empty, slowly like molasses streaming through the cracks of the flagstones.
Marlene and Mary approached Lily. Marlene wanted nothing more than to take Lily away from the center of attention. She couldn`t understand why Lily had somehow got caught in the middle once again. Someday Lily`s desire to protect the ones she cared about would be her downfall.
`Miss Evans, please fetch Madam Pomfrey.` Dumbledore spoke softly her.
The redheaded girl ran out of the room without taking a second look at her dormmates. Marlene wanted to run after her, but Mary grabbed her by her robes and held her back.
`No,` she whispered. `She`ll come to us. We need to get back to the dormitories.`
Marlene let herself be pulled along by Mary through the corridors, up to the Gryffindor tower.
***
Mary was pacing back and forth in their dorm room, her feet padding softly on the floor, the rhythmical tapping somewhat seemed to calm her down. In the corner of her bed, Marlene sat, gnawing on her nails and pretending very hard to be an empty corner. They were still waiting for Lily. She hadn`t come back from the hospital wing yet and Mary was staring to get worried.
The most of their house was residing down in the Gryffindor common room. Whispering among eachother, all sorts of theories about what had happened seemed to spiral up like the cringles of smoke into the air. Mary and Marlene hadn`t been able to bear it and had crept up to their dorm room, still shaken and barely speaking to eachother.
This wasn`t what Mary had expected their first day back in class to look like. Obviously, she had been aware of the constant back and forth bickering of the boys from their house and Snape. But, never in a million years, had she expected it to take such a grim turn. Up until now, magic had only seemed harmless and fun. Sure, she knew about curses and the dark arts. However, she had never expected to actually encounter magic that was meant to hurt someone on purpose. Not yet, at least.
The thing that made it all the more terrifying, was the fact that this had just been some foolish twelve year old boys messing about. Mary didn`t dare think about what someone would be able to wreak, who had been practicing magic for a much longer time and with much more devious intent. She had seen the way the Black sisters glared at her in the hallways and she was pretty certain those two knew a lot more curses and hexes than what she had seen in the Great Hall that evening. There wasn`t day that went by that Mary wasn`t aware of the damage people might want to inflict on her. It made her be in a constant state of vigilance. It was something her mother had taught her at a young age, too young an age.
Either way, this senseless spat that seemed to be going on, needed to end. Before someone got actually hurt. And it wouldn`t be Lily, not if Mary had something to say about it. In the time they had spent waiting on Lily to return from the hospital wing, she had decided to stage in intervention. She could no longer stand by and see Lily constantly become some sort of middleman between Snape and those other boys.
Mary already missed the simplicity of being back in London, in their little flat. No magic, no house feuds, nothing of this utter nonsense. Somehow, being back home for two weeks had made it even harder to return back to Hogwarts. It was the weirdest feeling, her flat had at first no longer felt like her actual home. Her room had no longer felt like her own room, the walls plastered over by her sisters` posters and her bed unslept. Gradually, over the holidays, it had started to feel like that again, and Hogwarts had seemed like some sort of fever dream, something that had not actually happened. Now, being back at school, this room, this dorm, was supposed to once again be her hideout. But was it a home, could she call Hogwarts a home? Mary felt sure it was a home for some. But, she wasn`t sure if it was a home for her and if she would ever discover it to be one.
On the car ride back to King`s Cross Station, she hadn`t cried, even though she had wanted to. It felt like with leaving for Hogwarts, she had to leave a little piece of herself behind. Build up a great wall to hide some parts of herself, parts that could get her cursed by others. If she was hard on herself first, nobody else would be able to do so.
As the Hogwarts Express had pulled out of the station and started its long journey towards Scotland, Mary had seen her home move further away from her with every passing tree. Lily and Marlene had sat in the same carriage and it had struck Mary how in a sense she was leading a double life. One with Lily, Marlene, Hogwarts and magic, and one without. Would she have to chose at one point?
The door creaked open and Lily appeared in the entryway, her previously plaited hair hanging limp, she looked tired and her face was blotchy from crying.
Mary stopped her pacing and Marlene appeared from her corner, momentarily stopping biting her nails.
`How is he?` Mary asked, her voice wavering. She didn`t really care how Snape was feeling, she cared how Lily was feeling.
Lily sunk down on her bed. `Sev is fine. Just some bruises. Nothing a good night of sleep can`t cure, Madam Pomfrey said.`
Gently, Mary sat herself down on the bedspread next to Lily and gripped her hand. Marlene was standing in front of them, gnawing her nails again and looking as anxious as Mary was feeling.
`Lils.` Mary said, and tried to seek Lily`s emerald green eyes. `I think we need to talk.`
`Ok.` Lily sniffed her nose and met Mary`s eyes, the whites of her eyes were red and her under eyes swollen.
`Something needs to change, ok?` Mary said softly, but imploring.
`What do you mean?` Lily asked, her brow furrowed.
`We can`t be having you be in-between these silly spats all the time.` she said, squeezing Lily`s hand.
Lily opened her mouth, but Mary interjected, `No, listen. This is dangerous. For everyone involved. You saw what happened in the Great Hall today. We all saw it. This isn`t a kids game anymore. This is serious.`
Lily swallowed and looked at their intertwined hands.
`Look, Lily. James, Sirius and those other two, aren’t going to listen to us. Or anyone for that matter. They are going to do as they please. They have no respect whatsoever for anyone’s feelings.` Mary continued.
`However, Severus,` Mary swallowed, she hated what she was going to say next. `He is your friend. I might not like him. Marlene might not like him-`
Marlene nodded at this.
`But, he is your friend. And by some freakish spell of fate, he respects you. And I am rather certain he will listen to you.` Mary said.
Slowly, Lily looked up from her lap, at Mary, it seemed like the purpose of Mary`s speech was staring to dawn on her.
`I need- No, we need you to talk to him.` Mary said softly. `Or at least try to. Try to make him understand that this can`t go on like this. Make him see that he isn`t only hurting those foolish boys with this, but you as well. Right?`
Mary looked at Marlene for approval, who nodded feverishly in agreement.
Lily wiped her nose with her sleeve. `It`s so silly really. Severus keeps picking on Remus, while he doesn’t even partake in those pranks.` she said.
Mary nodded. She didn`t really mind Remus, he was quiet and reserved and didn`t really kick up that much of a fuss. She was impartial about Peter, who just seemed to hobble along with them. Still, she did slightly resent them both for not taking the responsibility in their hands and call back their friends who were running around like rabid dogs.
`So, you`ll talk to Severus?` Mary asked, imploring.
`I can try.` Lily said.
Without saying anything else, Mary put an arm around Lily and hugged her tightly. She hated that she was now putting the responsibility on Lily, she didn`t deserve that. Lily least of all deserved any of this. But, she didn`t see another way out. It didn`t seem realistic to trust one of the adults to clean up this mess. It was something they apparently had to figure out on their own.
///