Project Dahlia

Jason Todd was no stranger to chaos. Between his vigilante work, his complicated family, and the occasional rogue assassin showing up at his doorstep, he thought he'd seen it all. But nothing prepared him for the absolute whirlwind of nonsense that was a bunch of teenagers breaking into his apartment at 2 a.m.

"Jason!" Penny whisper-shouted as she picked the lock. "Are you awake?"

"Of course he's not awake," Peter muttered, glancing nervously down the hallway. "You don't pick a lock on someone's door if they're awake!"

Cassie leaned casually against the wall, already munching on a granola bar she had swiped from Damian's pocket. "Why are we even whispering? Jay doesn't care."

"He might care," Penny argued.

"Highly unlikely," Damian muttered, crossing his arms. "And he'll let us in. Baba has no choice."

With a soft click, the door swung open. Jason, standing in the doorway in a hoodie and sweatpants, glared at them all.

"Damian," he said flatly, "this better not be another fake emergency."

"Technically," Penny said, slipping inside with Peter in tow, "this is an emotional emergency."

A few minutes later

Jason stood in the middle of the living room, arms crossed, watching as Penny and Peter nervously shuffled their feet. Roy looked far too amused.

"Relationship advice?" Jason repeated, his tone incredulous.

"Yes," Penny said, nodding earnestly. "Because you're wise and experienced."

Jason raised an eyebrow. "And you broke into my apartment at two in the morning for this?"

"We didn't want to wait," Peter added sheepishly.

Roy grinned. "This is going to be fun."

Penny and Harry

"So," Penny began, pacing the room. "There's this guy—"

"Harry Osborn," Damian interrupted with a smirk.

Penny glared at him. "Anyway, he's kind of perfect, but also complicated, and I don't know if he likes me back."

Jason sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Complicated how?"

"He's rich, emotionally repressed, and his dad's kind of a supervillain," Penny explained in one breath.

Jason exchanged a look with Roy. "Sounds familiar," Roy muttered.

"Okay," Jason said. "Does he know you like him?"

"I don't think so," Penny admitted, fidgeting with her hoodie strings.

"Then tell him," Jason said bluntly. "You don't have time to play games with someone like that. Be direct."

"That's...actually good advice," Penny said, surprised.

Roy smirked. "Sometimes Jason gets it right."

Peter and Felicia

Peter rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Okay, so...there's this girl—"

"Felicia Hardy," Damian interrupted again.

"Do you have to do that?" Peter groaned.

"Yes," Damian said, grinning.

Roy leaned back in his chair. "So, let me guess: she's gorgeous, dangerous, and doesn't exactly play by the rules?"

Peter blinked. "How did you—"

"Kid, I've dated that girl. Trust me," Roy said.

"So what do I do?" Peter asked, practically pleading.

"First, decide if you can handle the crazy," Roy said. "If you can, don't try to change her. Let her be who she is. But don't expect her to wait around forever while you figure it out."

Jason nodded. "Solid advice. The crazy ones are usually worth it—if you don't mind a little risk."

"Or a lot of risk," Roy muttered.

A few weeks later

Jason and Roy never asked to become surrogate fathers to a group of highly-trained, overpowered teenagers. Yet somehow, Project Dahlia had adopted them. And, in true chaotic fashion, they treated Jason and Roy as the ultimate arbiters of relationship approval.

This, of course, meant that when any of them got a partner, they were subjected to what Penny called The Gauntlet: a meeting with Jason and Roy to ensure their "adoptive dads" gave the green light.

Peter and Felicia

Peter arrived, nervously leading Felicia Hardy into the apartment. She looked as confident as ever, casually inspecting the space.

"Nice place," Felicia said, trailing a finger along the edge of the counter. "A little...rugged. Fits you, Red Hood."

Jason smirked. "And you're the infamous Black Cat. You know, I've got a file on you."

Felicia grinned, entirely unfazed. "I've got a file on you too, Todd. Though mine's probably thicker."

Peter groaned, tugging at his collar. "Okay, let's not compare criminal histories. I, uh, really like her, and I think you guys will too—"

"Relax, kid," Roy said, throwing an arm around Peter. "She's cool. But, Felicia, you hurt him, and we'll be having a very different conversation."

Felicia raised an eyebrow. "That's cute. You think you could take me."

Jason laughed. "I like her."

Penny and Harry

Penny dragged Harry Osborn into the apartment with a mix of nervous energy and determination. Harry, for his part, looked uncomfortable but polite.

"Hi," Harry said, offering a handshake to Jason and Roy. "I'm Harry Osborn. Nice to meet you."

Jason eyed him critically. "Osborn, huh? Your dad's the crazy Green Goblin guy?"

"Yeah," Harry said, awkwardly shoving his hands in his pockets. "But I'm not him. Just so we're clear."

Roy leaned against the counter, arms crossed. "You sure about that? Rich kids with daddy issues usually end up one of two ways."

"Roy!" Penny hissed, glaring at him.

Harry, to his credit, didn't flinch. "I'm not my father," he repeated firmly. "And I care about Penny. A lot. I'd never do anything to hurt her."

Jason nodded, clearly impressed by the answer. "Alright. But if you turn out to be anything like Norman, you'll be answering to me."

"Fair enough," Harry said with a small smile.

Damian and Cassie:

Damian didn't even bother to knock. He strode into the apartment with Cassie trailing behind him, looking mildly amused.

"This is ridiculous," Damian said, glaring at Jason. "You already know her."

"Doesn't matter," Roy said, grinning. "Everyone goes through The Gauntlet."

Cassie flopped onto the couch, throwing her legs over the armrest. "Hi, Roy. Hey, Jay."

"Hey, kid," Jason said, smirking. "So, you and Demon Spawn, huh?"

"Apparently," Cassie said, smirking back.

Damian crossed his arms, his glare intensifying. "This is absurd. She doesn't need your approval."

"Relax, Damian," Roy said. "We like her. She's got a good sense of humor. And she doesn't put up with your crap, which is a bonus."

Jason nodded. "Agreed."

Cassie grinned, nudging Damian. "See? That wasn't so bad."

Damian muttered something under his breath, but the faint blush on his face didn't go unnoticed.

By the end of the night, all three partners had been "approved," though not without some snark and interrogation.

"They're a good group," Roy said, leaning back on the couch.

Jason nodded, a rare smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah. But they're also our kids, so we keep an eye on them."

Roy grinned. "Who would've thought we'd end up as the dads of a team of chaotic teenagers?"

Jason laughed. "Not me. But, you know what? I don't hate it."

A few more weeks later

Jason and Roy had long since accepted that Project Dahlia had unofficially adopted them as their "team dads." But nothing could have prepared them for the day the chaos doubled.

Harry Osborn and Johnny Storm were the newest additions to the group. Harry's addition was strategic—an extra tech brain to keep Ned company on comms—but Johnny was a wildcard, thrown into the field like a blazing hurricane of energy.

Jason was trying his best to hold it together.

"You cannot just adopt every chaotic teenager you meet," he groaned, rubbing his temples as he sat in the living room.

"You let us stay," Penny pointed out, perched on the arm of the couch.

"That was different," Roy muttered.

"No, it wasn't," Damian deadpanned from his seat. "You're simply weak-willed when it comes to found family nonsense."

Jason glared at him. "Go clean your weapons."

While Johnny was getting grilled in the living room, Harry was already settling into the lab. He and Ned had clicked instantly, diving headfirst into their shared love of technology.

"Did you know the Osborn lab tech is using Stark-based firmware?" Harry asked, already deep into a conversation with Ned.

"Seriously? That explains so much!" Ned replied, typing furiously on a keyboard.

From the doorway, Roy leaned against the frame, watching the two nerds with a grin. "Well, at least we know they'll get along."

Jason appeared beside him, shaking his head. "This is how Skynet happens."

With Harry and Johnny officially integrated into Project Dahlia, the chaos hit an all-time high. Harry and Ned quickly became the brain trust, upgrading the team's tech with alarming speed. Johnny, meanwhile, slotted into the field team with ease, his fiery personality clashing hilariously with Damian's no-nonsense demeanor.

Jason walked into the apartment one afternoon to find Johnny teaching Penny how to juggle fireballs.

"Storm!" Jason barked. "What the hell are you doing?"

"It's fine!" Johnny said, grinning. "I've got it under control."

Penny accidentally dropped a fireball, and Peter scrambled to web it up before it hit the floor.

"Mostly under control," Johnny amended.

Jason turned to Roy, who was sitting on the couch eating popcorn. "Why do we let them stay here?"

Roy shrugged. "Because we're soft, and you secretly love them."

Jason groaned, rubbing his temples. "I'm going to regret this."

"Probably," Roy said with a grin.

As much as Jason hated to admit it, the new additions fit perfectly. Harry brought a sense of calm and logic to the lab, balancing out Ned's excitable nature, while Johnny's energy kept the field team sharp and unpredictable.

"We've got a good team here," Roy said one night as they watched the kids bicker over pizza and video games.

Jason sighed, a small smile tugging at his lips. "Yeah, we do."

Because at the end of the day, chaos or not, the team was family—and Jason and Roy wouldn't have it any other way.

Everything was "peaceful"

Until...

It started, as all chaotic Batfamily moments do, with Damian.

"I'll be at the mission briefing shortly," Damian said into his communicator, his voice clipped.

Bruce, standing nearby, raised an eyebrow. "Mission briefing? With whom?"

Damian froze for half a second—just long enough for Bruce to catch the hesitation. "A...special team I work with."

"Special team?" Drake asked, leaning over the Batcomputer. "You mean the ones you disappear with on weekends?"

"They're none of your concern," Damian snapped, but his tone only made Bruce more suspicious.

Naturally, Bruce, Tim, and Dick decided to investigate.

Project Dahlia HQ (Aka Jason and Roy's apartment)

When the Batfamily arrived unannounced at Project Dahlia's base, they were greeted by the sight of pure chaos.

Peter was webbing Johnny to the ceiling as punishment for setting off the fire alarm during an argument with Penny. Harry and Ned were trying to debug a malfunctioning comm system, which kept blaring Baby Shark at top volume. Cassie sat cross-legged on the counter, eating chips and watching the madness unfold like it was her favorite TV show.

And Jason was sitting in the middle of it all, arms crossed, looking done.

"Johnny," Jason said, glaring at the ceiling. "I swear, if you light my couch on fire one more time—"

"It was an accident!" Johnny yelled, hanging upside down.

Jason groaned, rubbing his temples. "I hate all of you."

"You love us," Cassie quipped, smirking.

The door burst open, and in walked Bruce, Dick, and Tim.

"What is this?" Bruce asked, his voice carrying the weight of parental disappointment.

Everyone froze.

Damian was the first to speak, stepping forward with his arms crossed. "Father. Grayson. Drake. What are you doing here?"

"We're here because you have been sneaking off with a 'special team,' and now we find this," Bruce said, gesturing to the chaos.

Peter lowered Johnny to the floor and scratched the back of his neck. "Uh, hi. We're...Project Dahlia?"

"'Project Dahlia'?" Tim repeated, clearly intrigued. "Like the SHIELD team?"

"Yes," Penny said quickly. "It's kind of a long story."

Roy groaned, standing up. "Alright, let's get this over with. Bats, meet ...the team. Kids, meet Jason's nosy family."

"You have a team?" Dick asked, looking at Jason with surprise.

"They're not my team," Jason muttered. "They're...strays we picked up along the way."

"Strays?" Peter said, frowning. "We're right here, you know."

The Batfamily spent the next hour being introduced to each member of Project Dahlia.

•    Peter Parker: Genius, spider-themed vigilante, and the one who tried to keep the group in line. Dick immediately liked him. "He's like a less angsty version of you, Jason," Dick teased.

•    Penny Parker: Fiercely protective, sarcastic, and quick-witted. Tim was impressed by her intellect, though he struggled to keep up with her fast-talking explanations.

•    Johnny Storm: The wildcard. He immediately tried to charm Bruce, which went about as well as expected. ("You're Johnny Storm," Bruce said flatly. "You're reckless." "But lovable!" Johnny replied, grinning.)

•    Harry Osborn and Ned Leeds: The brains of the group. Tim bonded with them instantly, geeking out over tech.

•    Cassie Prince: The snarky assassin. Bruce was very wary of her.

After the introductions, Bruce pulled Jason aside.

"This is what you've been doing?" Bruce asked, his tone a mix of concern and disbelief.

"Yeah," Jason said, crossing his arms.

Bruce studied him for a moment. "You're good at this."

Jason blinked, caught off guard. "What?"

"You're good," Bruce said. "They trust you. They respect you."

Jason shifted uncomfortably. "Don't make it weird, old man."

Meanwhile, Dick was bonding with the team.

"You guys are like...Jason's kids," Dick said, grinning. "It's adorable."

"We're not his kids," Cassie muttered.

"Oh, you totally are," Dick teased. "Little Wing's got his own little Batfamily. Who would've thought?"

"I will stab you," Damian said as he walked by.

Tim, meanwhile, was thoroughly impressed.

"This is amazing," Tim said, taking notes on his tablet. "You've got brains, brawn, and chaos. It's like a younger, more reckless Justice League."

"Thanks?" Peter said, unsure if it was a compliment.

As the Batfamily prepared to leave, Bruce turned to Jason.

"They're a good," Bruce said.

Jason shrugged, trying to play it cool, but the small smile on his face gave him away.

As the Batfamily left, Johnny turned to Jason. "So...they like us?"

Jason sighed. "Don't get used to it."

But deep down, Jason knew he wouldn't trade his chaotic team—or his nosy family—for anything.