good old days
Jade met Airk first.
The two had been paired up for an intro class project and met in the library to work for the second and, hopefully, final time. An unlikely pair, Jade had silently dreaded working with the boy, for he seemed a bit fratty from across the lecture hall, especially compared to the rest of the Gender Studies class crowd. Upon meeting, though, he was eager to do his part on the assignment and surprisingly open and easy to chat with. Plus, the sheer amount of jewelry the boy wore helped separate him from most of the boys on campus. He could be rather naive at times, but seemed pretty well-intentioned as far as the girl could tell. Jade spent a decent amount of their time wrangling his attention back to the task at hand, but they were being relatively productive.
After about an hour their work was wrapping up, but abruptly interrupted by Airk’s phone ringing. EVIL TWIN in big letters appeared on his screen before he answered. “Yeah?”
The voice on the other end was loud enough for the girl to hear. “Where are you? I need my thing.”
He described their location and the other party immediately hung up without another word.
The boy directed his attention back to Jade, “Sorry, my sister’s just gonna swing by real quick.” He reached into his bag and pulled out a knotted charger cable, taking the time to wrap it up neatly.
They continued putting together their slideshow for a few minutes, Airk very passionate about the visuals and Jade double checking the content.
Footsteps approached with an out of breath “Hey.”
Both of them turned towards the voice. Jade sitting up a little straighter while taking in the new arrival. Bits of brown hair poked out from under a dirty, cream colored baseball cap, which cast a shadow on a furrowed brow and tired blue eyes. She wore a dark blue collared shirt with the top three buttons undone, black corduroys with her keys attached to a belt loop, and well-worn brown leather boots on her feet.
“Did you lose it?” She directed at her brother.
“I didn’t lose it, I’ve been keeping it tidy, all wrapped up nice and everything. Here.”
Jade raised an eyebrow at the small lie, having just witnessed the detangle.
“What do you want, a fucking trophy? It’s not crazy to ask you to not ruin my stuff.”
“I’m just saying.” Airk sighed.
She took an empty seat at the table near an outlet to plug in her phone.
“This is Jade. We’re doing the project for my gender class.” Airk motioned to the redhead.
“Hey, I’m Kit.” Kit took a long look at the girl working with her brother. Sat diagonal from her at the table red curls surrounded a kind, freckled face with light brown eyes.
“Nice to meet you. You alright? You seem a bit,” Jade paused a moment to stare into slightly panicked eyes, “frazzled.”
“No, yeah, I’m fine. All good. I just have an interview thing in like an hour.” Kit took off her hat to fret with her hair and messed with the back of her collar, taken aback by the stranger who could read her like a book.
“I still don’t get why you’re doing it.” Her brother spoke up.
Kit ignores him, “You ever done a job interview?”
“Yeah, a couple.” Jade shrugs.
“Cool, nice, um. You have any tips ‘cause the everything I googled was kind of intense.”
“Kit, we’re working on something.” Airk gave Jade an out.
She didn’t take it, somehow already feeling protective of the girl she’d just met. “I can finish it up later if you want to call it. We’re practically done anyways, just the last two left, really.” Jade tells the boy. He shrugged, and they both turned their attention to the smaller twin.
“I think this place is pretty desperate and it’s not that deep, but I just have this feeling like I’m gonna fuck it up.” Kit wasn’t usually one for letting anyone see her in an anxious state, but she was already there and something about the other girl felt so steady.
“We can do some fake questions, get the nerves out.” Jade suggested with a small furrow of her brow. She mimed shaking out the nerves by wiggling her fingers.
Kit shrugged with a reluctant nod.
“You really give a shit about this?” Airk questioned.
“Maybe. I don’t know. It’s not a big deal, it’s just that dumb new Cashmere Café place.” She let out a long breath and avoided eye contact with her brother as she continued, “I just want my own thing and maybe it’s not this schmoozy coffee shit but I’d like the fucking interview to go well, at least.”
The three spent the next half hour prepping together, Airk googled lists of questions and Jade gave some light coaching on Kit’s responses.
“Is this outfit stupid?” Kit stood up and shook out her hair.
Airk interjected, “It’s my shirt, it’s a great shirt.”
“Yeah, well even from all your stuff this was the most masc thing I could find.”
“Do you feel like you look stupid?” Jade tilted her head as she asked.
“Well, yeah. I don’t have any good dressy clothes anymore, they’re all so femme.”
“It’s a good outfit. And it’s not about if you look fancy, really, it’s more you want to feel solid going in. Maybe tuck in the shirt?” Jade offered.
Kit immediately followed the suggestion.
“Wait, add a belt. Here.” Airk scoot his chair out and took off his belt to hand to his sister. “Don’t tuck it too tight.” He got up and gently tugged at the shirt, “Yeah, keep it flowy like that.”
Jade grinned at the twins having a sweet moment.
“Can I wear brown shoes and a black belt?”
“Yeah, you’re fine. Barista ready.” Kit and Jade locked eyes. That immediate trust and understanding had taken them both by surprise, but neither really wanted to question it.
Later that day, Jade’s phone received a series of messages.
hey its kit
airk gave me your number
just wanted to say that they were desperate and already offered me the gig
thanks for helping out i owe you one
if you come to cashmere on friday ill make you a coffee
After the initial free coffee, the two were pretty inseparable from there on out. Jade quickly learned how rare the anxiety she’d met Kit with was. Oftentimes, the brash brunette entered situations with too much confidence for her own good.
Homework was done together in the evenings, the redhead frequently took advantage of free drinks at the café, they dragged each other to parties, spent afternoons together at the gym, movie nights, meals, crashing in each other’s places, laughter, tears, and everything in-between.
The two found it easy to be with each other.
At first Jade couldn’t tell if if was a crush. She had had that problem before, the classic case of trying to tell the difference between wanting to be like someone or be with them. But a few months into the friendship she started catching herself staring. It became a problem, the longing looks.
There were late-night spirals, trying to think her way out the feelings she was having, trying to remind herself that they were never going to be more than friends and convince herself that she didn’t need them to be anything more, they worked just fine as they were. Those attempts were futile.
It was even more confusing because Kit was touchy from the start. Jade wasn’t used to her friends being so physical, it was something she had to adjust to. Hugs that proved just how well they fit together we’re exchanged on the regular. Every time they were on a couch together, the brunette’s feet would end up in her lap, hands stayed held at big parties to keep from losing the other, and reassuring touches or comforting squeezes were frequent occurrences.
She learned to live with the ache. The one that came with watching and wanting. The one that came with not wanting to want. The one that came with the uncertainty and the dissecting interactions hours later and the reading too far into things. The one that came with ignoring feelings and attempts at forcing feelings to change.
The first time they kissed felt like an accident.
It was a year and a half into knowing each other, the last week of winter break, and Kit had dragged an extremely exhausted Jade to a house show. She had gotten off a plane from England that morning, having spent a couple of weeks back home for the holidays.
Some shitty local band referenced shitty local landmarks in shitty loud songs.
A frigid winter night surrounded their walk, dirty leftover snow piles lined the edges of every street, but still softened the noise a bit.
The pair had pregamed more than usual in attempt to warm up for the trek from the twin’s apartment, but the cold was quickly forgotten as they entered the party. People filled every inch of the house, dancing and jumping to the beat, Kit had a firm grasp on Jade’s hand as she navigated the crowd. They met up with a few friends from Kit’s work, one of their boyfriends was, of course, the drummer of the band.
The show was fun enough, they danced and yelled dumb lyrics that they caught onto as their group of friends passed around a handle of cheap vodka.
“Burnett’s is fucking nasty!” Kit shouted into Jade’s ear as she passed the bottle.
Jade took a swig and grimaced before she yelled back, “So fucking gross!”
They jumped around another for another song before Kit yelled again.
“I have to pee!” She took Jade’s wrist and motioned to one of their friends that they were heading out back.
Jade let herself be pulled out the door and into the chilly expanse that was the back yard. There were groups gathered in clumps on the deck and by the fence that filled up most of the small yard, people smoking and chatting at a much more reasonable volume than inside. The music spilled out into the night, and somehow sounded a little better from a distance.
“Do they not suck?” Kit turns her head to ask as she pulled the other girl all the way to the gate that led to the alley.
“I think we just can’t hear the words from here.” Jade laughed.
“Good point.” The brunette released her as they entered the empty alley and were separated from the masses. Kit made her way to the edge of the fence and squatted down.
Jade leaned back against the tall wooden gate, she was tipsier than she typically let herself get at parties.
Kit zipped her jeans back up and started walking in front of her in a figure-eight, big steps and balancing a bit wobbly on one foot for each turn. They were quiet for a few minutes, Jade tilted her head back against the fence and closed her eyes, rocking side to side a bit to the muffled music.
Kit broke the silence, “I’m gonna drop out.”
Jade’s eyes opened and her head dropped to stare at her best friend. “Of school?”
“Uh huh.” Kit didn’t stop her steps.
“Fuck’s sake, I leave for two weeks and-“
“No,” Kit cut her off, “this is a good thing. I really want to do this, I’ve thought about it a lot.” She stopped her pacing and stood directly in front of the redhead.
“When did you decide this?”
“Technically today, but it’s all I’ve been thinking about since you went home. I was just- I was so fucking stressed and all I could think about was that break was going to end in a few weeks and classes would start up again. And I’m good at school, I know that I can do the whole school thing really well, but what does that even mean? I can cram for an exam and ace it or bullshit my way through a paper the night before. Great. I don’t learn a fucking thing, I don’t enjoy any of it.” She pauses a moment before continuing, anticipating an interruption that never came, “And I really like work and, yeah, people are shitty, sure, but I get to practice a thing over and over and get better at it and the people there trust me to make actual decisions.”
Jade’s hands were behind her lower back, wedged between her own body and the fence, she stayed quiet and let the girl ramble on about her thought process. Kit’s hands landed on Jade’s shoulders as she kept talking.
“I’ve just felt horrible, It’s not working, I don’t want to do it anymore. And I was thinking about how much you love it. You worked so hard to get here and to get your scholarship and you talk about classes like you can’t get enough of them. And-and you’re going to make such a good TA this semester, like those freshman are going to be so lucky that it’s you. And I don’t feel any of that, I’m just burnt out or something. I think it never really felt like an option, like there was never a doubt that the fucking Tanthalos kids would get degrees. I don’t know, it’s like I thought about what if I just didn’t do it anymore and I was immediately relieved. I feel like a real person for the first time in so long.”
She paused her rant and looked into Jade’s eyes. Kit had been talking so fast and Jade’s thoughts were a mile a minute trying to keep up and fill in blanks. Then Kit leaned in. No hesitation.
Jade had spent a lot of time trying to not picture kissing Kit, putting a halt to daydreams and stopping what-if’s in their tracks.
Jade was taken aback, her body was stuck, she almost didn’t believe it happened, but she kissed back just in case it was real. Soft lips came together, it was gentle and sweet and far too quick. The moment Kit pulled back Jade tried to follow, not ready for it to be over. Foreheads rested against each other for a second or two before Kit stood up straight, smiling. Jade’s mind went into overdrive trying to piece together what just happened and lock in a memory of how it felt. Her eyes went wide and she had to put real effort into lifting her gaze from lips she had actually kissed to blue eyes.
Kit’s hands were still on her shoulders, holding her in place and the only thing that grounded her in the seemingly surreal moment. That pressure on her shoulders only lasted a few more seconds before Kit stepped away completely, smile still plastered on her face as she noticed the lack of music, “I think the next band is going on, can we stay for their set?”
Jade only nodded, eyes still wide.
“Sweet, you coming?”
Jade found her voice as she stepped away from the gate, “I’ll find you in there in a second, yeah?”
“So what day was that? Your first kiss, that can be your anniversary, duh.” Elora interrupts the story, stating it like it’s obvious.
“Elora. She kissed me, and then we didn’t talk about it for four months.” Jade shakes her head.
“No!” Elora directs her wide eyes at Kit, “That is kind of brutal.”
“I made a move! And it was a hard four months for me too!” Kit gets defensive.
“So what changed?” Graydon speaks up.
“Huh?” Kit faces him.
“Why did you make the move? How did you even know you could?”
“I think we’re being generous calling impulsively kissing me and running away back into a party makingamove.” Jade drapes an arm around Kit’s shoulders.
“I’m with Jay.” Elora points at the redhead.
Jade smiles at the nickname.
“But still, yeah, why did you kiss her?” Elora directs at Kit.
“I don’t know. Look at her,” Kit turns her head to catch a glimpse of her girlfriend.
Elora rolls her eyes, “No, yeah, that part is,” she pauses to motion at Jade, “very obvious. I think we’re all aware, I mean you guys are like one of the hottest couples I’ve ever seen. That part’s a given.”
Jade covers her blushing face with her free hand, embarrassed, while Kit nods with a proud grin, leaning into her and placing her hand back onto her thigh.
Boorman chooses this moment to join the small group at the picnic table, taking a seat next to Graydon.
“Excuse me? I think someone’s missing from your hottest couple list.” Boorman strokes his beard and raises an eyebrow in a smolder and pointing a thumb at Scorpia across the yard. “Now, someone catch me up on what we’re talking about.”
“Just getting to know these two better.” Graydon offers.
“Kit first kissed Jade and then they didn’t talk about it for four months after.” Elora catches him up.
“Ah, so we’re learning about lesbian culture.” Boorman gives an understanding nod.
Jade covers her laugh with a groan at the comment while Kit makes a spectacle of rolling her eyes and pretending to slam her head into the table.
Graydon brought it back this time, motioning to Kit, “Go on.”
“She’s a tad impulsive.” Jade does a faux whisper to the other side of the table.
Kit squeezes her leg and bumps her shoulder, “Well… yeah that. And I guess I just wanted to. It felt like a good moment for it and being kind of drunk helped too. I had had friends that I wanted to kiss in high school, so I pretty much thought that it came with having hot friends.”
Scorpia now joins the gang, taking the spot next to Jade. “Who has hot friends?”
Boorman pipes up again, “We are learning about Kit’s lack of ability to know what a crush is.”
“Fucking hell.” Kit rests her head in her hands embarrassed. Jade rubs her back with a poorly hidden laugh.
“Queer friendship can be quite confusing at times.” Is stated wisely by none other than Boorman.
“Amen.” Scorpia raises her glass.
Jade clinks her can with it.
Kit and Jade share a look, silently agreeing to discuss the implications of Boorman’s possible queerness later.
“Well, I’m invested, so four months of what? Was it weird?” Graydon asks
“Not really, we both kind of realized we weren’t going to talk about it, so we just kept on like normal. It probably should have been more weird.” Kit turns to shrug at her girlfriend. “I think we were both too scared of something changing or going poorly that having like a thing looming over us was the better option. It was all very gay.” The brunette sums it up.
Old routines barely stuttered, the only real change was Kit didn’t have homework anymore. While they had less spare time in general and even less that lined up, they still spent it all together. Jade did homework, Kit distracted her or found ways to entertain herself. The ignored conversation lurked nearby, though. Both of them could feel it.
Jade couldn’t find a good time to bring it up. Kit had unenrolled the following week and then had the burden of sharing that information with her mother. Sorsha Tanthalos, president of the university, wasn’t thrilled. The following months were filled with long talks and arguments, trying to convince the woman that Kit wasn’t throwing away her future. She started working full-time almost immediately, the café filled most of her days. She also spent far too much time trying to convince Airk that the girl he had been seeing was bad news, but nothing seemed to get through to him. Everything combined into created an emotionally exhausted Kit who threw herself into café work.
The redhead was busy too. Between her classes, homework, her job at the gym, the class she was an undergraduate TA for, and pushing down any thoughts and feelings about her best friend, there was no time to confront the other girl.
She was going out less, the busy schedule kept her tired enough to turn down party invitations more often than not. It was a Saturday and the semester was winding down and finals week was quickly approaching. Kit had begged her to tag along to some kooky theme party a group of kids from the art school were throwing. Jade declined, opting to take advantage of her empty apartment and rot on the couch instead.
It was approaching midnight, the tv had a movie playing, and she was just beginning to doze off when someone knocked at the door.
She got up to unlock it, thinking her roommate probably forgot her key, but it was Kit who came barreling in.
“Airk wouldn’t let me go home, and I’m not drunk!” Kit put her hands up in a mock surrender.
Jade looked at her, tilted her head to take in the movement, “You’re a little drunk.”
“I’m not droonk. I’m a little tiny bit high.” Kit gave a crooked smiled as she mocked the accent.
“Dammit. Where’s Airk?”
“He walked me here,” Kit reached into her pocket and pulled out a small baggie with a joint in it, “but this is from him. He says thank you and sorry.”
Jade rolled her eyes and walked over to the open window to light up her gift, expecting her friend to follow. “Party alright?”
“Not really, nobody fun showed up,” Kit walked past the couch and into the kitchen. She spoke louder from the other room, “Airk ditched me for fucking Lili and a boy tried to dance on me. I look so gay tonight too, so that one is beyond me.” She got quiet for a moment as she puttered around before continuing, “Lili was begging Airk to dump me somewhere and head back to the apartment, so he left me here for you to babysit.”
“She is going to wreck him, I miss Caroline.” Jade sighed, referring to Airk’s ex that they had bonded with for the two months she dated him the previous semester.
“Me too. He was like never home.”
“He should only date girls that live alone like her.”
“Uh huh. I found out Lili’s in that creepy bullshit sorority type group thing and I swear this girl is fully trying to brainwash him. Like, just cause you have a hot girl haircut with bangs doesn’t mean you can manipulate everyone around you. She’s like a damn cult leader, I heard her try to talk him into letting her cut his hair. She sucks. He’s obsessed with his hair if he cuts it, he’s going to have a full-blown identity crisis.” Kit stood in the doorway between rooms and chugged a full glass of water. She went back to the sink and filled it up again to repeat once more.
“We need to have an intervention with the boy.” Jade raised an eyebrow at the brunette, “Worried about hydration for once in your life?” She blew smoke out the window and then turned to watch her.
“I want to be sober.” Kit went to the kitchen one more time, Jade heard the glass get placed in the sink and the fridge doors open and close. The brunette then made her way into Jade’s room and eventually emerged in her favorite navy sweats that she often stole for weeks at a time.
Jade shook her head at the girl, “This is why we never get you high.” She thought back to the handful of times Kit had smoked, always resulting in a brunette who couldn’t shut up or keep still. Every time Kit tried, the evening ended with her thinking herself into an impossible anxious panic spiral, and Jade always ended up staying up with her to ride it out.
Kit then hovered behind the couch rocking back and forth on her heels, “You don’t have ice cream, can we go for a walk?”
It took some convincing, but Kit put on a cute face, eyes a tad bloodshot, and Jade ultimately gave in.
The two left the building and walked in the opposite direction for a while, around the block a few times to get some of the smaller girl’s energy out.
They made their way to the corner store a few blocks down and picked out their treats. Most of the excursion was Kit rambling, not able to keep a single thought to herself, the only real conversing was when picking out flavors and bickering about what to get. Jade sat on a bench under a streetlamp for a long time as they ate, Kit walked in circles around her, but did settle down after a while.
About half way into the walk back, she looked at the side of Jade’s face as she stated, “You’re too good.”
“Huh?” Jade turned her head.
“I just- I’m sorry I’ve been crazy this semester. You’ve been so supportive and helpful and I don’t think I’ve, like, acknowledged it. I know I’ve been all over the place and mad at the world and everything,” Kit slowed their steps, “I’m really lucky you’re in my life.”
“You’re always mad at the world.” Jade nudged her arm, “I know you’ve had a lot going on and fighting with your mum is always rough, but I do think it was really impressive. Following your gut and all, I’m really proud of you.”
There was a lull, they enjoy the brief quiet before Kit breaks it.
“You’re my favorite person to be around, you know?”
Jade thought for a moment. The two had stopped walking and were now facing each other on the sidewalk. Kit’s honestly left her with a bout of confidence and she ran with it, “Are we ever going to talk about it?”
Kit’s eyes widened, she knew exactly what she meant.
The redhead continued, “You should know I’ve been just fully, ridiculously in love with you for some time now. And we don’t have to do it now, but you have to promise me we can talk about it, it is breaking my heart more and more the longer we don’t have this conversation.”
“I never mean to break your heart.” Kit shook her head, her eyes were comically wide. Both of them were staring at the other’s lips. “Jade?”
“Hmm?”
“I’m really so down for this, but I’m so fucking high.”
“Shit.”
“Oh my god.” Elora’s head is in her hands.
Kit looks slightly embarrassed, “I can out drink any of you, but I’m not good at drugs. I started completely spiraling after that.”
“Good at drugs?” Graydon questions the phrase.
“I’m actually really good at drugs.” Boorman states.
“Beg to differ.” Scorpia fires back from the opposite end of the table.
Boorman gives an offended look.
“Shrooms circa 2014, before you left.” She specifies.
“I had one bad trip almost a decade ago!” Boorman defends.
“You convinced yourself I became a tree.” Scorpia raises an eyebrow.
“You left me alone too long and that tree was absolutely gorgeous!”
“You were inconsolable.” Scorpia narrows her eyes.
Elora interrupts the couple to bring everyone back to the story. “Full-on love confession! What is wrong with you two?”
“Bad at timing, obviously.” Jade laughs.
“You didn’t say it back?” Elora is far too invested in the story.
“Not yet, not in so many words. You don’t understand how my brain was simultaneously exploding while also moving in slow motion.” Kit shows the slow explosion with her hands.
“I should’ve known she would panic.” Jade adds.
“Fuck that, you were in the moment! Then what? Please say you circle back to it the next day.” Elora continues.
“Oh no. The next day my dad called me for the first time in eight years.” Kit makes a sarcastic closed mouth smile, eyebrows up. Jade pats her knee under the table.
Elora puffs out her cheeks as she exhales.
The interaction with Kit’s dad came and went, pushed to the back burner until he would maybe reach out again as he promised.
Airk was too far gone, he let the girl cut his hair, which was Kit’s final straw. She tries to talk to him about it, but nothing got through to him, so he spent all of his time with Lili, ignoring Kit’s texts and avoiding the apartment.
For two weeks she was mad. The girl who could rarely keep a thought or feeling to herself curled in, kept quiet and in her head, stewing for days.
Jade’s finals wrapped up, all passed with flying colors. She was still working at the school’s gym, but immediately snagged a second job for the summer at a restaurant, The Shattered Sea, near her apartment.
Jade spent the days watching from a short distance as her best friend seemed to build up towards an angry outburst. She had spent most of the two weeks crashing on the twins’ couch. Kit rejected the offers of help, but Jade stayed. Quietly kept an eye out and made sure the girl ate and slept and showered between shifts, even took Kit’s dirty laundry to throw in with her own. She gave her the space to feel, all while bracing herself for the inevitable explosion that never came.
Instead, Kit seemed to settle. A never-before-seen peace and much quieter confidence took hold of the brunette, pulling herself out of her own funk.
Jade was finishing up a long day, her morning spent working brunch at The Shattered Sea and her afternoon filled with teaching exercise and self-defense classes at the gym, when she saw Kit lurking by the door, waiting for her.
“Great one tonight, Jade!” An acquaintance Jade sat with in lecture who never missed the latest Friday night workout class hollered over her shoulder as she slung a backpack over it.
“See you next week, Maya, have a good weekend!” She returned.
Kit slipped into the room as the attendees filed out, wordlessly helping Jade breakdown any equipment and store it away.
“To what do I owe the honor?” Jade broke the comfy silence.
Kit looked up from where she was rolling up a mat someone neglected to put away, an easy smile took place when they locked eyes, “How was the Friday night crowd?” She offered her own question.
“I thought when the semester ended it would chill out, but this summer bunch is nuts they collectively asked for more squats. I’m so sweaty.” Jade closed the now packed closet door and locked it before she peeled off the tight tank top with the school logo printed on it and swapped it for a looser shirt advertising Ballentine’s gym back home with the sleeves cut off. “Close the door and turn off the light so no one tries to come in here,” she instructed, “I need to lay down.”
Kit did as she was told and leaned back against the door as she watched Jade sit down on the one mat left, her own, and stretch a minute before flopping onto her back. Enough light filtered through the windows from the main gym to see across the room. Jade’s arms were out over her head, elbows slightly bent, and her red curls were mostly pulled into a bun but several had escaped during the workout as they stuck out in different directions.
“Maya still has that crush on you.” Kit had taken the class with Maya plenty of times over the previous couple of semesters. She had enough friends at the front desk through Jade to continue sneaking into the school gym even though she was no longer a student and refused to pay the fee for surrounding community members to join.
“She does not. She’s just nice to me cause I edited all her stuff for Allagash’s class last semester.” Jade shut down the idea.
“See, that’s hot, that doesn’t help your case. You’ll have to find a way to let her down easy.” Kit walked back over and sat in front the other girl’s feet.
“Editing papers is hot?” Jade let out a giggle and shook her head as she sat up with her legs still out in front of her and situated her hands behind her to lean back onto.
“Duh. Who edits your papers?” Kit laughed, caught the foot that tried to kick her and put it back down.
She stood up and reached for the redhead to help her up. When Jade got to her feet, Kit gently pushed her back the couple of steps until she was against the mirror that made up the wall behind her.
“I love you.” Kit said as she looked directly into the eyes of her best friend.
“Oh?” Jade’s eyebrows shot up. Immediately, she realized the brunette had been on a mission, working up to this since she entered the room.
“Yeah.” Kit nods looking between eyes and lips.
“Fucking finally.” Jade whispered to herself and tilted her head back in a thank you to the universe.
“I don’t know what to do.” Kit shared.
Jade took a look at the hands on her waist and said, “This isn’t a bad start.”
The brunette rolled her eyes and silently begged the other girl to make the next move.
Jade took pity, “I’m gonna kiss you, okay?”
“Yeah, yes. I-,” Kit tightened her grip, “I’d be very into that.”
Jade nodded and then they both leaned in slow, eyes closed and noses touching when Kit spoke up.
“Wait wait wait.”
Jade froze.
Kit let out a breath, and rested their foreheads together, “I just- I don’t,” she pulled her head back and shook it, Jade recognized the panicked look. “We’re gonna- We can do this and nothing has to change, right? We’re going to be okay and we can still be us and everything?” She took a half step back but didn’t remove her hands.
“Do you want that?” Jade tilted her head. She took the hands off her waist and held them both.
“I don’t know, I don’t know.” Kit’s eyes were everywhere but the other girl, “I just- I don’t want to lose you. You make everything so much better, I don’t want to do any of this without you.”
“What do you think is going to happen?”
Kit shook her head and looked down between them, “Nothing, no, I just-”
Jade spoke again, “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I know that.” Kit tried to brush it off, but the tears welling in her eyes told another story. She let go with one hand and ran it through her hair.
“Kit, neither of us are going anywhere.” Jade repeated, ducking a bit to try and catch her gaze.
“What if it’s not right?” Her eyes stay glued to the floor.
“Does it feel not right?”
“I don’t know how to not fuck this up.” She finally looks up and locks blue with brown again.
Jade thought for a second before deciding to change gears a bit. She stepped away to lessen the tension a bit and swung the remaining hand held between them as they slowly walked to nowhere. “Well, you said you love me.”
“I really do.”
“And I already told you that I love you ages ago now.”
“Ages ago, huh?” Kit’s shoulders relaxed a bit, grateful for the shift into the comfortable realm of playful banter.
“Oh, ages yeah, I was beginning to get impatient.” Jade emphasized.
“Well, this is interesting because some would say you’re known for your patience.”
“Easy to get frustrated when circumstances keep denying the opportunity.”
“Gee, that does sound frustrating.” Kit sarcastically stated as she got a bit of her confidence back.
They smiled together a moment before Jade got a little serious again. Having made it to the opposite side of the room, she let go of Kit and linked her own two hands behind her back to lean against the new wall, “We can figure it out as we go. I want to figure it out with you.”
“I want that too.” Kit stood in front of her, Jade’s slight lean made them the same height.
“Well, we should probably shut the fuck up and do something about it then.”
Kit exhaled a short laugh. Nose to nose again, lips touched briefly but both of them hesitated for a nervous split second. And then they kissed. This time very much on purpose.
Kit rested a hand on Jade’s shoulder briefly and then slid up to hold her face as confidence grew. Jade’s arms broke loose and found their place on Kit’s waist, tentative at first and eventually tightening the hold to pull her close. At some point they swapped places and Kit found herself backed against the wall.
Jade smiled first which made the other girl smile and the kiss was broken when they couldn’t hide their teeth and laughs burst out of each of them.
Jade hid her face in Kit’s neck until they settled. She pulled her head back to check-in, smiles plastered on both faces. Jade then adjusted her arms to have one over the brunette’s shoulder and pulled her into a tight hug, Kit mirrored her to hold on just as tight.
“Alright?” Jade asked softly.
“Yeah, just pissed we haven’t been doing that this whole time. You?” Kit’s chin rested on a strong shoulder.
“We have to get out of my place of work because I have no intention of stopping.”