Sphinx of Danganronpa ARCHIVE (OCTOBER 2019 - MARCH 2020)

once upon a time in faraway land, there were three tribes. dr1 tribe, sdr2 tribe, and ndrv3 tribe. they all lived in the forest toogether 👍 they didn’t have any hands or feet. or lower limbs so they just run weird. 

people in the tribe use their hair as weapons to fight of super bad bois. ahoges make you a protag which means you lead the tribe. the current leaders are sushi from ndrv3, makotowo from dr1, and hajimey from sdr2. they order everyone around and keep the peoples safe 😌. Everything was peaceful

until one day

shuichi was sleeping with his girlfriend kaede (uwu) in a small hut. suddenly there was screeching outside and kokichi kicked the door open with his remaining thighs. shuichi screamed but kaede was still asleep for some reason

“shuichi you got mail” kokichi said seducetively as he slapped the mail on the flor

wtf, shuichi thought

he shook his head and opened the mail.

The msaage said:

Dear shuichi from ndrv3,

i challenge you to an ahoge battle so that i could prove that i have the best ahoge in all the land. meet me at the ahoge arena where we shall fight.

from jimmy the sdr2 tribe leader

shuichi gasped “A BATTLE????? KOKICHI, send back a note”

kokichi pulled out a paper and wrote yes and then he ran away.

Shuichi poked kaede and she woke “shu ichi.. what’s wrong?” 

“it’s battle time” he said and ran outside 

wtf shuichi

shuichi called everyone from their tiny huts and made the annoucement “I SHALL BATTLE HAJIME IN AN AHOGE BATTLE”

Everyone screamed and then they left for the arena

shuichi walked into the cage thing at the side of the arena with kaito. he looked around and saw that everyone is here, even the dr1 tribe and a bunch of random other people. kaito slapped shuichi’s back with his humerus 

“don’t worry you got this sushi”

“thank you kaito” shuichi said back and he started having gay thoughts

the cage open and shuichi walked out. he saw like a bunch of people at teh sides. it was all the tribes, but the sdr2 tribe didn’t look happy. shuichi looked at the dr1 tribe and they all gave him a nonexistent thumbs up 👍. he smiled. 

The other cage thing opened and jahjime stomped out like a bull on steriods. he stared at shuichi “it is time for me to prove who has the best ahoge in all the land”

shuichi looked at hajime. he looked real strong. will he win???????? what if i lose,  shuichi thought. I’ll disspaont everyone and loose my wife. He shok his head. No i wont loose 

Ibuki walked up to the announcemtn pedestal to start the countdown

“ready”

“set”

“go” she said really tiny

did she say go yet, shuichi thought, but he couldt think anymore because hajjimmy was running towards him at full speed. They hit each other in the head and their ahoges started clinging like swords. clank whack shing. hajime vibe checked shuichi with his ahoge and shuichi flew into the wall. “crap” shuichi said pissed off

hajime cackled “this will be easy”

shuichi hopped up. I gotta win. remember what yor boyfrind- I MEAN kaito said

“dont worry you got this sushi”

shuichi got this. he wasn’t going to disapoint every living thing on earth. he scrapped the ground with his humerus and charged for hajime. hajime stood there like a bull bracing himself. they hit eachother on the head. “ow” shuichi said

 jimmy snickered and pushed him back, but shuichi pushed him back. jahjime was losing and the crowd went wild

“is like a deer fight” said someone

this is it! Im going to win shuichi thought yay-

but just as he thought it, hajime backed the fuck up and charged towards shucihci. they’re ahoges clinked and then locked. oh no HE’S GONNA FLING ME, shuichi thought while trying to unlock their ahoges. but then he had an idea

sushi ran backwards and dragged hajime around. Then he reared like a damn horse and stomped down, causing hajime to get face planted

“JWEFHWBVKHCB” hajime screeched under him

but it wasn’t over yet. Hajime jumped in the air out of shuichi’s grasp. oh no!!!!!!! his ahoge hit shuichi in the jaw!!!!!! shuichi fell to the ground

“HA youre weak shuichi. some protag you are” he cackled like a witch

the sdr2 tribe cheered. But the dr1 tribe and the ndrv3 tribe all looked super shook

“SHUICHI” kaito called out

k-kaito shuichi thought. i must win. for him. for kaede. FOR THE NDRV3 TRIBE

shuihci shuddered and hajime looked behind him. “what the hell i was busy gloating”

“No more stinky gloating for you” shuichi said then started shaking as he got up “I WILL SHOW YOU WHAT IM DAMN MADE OF”

“youre made of eboys”

shuichi shook like an angry chihuaahua “NO THATS WRONG” he screamed before charging. Hajime ran too, but shuichi was faster. he raised his head at the right moment and then locked his ahoge with hajime’s agin. OH SHIT IT WORKED shuichi thought. he spun around in a super turbo circle and threw hajime.

hajime went flying nd fell to the ground. the crowd went wild. the sdr2 tribe screamed in anger, but the ndrv3 tribe and the dr1 tribe all cheered and clapped with their non-existence hands. shuichi looked at everyone. i won!!!!!! he thought. Does this mean,,, i ahave the best ahoge in all the land??? he turned to hajime who was practically completley broken from the fall. he walked up to him and extended his femur

“do you need a uhhhhhhhh arm???” shuichi asked smiling

“no go away” hajime said like an angry toddler

shuichi shrugged “okay you big baby”

 he walked through the cage and found his tribe waiting for him with kaito at the front “you did it bro 💓💜💙💞💝” his eyes sparkled 

woah so pretty shuichi thought, then he shook his head. he ran to both kaito and kaede and snuggled them. everyone else ran up to sushi and gave him a big ol hug

hajime was walking back to the opening cage thing slightly crippled. nagito and chiaki were there waiting. “you should of had more hope in you”

“dont worry nagito” hajime said “i will get revenge on him for embarrasinhg me and stealing my title”

“but he never had his title in the first plac????” kazuichi whispered to fuyuhiyo

“SHUT UP” hajime screeched. “come on everyone. I have special plans now” he went kekekekeke (that’s kiyo’s line wtf)