Fuck the monarchy.
“Uh yes, hi. This is him.” Simon responded. He turned to Wille and mouthed “It’s Jan-Olof. What the fuck??!!”
“Mr. Eriksson, are you with His Royal Highness?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Can you put the phone on speaker?”
“Ummmm, okay.”
“Hello, Crown Prince Wilhelm. This is Jan-Olof. You have not been responding to the messages we sent last night and today. If Your Royal Highness had seen them, you would know that your presence is required at the Royal Palace, along with Mr. Eriksson.”
“Jan-Olof, what the fuck? Why the hell are me and Simon needed? We haven’t done anything wrong, I believe.”
“Your Highness, you and Mr. Eriksson caused quite the scene last night. Social media is going insane! You must report to the palace. There is damage control that needs to be done! We have sent a car, which will be here shortly. Mr. Eriksson, you need to pack an overnight bag. You’ll be there for the night and all day tomorrow. Goodbye and thanks.” And he just hung up, leaving Wille and Simon stunned.
“What the actual fuck, Wille??!!” Simon exclaimed angrily. “I don’t wanna go to the palace.” He pouted.
Wille wrapped Simon in a tight hug and kissed his hair. “I know, sweetheart. Everything’s gonna be alright. We’ve got each other. We’re in this together.”
“Lemme tell Rosh and Ayub that I gotta go.”
“Okay.” He kissed Simon’s forehead.
Simon left Wille’s embrace and went to his setup.
“Hey. Uh, so, it was Jan-Olof that um called.”
“What?” Rosh and Ayub yelled in sync into their mics.
“What did he want?” Rosh questioned.
“He wants me and Wille to go to the palace. Something about damage control and last night: I think Kristina and the Court are mad about everything that’s happened in the last 24-ish hours. They’ve sent a car.”
“Oh. Why a car? Isn’t Malin here with you?”
“Yeah, but Joakim drove back to the palace last night with the car. We’ve just been in the house today, so no car was needed. But I kind of can’t talk right now, I gotta pack. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t apologize, bro. Text or call us if you need anything, okay?” Ayub responded.
“We love you, Simon,” Rosh added.
“I love you both too. Bye.”
***********************
“This is fucking ridiculous. Why are we needed there? Can’t the stupid PR team figure it out? We didn’t do anything wrong. What’s so wrong about us being in love? Is it because we are two guys? Is it because I’m Latino? I know they will fucking defend that piece of shit. They defended August instead of you, do you think that they will care what I have to say? I get it, I’m not the quote-in-quote ideal partner for the Crown Prince, but why should the real victims suffer? I just want to have a normal day and a normal weekend. We were already at the palace last week for this stupid PR shit, now they are making me spend more time away from my family? We can’t have a fucking weekend together? For us to have a sense of normalcy? Fuck them. Fuck this.” Simon ranted while angrily packing his away bag.
“Simon,” Wille came up to his lover's space. “Can you take three deep breaths in and out for me?”
Simon nodded.
“Do you want me to do it with you?”
He nodded again.
And so they did.
When finished, Wille spoke, “Better?”
Another nod.
“What you are feeling is valid, Simme. This situation truly is frustrating. I know the PR team well, and I’ll help you. I’ll make sure that you are listened to. You and your words matter, Simon.”
Simon tightly hugged Wille. A single tear fell from his left eye and onto the floor.
“I love you, mi vida.”
“I love you too.”
*******************
Jan-Olof got out of the car, with his usual stern look present on his face.
“Jan-Olof,” Wille spoke after leaving the Eriksson’s house, Simon’s hand in his. “What are you doing here? Am I not allowed to have a weekend with him?”
“Crown Prince,” He began, “You brought an innocent person into the matter of your situation, you can’t expect us to take this lightly. Your Instagram posts were not approved beforehand. You and Simon displayed heavy PDA last night, which we have talked about in the past. You should be more appropriate in publ-”
“No. It’s cause we are both guys, isn’t it? I guarantee you wouldn't care about PDA if Simon or I were a girl. It’s because you and my parents and the rest of the Court are trying to please the bigots. You’re trying to appeal to the conservatives that believe that queer people are gross and weird and don’t deserve rights. You can’t just be flat-out homophobic or most of Sweden would turn against you,” He took a breath and spoke again, “It’s not a fucking “situation” Simon and I are in a relationship. I know for a fact that Simon and I will get married. We love each other more than anything. We’d do anything for each other. But what about you? Didn’t you recently go through your third divorce? The third time she filed?”
Jan-Olof was scarlet with anger.
Wilhelm looked at Simon, to whom Simon nodded back. They were communicating telepathically.
“Marcus isn’t fucking innocent-”
“Oh, he isn’t, Crown Prince?” Jan-Olof retorted.
“So him trying to manipulate me into a relationship mere weeks after me and Wille were on a break is innocent?” Simon added in. He then continued, “Him bringing up my trauma multiple times is innocent? Him being 18 while I’m 16 is a-okay? Him calling me his “long lost lover” last night is perfectly fine? His contacting me and Wille even when I’ve expressed I want no contact with him is just peachy to you, apparently. He even showed support towards mother fucking August when the trials were going on. Is his whole “@augustisinnocent” account on Twitter perfectly normal to you?”
Jan-Olof had an expression of pure annoyance on him.
“And the worst part of this shit is that I told you all of this, multiple times! Wille has told you all of this too! I told you all of this LAST WEEK when I was getting stuff for being from a lesser class. I’m always the fucking victim here. So is Wille. I think you, the rest of the Court, and the Queen and Prince Consort forget that Wille is a fucking child. He’s been through hell and every single one of you forget his trauma and that he isn’t a toy to play with and discard when you are done with it. You all treat me like absolute shit, too. Time and time again I get faced with discrimination from you all. You want me to change to fit the crown all the fucking time. I’m a person with feelings.” He finished and kicked his foot into the ground on repeat in an anxious matter, tears coming into his eyes.
“I HATE THIS FUCKING LIFE! SIMON IS RIGHT IN EVERYTHING HE JUST FUCKING SAID! I’M FUCKING DONE! I QUIT! I’M NOT GONNA BE THE CROWN PRINCE OR KING! AND I’M NOT COMING TO THE STUPID FUCKING PALACE! MONARCHIES ARE USELESS! WE DON’T NEED THEM! GO TELL THE QUEEN ALL THIS SHIT, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK! GOOD FUCKING BYE!” Wille screamed out, then stormed into the house.
Jan-Olof looked baffled and Simon was stunned. He then turned around into the house, Wille needed him more than ever.
*****************
Sara and Linda were in the kitchen, watching this all unfold. They were surprised it was happening now, but not surprised that it happened.
“Maybe we shouldn’t be watching this, amor,” Linda spoke softly while rubbing Sara’s shoulders. “We should give them some privacy.”
“I think we better know what’s currently going on. The whole Royal thing has fucked them over so many times. Simon and Wille are gonna need us.”
“Okay, sweetheart.”
***********
Wille was in Simon’s room, his safe room. He had run in there in tears and a fury of rage. He ran quickly past Sara and Linda, sending them a sad “Hej”.
Once he was in Simon’s bedroom, he went to Simon’s wardrobe and grabbed his boyfriend's purple hoodie, and took off his top layers to replace it with Simon’s hoodie. (He found comfort in wearing his lover’s clothes)
He sat on Simon’s bed, breathing heavily and biting the inside of his lip. He was getting better at controlling his anxiety, but sometimes his old coping mechanisms came into the swing when dire situations occurred. He also had been working on his anger management in therapy, but he couldn’t hold back anymore. He had a lifetime of words building up on the tip of his tongue, begging to be spilled out, like water when the pipe bursts after too much pressure build up.
Simon came into the room and immediately wrapped himself around Wille. After many conversations in their relationship about Wille’s anxiety, Simon learned that Wille needs physical touch to ground him. Wille told Simon that if he’s anxious, he always has consent to touch him unless Wille says otherwise.
“It’s okay, Wille. Everything’s alright. Breathe for me, baby. You’re gonna be okay. I’m here, I’m not ever leaving. I love you, mi amor, so much. You’re so brave.” Simon whispered while petting Wille’s hair, as Wille sobbed and sobbed and sobbed.
After Wille’s sobbing sustained, Simon whispered, “Do you want to talk about it?”
“In a minute. Can you please get me some tea? Thirsty. And cold.” Wille asked, small as ever. He looked like a sad kitten.
“Of course, mi amor.” Simon stood up and kissed Wille’s forehead, then headed off to the kitchen.
**************
“Amor. Is Wille okay?” Linda questioned as Simon entered the room.
“He will be. He wants some tea, I’m gonna make him some.”
Simon made Wille’s tea, white tea, his favorite, and put it in the frog mug that Simon bought for when Wille’s over. He put some kanelbulle on a plate that his mother made as well, just in case Wilhelm got hungry. He gathered up some napkins and headed back to the bedroom.
********
“Wille? I have your tea. I got you some food too, just in case you want it.”
“Tack, Simon. You’re the best boyfriend ever.” Wille mumbled back, with so much sweetness and love in his voice that it made Simon’s heart break and melt all at the same time. This boy deserves nothing but love and kindness in the world. Fuck the court and fuck the monarchy for everything they put my boy through. Simon thought.
Wille left the embrace off Simon’s blanket and pillow and stood up.
“Where are you going, sweetheart?”
“I have to use the bathroom. I’ll be back, hjärtat.”
**********
After doing his business and washing his hands, he washed his face with cold water and took four deep breaths in and out.
He made his way back to the bedroom and sat down.
“Can we hold hands, please? While I eat and drink?” Wille loved and craved Simon’s touch, constantly.
“Of course, baby,” Simon replied, sweetly.
“I wanna talk about it,” Wilhelm spoke after eating. He still had a little tea left, but he was feeling much better.
“I fucking hate being royalty. I really do. I’ve hated it since I was a little kid. I was always compared to Erik. I was never good enough for my mother. The Court thought I was immature. I never had true friends until Hillerska because they only wanted to hang with me because I was a real-life prince. The media always judged me. I never wanted this life. I just want to be me… to be Wille; not Crown Prince Wilhelm. I know being the first openly queer royal made me special and changed things, but I can still make a difference for the queer community as Wille.” He paused for a moment, then continued, “I hate how they treat you. It pisses me off constantly. I have talked to them time and time again that you are here to stay. That you and I are real. That you should be treated fairly. No one ever listens.” He chugged the last of his tea.
“Wille, I support you. Whatever decision you make, I’ll be by your side. I don’t want you to do this for me though. You need to do it for you.”
“I’m not. I’m doing it for myself. I can’t handle the stress. My relationship with my mom is fucked. She’ll probably dislike me more for this, but I can’t let her dictate my life anymore, not after everything else she fucked up for me. The monarchy will suffer for this. With Erik gone, August in prison, and now me abdicating, there is no plan. But fuck it! I meant what I said out there, every word, the monarchy is useless. My anxiety takes control whenever I have to do Crown Prince duties. After therapy, I’ve realized that anything Crown Prince-related triggers me. I’m sorry for yelling like that. I want you to know, I’m working on anger management in therapy.” He took a breath, “I think I’m gonna call my mom later. I can’t do this in person,” His voice broke when he said the next part, “I don’t want to see the look of disappointment on her face.”
“Oh, baby. C’mere.” Simon’s heart broke once again. He cuddled into Wille.
Simon whispered affirmations, “I love you’s”, pet names, and “You don’t need to be sorry” ‘s while holding him.
“Can we lay down, Simme?”
Simon didn’t answer, he just turned to lie down. “Big spoon or little spoon?”
“Big, please.”
They stayed there for a while until Wille’s breathing evened out and Simon knew his lover was asleep. He kissed the back of Wille’s head. Simon followed him shortly into dreamland.
***********
They woke up at 7:00 PM.
“Simon?” His throat was scratchy from the screaming.
“Yeah?” His voice was rough from disuse.
“I’m gonna call mamma.”
“Do you want me to stay?
“If you’d like.”
“I’ll stay, baby.”
They shared a short and chaste kiss.
**********
After the second ring, Kristina picked up. Simon was sitting at his desk chair and Wille was at the edge of the bed.
“What on earth is going on, Wilhelm?!” Before Wille could speak, Kristina spoke into the phone with worry, but no malice, “Jan-Olof returned to the palace panicked! With you not present! And you say that you will renounce the throne? What is all of this about?” She asked motherly. She was caring for her young, not pouncing.
“What this is about is that I can’t handle this pressure. I can’t handle the title. Ever since I was a small child I have felt this way. I can’t do this anymore. I know you are upset, but think about how I feel. I really don’t want this. I’m done, whether you like it or not.”
“Wilhelm,”
He interrupted, “I need my mommy. I just want to be a normal kid. Too much has happened in my life already. I can’t do it, mommy, I can’t.” He was crying at this point. Simon was rubbing his knee in reassurance.
“Oh, Wilhelm.” Wilhelm could detect sadness in her tone.
“If this is what you want, and if this is how it’s gonna be, so be it. I can’t force you anymore.” She took a moment. “I’ve lost one son, I can’t lose another one. I know I’ve been harsh on you, darling, but I have to stop. I love you, my son. I think I forget sometimes that you’re a child. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for everything.”
“I love you too, mamma.”
“We’ll have to make an announcement. The Court will need to make a plan. Can you please come to the palace tomorrow?”
“Yes.”
“Simon can join you if you desire. I think it’s best we leave what happened last night out of the matter. It wasn’t my decision to call you here today. The Court and PR team was passionate we do something, but I figured that you are just two kids in love. Believe me, I can’t stand that Marcus kid. Simon deserved better than him, he deserves you, älskling. I just want you to know, you’ll always be my baby. Even if you’re not the Crown Prince, you are my son, and I stand by you. You’ll always have a room here, and always will be welcomed.”
“Thank you, Mamma. I love you.”
“I love you too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Bye.” He hung up his phone.
**********
He took a deep breath in and out, then exclaimed, “Holy shit.”
“How’d it go?”
“She was accepting.” Wille communicated, baffled. “Like she was okay with it. She wants what’s best for me. She wasn’t mad. She said she’ll figure out what to do. She wants me to come to the palace tomorrow, and you can come if you’re okay with it. She even acknowledged that we are in love. She apologized. She mentioned that she sometimes forgets that I’m a child. Also, she didn’t care about last night. She uh, said the Court decided to bring me to the palace, not hers.”
“Holy fuck.” Simon was baffled too. “Wow!” Wille and Simon stood up. “That’s amazing Wille!” They reached out for each other's embrace and fell into a hug.
“I’ll come with you, Wille. I’m always here for you.”