I didn’t want to go to Scotland. I’d been once with my parents. It felt dreary, and I’d no desire to return. I’d no desire to bring Gabrielle to some antediluvian castle in the middle of nowhere. I knew we’d be homesick. But the challenge? Well, that was worth it. to make my family proud. to make Madam Maxine proud. to make myself proud.
It wasn’t at all what I’d expected. Winning: that was my only objective. That was all I thought mattered, but I learned that it didn’t. The people mattered. New friends mattered. Old friends mattered. Family mattered. Winning did not. Anyone with a mind of their own could see that Voldemort was back.
All eyes were on Harry, but I saw only you.
I saw you eye me suspiciously at the first feast. I saw you fiercely protect your friend. I saw the pain on your face when he struggled. I saw you in the library late at night, determined to keep top marks despite it all. I saw you wearing your S.P.E.W pin and carrying that donation box, proudly fighting a cause all on your own. I saw you at the ball in your beautiful dress. I saw you with him.
Je n'ai vu que toi.
I saw only you.
I didn’t want to stay at the burrow. They imitated me, caricatured me. They called me names; I heard them. You called me names. I’ve never been one to be intimidated by childish mockery. I have far too much self-assurance for that. My esteem is not built on the opinions of others. The bullies looked foolish, not I.
No one expected to see me again. They didn’t expect their beloved Bill to fall for me, to have me in their home, to like me. They didn’t expect me to have a brain, or feelings. And I did not complain. On the contrary, I did my best to be kind despite the ridicule. I tried to ingratiate myself as best I could. with them. with you.
All eyes were on the Weasleys, but I saw only you.
I saw the raise of your brows when you saw me upon arrival. I saw your jaw clench. I saw you laugh at their jokes at my expense. I saw you fight back yawns as you read late into the night. I saw the charming way you rubbed sleep out of your eyes in the morning. I saw the apprehension on your face when your school-marks arrived, and the disappointment flutter across when they weren’t as you’d hoped.
Je n'ai vu que toi.
I saw only you.
It was supposed to be the happiest day of my life, marrying the man I loved. Instead, it was one of the most frightening. It was too soon; we both knew it. But what choice did we have? We didn’t know what the future would hold. We didn’t know if we would live through the year. I grasped at any comfort, any normalcy I could find.
Bill is a wonderful man. He is strong, and he is kind. He is funny and handsome. We made a beautiful couple; I know it to be true. I could feel opinions shifting about me, if only because he loved me. I squeezed his arm to hold myself upright, to stay balanced. They thought it was affection; it was terror.
All eyes were on us, but I saw only you.
I saw your pleased smirk as you watched Harry with Ginny. I saw your forehead crinkle in concern when you were lost in thought. I saw you clutch that beaded bag to your side all day and all night. I saw you watching Ron when he wasn’t watching you. I saw that red dress you wore, and the way it slid up your thigh when you sat. I saw you disappear into the night when we were attacked. I saw you leave me, potentially forever.
Je n'ai vu que toi.
I saw only you.
We hid on the coast for months. It felt like years — alone, just he and I. We were unprepared to live together in such isolation. We loved each other, but we grew distant. I needed space. I needed to be anywhere else. I needed my family. I needed to know you were okay.
My heart fluttered in relief when I saw you arrive, before cramping in unbearable pain at the state of you. Our little cottage had become a refuge in an instant, and I knew it had all been worth it. Every decision that led me here was worth it for you. and for them. for the war. for humanity. but mostly, for you. Plans were forged. Deals were made.
All eyes were on the goblin, but I saw only you.
I saw you clutch at Ron desperately on the way to shelter, trying to stay on your feet, refusing to show weakness. I saw the tears streaming down at the loss of your small friend. I saw the blood on your face. on your arms. on your hands. on your clothes. in your hair. I saw the broken rib protruding from your stomach as I peeled away your clothes. I saw the slur carved into your arm. I saw your fingers grasp for mine urgently while you slept. I saw you toss and turn with nightmares, memories which you refused to speak of in consciousness. I saw the curious look in your eyes when you noticed me crying over you. I saw you leave. again.
Je n'ai vu que toi.
I saw only you.
It was Harry I saw first, running about the castle on his own. What did that mean? It hadn’t been that long since I’d seen you. You had made it away from Gringotts; we’d heard about it on the wireless. Surely you were there. somewhere. You had to be. I could feel that it was the end. One way or the other, this was it – assembling at Hogwarts as a united front to fight for our lives.
I stood with my family — old and new. I stood with my friends — old and new. I hugged them desperately. It meant goodbye, just in case. For some it truly was goodbye. for Fred. for Remus. for Tonks. I saw you, finally. You looked as well as could be expected. I cried out in relief, but you didn’t hear me over the commotion in the hall. Harry was dead, and we had lost. Harry was alive, and we would win. My head was spinning.
All eyes were on Harry, but I saw only you.
I saw the frantic look in your eyes as you whipped your wand around, demonstrating abilities well beyond those of your peers. I saw you get struck with a spell, and I saw you rebound with authority. I saw you kill. I saw you tremble. I saw you cry for your best friend. I saw your face lose hope. I saw your shocked relief when he returned, and your ecstasy when the monster was slain. I saw you kiss him, my brother-in-law. I saw the passion you held for him. I saw you merely glance in my direction.
Je n'ai vu que toi.
I saw only you.
Je n'aime que toi.
I love only you.