Chapter 7
Kit had a dream that night that Jade got stabbed.
She hadn’t seen the actual stabbing in the first place. Perhaps that is why her brain conjured up grisly and vivid images of such. Kit dreamed of the smell of rust, blades spilling to the ground, and freckled skin stained with crimson red and salty tears. She dreamed of Jade, calling out for her just as she had done in the throes of a fever. “Kit!” “Kit!” “Kit!”
She jerked awake to a hand stroking her hair, a warm body pressed against her back, and a familiar comforting voice crooning in her ear. “You are alright, my darling. Nothing will harm you with me here.”
Jade was there. Jade was right behind her and she was in one piece. Jade was propped up on an arm and curled around her, soothing her.
Kit felt her heart hammering in her chest and she tried to steady her stilted breathing. She attempted to focus on the feeling of Jade’s fingers in her hair and the reassurance that Jade was alright.
“You’re okay,” Jade continued on, her lips grazing Kit’s temple. “Breathe for me, darling.”
Kit forced herself to suck in a breath of air, rewarded by Jade pressing her lips softly against her skin.
“Good girl. Another one,” Jade coaxed quietly and Kit did the same thing once again.
When Kit felt like she could breathe again, she slowly pushed herself to sit up. She wanted to lay in Jade’s arms forever but she also did not wish to fall back asleep and experience that awful dream again. She sat on the edge of the bed, ignoring the shivers that crawled up her spine at the loss of warmth.
“I’m hungry,” she found herself saying despite the fact she felt sicker than anything, her stomach doing flips at the thought of putting anything in her mouth. “Let’s go to the kitchens.”
It was something they used to do as small children. Whenever Kit would have a hard time sleeping, she would stumble to the kitchen in search of something to do. She first did it shortly after her father left as a child, back before she even met Jade. She had a horrible dream about him and found herself wandering to the kitchen. The cooks were bustling about and Kit was left to wander unnoticed, nobody willing to dare ask what she was doing up.
There was an older cook there, Teersa, who would take the time to notice her and sit her on a stool, often having to lift her because Kit was too small or tired to do so herself. She would then push a cup of warm milk into Kit’s hands and offer samples of the baked goods they were preparing for that day.
Kit brought Jade down one day when their friendship was still relatively new, pleased when Teersa merely pulled out another stool and hoisted Jade up on it as if she had done so many times.
Going to the kitchens on rough nights when one didn’t know how to comfort the other became a tradition. Whether it was Kit dreaming about her father leaving or Jade with her family dying, they would show up to two stools set aside and Teersa giving them a patient smile.
Kit took the familiar path, the stone floor cold under her bare feet. She gripped Jade’s hand in hers to ensure that she really was there. Jade followed just behind her, ignoring the glances from the guards and squeezing her hand each time someone passed.
On their way to find Teersa, they ran into someone else.
“Elora?” Kit’s voice startled the girl and she fumbled with the bowl she was holding.
“Kit!” Elora greeted her, glancing at Jade. “Oh, Jade. Hello. What are you both doing up?”
“I could ask you the same thing?” Kit eyed the girl in front of her, noticing her exhausted frame.
Elora fiddled with the apron she was wearing. “I couldn’t sleep,” she admitted far easier than Kit ever would. “I used to rise early to help them bake. I guess… I don’t know. I know that I’m the Elora Danon now but I’d really just rather pretend to be a cook for a few minutes.”
“That makes sense to me,” Kit watched Elora as she set the bowl down. “What are you making?”
“Oh!” Elora perked up slightly as if she was happy to occupy her mind with literally anything else. “My muffins.”
Kit perked up. “Ah. That’s what I smell?” She had gotten spoiled by Elora’s good cooking. Perhaps it was foolish to think of something such as a single cook’s food as better than everyone else, especially coming from a kitchen of royal cooks, but Kit was convinced that Elora could make anything taste good, even mud. “Can I have one?”
“In a moment. They’re cooling off,” Elora gestured to a table that was filled with perhaps too many muffins.
“Planning on feeding an army?” Kit reached for one, pouting when Jade smacked her hand away.
“Uh,” Elora’s face burned red and it wasn’t the heat of the kitchen. “No. I didn’t mean to make so many, I just… needed to clear my head.”
“You don’t have to explain,” Jade pipes up, moving closer to Kit. “We get it.”
Elora’s shoulders slumped. “Right,” she breathed out in relief. “You do, don’t you? I’m sorry, it’s just the queen--”
“My mom talked to you?” Kit perked up slightly.
“She seemed rather upset. She wanted to know more about what happened after she stopped us in our story. I did my best but with how you didn’t mention the Bone Reavers in the first part, I fumbled a little at getting Jade help,” Elora glanced at Jade. “Sorry.”
“She’ll probably figure it out sooner or later,” Kit mumbled with a shrug. Then again, her mother may forget completely. “Did… did she mention what she was upset about?”
Elora glanced at her with a small frown. “No…” She blinked a few times before it dawned on her. “Did she speak with you? What happened?”
Kit glanced at Jade, wondering if she was alright with Elora being in the know. Jade gave her a small smile and squeezed her hand. “My mother found--”
“Hi,” Airk sleepily tumbled into view, running a hand through his hair as he spoke through a yawn. “Having a party without me?”
“Never,” Elora replied as she hooked her foot around a nearby stool and pulled it out for Airk to sit.
“Whatchya talking about?” Airk rubbed his eye as he sank into the chair, reaching for a hot muffin before his hand was smacked with a wooden spoon in Elora’s grip.
Elora glanced at Kit. Airk followed her gaze. Kit glanced at Jade, suddenly nervous.
“She found Kit and me kissing,” Jade spoke and Kit felt her squeeze her hand. “And was displeased.”
Airk sat up a little, shaking the sleep off. “And?”
Kit shrugged slightly, glancing down at the floor. “She said we’d talk more in the morning…”
It was quiet for a few moments as the group soaked up the unspoken inference of what conversation would take place soon.
“Well…” Elora broke the silence first. “I’m happy for you two.”
Kit’s head jerked up to look at her. “Really?”
Elora’s nose wrinkled in confusion as she tilted her head to the side. “Yes. Does it not sound like it?” She sat up and tried again. “I’m really happy for you, Kit.”
“Yeah,” Airk nodded his head in agreement. “I always knew that you’d pick some things up for me to one day woo a love of your own.”
Kit couldn’t help the snort of laughter that escaped her. “I learned what not to do from you.”
Airk let out a satisfied nod. “I still taught you something then.”
With their relationship out in the open, Jade shuffled closer to her and Kit leaned into her side, taking a deep breath as her girlfriend draped an arm over her shoulders.
“I think that this calls for a celebration,” Elora clasped her hands together. “Who wants muffins?”
“She only called for you,” Jade reminded Kit as they walked toward the throne room where Sorsha had requested that they speak.
“Well tough shit, you’re coming too,” Kit gripped Jade’s hand tighter. She doesn’t think she could handle being separated from her at the moment. “Where I go, you go.”
“And where I go, you go,” Jade agreed softly, squeezing Kit’s hand. “It’s going to be alright.”
“You don’t know that,” Kit was fully prepared for the worst.
“Whatever happens, happens,” Jade tugged Kit to a stop just down the hall from the throne room, pulling her hand up to her lips to press a kiss to her knuckles. “We’ll deal with it together.”
Kit and Jade, side by side, attached at the hip, dealing with something big together. It wasn’t unusual but Kit’s heart still fluttered in her chest. “Together,” she echoed.
The throne room was empty when they entered. Sorsha sat poised on the throne, sitting up when she saw them. “I said to meet me alone--”
“We’re either talking with Jade here or not at all.” Kit wasn’t sure where she mustered the strength to talk back to her mother but Jade’s hand squeezing hers gave her the confidence she needed.
Sorsha let out a deep sigh but inclined her head, resigned to the extra person in attendance. “Very well. We left off on an unfinished conversation.”
“I told you that I found true love just like you did with Dad.” Perhaps Kit was cruel to bring her father into the conversation against her mother but she wanted to be able to come out on top. She liked to think that her father would have supported her and even given her stupid ways to ‘woo’ Jade.
“Kit…” Sorsha breathed out, looking instantly tired. “You are a princess. It is your duty to provide an heir to the throne.”
“Is that what this is about?” Kit felt her mouth gape. “The only reason you disapprove of my relationship with Jade is because she can’t give you an heir?”
“It is your duty, Kit,” her mother started once again before Kit interrupted.
“If having a kid is so important then can’t I just adopt or something?” Kit wouldn’t mind adopting, especially if she didn’t have to adopt a baby and could skip all the messy steps.
“We need to continue the royal bloodline, Kit. I’m sorry,” her mother sounded genuinely apologetic, taking Kit off guard.
“In case you forgot, I have a brother,” Kit let go of Jade’s hand to take a step toward her mother, her legs wobbling beneath her in desperation. “He can give you an heir!”
“That’s not the same thing,” Sorsha rose from the throne.
“Oh, so you’re okay with me marrying for love as long as it’s a boy who can give me a kid?” Kit demanded, her heart sinking with each word that left her mother’s lips.
“Kit…” Sorsha breathed out.
“That’s not fair!” Kit knew that she sounded like an unruly child but she just wanted to have this one thing that was hers. She’d put up with being a proper princess if she just got to have Jade at her side.
“Life isn’t fair, Kit,” Sorsha straightened up, starting to walk toward her.
“So if I went out and got myself my own Madmartigan, then you’d be fine? You’d be happy and approve a wedding as long as he promises to give you all the babies you want? Fuck, were you really expecting me to make babies with Graydon?” Kit cried out, the name of her dead friend choking her. She hoped that Graydon was at peace and that he wouldn’t mind her using him to pursue love.
Sorsha’s frame got tenser with each step. “Kit… “she warned.
“I know, I know! Don’t speak ill of the dead. But I didn’t love him romantically. I never would. I don’t like boys, Mom! How soon after marrying was I supposed to just start popping babies out for you? Immediately?” Kit wouldn’t let her mother get a word in. “I’m sixteen, Mom. Do I look responsible enough to have a baby?”
“Kit--” Sorsha tried to interrupt once again.
“Not to mention that I wouldn’t even want to have sex in the first place. I would refuse. You would have to tie me down to make me do it. You would have to--”
“Kit Tanthalos!” Sorsha barked at her and Kit’s breath caught in her throat.
“You--” Kit tried to get out but the arguments she had crumbled into nothing in her hands. “You--”
A figure blocked her view of her mother and Kit barely got a blurry glimpse of Jade’s face before she was swept up in a tight embrace.
“Shh, my love,” Jade whispered into her hair. “I’ve got you.”
Kit hadn’t even realized she was crying until the splat of a drop soaked into Jade’s shoulder.
“Kit,” her mother said and there was the sound of her moving forward. Jade spun on her foot, Kit in her arm.
“Enough is enough,” Jade said firmly to Sorsha. “I made a promise to keep the princess safe. I would protect her with my life. I will fight whatever comes our way if I must. I will keep her from harm.” There was a pause as Kit pressed her face into the crook of Jade’s neck. “I will keep her from you if I must.”
Kit curled her fingers into Jade’s shirt, wanting to shake her and demand that she took her words back and apologized. Jade had implied that the queen could be a threat, one that she would harm if she must. That alone was enough to get her hung from the crossroads.
“I pose no harm to her, Jade,” Sorsha’s voice was calm and patient, and Kit was surprised to hear that it was devoid of anger.
“Forgive me for speaking freely,” Jade clutched Kit closer to her. “Our journey has brought us closer together than ever and we realized the important things in life and how time is fleeting. I love your daughter, my queen. I would do anything for her, including giving my life if I must. But while I would die for your daughter, I would also live for her. I will strive to protect her from harm and keep her happy. I will stop at nothing to see that she feels worthy and loved. If you cannot accept this- accept us- then I hope you know what you risk losing.”
Kit could feel Jade’s heart beating wildly inside her chest. Jade leaned against her slightly, her grip loosening for a moment and cold fear surged through Kit at the thought of Jade straining herself.
The throne room was quiet for a long time and Kit moved her arms to embrace Jade, taking some of the weight so that she didn’t fall. In return, Jade brushed the tears from her face.
“I am not a bad person, Kit,” Sorsha told her. Kit finally peeled away from Jade just enough to look at her. “I do not go out of my way to make you unhappy. I try my best with the hand I was given although I suppose that I have failed.”
Kit’s eyes widened slightly, feeling Jade squeeze her shoulder.
“Your father would have known what to say regarding…” Sorsha glanced between the pair. “The two of you. Gods know that I am not perfect. I know that I am hard on you Kit but I only ever wanted the best for you and your brother.”
Kit swallowed hard at the admission. “I never asked to be a princess. Doing all of these fancy things just isn’t me. Dresses and balls and suitors. I feel like I’m drowning all the time.”
Jade’s fingers dug into her shoulder at the mention of drowning and Kit flinched slightly.
“Sorry,” Kit murmured to Jade before turning back to her mother. “I love Jade. That is not going to change, even if you forbid it. I can either love her here or we can find another place that will not restrict our love.”
“You’re only sixteen, Kit. You’re far too young to tell me that this is what you want for the rest of your life,” Sorsha said patiently as if she could convince Kit otherwise.
“I almost killed Airk.” The words left Kit’s lips faster than she could catch them. Her mother flinched slightly, her eyes widening a fraction. “I did have my first actual human kill. I was kidnapped by trolls. I jumped off the edge of the world. I drowned. I heard Dad’s voice twice. I was almost stabbed. I spent practically every night of the last week praying to the Gods above that Jade wouldn’t die in her sleep and begging them not to take her from me. I’m not a kid, Mom. Not anymore.”
“Kit…” Sorsha stepped toward them again, pausing when the two of them tensed up, ready to defend themselves if they had to. “I’m sorry.”
Kit sniffled slightly, leaning back into Jade. “Me too.”
“Well, well, well, look at what we have here?” Scorpia grinned at them as they dismounted the horse they had borrowed last time.
“Found some poor waifs on the side of the road,” Boorman teased as he jerked a thumb back to gesture at Kit and Jade. “They looked so pitiful that I just had to bring them home.”
“Ha ha,” Jade brushed past him to step into her sister’s arms. “Hi, Scorpia.”
“Jade,” Scorpia greeted her softly before looking up at Kit. “Lover girl.”
“Scorpia,” Kit greeted her back, shuffling slightly. “I hope you don’t mind--”
“I gave you my word, didn’t I?” Scorpia slung an arm around her neck before Kit could finish her sentence, Jade tucked under the other arm. “I can see it in your faces. Tell me, did they kiss yet?” She looked up at Boorman with a wide grin.
“Couldn’t keep their hands off of each other,” Boorman nodded his head. “Absolutely disgusting.”
Scorpia let out a laugh and shoved the two of them toward each other, Kit smacking her forehead against Jade’s. “Lemme see!”
“Fuck off, Scorp,” Jade laughed softly, rubbing at her forehead before she turned to look at Kit. The smile on her face softened when their eyes met.
Kit knew that Jade was waiting for her. They could either keep their relationship relatively private because Kit was scared of how others would react, or they could kiss right there with nearly half the camp watching them.
“It’s ok--” Jade barely got any words out before Kit closed the distance between them and smashed their lips together, wrapping her arms around Jade’s neck. She barely made out the sound of Scorpia whistling to egg them on.
Kit could love Jade freely. Here they didn’t have to hide. Kit didn’t have to waste more time sneaking around out of the public eye.
“I love you,” she mumbled against her girlfriend’s lips, her nose bumping against Jade’s cheek.
Jade pulled her closer, her fingers curling into Kit’s shirt. “I love you too.”
Kit had nearly lost Jade before she could truly love her. She wasn’t going to waste any more time.