do or die
It is the beginning of December when the world around them gets covered by a thin layer of white. Moving Lesso from her own chambers to Clarissa’s was a task, but risking pneumonia or any other disease caused by the cold, damp air in the school for evil would’ve been upright insane.
“Don’t be mad when you wake up and see all the Christmas decorations, okay?” Clarissa smiles lightly before she rinses the cloth in a bowl of hot water. “I already held back a whole lot, but the tree is a must.”
Leonora doesn’t react. Her eyes are closed and her breathing is even while her partner wipes her skin as careful and gentle as ever, and even if she were awake she probably wouldn’t care at all. It’s Dovey’s place after all and if she enjoys tacky Christmas decorations Leonora won’t be the one holding her back, especially if it makes her happy. A sigh comes over her lips.
“I— Leo?” The blonde woman stops and watches her with wide eyes. “Leo, are you there?”
She is taking deeper breaths. Clarissa notices the change in her breathing pattern immediately — after watching her for so long — and she quickly dresses her in a clean pair of pajamas by waving her finger. “Leonora, can you hear me?”
Nothing. Not a twitch, and Clarissa exhales before she leans back. She understands. Even if Leonora is slowly waking up and gaining consciousness her body is exhausted, in need of rest, and the dean for good wants to grant her as much of it as she can get.
_____
It takes a week. A full week, a day and four hours until Leonora suddenly gasps for air and her eyes snap open. Weak fingers are clenching around the fabric of the sheets and god, everything fucking hurts so bad that she wants to scream. And apparently she does, because just a moment after there are warm hands on her jaw, caressing the cool skin, and soft words are being muttered.
“Leonora, shhht. It’s okay. I’m here, I got you. I got you.”
Dovey’s hands are shaking. Trying hard not to panic, the woman scoots closer and lights a few candles nearby to get a better look at the dean for evil before chocolate meets the sky, until early summer mornings meet rich soil and then she’s crying.
“Oh my god, you’re awake. You’re awake.” She can’t believe it. After waiting for so long, caring for Leonora every single minute she had to spare, the dean is there and looking at her, reacting to touch and sound and light and it feels like a miracle to Clarissa. It is a miracle. “Leo..”
It still hurts. So bad, so fucking bad, but the touch is comforting and she’s safe, she’s safe, she’s safe. A hiss comes over her lips when her opposite shifts and comes in contact with her leg, and then her nerves are on fire and her joints ache, to the point where maybe ripping it out would be less painful. Actually, it feels like it’s being ripped out. A low grunt follows, just like the threatening darkness that is creeping into her field of vision. Her grip around the edge of the duvet tightens and ocean blue eyes are darting to find the chocolate orbs that seemed so familiar.
Clarissa knows. She feels it in her bones, feels the fear that sends a shiver down her back. But there’s not much she can do to help and so her fingers curl around the other dean’s jaw, hold her, let her know she’s not alone. “You’re okay, Leo. We’ll fix this. I promise.”
And then she’s out.
_____
It takes two days for Leonora to gather enough strength to open her eyes again. This time she’s by herself — it’s bright, the sun is shining through the large windows and blinds her — and the pain is still bad, still nagging, still burning, but manageable. It’s getting better.
Sitting up isn't an option. Her body doesn't listen to her and it’s impossible to move, but this is a fact she is having a hard time dealing with. It isn’t unusual for her to lose memories. Sometimes abusing her magic or overworking herself can do that to her and then it takes a few days for them to come back, but this time there is nothing, just absolutely nothing in her head, and for a brief moment the dean wonders what sound she would hear if she smacked her forehead. Maybe an echo? She isn’t sure.
But something isn’t right. Her rooms aren’t that bright, neither in summer nor winter, and the floral smell around her— her eyes widen. Clarissa. “Cla-” Her voice breaks. Clearing her throat hurts and takes a surprisingly big amount of strength and effort. “Clarissa?” Silence. At least that works and even though her throat feels raw and begins to ache almost immediately she hasn’t lost the ability to talk.
“Clarissa.”
And then there is a loud pop, one that makes her flinch so hard that her whole body begins to hurt again, but the fairy godmother appears out of nowhere by the door and approaches her quickly.
“Leo” she begins, eyes wide, and leans forward to carefully cup her right cheek. “I’m sorry, I was teaching and—”
“‘s fine” the redhead mumbles. She hates when Clarissa rambles — that she remembers — and needs her to stop, to explain what has happened, why she is experiencing all this. There are too many questions to ask and god this sucks, so bad. “Help.”
The blonde haired woman nods. “Of course” she says and finds a spot on the edge of the mattress, carefully tucking the blanket aside while trying not to move too much or nudge Leonora’s leg. She is still way too excited to see her partner awake and alert, seemingly healthy, but at the same time she knows that her opposite prefers a calm environment, especially now. Overwhelming her would make everything worse. “How?”
“What the fuck happened?”
“You don’t remember…“
Lesso swallows and keeps her eyes on the other woman, slowly shakes her head. Pain. “Nothing. I remember you and I remember waking up but not going to bed. It doesn’t make sense.”