It was always the same. The same dream that plagued her mind over and over again. Well, not exactly the same. Sometimes it was medieval, sometimes it was romantic. But most of the time, it was a coast.
The ocean slowly crashed into the sand, leaving little trails of sand crabs underneath the surface, digging into the ground just as the waves would wash over them. Only to hurry and burst out when the water was over them. Repeating the process for the rest of eternity until they slowly met their demise.
She saw the landscape around her. The sky was always near sunset. The sky was littered with a few puffy clouds, none threatening rain. Just decoration for the world she was trapped in for a few hours at a time. The oranges and pinks met the blues and purples that were beginning to create the night sky ambiance that would always envelop them. The scarce trees that sat at the edges of the path down to the coast were swaying in the wind, leading to a cobblestone castle.
The windows of the castle were lit, bustling with life within the building. She swore she could hear the sounds of glasses clinking, and people chattering about various things. But in a language, she couldn’t quite understand or grasp. Too far and too muffled to even attempt to understand.
She would always glance down, revealing to herself the same outfit. A simple, yet intricate, dress. Slightly puffy, with little frills at the edges. Nothing too much, but at the same time… Just beautiful. Every time she would glance at her dress, pressing down the very few wrinkles she would hear her.
“You came back!” A feminine voice pulled her from her trance, turning to see a woman running toward her. Always faceless minus the smile. The same smile that was incredibly full of love.
She was taller, slim, and almost always talking about whatever was going on in the castle behind her. Chatting with her about the different conversations she had had with various royals, and how her skills were going over the top with everything her instructors had predicted.
“You know, I could ask my father to let you join us.” Her voice was incredibly similar, but before she could even begin to ask any questions, the two would stop, watch the ocean, and she would turn to look at her. “I wish the times were different… We could love each other in public rather than in secret meetings like this,” She would sigh, and it hurt her. “Yoohyeon, you’re probably the only one who understands me…”
And right when she thought the mask was fading… Her alarm would pull her out of it all.
It pained her to be torn from the dream, screaming internally about what it all meant. What the woman meant, who she was, and why it was so often that she had this dream for years now.
But like all of the questions that plagued her mind, none of them had answers. None of them could be answered. All of her big questions never had the answers she was looking for. Why her pets died so soon? Never an answer. Why she was never good at making friends? She, of course, deemed her own problem, that she wasn’t great with people, but as her mother would say, she couldn’t speak on behalf of others, but it wasn’t Yoohyeon’s fault. People just didn’t see the greatness of her mind and personality long enough to become her friend.
Now, here she was, years later, crying about an extremely hard day. It was late, and she wasn’t entirely sure why she was crying. She couldn’t help it. She was exhausted and it was all catching up to her.
By morning, she was dragged out of a dreamless sleep, wondering where her recurring dream had gone. She was able to get herself ready for work, walking with her members to the black van that was going to take them to whatever building had them booked.
Yoohyeon watched as the others interacted, seeing the giant smiles on their faces while they waited. It was long after they had their hair and makeup finished, dressed for their stage that was yet to come. She fought back a yawn, deciding to roll her jacket up and use it as a pillow on the small couch.
She fell asleep to the laughter and screaming of her members, trying her best to just rest before they had to go on. Before long, she drifted off into familiar territory, finding herself on the same beach, at a different time of day.
Clouds were painted in the sky, a dark grey, threatening to drop any type of rain over her as she walked the beach. The ocean wasn’t as far as she would’ve liked, finding it higher and near her bare feet as she continued her way to the familiar area she would hide in. Her eyes scanned the little bay, seeing the path and familiar cobblestone castle. She could see the windows lit up with an orange glow, frowning when she waited, only to find that the mystery girl wasn’t going to show.
She made her way down further, unaware of how much everything changed. Her clothing had changed, and everything around her changed. The cobblestone castle was now ruined behind her, covered in moss and showing clear signs of physical wear in the distance. She saw more modernized buildings, then found a small covering. A little canopy of sorts.
She walked toward it, hearing the roll of thunder and the familiar sound of rain hitting the ocean to her right. She rushed over, standing in the canopy before sitting on the sand, watching the rain hit the water in front of her.
“It’s hard to see the world like this,”
Yoohyeon turned her head, hearing the familiar voice, but still not seeing her face. Only the smile seemed to have faded into a frown.
“Do you think the world will ever reveal itself out of the rain?” She asked, turning her head to look up at Yoohyeon.
Her hair was darker, longer even. Modern clothes, and incredibly different now. How could she be so different yet the same person?
The faceless girl sat next to her, letting out a small sigh as they both sat in silence. Both watched the rain come down in sheets as they waited for it to clear.
“You’re still silent… I wish you would speak to me sometimes,” The woman whispered. “But sometimes… I feel like you can’t see me, let alone even hear me,” She sighed.
Yoohyeon wanted to say so much to her, wanted to ask her who she was, why she had been gone for so long, and why she showed up now. She had so many questions, but when she looked at the woman, it seemed as if everything in her mind would just disappear. She looked to have many worries stuck in her head, but couldn’t let them escape her mouth.
“One day you’ll see me… And I fear you won’t even remember who I am.”
She woke up with a start, hearing Bora’s familiar shriek of a laugh as she was startled awake. Her eyes darted all over the place, searching for a familiar face. But she saw her members, each one laughing at her sudden jolt.
“You were so out of it,” Siyeon teased.
Mm…” Yoohyeon just nodded her head, letting them tease her. Her mind was plagued with so many questions. Why after so long had she dreamt of the mystery lady? Why was everything different? Why was it raining? Why couldn’t she speak to her? Why her? Who was this lady and why was she worried that she wouldn’t remember her?
“Are you sick?” Minji’s concerned voice brought her back to reality, placing a cold hand on Yoohyeon’s forehead before moving to her cheeks and neck. “You aren’t warm…” She frowned.
Yoohyeon glanced up, recognizing the frown before pulling away. She stared deep into Minji’s eyes, watching her eye her suspiciously.
“You aren’t yourself these days…” Minji frowned.
“I-I’m fine,” Yoohyeon tripped over her words and she wished she could’ve sounded entirely more confident.
Her nights were plagued with the same dream, meeting the faceless girl under the canopy near the ocean. Sometimes with a clear sky, sometimes with clouds, and on her worst possible days, rain. She hated when it rained because she never had the energy to look at the faceless woman that sat next to her.
On a particularly hard day, she was seated on the sand, tears slowly falling down her cheeks. She wasn’t sure how long she had been seated under the canopy by herself. It was a cloud-filled day, and she was just entirely upset. Nothing had gone right and she was honestly happy to be seated alone.
Far away from civilization, stuck in her dream world that was soothing. The waves crashing against the shore in a near rhythmic way were calming. Allowing her to just feel everything and let it all out. She was far into her own mind when she felt a hand on her back. When she looked over, she saw the faceless woman, but her hair was different. Blonde this time.
“I see you struggling so much…”
Yoohyeon looked away, deciding to not divulge her own wants. This woman was just someone her mind conjured up to help her cope with stress. Someone who was always going to be there and never judge her.
“You know you can just talk to us… Me especially.”
Yoohyeon knew the voice, looking over to see the blur fading. Her face slowly came into focus.
“I know I don’t talk about my own feelings a lot, but sometimes… It hurts,” She whispered. “And I hear you crying often–I wish I knew how to help you…” the faceless woman looked at her, frowning. “But I’m honestly terrified that I’ll make it worse…”
Yoohyeon tried her best to focus, she knew the voice, knew the lips, everything. She just needed to see her face.
“I promise to be better…”
She was yanked out of her dream, looking around the dorm living room when she realized who she was next to. Siyeon was seated on the couch next to her, hand on her back and eyes glued to the tv in front of them.
Yoohyeon studied her face, recognizing everything from her dream. Siyeon had long blonde hair just like the faceless woman from her dreams. Her pout was the same and she sounded just the same.
“Unnie?” Yoohyeon mumbled, catching the older woman’s attention. “What are you doing?” She frowned.
“You were crying in your sleep… I didn’t want to wake you up, but I wanted to try and comfort you,” She mumbled.
Yoohyeon nodded her head, deciding to sit up instead of taking so much room on the couch. She glanced around, seeing that most of the lights were off, and the dorm was oddly quiet.
“Where is everyone?” She asked.
“Dami, Gahyeon, and Handong are asleep. Sua and Jiu unnie went out.” Siyeon shrugged her shoulders, eyes going back to the tv. “I took advantage of the tv,” She smiled.
Yoohyeon nodded her head, letting out a small hum before getting comfortable on the couch again. Her legs were draped over the older woman’s legs, content with watching whatever was on the tv in front of her. She was entirely confused as to what the plot was, and if anything important had happened while she was asleep, but her mind wasn’t focused on what was going on. Her mind was focused on who this woman from her mind was.
Years she had spent focused in on who this woman was, only for her to disappear and reappear whenever she wanted. Revealing that she was entirely someone else every time. It was starting to do more harm than good. She cursed her curious mind for wanting so many answers.
Two weeks had gone by without a glimpse or even a word of the faceless woman in her dreams. But she was always brought to the beach. Always seated under the familiar canopy, watching the waves until she heard the crunch of the damp sand behind her. She had given up her hopes of ever figuring out who this woman was days ago, and now she was going to have it hit her like a car all over again.
“Why do you keep coming back?” Yoohyeon spoke. Her ability to talk finally showed and now she could feel relieved. Finally asking so many unspoken questions.
“I needed to find you again… And now that I have, I’m afraid,” She whispered.
“Afraid of what?” Yoohyeon sighed. “You’ve been in my head for years. You’re just a figment of my imagination,” She finally exploded. All of her doubts and fears bubbled up in front of the stranger her brain had created.
“We’re linked and it’s taken me years to find you… Over and over again,” She spoke. “All those places we’ve been together… Past memories revealing themselves to you… Showing you the way back to me. Back to us… And now we’re so close… You feel it just as well as I do in the real world.”
Yoohyeon finally looked back, nearly gasping at the sight of the woman next to her.
“And my fears were true… You saw me and didn’t remember me,” Siyeon spoke quietly.
“I… I’ve never seen your face until now… How was I supposed to know it was you?” Yoohyeon whispered.
“Our love is still the same as it was all those years ago… That… Doesn’t need a face for you to see.”
Yanked away from her dream, finally able to have answers made her scream into her pillow. She hated everything about her brain and now she was conflicted. She couldn’t just barge into Siyeon’s room and demand answers. For all she knew, it was entirely one-sided and in her mind. Siyeon was just a good listener and a great friend. Nothing more than that.
Until the two had a fight. Yoohyeon had been actively avoiding her when it came to hanging out. Choosing to be by herself or join others on their little adventures during their breaks. It had been months since the reveal of the faceless woman and Yoohyeon refused to believe that she had met Siyeon in multiple past lives and fallen in love with her.
“You’re avoiding me as if I’ve done something wrong!” Siyeon shouted at the top of her lungs.
The rest of the group was seated in the living room, listening to the final crumble of the two girls in the back bedroom.
“You haven’t! It’s complicated to explain!” Yoohyeon fired back.
“Then start trying! I can’t keep going through my day-to-day thinking you hate me for something I did!”
Both girls were near tears, Yoohyeon struggling to explain her own struggle while Siyeon broke down in front of her. The older woman sat on the bed, holding her head in her hands at the mere thought that she really had done something horribly wrong without knowing.
“I’ve… I’ve been having this dream… And…” Yoohyeon whispered, tears still sliding down her cheeks. “You… You’ve been there and I didn’t know it was you until recently. You told me that you were afraid I wouldn’t remember you if you revealed yourself,” She explained. “That we… We…” She felt the familiar pain in her throat, the familiar pain of trying not to cry on the spot.
“We were past lovers?” Siyeon finally spoke, sniffling as she watched the younger woman nod her head. “The canopy… The beach…” She whispered.
“How do you know…” Yoohyeon frowned.
“I have the same dreams. Every single night.” Siyeon explained. “Every night I’m on that beach, waiting for someone to walk down. The woman never showed her face, and I never knew what to do… But I talked. I talked to her and just admired her even with how silent she was,” She whispered.
Yoohyeon fell to her knees, tears and full sobs now escaping her lips. She couldn’t believe any of it. It sounded like a stupid romantic drama. This didn’t happen in real life. This was only in movies and books and shows. Not real life. She couldn’t have this. She just couldn’t.
All of her questions, all of her unanswered questions were right there. Right there next to her the entire time. Her own member. One she didn’t even think could cause these kinds of feelings. Her chest hurt, her head was spinning and everything felt weak.
It was a rough few days after. They promised that they were fine, that everything just needed to settle over and be talked more about. To Minji’s surprise, the girls did chat every single day. Their once-great friendship felt awkward and a little forced at times, but they were managing. Trying their best to get through their days without thinking of the dream they shared.
It wasn’t until they found themselves in the dorm living room, both scrolling through a streaming app late into the night, looking for something to watch together since they couldn’t find their own slumber. They settled on a cartoon, one that was mundane enough to not entirely pay attention to and find their tiredness.
Yoohyeon had settled on the couch with Siyeon next to her, both of them watching the bland cartoon introduction and then being only a little entertained while waiting for sleep to overtake them. It wasn’t long before the youngest of the two succumbed to the exhaustion she was feeling and fell asleep during the third episode. Siyeon had dozed off a little later, ignoring the entire idea of sleeping on the couch in such a position that would certainly harm them in the morning.
But when morning came, Yoohyeon was laying on top of Siyeon, both laying across the couch with a blanket only half covering them. The eldest was awake, scrolling through her phone while she waited for the younger to wake up.
“Did you move us?” Yoohyeon frowned.
“Yeah, just wanted to be more comfortable,” Siyeon mumbled.
“Mm.” Yoohyeon rested her head on Siyeon’s chest, listening to her heartbeat for a few moments before looking back up at her. “Do you really believe we were past lovers?” She whispered.
“Why else would we have had the same dream like that? You never spoke once about it and neither did I,” Siyeon mumbled.
“It’s gone away since we talked,” She frowned.
“Mine too.”
The two were quiet, enjoying the slight silence before Yoohyeon sat up and off of the older woman. Siyeon followed suit, sitting next to the younger, and ran a hand through her hair. It was back to her usual black, letting out a sigh before shaking her head.
“Can I kiss you?” Yoohyeon whispered.
“Why the sudden question?” Siyeon asked her.
“I don’t want to surprise you and you hate it. I would rather ask and you still hate it,” Yoohyeon chuckled.
“You’re so weird,” Siyeon smiled.
Yoohyeon could feel her heart skip a beat. That was the smile she couldn’t place. The smile that she had seen for years was nearly mistaken for Minji’s a few times. Siyeon really was the faceless woman from her dreams.
Siyeon took the initiative, pulling Yoohyeon close and pressed her lips to the younger’s. It was quicker than they both liked, and when they went in for the second one, it hit them. Like a wave of every single moment and emotion, they had gone through.
Yoohyeon saw the castle from the inside, seeing Siyeon in her lavish gown and a tiara on her head. She felt the pain in her chest when she saw her being taken away from her by what she assumed to be a king. Yelling that they were to never see one another again.
She saw Siyeon running back to her on the beach, tears streaming down her face with multiple wounds all over her arms and wrists, crying about how she had escaped, promising their lives to be more freeing.
She saw everything from their pasts, promising to find each other in their last moments before being executed in a sudden town square.
When they pulled away, both had tears in their eyes. No words were spoken, both having seen the same things. Nothing needed to be said.
They found each other again, and nothing would stop them from being together.