Never Say Goodbye

3 weeks later

Regulus is a little boy, merely 7 or 8, yet the amount of fear he holds is not little. He clings onto a slightly older boy, hiding behind him from a man in front of them. Instantly Regulus recognises who this man is- his father.

The boy protecting Regulus is covered in bruises, all over his face and arms but he doesn’t back down and step away to let them get to Regulus. He stays there, listening to the man yell, strongly gripping Regulus’ hand as if he was about to drag him away any second.

“You useless children! What is wrong with you both?” his father yells at them both. His voice comes out gruff and loud, and Regulus feels himself flinch at the words.

With a belt in his hand that Regulus hadn’t even noticed before, he comes closer to the two of them and hits the older boy 3 times violently, but he doesn’t move a single muscle. Regulus wants to scream at him to stop, wants to take the pain for him, but instead he just stands there unable to move or control himself. How could my father do this? he thinks to himself, watching the scene unfold in front of him.

He raises his belt for another hit, when the door bursts open and 2 men in jumpsuits holding guns run inside. On their jumpsuits is a vest, likely bulletproof, Regulus assumes, with the letters WICKED written on them.

“Freeze where you are. We are with WICKED and we need the two kids belonging to this household for our experiments. We will take them forcefully or willingly, it’s your choice. Please understand this is for the greater good,” one of the men in jumpsuits announces.

Without hesitation, Orion grabs the older boy by the arm, pulling him towards the two men and dragging Regulus with him.

“Take these worthless children, I don’t need them anyway at least they’ll be doing some good with you.”

Regulus sees the surprise on the men’s faces, and is shocked himself. Was his father really going to give them away like this? Did he not care about them, or love them even a little? He feels the hurt and betrayal, but it’s a familiar feeling like he’s just relearning it instead of feeling it for the first time.

“We thank you for your cooperation. If you have not yet caught the flare, you may come with them to work at WICKED. We always need new hires as the flare grows, however you will need to be tested,” the other man from WICKED tells their father.

“Finally, you two have made something good happen.” He steps closer towards the two boys, and the older boy, still holding on to Regulus’ arm steps back.

“Stay away from us,” the boy commands, his voice coming out shaky but strong. Regulus knows that voice, it may have changed but he knows that voice. Then he looks at him, really looks, and he knows that face as well. Sirius.

Regulus snaps up in his sleeping bag realising it was just a dream, and tries to take in the contents of it. His father-his father never even loved him. Although Regulus had had other dreams with his parents, where they were the opposite of caring, this just confirmed it. How is he supposed to take that, realising there’s no one out there looking for him, waiting for him to come back home?

And then there was Sirius. Sirius was there, protecting him even when they were children, just like he always does. Thoughts flutter all through Regulus’ head- was Sirius his brother? It makes sense why they had become so close then, but there's no way, he thinks. If they are related, Regulus feels there would be some magical force just drawing them to each other, but that was not the case. Him and Sirius are just good friends who look after each other, nothing more. But if so, then what was going on that in the dream?

Before he forgets the dream, Regulus pulls out one of the journals under his pillow and a pen from somewhere on the floor, and begins writing down what he can remember. The visions never last long in his brain, so each time he writes them down and tries to connect it to the last, somehow trying to make sense of the world before the maze. It had been a long time since his last one, considering it had been a long time since he properly slept at night.

Regulus sleeps with two journals underneath his pillow- one of his past, and one of his present. The only people to have seen inside either of those are Sirius and Barty. The insides of them are filled with the innermost workings of Regulus’ brain: all his memories, theories, dreams, thoughts and hopes for the world, and he would personally kill anyone who tries to go through it without him knowing.

After he’s written the dream down, he limps towards the door of his hut, ignoring the crutches next to his desk. It’s been a whole month, and Regulus finds it pathetic that he still has to use crutches to walk, so he simply doesn’t. If he practices enough, he’ll either get better or be able to endure the pain more. So they lay, untouched, next to where he sleeps.

If Sirius wakes up, Regulus thinks he’d likely force them into his hands. At least that’s what the old Sirius would have done. Ever since Kingsley died, Sirius has changed- his stubborn persona gone, his energy and excitement gone, all of his personality gone. Sirius used to be the talkative one, the one who made sure the mood was never dull, but now his spark of joy’s gone, like something in him just snapped. The amount of ‘better days’ has increased recently though, where Sirius talks more and cracks jokes, but it’s never the same as before.

Tomorrow is a box day, which means a new Greenie’s going to come up into the maze. Another boy coming up into hell. His experience when he came up in the box was exactly that- the elevator ride to hell. He wonders what it will be like once he’s actually dead- no afterlife could be much worse than life itself.

Some of the Greenies were less annoying than others, like Davey, the sweet young boy who came up into the Glade last month. Regulus got to know him a little, and felt sorry for the boy whose life was ruined at such a young age, and he wouldn’t admit it but Davey reminded him of himself when he first came into the maze. Most of them, however, Regulus found quite irritating, asking so many questions, so he sticks mainly with his older friends- a list which comprises of only 3 people.

Regulus is about to leave the hut, when a voice calls out from behind him.

“Use your crutches, bloody idiot. Your leg isn’t healed yet.”

Regulus smiles to himself slightly and turns around to see Sirius sitting up from his sleeping bag, hair messed up but no bags under his eyes. Looks like he wasn’t the only one who finally got a good night’s sleep. Sirius was up early and speaking, which meant today was a good day. A good day for Sirius means a good day for everyone.

“My leg is just fine, look at me!” Regulus tries his hardest to walk normally back towards where he came from, but can’t help limping slightly. After all, his leg isn’t fully healed yet.

“Why do you not want to use them so badly? What’s the problem if you do need to use them?” Sirius asks him, a concerned tone to his voice.

“The new Greenie’s coming tomorrow. I don’t want them to look at me and just see a weak, pathetic boy on crutches who can’t even walk by himself. I’ve had enough people think that about me,” Regulus confesses.

Sirius looks at Regulus with utter pity- the one thing he yearns for people to stop feeling for him. He isn’t weak and he isn’t so fragile that if anyone has any sort of negative feelings towards him he’ll shatter, but that’s how everyone in the Glade seemed to be treating him since his accident. It’s all with good intentions, but all the sorrowful looks just make Regulus feel even more worthless than before.

“Well fine, but what are you going to do when they notice you limping and wincing in pain at every step?” Sirius raises his eyebrows at him.

“I’ll just say I hurt my leg running in the maze or something. Besides how often do I hang out with the new Greenies? They’re not going to notice.”

“Have you forgotten you’re the second in command now? It’s kind of your job, my gracious leader.” Sirius mock bows in front of him.

“Shut it.” Regulus throws a pillow at him. “Barty and Evan can do all that stuff I have other responsibilities."

“Yeah yeah, if you say so. So I see your diary’s out, did you get a memory last night?”

Regulus frowns at him, questioning whether to lie about the dream or not. “Don’t call it a diary, and yeah I did. Not a long one though, just figured out I had a shit father apparently, nothing new. Being a seer can get really annoying, sometimes I’d rather just live in blissful ignorance” he sighs.

“Well when we get out of this place I’ll kick his ass. We can do it together,” he jokes, then stands up and holds Regulus by the shoulders, becoming more serious. “You’re dad may have been cruel, but there’s someone out there who loves you more than you know, Reg.”

Regulus hadn’t realised how much he needed to hear those words until they were said to him.

“Thank you Sirius.” That phrase held more sentiment behind them than Sirius could understand at the moment. Regulus was thanking him for everything in the past 3 years, where Sirius had stood by him and protected him.

“I don’t know what you would do without me, I’m just brilliant.” Sirius grinned, back to his humorous self. “Come on then, let’s get breakfast!”

The two walk towards the kitchens together and grab food before separating and sitting at their regular tables- Sirius with the other runners, who even when he was a runner, Regulus never sat with, and Regulus with Barty and Evan, who somehow also adopted Davey into their mini friend group.

When Davey arrived at the Glade, merely 15, most people ignored him due to his young age and lack of well…knowledge. But for Regulus, he felt déjà vu from his first days in the Glade. Being the first Greenie and the youngest one in the maze at the time, no one paid him any attention. Except Sirius. And Regulus wanted to be just like Sirius, to anyone who needed it, and Davey did.

“Hey guys. Excited for tomorrow?” Regulus sits down on the seat next to Barty, Evan and Davey in front of them.

“Yes!” Evan and Davey exclaim, while Barty instantly says “No!"

“I’m finally not going to be the newbie,” Davey announces, and Regulus can’t help but smile at him. He was so innocent, so pure, not yet tainted by the horrors of life. How Regulus wishes he could go back to that.

“Barty’s just scared the Greenie’s not going to like him.” Evan snickers.

“Do you realise how little people here actually like us here? And now I’m supposed to be this amazing leader to some new guy? Why did I think I could do this?” Barty groans, putting his face into his hands. Dramatic as ever.

“Come on, everyone loves us.” Regulus raises a questioning eyebrow at Evan, doubting what he just said.

“Don’t look at me like that now. We don’t even need anyone else, do you want to be buddies with Severus now, or Ted, or Xenophilius? Everyone here’s just an idiot, who cares about them?”

“You also have me!” Davey chimes in.

“See, we have Davey as well, if anyone else was sitting at this table it would just be strange,” Evan concluded.

“Whatever you say, you loner.” Evan frowns at Regulus, giving him a pointed glare as if to say look at yourself. Regulus just rolls his eyes and continues. “Barty, you going to add anything or just sit there panicking?”

“What if he like, convinces everyone to overthrow me as leader or something?”

The rest all simply laugh at their friend’s worry. The last time they did anything ‘simply’ for a while.

“Sirius! Since when are you up this early on a day off without being dragged out of bed?” Frank teases his friend approaching the table.

“Haha very funny. Can’t wait to see what other brilliant jokes you have up your sleeve, Franky boy.” Sirius lightly slaps the boys head, messing up his combed back long, brown hair.

“I have plenty, just saving them for the perfect moment. But seriously, since when do you ever wake up early on purpose?” Frank questions him suspiciously.

Sirius shrugged, “Just had a good night’s sleep I s'pose, didn’t want to stay laying in bed.”

“I don’t believe it for a second.”

“Believe whatever you want, Frankenstein. What were you guys talking about anyways?” addressing Ted, an older boy, and Xenophilius, two of their fellow runners.

“Just about how we’re dreading running in this awful heat all day, I swear all the days are getting hotter and the nights are getting colder,” Ted complains.

“I can certainly make you hotter in the nights.” Sirius winks at him, shamelessly flirting in front of everyone. A light blush spreads across Ted’s face and they all can’t help but laugh.

“Get your filthy mouth out of here!” Frank jokes, lightly pushing him away.

Sirius, being Sirius, pretends to fall off his seat on to the floor and acts as though he’d been betrayed and killed.

“How…could…you?” he rasps out, dramatically falling to the ground.

Once the rest all laugh, he gets up to do a small bow, murmuring quiet thank yous. Sirius could pretend and act all he wanted, but it wouldn’t erase the empty feeling stuck inside of him.

***************

“Come on, just a few more minutes Alice,” Narcissa groans, clinging on to the girl laying next to her.

“Fine, a few more minutes, but that’s it,” she orders, while stroking the other girl’s long blonde hair. “How’d you sleep, did you get any memories back?”

“I don’t give a shit what I remember in my dreams. Me knowing who my parents are isn’t going to help anything,” Narcissa muses.

“Some of them might be useful! You’ll never know if you just forget them the second you wake up.”

“Let’s just forget that right now. Let’s just be here for a moment. Relax Alice, you never do nowadays.” Narcissa pulls Alice closer to her, bringing their lips to a close for a moment before pulling back. Alice pulls closer again, wanting more, and their lips meet once again in a deep, passionate kiss, before Narcissa moves back once again.

“I thought you were the one who said we had to get up soon,” she winks at her, getting up from the sleeping bag she was on.

“Ugh, you’re no fun,” Alice moans, before also doing the same.

“Wait Cissa.” She grabs hold of Narcissa’s wrist and the blond girl pauses, turning around. “Before we get ready, I really need to talk to you about something.”

“Should I be worried?”

“No, no, it’s just about Dorcas and Ma-”

She’s cut off by Narcissa, who becomes visibly angry at the mention of their names.

“I don’t want to talk about them. You’re friends with them and they hate my guts, that’s it. We already got over what happened at the meeting, we’re not starting this again!”

“No, listen to me, we have to talk about this!” Alice practically yells, causing Narcissa to stop and pay attention. “Things with them are so tense, especially Mary, because of the expulsion, and I just think it would help if you were a little nicer to them.”

“If I was nicer to them? How about they be nice to me? It’s not my fault they can’t handle the fact I’m the only honest person with brain cells in this place. And don’t blame me for whatever friendship problems you’re having, you’re the one who decided it was the right decision to send the Rosie out into the maze, not me, and I support you in that, but it’s not my fault your so called ‘friends’ don’t!” Narcissa takes a deep breath, after shouting all of that.

Alice takes a step back, a wounded look on her face. They had argued before, but not like this. It was bound to happen after a year of their secret relationship, but Alice never expected it to go so wrong. She wants them to make it out the maze together, into the real world, and live a good, normal life together.

“I just-I just feel so guilty about Petunia. I just want everyone to get along, I-I don’t want anything to go wrong anymore.”

“You know what would make you feel less guilty about Petunia?” Narcissa crosses her arms and gives her a glare, as though she’s suggested the same thing many times.

“Yes, yes I know and I’m not doing that! If I stop sending the runners out then all hope of escaping is just gone. We’ll be stuck in here forever, I don’t want that!”

“Well from what I’ve seen in my ‘visions’, the real world isn’t a whole lot better than life here. We might be better off just making this place a home instead of letting so many people die trying to escape,” Narcissa attempts to convince her, but Alice won’t budge.

“I’m going to get us out of here, and were going to live a great life in the real world, I promise. Now I really do need to get going, the others will be worried I’m taking so long. Please try think about what I said.” She presses a kiss to Narcissa’s cheek, before hurrying out of their hut.

“Bye, I guess,” Narcissa mutters at the door left open, that she just walked out of.

Alice walks over to her usual table with Dorcas and Mary, this time featuring Pandora and Sybil, a young 14 year old who arrived at the Spring a few months earlier. Right now, Alice thinks, Sybil and Pandora are probably the only ones who want her there. Ever since Petunia’s expulsion from the maze, where Mary refuses her duty to push her into the maze which earned her a day in the pit, Alice and Mary had not been on the best terms, which extended to Dorcas due to the fact her and Mary were practically inseparable. But everyday, Alice still sat at that table trying to resolve all of their issues. Life is too short to hold grudges, she always thought.

“Hey, how are you all?” she asks approaching the table, wary to sit on the side where Pandora is.

Pandora and Sybil respond cheerfully, which Alice is eternally grateful for, while Dorcas gives a small wave, and Mary does not respond, but instead gives a very short glimpse of a smile. Alice is sick of it, sick of all the fighting and awkwardness. They were stuck in this together and she wasn’t going to stay like this forever with them.

“Mary I need to talk to you. Alone,” she says.

Dorcas glances a quick look at Mary as though to ask if she’s okay with it, and Mary responds with a slight nod which Alice takes as a good sign.

“Great, come on.” She practically drags Mary out of her seat to the gardens, ignoring the surprised look on her face.

“Hey I was still eating!” Mary exclaims.

“I’m sorry but this is really important.”

“What’s so important now?” Mary rolls her eyes at her, arms crossed across her chest.

“This! You! Us! You don’t even want to be around me anymore, and you’re doing a shit job at hiding it as well. We used to be so close Mary, what happened?” she pleads for an answer.

“You want to know what happened? You did! We were doing fine until you stopped caring about people’s lives, and now you defend Narcissa all the time, as if she isn’t constantly harassing me and Cas!"

“I’m just trying my hardest to be a good leader and do what’s right. It’s so difficult trying to make the right decision sometimes,” she admits.

Mary’s voice grows softer. “Let me help you then. I’m your second in command for a reason. You don’t have to put all of this on yourself, let us be there for you. Just stop spending all your attention on working and Narcissa.”

“About Narcissa…she isn’t trying to be rude. She really isn’t. She’s just an honest person, and sometimes it’s hard for her to tell when she goes too far sometimes.”

“You and her…there’s something going on there isn’t there? I’ve seen it, the way you look at her. That’s why you’re always defending her right?” Mary speaks without a hint of judgement in her tone, which convinces Alice to nod her head and admit it.

“It was going so well, but I don’t know anymore. I wish you two would get along, you’re both two of the people I care about the most, and I’m scared I’m losing you both.” Tears threaten to fall from Alice’s eyes, but she feels a sense of relief that she can finally tell someone about her relationship.

Mary wraps her arm around Alice’s shoulder, stroking her hair before speaking once again. “Just don’t hide anything from us Alice. Let us in, and it will all be okay.”

***************

James’ nerves had been on end all day. All throughout his work, he hadn’t been paying attention in the slightest, and his mind kept getting distracted by the thought of what was to happen tomorrow. Now finally, after an excruciatingly long day, he was back in his dorm with all his remaining friends for the last time.

Dr Riddle had just been inside both his and Remus and Lily’s dorm to inform them that the first people being sent into the maze would be collected at 8am tomorrow. There was so much that could go wrong, but there was still the potential for something so great to happen that he would be a part of. Beside, it was too late to turn back now.

The atmosphere in the room is solemn. For all they know, this would be the last time they all sat with each other, together and safe. There was an unspoken fear, that once they were taken to the maze, they would belong there, unable to make it back and fulfil their plan.

“So…I guess this is goodbye for now,” Lily begins and is cut off by James.

“Don’t say goodbye, never say goodbye. We’ll see each other soon okay? Whoever goes in first just has to last long enough for the next person to come into the maze.”

An uncomfortable silence filled the room once again. The amount of fear bursting out from their minds was slowly overtaking the whole room, and it was inescapable. There was so much to say, but at the same time there wasn’t. If they said it all now, it was like giving up to the fact they’d never get the chance to say it again.

“If anything happens to any of you just know,” Marlene sucks in a deep breath. “I wouldn’t have made it this far if I didn’t have all of you. I’m so glad that I do.”

“Oh Marlene,” and suddenly Remus’ eyes are watery.

The sight of that triggers everyone, and all of a sudden they are all a mess of tears and sobs. It was scary seeing them all like this together.

“Look at us all pathetic and crying over nothing,” James laughs through the tears.

“Oh shut up and just come here,” Peter says, motioning for them all to come in for a hug.

They all do, and it feels so great to James to feel their touch and warmth for one last time. The hug lasts for what could be seconds to an eternity, until finally they let go. They all had to get a good night’s sleep in preparation for tomorrow.

“Wait! Before you guys go,” James motions towards Lily and Remus, “I have to say something.”

“If this is some cheesy goodbye speech were not doing that,” Remus protests.

“No not that, I agree no one’s doing that. I just have to say to all of you, since I don’t know who’s coming into the maze with me, that if something happens in there and you have to leave me to save yourselves or someone else do it. Our mission isn’t to save me, it’s to get everyone out of there safely, and if that means I have to sacrifice myself, then I will,” James announces, with a definite tone. They could all tell, he was not changing his mind about this no matter how much they try.

“You might hate me if I don’t but I don’t care. We’re all making it out, and that includes you so stop being a dumbass,” Marlene scolds him.

They both glare at each other for a minute, not saying anything. Eventually they back down, forgetting it for now, but neither of their minds have been swayed. There’s a tension in the air that signifies no one was willing to do that. Five selfless souls that would sacrifice themselves to save any friend, yet were being separated from their only ones.

“I guess this is goodb- see you later, then,” Lily corrects herself.

“See you soon, darling,” Marlene says, and then the red head and her best friend are gone.

“I guess we should go to bed,” Peter squeaks, finally breaking the silence. It returns as they all head to their beds, James after pressing his lips to Peter and Marlene’s foreheads. The only sound after that is the moving of bodies on blankets.

Half an hour passes and James doesn’t hear any snoring or movement. He doubts any of them would fall asleep unless they were given pills, which the doctors never provided them the luxury of. Another half an hour passes, and James hears a voice whisper in the dark.

“James, Peter, I’m scared,” the voice whispers, belonging to Marlene in the bed next to him.

“Both of you come here,” James tells them, and they both come over to his bed before scrambling on. “Whenever you’re scared, just think about us. Think about all we’ve been through together, and all that we will go through together, by each others sides. Nothing can separate us.”

Peter and Marlene stay on his double bed, one of them on each side of him, and although it’s a tight fit, he prefers it to being alone on his final night. James doesn’t know when he realised, but he knows that tomorrow night, he won’t be in this bed.

Sleep comes easier when they are all in each other’s arms.

At 7am, James’ alarm goes off and they all wake up with a consuming feeling of dread. In silence, they all take showers one by one and get dressed, awaiting one of the doctors to arrive with their fate.

James checks his watch, and at 8am fate knocks on his door. Two knocks. Knock. Knock.

James is the one to open the door to let Dr Riddle, who had been the one knocking, inside. Normally they just barge in, but he guesses they were trying to be polite on today of all days.

“James, it was you I was looking for. Please come with me. I see you woke up early today- you did not have to wear your uniform, I have a change of clothes waiting for you.”

He turns his head back one last time, just to see Marlene mouthing the words ‘good luck’ and Peter ‘see you soon’. Giving them one last grim smile, James follows Riddle, seeing Lily walking along with him, looking sick to her stomach.

After that, James doesn’t realise much of what’s happening. Riddle provides the two of them with a change of seemingly normal teenage clothes, unlike the uniform they normally wear. He’s given a pair of black cargos and a red long sleeve t-shirt, while Lily is given the same outfit with a blue shirt instead. They have the regular check-ups that he has done on plenty of other kids, and then it’s over and it’s time.

At least that’s what he believes, until Riddle walks in the room. Riddle tells the doctor doing their check-ups to “initiate the memory wipe on the swipe.” For a few seconds, he doesn’t comprehend the words, and then it hits him.

“No! You said-you said we would keep our memories in there! You’re a liar! A liar!” James screams at the top of his lungs, while he and Lily get up trying to fight Riddle, but an injection is stabbed into his arm and it all goes hazy.

“James, please remember WICKED is working for the greater good. If only you didn’t mess things up. It’s all for the greater good. Remember that- if you can.”

The last thing James remembers is Riddle’s devilish laugh, before the world goes black.