Letting The Emotions Waver

今際の国のアリス | Imawa no Kuni no Alice | Alice in Borderland (TV)
F/F
M/M
G
Letting The Emotions Waver
Summary
Chishiya wasn’t one to fall in love. He’d do hookups, sure, or even date for fun. But he’d never loved anyone. And he’d never been truly loved, too.That was until he met Arisu Ryohei. A boy who would willingly sacrifice himself for others, who - if given the chance - would save anyone. Even a horrible person like Niragi.And somehow, Arisu chipped away at his walls, piece-by-piece, until they came tumbling down…
Note
So this is like pretty long and at first I wanted it to be a oneshot but I’m thinking I’ll split it up into chapters. Yeah. Well enjoy!
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Chapter Four

“There are two games left. Chishiya can rest here, I think we should go try to complete them.”

“Usagi, you know that Arisu won’t want to just leave him here.”

“I also don’t really want to leave him here,” Kuina commented. Ann and Usagi were fighting, which is what had woken Chishiya up. Arisu was passed out beside him, and didn’t look like he’d be waking up soon.

Chishiya sat up slowly, and in the process felt something slip out of his hand. He frowned, staring at Arisu, who’s arm had slipped off the bed.

The two games left, King of Spades and Queen of Hearts. Chishiya already knew who they’d find at the Queen of Hearts game. Mira, undoubtedly. She was a Beach executive who turned out to be a citizen of the borderlands.

Reaching down, Chishiya carefully placed his hand on Arisu’s head, and sighed softly.

“I’m serious! I don’t feel comfortable leaving him here! That guy might check the hospitals, what if he finds Chishiya and brutally murders him while we’re gone?” Kuina was standing in front of Usagi, her eyebrows furrowed, lips tugged into a frown.

“I just want out of this place…” Usagi murmured, dropping her head into her hands.

“We all do. We can afford to take a break, alright?” Kuina turned as Ann opened the door to Chishiya’s room, only to reveal Arisu sitting hunched on the chair, his head and arms resting on the bed. Though, the one who was supposed to be occupying the bed was gone.

“That idiot,” Ann hissed, shaking Arisu. He woke with a start, and immediately noticed Chishiya absence. “He ran away.” Ann spoke before Arisu even had time to question where Chishiya was.

Aguni didn’t expect to see most of the beach executives ever again. Especially not Chishiya Shuntaro, the arrogant guy who acted like he was better than everyone else. And yet here he was, seemingly having sought Aguni out, and the man had no idea how Chishiya would have found him.

“What do you want?” Aguni said, going back to his work - which was sharpening a stick, they were in the forest tracking the King of Spades - while Heiya, Aguni’s schoolgirl sidekick, was checking Chishiya out.

Chishiya wore black pants, a black shirt that showed his collarbones, and a white hoodie that was halfway undone. “I have a plan to take out the King of Spades.”

“We don’t need your help. Move along,” Aguni monotoned. Heiya wondered what kind of past these two had, if Aguni seemed to dislike Chishiya this much.

And, they really did need more help. They had Arisu with them for a bit, but he jumped off a cliff. Literally. “Yes you do. I want to lead him into the city, and he’s locked on the two of your right now, for some reason. So you two will be bait, lead him into the city. I have a bomb, and you have good aim. We’d have to have to use it in a closed space, preferably an alleyway or inside a building. The explosion won’t be huge, but it should be enough to allow us to gun him down while he’s distracted.”

“So you want to throw your bomb at him, and make me shoot it?” Aguni put down what he was doing.

“Yeah. Then we shoot him like crazy,” Chishiya nodded. Heiya had no idea what was going on - she understood the plan, but not why Aguni and Chishiya were now suddenly fine with each other. They had just sat down and started discussing things like old time friends.

And only a second ago, Aguni seemed to really dislike Chishiya.

Eventually, the blonde said he had to check on something and walked away. Heiya sat in front of Aguni, raising an eyebrow. “What’s up with him? He looks like he just got choked out, his neck was bruised, he was limping, why are you letting him help us? That guy obviously shouldn’t be moving. And why did you trust him so quickly?”

“Chishiya is an arrogant asshole, but he’s not an idiot. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the smartest person in the borderlands,” Aguni reloaded his gun, then stared into Heiya’s eyes. “So it doesn’t matter if he’s immobile.”

“Then why did you originally tell him to go away?” Heiya asked, and Aguni frowned.

“Because I don’t like him.”

“That makes no sense!“

Chishiya watched the blimp - more specifically the giant portrait of a King of Spades card hanging off of it - as it approached the city. He was on top of a building, sitting on the ledge with his wounded leg hanging over the side. Below him was an alleyway, and in his hand was a bomb that he made.

Kuina had one too. If this plan failed and he died, hopefully that one would come in use.

“I guess it’s about time,” Chishiya said to no one in particular, pulling his leg back to safety and standing. He narrowed his eyes, able to spot Aguni and Heiya sprinting down the street, the King of Spades hot on their tail, only slowing to kill any unfortunate souls who got in his way.

Everyone could tell. This would be the King of Spades final battle.

Chishiya hid behind the ledge of the building, closing his eyes, and listened. At first he only heard gunshots and screams. Then footsteps, two sets of footsteps getting closer.

A third set, a fair distance away. The King of Spades. The footsteps got closer until they were passing through the alleyway, and a few moments later, Chishiya could hear quieter, slower footsteps as someone else entered the alleyway. He didn’t move. Not until they were directly under him, then Chishiya sat up.

“Aguni!” He shouted, dropping the bomb. Concrete dust flew around his head as the King of Spades shot at him, though Chishiya was able to duck in time to avoid being killed. He heard the explosion and peeked over the edge of he building again, aiming at the flames and shooting with the pistol he had. Aguni and Heiya shot from the end of the alleyway.

Chishiya saw movement, ducking down just as more bullets flew up at him. “Fireproof?” He grumbled, reloading his gun, then he got up and walked to the other side of the building.

He walked down the stairs that led to the roof, through an alleyway, then out onto the street. The King of Spades was in an alleyway across from him and to the right. Likely with Aguni and Heiya, possibly others.

“I think it was over here…” He muttered to himself, wandering over to a store and walking inside. Immediately, he winced, as the smell of aerosol hit him. “Smart. Arisu is very smart.”

Chishiya walked up to the second floor of the building, where he found Arisu spraying aerosol cans, mixing a bunch of scents together. It was already giving the blonde a headache. “So you took my advice?”

Arisu nearly fell over in surprise, having flinched so hard that he dropped both the aerosol cans he was holding, and he bumped into a shelf. “Y-yeah. How did you know that Aguni would be in that alleyway?”

“Well, I told him to be,” Chishiya shrugged. “In case my plan didn’t work… I thought you’d be the backup.”

“O-oh…” Arisu smiled softly, and he knew he was blushing. “When we saw you were gone… Well, Ann and Usagi were pretty upset, but then Kuina found your note. It’s always comforting to know that you’re on our side.”

“Because you’d be scared of me otherwise?” Chishiya’s lips pulled up slightly, for a brief moment, into a smirk.

Bastard.

“You… Anyways, we should go check and confirm whether or not the others have lured him into the alleyway.”

The two exited the building through the back door and looked into the alleyway. What they saw was very gruesome. Ann, Aguni and Heiya appeared to be dead. Kuina was well on her way there, she seemed to have been stabbed multiple times. Usagi was laying on the ground, her legs bleeding. And the King of Spades still stood.

“He made quick work of them,” Chishiya commented. And Arisu was either getting better at reading him, or Chishiya was getting worse at hiding his emotions, because he could swear that he saw worry in Chishiya’s expression. And his eyes were on Kuina.

“Hey! Come and get us!” Arisu shouted, then pushed Chishiya behind the building as bullet flew in their direction. “Come on!”

The two ran back into the store, Arisu shakily pulling the bomb out and holding it. “How did you make two of these things?”

“I was bored,” Chishiya shrugged. “And… I wanted to make one, just for myself, but then… I thought of Kuina.”

Arisu smiled, though he felt an ache in his heart. Chishiya loved Kuina, didn’t he?

He was happy for them. Of course he was. Why wouldn’t he be?

They would be good together. They were- “Arisu?”

The brunette flinched again, looking up at Chishiya. “Yeah?”

His gaze was heavy, and he seemed to be staring deep into Arisu’s soul. “Get ready. He’s outside the door.”

Arisu spun, able to see the shadow under the door. He backed up, breathing in slowly, both he and Chishiya standing with their backs to the window.

The door nob turned slightly, then paused, before returning to its normal position. Chishiya and Arisu mutually frowned. Then the door swung open and Aguni tackled the King of Spades inside. “Do it, Arisu!” Aguni shouted.

Arisu handed the bomb to Chishiya and ran forwards, bodychecking the King of Spades, then dragging Aguni across the room. They crashed into the window, falling through, while Chishiya activated the bomb and threw it forwards.

It didn’t go off. For a moment, Chishiya thought time had frozen. The bomb didn’t seem to be moving.

Then the loud bang of a gun going off reverberated in his mind, before he saw fire.

Arisu groaned in pain, slowly sitting up and assessing himself for damage. When he was sure that he wasn’t in any immediate danger, he stood, wobbly on his feet.

A strong grasp steadied him, Arisu glancing over his shoulder to see Chishiya. His forehead was cut, blood streaking down the side of his face. Chishiya was staring at the Queen of Hearts card, which hung over a building that the overgrowth just seemed to avoid, for whatever reason.

“That’s the last game,” Chishiya released Arisu, the two standing across from each other.

“First, let’s go check on the others.”

Dead. They were all dead. At least, that’s what Arisu thought when he saw each of them sprawled out on the ground, unmoving, unblinking.

And yet Chishiya - while Arisu had stopped dead - continued forwards, completely unfazed. He stopped beside Usagi, crouching down to face her. “You know, you should pressure on the wound.”

Usagi glared at him slightly, even as she took his advice. Her eyes had been closed before that. Arisu ran to Usagi while Chishiya walked over to Kuina and Ann. “Arisu. They’ll survive for 12 to 16 hours, before their wounds kill them.”

“Usagi, stay here, Chishiya and I will go to the Queen of Hearts game,” Arisu said. Usagi tried to get up, only to fall to her knees again.

“I’m coming with you guys. Chishiya is in no better condition than me, so if he gets to go, I do too,” She held onto Arisu as she got up this time. Chishiya had many things he wanted to say, but just pursed his lips and gave her a curt nod.

Arisu tried to convince her to stay for a bit longer, but finally gave up when she didn’t falter, and the three left. Thankfully, they wouldn’t have to walk far, as the hearts game was basically just around the corner.

As expected, when they reached the top floor of the building they were greeted by Mira. “I knew you’d be here,” Chishiya commented, he had that tired look about him again, and Arisu found it hard not to stare.

“Well, I didn’t expect to see you,” Mira replied smoothly. “I only expected those two.”

“Good,” Chishiya stared into her eyes. He knew what that meant. This was a hearts game, and who better to play with then two of the most compassionate people out there? The chances of them beating this game were slimmer than the chances of Chishiya beating this game.

Mira’s friendly smile returned to her features - it had fallen as soon as she saw Chishiya, as if she were intimidated by him - and she began to explain the rules. “It’s simple. We are just going to play three rounds of croquet, it doesn’t matter who wins or loses. After three rounds are done, the game is over.”

“It’s that simple?” Arisu whispered to himself, staring at Mira for any hint of a lie. But she was as unreadable as Chishiya, and the said wasn’t even looking at her.

Chishiya and Usagi sat down while Mira and Arisu played the first round. And all the while, Mira kept up a mock “pleasant” conversation, which Arisu played along with.

After Mira won the first round, she got them to settle down for tea, despite Arisu and Usagi’s protests. “So, Chishiya, are you proud of the King of Diamonds game? You completely outsmarted four incredible minds.”

“It doesn’t matter to me,” Chishiya casually leaned back, everything about his posture and expression suggesting that he was relaxed and having a normal conversation. Arisu didn’t understand how he could do that.

“Really? Nothing Kuzuryu said, either?” Mira spoke in an innocent, curious voice, but both Arisu and Usagi understood that this was some sort of an attack.

Chishiya took his time to answer, as if forming a response in his head first before speaking. “Kuzuryu… Showed me that I’ve been wasting my life away. I want to live more uncharacteristically, and be a better person.”

Arisu smiled softly at the blonde, glad that he was beginning to change for the better. Mira too was smiling. This one seemed more genuine. “Kuzuryu valued equality more than anything else. He wanted his game to be fair, and it was, in the end.”

It was silent as Mira took a long sip from her tea, looking up to admire the clouds.

As Arisu pressed her to tell them the truth, she went into a long rant, each thing she told them a bigger lie than the first. She taunted them, played with them, until finally she promised to tell them what was really going on.

“None of this is real, Arisu,” Mira began. “It’s all a simulation. It’s your imagination, mostly. I’m your psychiatrist…”

Chishiya couldn’t remember how long he’d been here, in this place, trying to get “better.” And by the sound of it, they were doing a bad job a healing anyone.

“Do you remember now, Arisu?” Mira’s voice travelled down the hallway. Chishiya climbed out of his bed, peeking his head into the hallway, and met Usagi’s gaze.

He’d never even spoken to her, and Chishiya didn’t remember where he learned her name, but shrugged off that fact.

“Take your time. I know it hurts, but sooner or later you’ll have to remember.”

“Chota… Karube…” Arisu murmured, his breathing picking up. “No… No…”

His voice… He was wailing, mourning his late friends. Chishiya was sure he’d never have that sort of reaction to someone’s death. He wasn’t like Arisu…

But Chishiya didn’t even know who Arisu was.

“Is everything coming back to you now?” Her voice, again, ringing in Chishiya’s head like a bell. Something was wrong.

What had he just been doing? Only mere seconds ago? Chishiya couldn’t remember. All he knew were the white walls of this dull place.

Chishiya was no longer listening to Arisu and Mira. He nearly ran back to his room, slamming the door shut. This wasn’t right. He was forgetting something important, alarm bells going off in his mind, heart racing.

Something… It kept going farther away, he couldn’t remember no matter how hard he wracked his brain. What should he do? Why should he even do anything? Why did he care?

He blinked, and found himself strapped to a chair by his torso, above him was an equilibrium, and around him were stations similar to his own. Empty ones.

Chishiya looked up in time to see acid descending down, about to hit him.

Another blink, and a new place. Chishiya was at the executive table, no one else was there, but it the centre of the table there was an envelop, sealed with the red printing of the word “Boss.”

This time he looked down, and saw his white sweater becoming a deep shade of crimson. It was kinda pretty.

When Chishiya looked back up, he was on the bed again, and there was a pool of blood under his feet. He stood, his vision warping, and suddenly his head ached, causing him to stumble forwards into the door.

This was all wrong. Chishiya pushed the door open and stumbled across the hallway, hitting the wall and groaning. Blood smeared on the wall, he was now bleeding from two different places, but it didn’t hurt. It just felt cold.

Chishiya reached the room Arisu was in, walking inside, and hesitated at what he saw. Arisu lay on the ground, looking rather dead, with Usagi on her knees beside him. She was bleeding profoundly. Mira was standing, a mock friendly smile on her features.

“Nice of you to join us, Chishiya. You look like you’re about to die,” She didn’t even glance at the blonde, and he had only spared her one before all his attention was on Arisu.

“Arisu, please, listen to me,” Usagi whispered desperately, her eyes bleary, she was going to lose consciousness.

The intellectual fell to his knees, sitting in a pool of his own blood. He had to move, to get to Arisu, but his limbs felt so heavy. He was just so tired.

Chishiya closed his eyes for a moment, then felt wind blowing his hair, opening them slowly. He was back in the Queen of Spades game, Arisu laying on the ground a ways in front of him. He was lit up in a blue light, while Chishiya bathed in red lighting.

Crawling forwards slowly, the bleach blonde managed to reach Arisu, and collapsed beside him. Glass dug into his shoulder blades and back, but he didn’t care, he was too tired.

They were back in the room, Chishiya letting out a sigh. “I think I remember now. We were playing a game, weren’t we?”

Mira gave him a slow nod. “But something has gone terribly wrong for you, Chishiya. I believe you’re going to die.”

She was probably right. Chishiya could hardly take a breath anymore, and he was beginning to feel the pain of his wounds. He had no idea where they came from, but it hurt, every breath hurt more than the last.

“Hey, Arisu?” He got no response. “Arisu… I’ve done terrible things in my life, I’m not a good person but… I’m willing to try again with you. Show me how to be a good person, Arisu.”

Chishiya voice got weaker and weaker as he spoke, until his dull eyes focused on the ceiling and his chest stopped moving. He and Arisu both laid in his blood.

“Looks like I’ve won,” Mira didn’t sound happy, her eyes set on Chishiya, eyebrows furrowed.

Then Arisu slowly reached for Usagi’s hand, taking it. With his other hand, he grabbed Chishiya’s, getting covered in more blood. “I’ll do it… Chishiya, I’ll show you, so let’s go back together.”

That was all it took.

Suddenly, Arisu found himself back in the game, he was laying on the ground and Usagi was across from him, the teapot shattered on the ground.

He scrambled to a sitting position and looked to his left, where Chishiya was. It looked like he had fallen out of his chair, and he had two gunshot wounds in his body.

“Oh, so now you’re awake?” That voice. Arisu’s entire body went still, he didn’t move a muscle even as his slow, shuffling footsteps got closer. Then his head moved forwards slightly as a gun was pressed against the back of his head. “I killed Chishiya, so now it’s your turn.”

“I thought you didn’t want to be alone,” Usagi managed to say through a fit of coughs.

As soon as Arisu felt the gun leave his head, he threw himself backwards, into Niragi. The bullet he shot at Usagi missed because of this. Arisu managed to get on top of him, he was blind with so much pent up anger, ripping the gun out of Niragi’s hand and pushing it against his forehead.

Niragi laughed loudly, staring into Arisu’s burning gaze. “Do it. Fucking shoot me, Arisu!”

He wanted to. God, Arisu was sure he wouldn’t feel a shred of guilt if he blew Niragi’s brains out right now. And yet something still stopped him. Maybe it was Usagi, who stared in silence. Or Chishiya, who stared upwards into nothingness.

But he couldn’t do it. And instead, he raised the gun and hit Niragi over the head as hard as he could.

The brunette got off Niragi, who was now unconscious, and crawled over to Chishiya. His shaking hand reached out to hover over one of his wounds. “Chishiya…” He basically sobbed. “Hey… Chishiya!”

“He’s gone, Arisu…” Usagi whispered.

“No! No… I can’t… Not again, please,” Arisu leaned over the smaller male, his body wracking with harsh sobs. Karube, Chota, Tatta, everyone he’d ever lost, and now he had Chishiya to add to the list.

The game… He had to complete the game. Heaving a sigh, Arisu squeezed eyes shut. He gave himself ten more seconds to feel broken, then put himself back together again and stood. The sun had set. He wasn’t sure how long Niragi had been waiting for them to finally wake up, or when Chishiya got shot, but he guessed that the blonde suffered for a fair amount of time. He also had fresh bruises and cuts on his face.

Why couldn’t Niragi target him instead?

“Let’s finish this, Mira.”

While Arisu and Mira played the last two round of croquet, Usagi carefully moved Chishiya’s body out of the glass, laying him in the bed of flowers.

Mira won the last round, the laser getting her. And then all around them was just bright, beautiful colours. Fireworks.

Just like before the game started.

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