Ladies and gentlemen, I'm the joke
A slight arc on her brow.
A gentle click on her tongue.
That was Jhoanna's first reaction when she got out of her room upon noticing the yellow note that was plastered at her door. Brow still arching, she forcefully pulled the paper to have a good sight of the letter. She squinted her eyes kasi hindi niya suot ang salamin niya this time. She sure can still see clearly enough, but the letters were so small for her bare eyes to see.
A slight arc on her brow wasn't enough, and she scoffed when she finally read the note.
"I cook some breakfast. Naparami lang. Please, eat first before you leave." -Aiah
She crumpled the paper a little bit harshly. "Mama mo breakfast." She muttered before making her way outside the apartment.
Kahit maka-ilang “Please” ka pa diyan, I’ll never eat your cooking!
The note was from her roommate, who had done something to her last night that caused them to have a little fight.
Little fight pero halos isumpa na siya ni Jhoanna.
She deserves it. She thought in her mind. In her defense, she doesn't like what she did kaya kung ano man ang maging treatment niya ngayon sa roommate niya, hindi na niya 'yun kasalanan. Serves her right for being a bitch.
Isa pa, halata naman na hindi niya kasalanan dahil sa note na nakasulat kanina.
She put on her earbuds and quietly made her way to the school. Good thing that her apartment was just a few meters away from their campus kaya hindi na niya need gamitin ang motor niya. Tipid na sa gas, nakaka- exercise pa siya. Plus, she can enjoy walking around the area, which is shaded with trees and has a nice view. Not bad.
She breathes inwardly, inhaling the fresh air to her system. She hopes nothing but to have a good day today. Kasi as a third-year student na kumukuha ng engineering, every day for her felt like she was battling with the something that she needed to defeat, dahil kung hindi, siya lang din ang kawawa. Too many recitations and activities kept happening during the week. Hindi na rin niya alam kung kailan siya nagkaroon ng magandang pahinga. Even Sundays haven't been a rest day for her dahil sa dami na ng deadlines na binigay sa kanila.
But just as she thought that this day couldn't be worse, an annoying grinning face unfortunately greeted her when she arrived at their room. She quietly cursed, her jaw and hand subtly clenching upon seeing that face. She hated this man with every fiber of her body. Hindi parin kasi siya nito tinitigilan from the day Jhoanna transferred to this school until now.
At ang mokong, isang chocolate bar naman ang dala this time tapos may kakornihang pick up line na nakalagay mismo sa packaging.
"Good morning, Jho! Sana maganda ang araw mo ngayon." Saad nito't binigay ang hawak-hawak niyang chocolate bar. He was wearing his biggest smile which made Jhoanna shiver from cringiness and disgust.
Hindi. Hindi na maganda ang araw ko dati, boi. Dinagdagan mo lang ang inis ko.
Binasa niya ang nakatatak sa packaging, "Earthquake ka ba? Shookt ako sa ganda mo eh!"
The way her eyes twitched upon reading that was a hard testament of her disgust and tremor.
But instead, Jhoanna forced a smile and gently grabbed the chocolate in Miggy's hand, avoiding even a single brush of her skin on the boy's palm.
Ngiting ngiti naman 'yung lalaki at medyo kita na rin sa mukha niya ang pamumula nung nakuha na ni Jhoanna ang simpleng gift niya. Which he didn't know… that the latter will surely get rid of it later.
Kung hindi lang siguro tinutulungan ng taong 'to si Jhoanna na sagutan ang mga assignment at lab reports na hindi niya alam, malamang sa malamang ay binara bara na lang sana niya di Miggy ngayon.
Kalma, Jho. Kasi kahit ayaw mong aminin, may relevance pa 'yang taong 'yan sa'yo.
"Thanks, Migs. Sweet mo talaga, as always." She replied while still forcing a smile, wanting so much to vomit after.
Mas lalong namula ang pisngi ni Miggy na siyang dahilan kung bakit na siya hinihiyawan ngayon ng mga kaibigan niya. Jhoanna just smirked before walking her way into her desk. She rolled her eyes when she saw Janna flashing her sarcastic smile. By how she looks now, Jhoanna doesn't need to ask why.
Padabog niyang nilagay ang kanyang bag sa upuan. "Don't even start." Agad niyang sambit nung nakarating na siya sa desk niya. Janna is her seat mate.
Janna lifts her two hands in mid-air, "Okay, Robles." She then shook her head. "But in fairness, you're getting good at acting. Maybe you should try to audition sa may REPA, baka kunin ka agad."
For the nth time, Jhoanna rolled her eyes. "No thanks, madagdagan lang ang responsibilities ko."
"I admire his persistence and consistency, though."
"Nino?"
"Si Miggy, of course, 'yung patay na patay sa'yo."
Jhoanna deeply sighed from frustrations, pero napaayos agad siya ng pwesto nang magtama na naman ang mata nila ni Miggy. Nakatingin na naman kasi ito sa kaniya kaya napwersa na naman siyang ngumiti.
She shifted from her position, making her body face Janna who was now fighting herself not to laugh.
"Gets ko naman kung ba't patay na patay siya sa akin, I mean, ako na ‘to eh-- but what the hell ba siya? I made it clear even on my first day na bading ako, beh."
Janna chuckled, "Maybe he's waiting for a miracle. Baka nasa isip niyang phase mo lang 'yan kaya umaasa parin siya."
"Tangek talaga siya 'no?" She blurted out, medyo napalakas kaya lumapit siya ng konti kay Janna at saka bumulong. "There's never a phase on this shit. From the time that I've entered this family, there's no turning back na. Never na akong magiging straight. I love women." She said, ending the absurdity in the situation.
"And besides, I realized na hindi na talaga ako makakawala sa pagkabading kasi isa ka sa mga rason kung bakit." Jhoanna added, her brows moving up and down while flashing her sweet smile and affectionate face. She poked Janna's cheek making the latter flinched in disgust. Natawa naman si Jhoanna dahil doon.
It was Janna's turn to roll her eyes, tinulak pa niya ng marahan si Jhoanna dahil lumalapit na naman ito.
Ayan na naman siya, she thought. She lost count on how many times Jhoanna said this to her.
Jhoanna wasn't subtle in her physical admiration for Janna.
Well, who wouldn't? Janna practically had the insane face card that could put anyone literally insane.
Kung sa face card lang ang basehan; Janna has small face, perfectly carved and thick eyebrows, long eyelashes, pointed nose, and plumped lips. Aside from that, she is known as the living doll in their department. Kilala rin siya sa school hindi lang sa kaniyang beauty kung hindi dahil sa pagiging volleyball player niya rin. Marami ring nagsasabi na kamukha niya si Han So Hee, kaya doon palang, malalaman mo nang palaban talaga ang face card ng isang Mikhaela Janna Lim!
Every chance she gets, she makes sure to tell Janna how pretty she was and that she made her heart race because of it. Crush na crush daw siya nito at hindi niya talaga ito tinatago.
But aside from those features, what Jhoanna drew her attention to her was her deep voice. Na kahit pumikit siya, alam na alam niyang si Janna ang nagsasalita once na marinig niya ang kaniyang boses. It's too alluring and it's too hot for her preference.
"Shut up. I'm just one of your many crushes anyway."
Gaya niyan.
For Jhoanna, the way Janna said it was making her attractive even more.
"Selos ka ba? Gusto mo ikaw nalang ang only one crush ko? We can make that work out, Janna, sabihin mo lang."
"No thanks." Janna shook her head and waved her hand, profoundly acting her disagreement. "Besides, I already have someone in mind. Not you, of course."
"Ouch talaga." Jhoanna dramatically clenched her shirt from her chest to act like she was hurting. Although this wasn't the first time that Janna told her that she was into someone already. In fact, kilala naman din niya kung sino.
"Nakailang reject ka na sa'kin, lods. Hindi na nakakatuwa."
Janna playfully rolled her eyes again with a soft smile tugging at her lips. Alam naman niya na Aiah's just messing with her, and what she felt for her wasn't too serious. Parang happy crush lang ganun.
"Siya nga pala, why do you look so grumpy kanina?" She suddenly asked when she remembered. Jhoanna groaned instantly, which made the latter nod in understanding.
Alam na niya agad kung bakit.
"Problem with your roomie again?" She asked again. Jhoanna hummed before she answered.
It was the same old reason why Jhoanna kept having a sour mood every morning.
"Tinanong mo pa! She's getting on my nerves na naman, jusko."
"Napapadalas ata ulit ang away niyo ah? Aren't you guys okay the last time?"
"Yes. But well, she should stop doing something that will make my blood boil. Alam naman niya kasing medyo sensitive akong tao pero siya--napadalas naman din ang pagiging insensitive! Minsan napapaisip na ako kung sinasadya niya na eh."
Janna chuckled and shook her head in amusement. "You sure that it's just hatred that you feel? You know na may kasabihan na "the more you hate, the more you love", right? Baka naman may feelings ka na riyan sa roomie mo pero you're just labeling it as an annoyance because you choose not to acknowledge it."
Jhoanna wrinkled her nose, and her upper lip subtly raised in horror. "As if! Swerte niya naman kung magustuhan ko siya."
Janna's brow raised, "Oh, it wasn't the other way around? And may I remind you na ilang beses mo rin sinabi na super ganda niya and siya na ata ang pinakamagandang nakita mo in your whole damn life, replacing your mom in the first place while I'm just your third?"
Inirapan lang ulit ni Jhoanna si Janna after niyang marinig iyon. Pinapaalala na naman kasi nito ang nangyari last inuman session nila.
Pero what makes Jhoanna hate about it was the fact na alam din niyang hindi niya pwedeng bawiin 'yung sinabi niya dahil sobrang ganda rin talaga ng roommate niya.
She clicked her tongue from the bitter truth. "Hindi valid ang sinabi kong 'yun kasi lasing ako that time."
And if Jhoanna can remember it clealy, iyon na rin ata ang last na inom niya dahil nandoon pa mismo si Aiah nang sinabi niya ang katangahan niyang iyon. Rinig na rinig niya... and how Jhoanna despise that moment kasi after noon, somehow, palagi nang nakakagawa si Aiah ng mga bagay na ayaw niya.
It almost felt like Aiah was doing all that on purpose.
Janna shrugged, "Mas tumatapang daw ang isang tao kapag nalalasing, urging them to tell the truth."
"Alam mo, mag shut the fuck up challenge ka nalang muna siguro? Baka pati rin sa'yo uminit ulo ko kakapilit mo eh."
"Bahala ka. I heard na sa ganoong way din nagkatuluyan ang great grandparents ko. Sige ka." Janna answered again and leaned back on her chair.
Jhoanna again rolled her eyes, kahit hindi na talaga mabilang kung ilang beses na niyang ginawa 'yun this morning. She crossed her arms before she averted her gaze in front, dahil sakto ay dumating na ang professor nila for the first subject.
But thinking about it- or she hated to admit, rather- that her roommate was effortlessly flooding her mind the whole time.
That one night when she confronted her with something, in some way, it led to a situation that had altered her mind big time.
She hated it.
Because no matter how she chooses to avoid that specific time, her mind will betray her by replaying that moment that should have been buried a long time ago.
That incident happened months ago. Tapos na. Wala na. Napag usapan na nila. Right now, dapat naka move on na siya't kinalimutan na ang nangyari kasi iyon naman ang gusto nilang dalawa.
Para maiwasan ang awkwardness. Para sa ikakatahimik nila.
Pero si Jhoanna… iyon—nag iingay parin sa isang pangyayari na dapat sana’y binaon nalang sa limot.
No matter how hard Jhoanna tried to erase that, it chose to linger in her mind. Tattooed—perfectly carved, nicely painted, and perfectly formed like art.
At sa bawat sandaling hinihiling niyang kalimutan ito'y kabaliktaran lamang ginagawa ng utak niya.
The incident was still vivid, so vivid that it felt like it had just happened yesterday.
Kasalanan mo talaga lahat, Aiah!
But just like other incidences, nairaos parin ni Aiah na makinig sa discussion habang nasa isip niya rin ang taong ayaw niya sanang isipin.
Pumipila na sila ngayon ni Janna ng meryenda nila habang free time pa nila. After that, pumwesto nalang sila sa may bakanteng kubo para kumain imbes na umupo sa cafeteria. Masyado na kasing maraming tao roon at maingay.
"Did you get your booklet?" Asked Janna while munching the food.
"Green booklet? Oo, bakit?" Sagot naman ni Jhoanna.
She noticed a little amount of sauce near Janna's side lips kaya kumuha siya ng tissue at saka ito binigay sa kaniya para siya na mismo ang magpunas.
Ayaw ni Janna na may ibang gumagawa ng mga bagay na kaya niya namang gawin para sa sarili niya.
"Yeah, that one. Magpapasign tayo ng mga tasks mamaya since I heard that they have no classes this afternoon. Gamitin daw nilang time 'yun to sign our booklets and give tasks to anyone na kulang pa ang tasks.” Jhoanna only nodded in agreement.
"And… samahan mo akong magpacheck mamaya sa master ko. She instructed me to go to her to check my improvements sa mga tasks eh."
Jhoanna stopped eating mid-air. Janna's master was her master's friend. Palagi silang magkasama. Which could only mean that makikita na naman ang taong ayaw niyang makita sana.
But whatever, she thought, shrugging her shoulders before proceeding to bite her food. Wala rin naman siyang magagawa na roon dahil hindi niya naman siya maiiwasan nang matagal.
It is what it is.
"Let's get this over with na for more connection and to be called "bayaw" or whatever." Saad ni Janna nang matapos na itong kumain bago tumayo.
"Bayaw" is a form of title or what you call someone who pursues or is pursuing Agricultural and Biosystems Engineering as a program.
At first, she was weirded out when she overheard someone calling themselves "bayaw" even though they're both girls sa school nila. Sa pagkakaalam niya kasi, "bayaw" is what you call the man who marries your sister. Brother-in-law kumbaga. If you're a girl or a boy, you can call your brother-in-law "bayaw". And so kapag dalawang babae naman ang nagtatawagan ng "bayaw" is wrong, isn’t it? Because as far as she knows, "hipag" na dapat ang tawag nila sa isa't-isa kung aasawahin ng kapatid mo ang girlfriend niya.
Mabuti nalang at meron si Janna to explain the meaning of that word and what it represents in their program.
Kaso lang, in their school, Janna and Jhoanna can only earn that title when they participate in their training. It was simply like an initiation to be part of the organization. It's just that this initiation doesn't include any verbal or physical abuse. Ang gagawin lang nila is to get a green booklet, which will serve as their journal, and get some tasks from what they called “masters”. (Masters are the people na tapos na sa training, and masters can call the other masters “bayaw”. Each masters have a specific partner, whom they call “Neo”.)
The tasks shall only consist of academic-related tasks. After completing the task, they can go to the person na nagbigay sa kanila to get it signed, that can serve as a proof na tapos mo na ang pinapagawa nila.
And to be able to graduate from the training, they shall need 80% signed tasks from the masters. That’s a total of 120 masters from 150 of the population. Napakarami. Talagang dumagdag pa ito sa pinagkakaabalahan nila imbes na sa mga topics from different subject lang sila nagfo-focus.
But this ain’t bad, to be honest, mas lalawak kasi ang connection nila sa department. Whenever they need help, the other members of the org will automatically take action. And maybe, ito na ‘yung magiging paraan para ma-dump niya nang tuluyan si Miggy dahil may sarili nang connection si Jhoanna if ever.
But the other side of it? --
“Here, good job naman at kaunti nalang ang kailangan mong gawin para matapos ka.” Said Mary Loi Yves Ricalde, Janna’s master as she handed the booklet back to Janna, “Keep in mind na you only need to accept the tasks na confident kang kaya mong gawin before the deadline, okay? Hindi lang ikaw ang magkakaproblema once na hindi mo magawa ang mga tasks on time.” she then reminded while keeping a straight face to Janna.
The two of them just listens and Janna hummed in response. Hindi rin naman pwedeng sumagot din si Jhoanna rito kasi hindi naman niya master ang kausap niya.
“That has been noted in my mind. Thank you, master.” Sagot naman ni Janna.
Jhoanna wanted to roll her eyes from that moment because Janna looked so obedient once she was talking to her master.
Maloi, what she wants to call her—face’s automatically lit up as if she wasn’t just serious a second ago. Inayos niya ang suot niyang red bayoneta glasses bago tapikin nang marahan si Janna sa balikat nito.
“Ayan, ganyan dapat palagi, Janna Lim. Anyway, kumain na ba kayo? Gusto niyong sumabay sa amin?” Tanong pa nito.
Jhoanna instantly grabbed Janna’s arm, subtly squeezing it to signal her to shut up and decline before she could even respond. She knows damn well that Janna will likely to say yes since Maloi is her crush.
But she needed to compromise muna because she is with someone as of the moment.
Buti sana kung mag isa lang si Maloi ngayon!
“Ah! Sorry po, master pero katatapos lang naming kumain. Hindi ba, Janna?” she responded as she squeezed Janna’s arm a little tighter, hinting for her to decline too.
Janna pursued her lips together, not because she doesn’t want to decline but Jhoanna’s grasp was getting tighter little by little making it feeling a bit painful. At dahil lintik lang ang walang ganti, pinatong niya rin ang kamay niya sa kamay ni Jhoanna na nakahawak sa kaniya. She smiled as she lightly dug her nails on Jhoanna’s hand, making the latter bit her lips in pain.
“Yeah. We’re sorry, master Maloi and master Aiah. Kakameryenda lang namin before we got here, so we kinda feel a bit full.”
Janna felt Jhoanna withdrawn from her grasp kaya bumitaw narin siya sa paghawak kay Jhoanna.
“Aw, sayang naman. Feel pa naman ngayon ng kasama ko na manlibre.”
Agad namang bumaling ang tingin nila sa katabi ni Maloi. Jhoanna almost lost it when she realized that the woman was already looking at her before she did. She didn’t know why she unconsciously swallowed hard upon seeing her face either.
Is it because her gaze is lingering a little too long again? Or is it the fact that she looked at her with nothingness in her eyes but somehow it felt like she’s holding Jhoanna in captive?
Now this… this is the other side of this shitty training that Jhoanna was referring to.
Because in some way or another, fate kept getting them glued together in times when Jhoanna needed companions to work on to.
First, in their apartment. Jhoanna doesn’t even have an ounce of idea that Aiah was her roommate. Their first meeting wasn’t even that good, though it was memorable in Jhoanna’s part.
And now here, sa training na ‘to. Unfortunately, Aiah was her assigned master. Siya ang mag ga-guide sa kaniya. Siya ang magchecheck sa lahat ng nagawa niya, at siya… siya ang palagi niyang makakasama sa ayaw at sa gusto niya.
“What about you? Kumusta naman ang mga taskings mo? Are you halfway through it?” Aiah voiced out, referring to her neo, Jhoanna.
Tumango si Jhoanna at saka binaba ang tingin sa bag para ilabas ang booklet niya.
“You can check it here, master.” Sagot ni Jhoanna, adding some emphasis on the honorifics.
Aiah sighed and nodded, “Can I just talk with my Neo for a minute, Mal? May ipapaalala lang din ako sa kaniya.”
Jhoanna averted her gaze to the side to roll her eyes for a moment before she looked at Aiah again.
Ngumiti lang din si Maloi at tumango, “Sure, sure. Mag serious talk din kami netong Neo ko.” Sagot niya’t hinila ng marahan si Janna palayo.
“Good luck!” Janna mouthed before turning her back to Jhoanna, knowing damn well na hindi lang siya nito pagsasabihan ni Aiah.
Jhoanna waited as Aiah flipped the notes. Wala pa naman itong sinasabi ni isang salita. She just kept on flipping and flipping, and Jhoanna’s patience was getting thinner with each page flip.
Nang hindi na niya makayanan ay nagsalita na siya which was quickly interrupted by Aiah.
“Do you want to say something at le—”
“Did you eat?” Aiah softly replies.
“I’m sorry, what?”
“‘Yung niluto ko kanina, did you eat it?” she asked again, turning her gaze to Jhoanna for a second before getting back on the booklet.”
Jhoanna cleared her throat for a moment, suddenly feeling a bit nervous for an unknown reason.
“No,” she simply replied, though her brows were creasing.
She heard the older woman click her tongue, maybe in disappointment or for something more profound. Her eyes never leave the booklet, but her face tells that she doesn’t like what she has heard. Jhoanna, again, made her eyes roll 180 degrees.
Ano naman kasi kung hindi siya kumain ng luto niya? Kailangan ba every time nalang siyang kakain kapag may sineserve sa kaniya si Aiah?
Masarap ‘yung luto niya, oo, pero hindi siya magpapasuhol sa ganoon.
“Habang tumatagal, tumitigas talaga ang ulo mo. Madalang ka na lang nakikinig sa akin.”
Bakit naman kasi ako makikinig sa’yo? Are you my mom?
“I’m sorry, miss Arceta—pero hindi ako considered na neo mo outside the school. I can do whatever I want to do during those times. So kapag pinili kong hindi kumain sa luto mo, wala ka na dapat pakialam doon.”
“With all due respect din, miss Robles—pero binilin ka rin sa’kin ng mama mo. I’m just doing this on her favor kasi kahit hindi kami close, pinili kong sundin ‘yung bilin niya. And one of those bilin was to kept your stomach not empty especially during morning dahil baka ma-trigger ang ulcer mo.”
“Well, you could’ve just said sa kaniya na ayaw mo ng responsibilidad at sabihin nalang ‘yun sa’kin dahil I’m capable of doing those on my own. I’m old enough to cook my meal and eat on time. Hindi ko kailangan ng reminder mo para kumain ako.”
“And yet nakakalimutan mo paring gawin.” Aiah said as she closed the booklet, giving her more time to look at Jhoanna as she spoke.
"Kumakain naman ako rito sa school when I have the time. So, technically, hindi ko siya nakakalimutan."
"You're saying na ayaw mo lang talaga kumain ng luto ko ngayon kahit na nakakadalawang cup ng rice ka nga minsan?"
"Why do you even need to say that? Are you trying to prove something here?"
Oh my God! Baka may makarinig pa't sabihin na matakaw akong tao.
"No, but. Look, I just..." She sighed, then looked at her with a tired eye. “Look, I’m not saying these to start an argument with you. You always take my words negatively kaya humahantong tayo sa ganito.” She added, then handed Jhoanna her booklet.
"Do me and yourself a favor and start eating on time as per your mother’s request na rin. Also, let’s settle other things in the apartment later. You clearly have a beef going on with me again. I don’t like it if you’re ignoring me for something that I did accidentally.”
Ngumiti siya, and Jhoanna hates to admit but she likes seeing that smile. Maamo naman ang facial features niya naturally, pero mas lalo lamang kasi itong umaamo kapag nakangiti siya.
She despised it… everything about her.
She despised how gorgeous she was with that simple green org shirt she was wearing, along with that slightly wavy down hair.
She despised how her knees felt weak whenever she smiled and the dimples in her left cheek were showing.
She despised her for being so pretty that she can't composed her words sometimes. Na kapag nakikita niya ito ay parang hindi na nagiging coherent ang mga sinasabi niya.
Kainis naman! Ba't kasi ang ganda-ganda mo? Parang nawawala lahat ang iniipon kong angas ko kapag nakikita kita eh.
Tahimik niyang kinuha ang booklet at saka tumikhim. Hindi na niya kailangang sumagot sa sinabi Aiah dahil alam naman niyang siya parin ang masusunod once na nakauwi na sila sa apartment. Gagawa at gagawa si Aiah ng paraan para matuloy ang pag-uusap nila.
Jhoanna knew that was going to happen. Kaya useless lang kung aangal lang siya ngayon.
"Oh, bakit na naman hindi maipinta ang mga mukha niyo riyan? Nag away na naman ba kayo?" Tarantang saad ni Maloi nang mapansing wala nang umiimik sa dalawa.
"Ikaw, Jhoanna! Nako ilang beses na kitang sinabihan na maging mabait ka riyan kay Aiah kasi siya ang master mo."
Jhoanna scoffed and pointed to herself, “Me? I wasn’t eve—"
"She's not doing anything wrong, Mal. Hayaan mo siya. It was partly my fault.”
Jhoanna slightly flinched from Aiah’s statement.
Wow, bago ah? Ngayon lang nang ako ng kasalanan at hindi ako sinisi.
Their gazes meet again. Only this time, Aiah's eyes weren't as intense as a while ago.
"I've marked a page there, though I didn't write my name just yet. Keep that page 27 unclaimed from other masters because I'll only give you your task a week before your graduation will commence."
Ah, she had marked a page. Pero bakit parang may naramdaman si Jhoanna somewhere sa kaniyang tiyan after hearing that, although she wasn't the one who's been marked?
"O-Okay, master." She could only answer before they left, leaving Jhoanna dumbfounded and flustered as she watched their backs them.
-----------
Aiah's side lips unconsciously rose, making it look like a smirk was forming in her face after that interaction.
Adorable, she could only say.
Her roommate, Jhoanna, was adorable in some way she couldn't explain.
"Palihim na ngiti ang boss ko ah. Parang may nararamdaman akong kaba." Maloi suddenly speaks, making Aiah shrug over her thoughts and clears her throat to force herself to look serious.
"Anong kaba?" She asked.
"Kabadingan." Agad na sagot ni Maloi na siyang dahilan kung ba't tumaas ang kilay ni Aiah.
"Pinagsasabi mo riyan? Imbento ka na naman."
"Ganyan din ang linyahan mo noong sinabi ko 'yan, my friend. Somehow, memorize ko na kung kailan ka kinikilig at kung kailan ka nagkakagusto."
Aiah rolled her eyes. She was confident that this time, Maloi was wrong.
Wala siyang gusto, at hindi siya kinikilig. Not to anyone, and definitely not from her roommate.
"Shut up." Was all that she managed to say imbes na itanggi dahil alam niyang hindi rin titigil si Maloi.
----------
"Starstruck again? Tulala ka na naman diyan." Janna nudged her friend, who was blankly staring at the wall after their interaction with their masters.
Jhoanna groaned in frustration that she almost messed up her hair. This was one of the times.
One of the times when Aiah leaves her in a dumbfounded state.
"Gets kita. Ganda kasi eh 'no?"
Jhoanna sighed before she turned to look at Janna.
"Nakakainis 'yung ganda niya. Super." She mumbled.
Lahat ng frustrations niya tungkol kay Aiah kanina ay nahaluan ng-- ayaw niya man sanang sabihin -- ay nahaluan ng konting kakiligan.
God! Bakit naman kasi ang ganda ng pagkakakagawa niyo sa kaniya?
"Siguro next time need ko ng magsuot ng shades kapag titignan ko siya." Jhoanna mutters while they walk.
Janna's brow creased in confusion.
"Para saan naman 'yung shades?"
"Para kapag titignan ko siya eh magiging kulay black lang siya."
"Ha?" Janna voiced out, still confused. "Hindi kita ma gets. I mean, does wearing shades change the way you see ate Aiah?"
"Oo!" Jhoanna exclaimed, "Magiging black nga lang siya sa paningin ko. Ibig sabihin hindi ko siya makikita with namumulaklak na kulay, hindi siya magiging radiant-- alam mo 'yun? Basta ewan ko na. Ganun 'yun para sa akin."
Janna looked at her with an unbelievable look. Hindi na talaga niya ma-gets ang kaibigan niya't kung anuano nalang ang nasasabi kapag nakikita niya si Aiah.
She clicked her tongue, "You're not making any sense again." Then she sighed. Nang nakita niya ang isang food stall sa gilid ay agad niya ulit tinawag si Jhoanna para bumili.
-----------
Jhoanna stared at the crumpled note; its edges softened with the morning's dampness. Hindi niya pa pala ito nababasura. Aiah's cooking, sat steaming before her on the kitchen table. Malamig na ito kanina kaya naisipan niyang ipainit dahil nakita niyang isa ito sa mga favorite dish niya.
Adobong manok, na may maraming patatas. Comfort food niya.
"The nerve of that woman," she muttered, her voice low.
Typical Aiah. Kahit anong bangayan nila't tampuhan sa isa't-isa, pinagluluto parin niya si Jhoanna na para bang kasali na ito sa daily routine niya.
The aroma of the dish felt comforting, though almost felt mocking at the same time. May konting sama ng loob parin siya kay Aiah dahil sa nangyari kagabi. Kahit pa alam niyang hindi niya iyon sinasadya'y nangingibabaw parin ang pagtatampo niya.
But despite her lingering anger, the hunger gnawing at her stomach won out. Nakakapagtaka lang kasi hindi naman siya gutom kanina. Naparami rin ang kain niya sa school dahil sa kakayaya ni Janna pero heto na naman siya ngayon, kumakalam ang sikmura nang maamoy ang niluto ni Aiah para sa kaniya.
Hesitantly, she picked up a spoon, the metal cool against her fingertips. The first bite was surprisingly delicious – Aiah's skill in the kitchen was undeniable.
"Alam talaga kung paano ako kunin." She mutters again before folding her sleeves upward and tied her hair up para hindi maging istorbo sa pagkain niya.
With each spoonful, the resentment began to fade, replaced by a grudging appreciation for the effort—for the simple act of cooking her a meal.
Jhoanna was halfway through the finishing, a small, contented smile playing on her lips, when a familiar creak echoed from the hallway. Her spoon remained in mid-air. The smile vanished, replaced by a look of startled surprise.
Aiah’s home.
The scent of her perfume mingled with the rich aroma of the meal. Jhoanna's heart pounded a rapid rhythm against her ribs. She quickly wiped her mouth with a napkin, her cheeks flushing.
Aiah entered, her eyes widening slightly at the sight of Jhoanna seemingly eating her cooked meal. "You're already here?” she said, a bit surprised. Dumako ang tingin nito sa kinakain niya. “Nagutom ka ata?" she asked, her voice hesitant.
Jhoanna swallowed the food, together with the lump forming in her throat. "Yeah," she replied, her voice barely a whisper. "Nasasayangan kasi ako rito kaya kinain ko nalang bago pa mapanis."
Aiah's expression softened, yet there was a grin forming at the side of her lips.
"Hmm, whatever you say." She walked over and gently picked something from the refrigerator. "I wasn't sure if you'd even look at it. Sabi mo kasi kanina na ayaw mo muna ng luto ko ngayon." She added it and then placed the probiotic drink on the table.
"I'm sorry," Aiah said, her voice laced with vulnerability.
Jhoanna's gaze dropped to the table. "For what, exactly?"
"For last night," Aiah started, leaning back on her chair. "Nasakto lang kasi na nagtanong sa akin ang mama mo tungkol sa'yo kaya sinagot ko lang ang mga gusto niyang malaman. I didn't know that you're not allowed to drink pala lalong lalo na sa mga bars although I always saw you going through those through your stories."
She sighed, while Jhoanna subtly bit her lips. Oo nga pala, hindi niya 'yun alam.
"That's why I was pissed last night and tumaas ang boses ko sa'yo. Kasi all this time, I thought na pinapayagan ka talaga ng parents mo na lumabas labas gabi-gabi kaya hindi lang din kita pinapakialaman."
"That's why it leads to the point na rin na nasabi ko 'yung plans for our org president's birthday party sa sobrang inis ko. Hindi ka rin tuloy napayagan dahil dun—and I'm sorry for that, really. I know for a fact that you were excited na pumunta since it's your first time attending a friend's party here."
She paused, her eyes searching for Jhoanna's face. "I'm sorry for being insensitive, pakielamera, and unreasonable. I was stressed out about school, and I took it out on you. I know I shouldn't have done that. Kaya I'm really sorry for snapping at you for something so small." Saad niya sabay bukas sa probiotic drink at saka inabot kay Jhaoanna.
The latter slowly accepted the drink, her eyes never meeting Aiah. "I'm sorry din," she mumbled, her voice barely audible.
"I kept it a secret from you kasi baka hindi mo rin ako payagan since I knew that you had a connection with my mom. Gusto ko lang din gawin 'yung mga bagay na hindi ko nagagawa noong nasa bahay pa ako."
She poked the inside of her cheeks. "I simply just want to have fun too, you know."
Aiah sighed then smiled in understanding. "I know, I understand. Huwag mo rin sanang isipin na I'm cutting off your freedom by telling your mom about your whereabouts. I promise that it won't happen again, only if you tell me kung saan ka pupunta, lalo na kapag gabi."
Aiah tapped the table, urging Jhoanna to look at her. "How about that? Hmm? Para lang hindi ako mag-alala kung sakali."
Jhoanna also hummed in response and quietly took a sip from her drink while still avoiding Aiah’s gaze.
"Are we okay now?" Tanong pa ulit ni Aiah.
Jhoanna arched her brow.
"Isn't that obvious? Ano pa nga ba? Eh malapit ko nang matapos yung pagkain ko tapos iniinom ko na rin 'yung yakult na bigay mo." Jhoanna answered then she rolled her eyes.
Aiah chuckled, the sound light and carefree like they hadn't had an argument. Tinuloy na rin ni Jhoanna kumain para ubusin 'yung tira niya.
The mood just gets brighter now, and Jhoanna likes it very much.
"Siya nga pala," Aiah started, hinintay niya munang matapos si Jhoanna na inumin 'yung yakult bago siya ulit magsalita.
"Connie will drive us later sa venue ng party ni Pres." She added, which made Jhoanna’s brow crease in confusion.
Aiah was just smiling at her, like she's hinting something in her words. Doon naman napagtanto ni Jhoanna kung ano ang tinutukoy niya.
Her face lights up, along with her twinkling eyes. Her excitement rising up. "W-Wait... Don't tell me..." She stuttered.
Aiah grinned and nodded. "Yup! You're still going."
"I mean... How? Paano mo napapayag ulit si mommy?" Hindi makapaniwala niyang tanong.
She knows her mom—although how she interacts was warm, kapag settled na ‘yung decision niya—hindi na ‘yun magbabago. That’s why bilib na bilib siya ngayon kay Aiah dahil kahit siya mismo ang naghulog sa kaniya eh nakaya niya paring pabaguhin ang isip ng mommy niya.
Aiah shrugged before she stands up, “Let’s just say na malakas na ako sa mommy mo.” Huling saad niya bago nito iwanan si Jhoanna sa kusina.
Well…
Like mother, like daughter, perhaps?
--------
True to her words, pinayagan nan ga talaga si Jhoanna na makipag hang out sa birthday party ng org president nila kahit gaganapin ito sa isang bar. Her mother called that night, saying that she only let her join that party as long as Aiah came with her. Saad pa niya, pumayag din lamang siya dahil sa nasabing kondisyon ni Aiah. In which, of course, ayaw ding sabihin ng mama niya sa kaniya. Dahil as per to her mother, usapang lang daw nilang dalawa ni Aiah iyon.
Now, they were both waiting for their sundo to come. They were outside, and a cold brush of the wind suddenly made Jhoanna shiver for a bit. She was wearing a beige cropped tank top and a high waist jean kaya medyo nalamigan siya nung biglang sumipol ang hangin. It shows too much skin for her liking, but it’s appropriate naman since bar ang pupuntahan nila.
She wondered if Aiah felt the cold, too.
Hindi niya ulit sinasadyang mapatingin sa kaniya but… damn, her reaction remains the same whenever she took a glance at her.
Sana sunugin na lahat ng sleeveless collared crop top na ‘yan at pati ‘yung mini skirt na pares niya. Masama kasi siya sa tulad kong bading.
She swallowed the lump that was forming in her throat. Her hand suddenly felt sweaty, and she could feel her cheeks slightly burning. Mabuti nalang at gabi kaya hindi makikita ni Aiah kung gaano na ka-pula ang blush on na nilagay niya ngayon.
Napatikhim siya’t inayos ang kaniyang salamin. She was a bit disappointed that Aiah insisted that she should wear her glasses kahit anong pilit niyang mag contact lenses muna tonight. Parang feeling niya tuloy nakakasira ito sa outfit niya.
“Why are your brows creasing again?” Aiah suddenly asked, which made Jhoanna turn to look at her. Hindi na siya accidentally this time.
“Feeling ko kasi hindi bumabagay ‘yung eyeglasses ko rito sa suot ko.” She whined, her lips slightly forming into a pout.
Aiah turned to examined her for a bit, her brows creasing. Halos hindi makahinga si Jhoanna dahil tumagal talaga ang tingin nito sa mukha niya. She looks like she isn’t just examining if the eyeglasses were fit to Jhoanna’s fashion. At this point, parang kinakabisado niya na lahat ng facial features ni Jhoanna.
“Okay naman siya ah. It still compliments your look.” Tipid na sagot ni Aiah.
“I look like a nerd entering a bar with these glasses on.”
“Mas convenient na ‘yan na ang gamitin mo para hindi ka na mahirapang tanggalin mamaya in case na lasing ka na.”
“Tsk. Why do I even have to follow you anyway?” Jhoanna mumbled when a realization struck her and feeling a bit annoyed to the fact that she’s always, somehow, go along with Aiah’s amend kahit na alam niyang mapapa-question talaga siya later like now.
Aiah, on the other hand, kept on staring at Jhoanna’s face. Hindi na naman ulit mabasa ni Jhoanna kung anong iniisip nito habang nakatingin siya sa kaniya.
Was she disgusted? Annoyed? Or perhaps… is she find her attractive, at least?
That blank staring doesn’t do me any good, Arceta.
Hindi na kinaya ni Jhoanna, kaya siya na mismo ang bumitaw sa titig ni Aiah sa kaniya. Tinuon na lamang niya ang tingin sa kalsada. The view from the other side suddenly took her interest.
“You still look fine to me though,” Aiah mumbled casually before breaking the contact too.
Jhoanna shut her eyes.
She silently cursed and bit the inside of her cheeks to stop herself from smiling.
I just know that you’re too dangerous for me, Aiah Arceta.
-------------
The air hung thick with the scent of cheap beer and anticipation as Jhoanna and her couple of friends settled into the plush couches arranged around a low table in the VIP section of Future 3500. Unlike the throng pressing against the bar, they were comfortably ensconced in a pocket of relative calm. Thanks to their org president, who's a dear friend of the bar owner, they were given the privilege to sit comfortably in this space to celebrate her party.
Sa rotunda muna sila naunang nagcelebrate bago sila napunta rito. Doon sila kumain, nagkwentuhan ng konti at uminom na rin para hindi na masyadong mapagastos nang mahal dito sa bar for drinks. Because apparently, doble ang price ng drinks nila rito compare sa napuntahan nila kanina.
Jhoanna leaned back against the soft cushions, a glass of tequila in hand, when suddenly, her gaze accidentally landed on the person across from her.
Aiah, with her classmate, Pablo, was seemingly in a nice discussion judging by how close their faces are.
Eyes never leaving at them, Jhoanna took a sip from her drink. Pero tinungga na niya ito nang tuluyan nang makita niyang nilapit pa lalo ni Pablo ang mukha niya sa mukha ni Aiah. He looks like he's whispering something to her. Pero required ba na ganoon talaga kalapit kapag bubulong? Konting pagkakamali lang parang maghahalikan na sila eh.
She scoffed, noticing her grip tightening around the glass, so she put it down gently.
Ayaw naman niyang magkaeksena siya tonight kaya kailangan niyang mag ingat sa mga gamit.
Maybe Aiah sensed the intense stare from someone; that's why she unconsciously darted her eyes on Jhoanna, who was—in fact looking at her with such an unreadable expression.
Napaayos ng upo si Aiah, making her slightly distanced herself from Pablo. There, from the buzzing neon lights, Jhoanna saw Aiah's creasing brow yet concerned look as she looked at her. When Aiah saw that Jhoanna wasn't doing anything, she took out her phone and sent her a message. Jhoanna noticed it, kaya kinuha niya rin ang phone niya para i-open ito't saktong bumungad sa kaniya ang mesage ni Aiah.
Aiah Arceta:
[Are you drunk?] Sent 10:25 pm
[Don't drink too much if you can't handle it, please.] Sent 10:25 pm
Jhoanna rolled her eyes, not bothering if Aiah saw it or not.
Ayan na naman kasi siya sa please niya.
Jhoanna Robles:
[Not yet.] Sent 10:26 pm
She hit send, then proceeded to put another drink in her glass.
She isn't drunk yet. Alam niya kung paano siya malasing.
Binalik ulit niya ang kaniyang tingin kay Aiah after getting her drink. But she almost regretted it.
Aiah laughed, her head tilted back, her face close to Pablo’s. The way the neon light caught her hair, the way her eyes crinkled at the corners… Jhoanna shifted uncomfortably, the ice in her drink melting too slowly. It almost felt like each sip was a tiny, inadequate rebellion against the tightening knot in her stomach.
Her gaze kept drifting back to Aiah, observing the scene she couldn't quite decipher like some detective.
Another shot of tequila. The burn was welcome but merely a distraction from the simmering sensation she was feeling inside. Each shot pushed her closer to the edge of something she couldn’t quite name.
Another drink… And another. With each swallow, the room seemed to sharpen into focus. The music became clearer, the conversations less muffled.
And Aiah…
God, Aiah.
Aiah seemed to grow more beautiful with every passing moment.
Tangina, she cursed out under her breath. Maganda na siya dati eh, pero iba na talaga 'yung ganda niya ngayon.
Their eyes met again. This time, the playful smile on Aiah’s face was gone, replaced by something more complex—more intense. Jhoanna felt a chill despite the warmth of the alcohol. The space between them, though a slight distance, felt charged and electric all of a sudden.
Jhoanna likes to believe that it's just the buzz from the liquor.
The sound and vibration from her phone made her break her gaze from Aiah. But she arched her brow after seeing that it was Aiah's message that caused it.
Aiah Arceta:
[Why are you looking at me like that?] Sent: 10:45 pm
Jhoanna subtly bit her lip before typing her response.
Jhoanna Robles:
[Pake mo ba?] Sent: 10:46 pm
She then paused for a second before sending another reply.
Jhoanna Robles:
[Ang ganda mo kasi eh.] Sent: 10:47 pm
Aiah's reaction was almost instantaneous. A slight blush—barely noticeable in the dim light- crept up her cheeks. She glanced down at her phone, a subtle smile playing on her lips, before looking back at Pablo. But the smile didn't quite reach her eyes. There was a flicker of something else there. Surprise, perhaps? Or maybe… maybe a hint of something more.
It was a fleeting expression, quickly masked, but Jhoanna caught it.
"Okay, guys—let’s spice things up!" Their president announced, "Laro tayo! Typical na laro lang sa mga ganitong session. Spin the bottle!" Pagpapatuloy niya sabay lapag ng plastic bottle sa mesa. The others quickly gathered together, compressing themselves to fit into the shared space.
"Kung kanino natapat 'yung bunganga ng bottle, siya ang gagawa sa dare na gusto ng taong nakatapatan ng base ng bottle na 'to." He explained, earning some groanes from the others.
"May choice naman kayong hindi gawin 'yung gusto nila. But...! You have to drink 3 glasses of this tequila kung ayaw mong gawin 'yung dare. 'Yun... 'yun ang consequence. Plus!—in any circumstances na hindi mo nagawa ‘yung dare, required ka paring uminom."
That earned another unsolicited groan from the crowd. The consequence was a bit brutal since tequila is a hard drink. But at the same time, it was actually exciting.
"Oh siya, tama na reklamo. Sumali lang 'yung gustong sumali. Pero mas maganda kung sali kayong lahat. Mag e-enjoy kayo rito, promise!"
The game started; a ripple of excited murmurs went through the circle.
Jhoanna, initially hesitant, found herself swept up in the giddy abandon of it all. Each dare, initially met with a blush and a nervous giggle, became progressively more daring, fueled by the potent mix of alcohol and burgeoning attraction. She found herself surprisingly enjoying the playful challenges, the thrill of pushing her boundaries, the way her heart pounded with each spin of the bottle.
And what made her heart thump in excitement?
It was the fact that the bottle hadn’t stopped at their direction yet. Her… And Aiah.
“Eyyyy” says the crowd when the bottle’s lid landed on Pablo and Connie.
A roar of both laughter and encouragement erupted from the circle as Pablo began to brace himself to Connie’s dare.
“Sa circle na ‘to, kiss mo nga sa cheeks ‘yung taong natitipuhan mo.”
Jhoanna subtly clenched her jaw, suddenly having the urge to pinch Connie’s cheek hard because of that dare. But at the same time, she was furious mostly to herself.
Kasi bakit?
Bakit siya naaasar sa dare na ‘yun?
Siguro kasi alam niya kung sino ang tipo ni Pablo sa circle nila ngayon.
Halata naman kasi kung sino.
Pero ano naman kasi kung alam niya?
Pablo, caught off guard, stammered—his face turning a shade of crimson that rivaled the flashing neon lights. He glanced at Aiah, who was looking down, a barely perceptible smile playing on her lips.
With a nervous chuckle, he asked Aiah, “Pwede lang ba, Aiah?” He stammered, his voice barely whispering above the music. “And, will anyone get mad if I do?”
Oo meron… ako.
Aiah, looking down at her drink, replied in a low voice. “No one will get mad.” She started, rinig naman ang pagreact ng iba sa kanila. Halatang kinilig at na excite sa susunod na mangyayari.
Si Jhoanna naman… Ayun, napatungga ulit ng isang baso ng tequilla.
“But… I don’t really like being kissed by people. So… Sorry.” She added, her tone was gentle yet firm.
Pablo’s face fell; a visible blush deepened on his already red cheeks. He mumbled a quick apology, his eyes downcast, clearly embarrassed by the rejection. He mumbled again, something unintelligible, more to himself than anyone else.
“Oh, iinom mo nalang ‘yan, Pablo.” Hiyaw ng president sa kaniya.
“Ha? Bakit ko kailangang uminom eh hindi naman siya pumayag?”
“Exactly! Hindi mo napagtagumpayan ‘yung dare kaya obligated ka paring uminom.”
That earned a laugh from almost everybody in their group. Jhoanna just chuckled, though, deep in her thoughts, tuwang tuwa siya nang hindi natuloy ang dare ni Connie sa kaniya. She felt a surprising surge of relief. She hadn’t articulated it, but a part of her had been subtly protective of Aiah, a possessive instinct she hadn’t fully understood until that moment.
Naiinis ulit siya sa sarili niya dahil doon pero hindi niya rin mapigilan.
Inis na ininom ni Pablo ang ilang baso ng tequila na nasa harapan niya. Aiah chuckled, her face showing no remorse for what she had caused Pablo.
Bumaling ulit ang tingin niya kay Jhoanna, na ngayon ay nakatingin na rin sa kaniya. Her brow creased, noticing her eyes were now looking glassy and her eyelids ate getting droopy.
But… beyond the alcohol-induced haze, there was something else in Jhoanna’s stare—something deeper, something that resonated with Aiah on a primal level.
Jhoanna’s own gaze was unwavering and almost a mixture of longing and apprehension. Aiah noticed the slight dilation of her pupils, the way her eyes shone with an unusual luminosity was clear signs of intoxication.
It was like… a look that spoke of unspoken desires, of a secret yearning for something more.
The game of spin the bottle resumed, each rotation of the plastic bottle a miniature crescendo of anticipation. Jhoanna felt a strange mixture of excitement and apprehension with each spin; a thrill coursed through her veins with every near miss, every close call that kept the focus on her and Aiah.
This time, the anticipation was almost unbearable. The bottle spun, a dizzying blur of color against the backdrop of flashing lights and swirling bodies. It slowed, its trajectory uncertain, then finally, definitively, it landed on Aiah.
Jhoanna’s breath hitched slightly as her eyes met Aiah’s. The air suddenly crackled with energy, a silent conversation passing between them that transcended the noise and chaos of the party.
Aiah’s gaze lingered on Jhoanna. Subtly swallowing the lump that was forming in her throat, she leaned in and asked, “What do you want me to do?”
A wave of exhilaration washed over Jhoanna, a potent cocktail of excitement and nerves.
This was it, she said in her mind.
Jhoanna leaned forward, her heart pounding a frantic rhythm against her ribs, her breath catching in her throat. The anticipation was almost too much to bear.
But before Jhoanna could even process the rush of emotions, a loud voice cut through the air, shattering the fragile spell.
“Wait! Wait! Taympers muna, taympers!” Boomed by the birthday celebrant, “My favorite part of the night is about to start! Kaya sorry… Jhoanna and Aiah—kung hindi muna natin itutuloy ‘to ngayon. Baba nalang tayong lahat sa dance floor para sa segment. Halina kayo!” Taranta pa niyang saad bago nangunang tumayo at bumaba sa may stage.
There it was. The moment was lost. The exhilaration that had surged through Jhoanna just moments before evaporated, replaced by a sharp pang of disappointment. The game was abruptly halted, the playful energy dissolving into a wave of chatter and movement as people scrambled to their feet, their attention diverted to the dance floor.
“What a buzzkill, huh?” Aiah suddenly uttered after the others had completely gone from their seats, leaving only the two of them.
“Gusto mo bang ngayon mo ipagawa ‘yung supposedly dare mo sana kanina?” Aiah asked again, a hint of a smile playing on her lips.
“Where’s the fun in that now? Wala nang makakakita.”
“Why? Anong klaseng dare ba ang ipapagawa mo kung sakali?”
Jhoanna grinned, then added a self-deprecating chuckle.
“Huwag mo nalang alamin. I’m sure that you’ll never do it anyway.”
“How would you know unless you try?” Aiah added, her voice almost challenging.
Jhoanna locked gazes with her. Somehow, there was a subtle shift in the dynamics of their playful banter. It dissolved and changed into a charged silence. The casual teasing had given way to something more pointed and suggestive.
Before Jhoanna could even come up with a rebuttal, she saw Aiah extend her hand, inviting her to go down— to join the others on the dance floor.
“Sabi nila maganda raw ‘yung isang segment nila rito. Why don’t we go there to join? Try lang natin.”
Jhoanna’s gaze went down to Aiah’s hand. It looks so soft—she’s too tempted to hold it—to intertwine her fingers with it.
A buzz from the liquor. Really now, Jhoanna?
But without a word, Jhoanna made her way down to the stairs, joining everyone on the dance floor. Paika ika na siyang maglakad kanina kaya kinailangan niyang humawak sa railways para hindi siya matumba.
Aiah was nowhere in sight when she reached the ground floor.
Mabuti naman.
Mabuti na rin at wala siya na nakikita niya ngayon.
Mabuti, dahil kahit papano ay makakapagpahinga ang puso niya dahil sobrang lakas lang ng tibok nito kapag malapit siya.
A man suddenly pops out of nowhere in Jhoanna’s space, joining her as she dances. Kung nasa matinong pag iisip lang ngayon si Jhoanna, siguro sana’y tinaboy na niya papalayo ang lalaking ito. But since the alcohol was kicking her system, she let that man sways his body behind hers. She doesn’t enjoy the company, but she was glad she wasn’t alone.
“1 minute, walang maslisya!” sigaw ng DJ and somehow the crowd erupted from cheers.
Naguluhan naman si Jhoanna sa nangyayari, medyo nagkakagulo na rin ang mga tao sa paligid niya, pero ‘yung lalaki nandoon parin sa tabi niya.
“Anong nangyayari?” sigaw niya, her head’s suddenly spinning.
The man grinned and leaned in to whisper, “Relax ka nalang, wala namang mangyayaring masama.”
But Jhoanna felt an ick, especially when the man started to wrap his arms around her waist.
Agad niya itong tinanggal, but this guy somehow can’t put his hand down on its place.
“Do you mind to keep your hands all to yourself?” inis na saad ni Jhoanna. Her teeth were gritted with annoyance.
“Why? The fun doesn’t even start yet. Ayaw mo ba?” He replied in his deep voice, in which Jhoanna didn’t find it attractive at all.
“Can’t you take the hint? I’m already pushing your hands off pero binabalik mo parin.”
After that, the DJ started to count along with the partygoers. While Jhoanna and the guy were still on a push-and-pull scenario.
Naiinis na siya kaya sinusubukan niyang lumayo. But to her luck, hindi na siya makawala dahil nagkakagulo na ang mga tao. Umabot pa sa point na nahulog ang suot niyang salamin.
“Fuck!” she cursed out, alam niyang hindi na niya ulit ‘yun makukuha dahil natapakan na iyon ng mga tao.
Wala na siyang nararamdamang kalasingan, but she felt dizzy with the intense color of lights. The loudness of the room is making her head throb, and her vision is getting blurry.
“8” they all shouted, the excitement still palpable.
Gusto na talagang lumabas ni Jhoanna sa bar na ito. Gusto na niyang umuwi.
Gusto na niyang yayain si Aiah na umuwi.
“10!” The crowd boomed before the light turned off.
Naguluhan si Jhoanna sa nangyari. But at the same time, she was thankful because the guy that has been bothering her was nowhere in sight.
But the mood suddenly felt… off.
Maingay ang paligid, pero ni isang ingay mula sa mga tao ay wala siyang marinig. Naguguluhan na talaga siya, dumagdag pa ang sakit sa ulo niya’t hilo.
Jhoanna’s hand instinctively reached out, her fingers brushing against something soft and warm. Panic flared for a fleeting moment—the sudden darkness is both disorienting and unsettling.
Then, strong arms encircled her waist, pulling her close and making her gasp. The subtle mix of vanilla and spice filled her senses, grounding her and calming her racing heart. The shock gave way to a rush of exhilaration and a dizzying mix of fear and excitement. She recognized the scent instantly. It’s her comforting anchor in the sudden disorientation.
It was Aiah.
In the darkness, other hands reached out, bumping against Jhoanna's, but she remained focused on the warmth of Aiah's embrace.
“It’s me,” Aiah whispered, her voice close to Jhoanna's ear. “Don’t move for a moment. 1-minute lang ‘yung segment. Let’s wait until they turn the lights on again.”
Jhoanna shivered from their proximity. The way Aiah’s breath brushed against her ears awakened something deep within her.
“I’m sorry if I’m too close,” Aiah whispered again.
A specific memory flashed within Jhoanna’s mind.
‘Yung pinipilit niyang kalimutan, bumabalik na naman.
She scoffed, “Funny how you say sorry for the small things, yet I didn’t hear you say that word from the time you took something from me.”
Aiah didn’t say a word, and her grip loosened around Jhoanna.
The lights come on, and Jhoanna quickly gets out of Aiah’s arms. The crowd around them erupted in cheers after that 1-minute thing. Jhoanna knew what they’d done within that timeframe, and somehow, she felt relieved that the guy wasn’t on her side during that minute.
Pero gumaan nga ba talaga ang pakiramdam niya knowing that it was Aiah who was with her that moment?
“I’m going home. Mag stay ka nalang muna rito kung gusto mo.”
She was about to go out when Aiah held her arm, “I’ve already booked a grab. Papunta na siya. Balak ko pa talagang yayain kang umuwi kanina.”
Jhoanna stared at her for a moment before she obliged. Buong car ride, wala silang imik. Both of them were just looking out in the window, finding solace in the peaceful street that is usually busy.
Once inside their apartment, the feeling that Jhoanna felt deepened. She was silent, pero para na siyang sasabog any moment now dahil sa nararamdaman niya.
Wala eh, kinimkim niya na ito nang matagal. She needs to let it out. To tell Aiah what has been bothering her.
“Say… should we continue the game here?” Jhoanna asked in the softest voice.
Napatingin sa kaniya si Aiah. Judging by the way she looked, she was hesitant. She stared at her for a minute, pilit na tinitimbang if it was a good idea to continue the dare or not.
Jhoanna looks drunk despite her strong act. So it might not be a good idea to continue.
But on the other hand, mukhang hindi niya rin mapipilit si Jhoanna once na sabihin niyang hindi.
She sighed then surrendered herself from the soft cushions on their living room.
“And what could your dare be?” she answered, her eyes never leaving Jhoanna even for a second.
Jhoanna also sat beside Aiah, although her gaze was focused on the ceiling. She breathes in, readying herself for what might happen.
“I dare you,” she paused, then bit her lips, “To give back what you stole from me.”
Aiah swallowed hard, her breath hitched slightly.
“Why do you keep on telling me that I stole something from you?”
“Because you do, Aiah.” Jhoanna met Aiah’s eyes, “Nung ginawa mo ‘yun sa’kin hindi na ‘yun nawala sa utak ko—sa sistema ko.” She clenched her fists when her eyes landed on Aiah’s lips. “Please, help me to get it out of my head.”
“Ibalik mo sa akin ‘yung ninakaw mong halik.”
Wala na siyang pake kung matawa man si Aiah sa sinabi niya. That incident happened 2 months ago, yet hanggang ngayon ay tumatak parin ito sa kaniya.
Can she blame her for this? Can she blame Jhoanna for something that she’s done?
Kasalanan niya rin naman kung bakit niya ito nararamdman ngayon. Now, she just wanted it to get it out her mind.
But it also sounded absurd that Jhoanna’s way to make it out of her system was to repeat the exact reason of it.
“That seems a bad idea, Jho.” Aiah replied, hesitant—but her eyes were also focused on Jhoanna’s lips and eyes.
“I’m brave enough to take the risk.”
“And what would happen tomorrow? Hindi mo ba pagsisisihan?”
“Who cares about tomorrow?” Jhoanna replied, “1-minute, walang malisya.” She then whispered.
Aiah swallowed the invisible lump in her throat. She reached out, her fingers tracing the line of Jhoanna’s jaw. Her touch… was lingering—sending a shiver down Jhoanna’s spine.
Jhoanna leaned in to Aiah’s touch, making their faces an inch away. Their breaths were soft and smelled a mix of alcohol, and they almost tickled their faces.
“Make it 2,” Aiah whispered before claiming Jhoanna’s lips into a messy and passionate kiss.