Gentle isn't in Azulas dictionary
She is not known for such a thing.
"Showing anything gentle is weak. It won't bring anything to being the Fire Lord so why bother with something so useless" she always sneered
That was always her go to excuse for why she isn't gentle with anything or anyone. Gentle will never help anyone achieve anything- how did her father get to where he is today? By being nice and gentle? Fat chance.
Gentle is usless
Unimportant
But Azula is well aware of how gentle it is good at the same time. She sees it when her mother treats her brother with the love and affection she so desperately needs but will never admit. She sees it everywhere she goes, so why is it so different for her? Azula would love to put the silent blame on her father for yet again ruining what she craved, but she knows - even though he helped with her mindset. Azula herself is to blame for her harsh borderline sadistic treatment of others so one thing is for sure-
She doesn't know how to be gentle.
Doesn't know how to be genuinely kind to anyone. She was taught at a young age to be a fighter - a warrior. Someone to be the future Fire Lord - she never saw a reason to learn how to - even years later, of realizing what she really wanted - needed. She didn't deserve it anyways- but then she met someone who showed that even she deserved to be loved.
You-
You were never afraid to just hold her hand- speak such kind words even ignoring how she complained how cheesy you were. How idiotic it all was.
Why bother to show her such a thing? Why does it make her feel good? Like she's needed. Like you genuinely want her- not the Princess. But Azula herself.
Deep down her biggest fear is something she knows shes not. She isn't her father- she would never hurt you or do anything to make that thought a reality. She has the misfortune of inheriting her fathers temper among other things. The day she realized how much she loves you was also the day she made a pledge- to never get mad at you- which also meant to never burn you. She wasn't her father who burned his son. But she dreads the day her nightmare may become a reality.
Months into the relationship and she never made a move to hold your hand much less hug you- she didn't know how to do it really. Only times she's hugged anyone was when Ty Lee jumped on her to hug her or you did. But never once did Azula herself do it. But she knew at some point she'd need to at least attempt it.
So she will. This is Azula she can do this- can do anything.
-
Sitting beside you in her room - one of the hourly reading moments you do to 'pass the time' or whatever but insist on spending time with Azula still. She just chalked it up to it being something weird only you would do. Playing with the crown in her, she waited for her moment silently. Eyeing your hand while trying to be secretive about it- it failed. You saw how antsy she was getting- how she was staring at your hand the past week like it was gonna grow wings and fly away- or as her brother stated be burnt to a crisp by how intently she stared
You let your hand fall beside you- holding the book in one hand trying not to obvious on how you were watching her. Seeing her hand slowly move the crown down and inch towards your hand- you knew you made the right choice.
Azula's heart pounded- it wasn't anything big or world shattering by any means- but to her- to Azula this was a big step in the direction she wanted. To be able to gently hold you. She just needed to work on baby steps annoyingly.
She flinched as her fingers touched your hand- frozen in a silent thought before slowly covering your hand with hers. Softly covering your hand as if she was afraid to break it- slowly she breathed out in relief.
The two of you sat in her bed- you reading(not) and her siting happily holding your hand. Finally working the courage to do something she's been wanting to do on her own since the beginning of your relationship.