Lena saving the day?
Lena had two options after Alex’ confession. She could either pretend nothing happened or confront Kara and hope for the best. Usually, she was one to face her problems head on, she’d much rather learn the truth than staying in the dark. But here she had a little too much to lose.
Kara and Lena had been through a lot in the few years they knew each other, more than either of them had with any other person before. Lena had to admit, she never thought someone will put this much effort to keep her around and the idea of losing Kara, losing this friendship made her legs shake in an uncomfortable way.
Lena couldn’t really focus after Alex left, her head was still throbbing and she knew she had to force herself to eat before making a decision. She let her secretary know that she’s feeling off, enough to cancel the rest of her meetings for today before taking a ride back home. She stopped on the way to grab herself food, even in this little gesture she couldn’t help but think of Kara.
After eating her lunch, showering for more than 30 minutes and taking a power nap, Lena was more than ready to face Kara. It buzzed inside her chest, maybe she was excited. No, she couldn’t be, but she was hopeful and that said a lot.
Kara was not home yet, she knew. She usually arrived at around 6 pm, if she didn’t have some superhero’s duty after work, but Lena still made her way to the girl’s house, using the spare key to enter and make herself comfortable on the couch. She did send a quick text to her best friend to let her know she was waiting for her.
Now that she had the time to really focus on her decision, Lena would admit she was nervous. She was going to confess her feelings after 4 years and she was going to be brutally honest as long as Kara let her be. They deserved to at least close this thing and put it away if they won’t agree they deserve an actual chance at being together.
Kara arrived an hour later. She seemed a little out of breath, giving Lena a small nod before closing the door behind her. Lena didn’t say anything yet Kara was already on the verge of a nervous breakdown.
“Kara?” Lena called, raising from her place to walk slowly in her best friend’s direction. “Is everything okay?”
Kara hummed, dropping her head to avoid meeting Lena’s gaze. She placed her beg on the island, taking a small shallow breath before turning to Lena’s direction again, still not meeting her eyes. “Hey, I hope you didn’t wait for long”
“No. I had some stuff to read for work anyways so it’s been fine. I like your apartment much better than my office.” Lena said with a soft smile, but when Kara still avoided looking at her, something burst open in her chest. “Look at me.” She demanded.
Her tone was stern, almost bossy. But it worked like a charm. Kara looked up quickly, meeting Lena’s eyes. They were still far away from each other, but the air was charged and they both knew this conversation was long time coming.
“I don’t know what I’ve done to have you treat me this way, like I’m a stranger, but I’m not. You’re my best friend, and I deserve to know what’s going on”
Lena could see all the emotions rush through Kara’s features, guilt and shame, sadness and distress. She looked apologetic before finally walking closer to Lena. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I’ve been off for a while and it affected our friendship”
“Why can’t you talk to me?” Lena asked, stress pressing against her ribs. It felt odd, to feel this distant from Kara. “We promised to tell the truth, this what makes this friendship possible”
Instead of having the desired effect, Kara seemed to take her words like she needed to defend herself. “I’m sorry but you’re not the first person I talk to about things, Lena”
It burned.
“Do you even talk to anyone about those things? Or you just let your mind run wild while pretending to be fine in front of everyone?” Lena huffed, dropping her head. “Because you’re not fooling anyone.”
Kara let out a bitter laugh. “I’m not fooling anyone but it still took you this long to call me out on it”
“I’m tired of being pushed away, Kara. I deserve better than this.” Lena shook her head, biting down on her bottom lip. She felt betrayed and Kara couldn’t dare look at her face knowing the hurt she would see in her features.
“That’s what I say all the time, Lena, I’m tired of hurting you. You deserve better than me.”
Kara moved to the couch, taking a seat with her head in her hands. She was exhausted and quit literally a mess, fearing the possibility of not having Lena in her life once this conversation will end. Lena watched her, careful and now a little curious. She never heard Kara say anything similar to this before.
“You never told me I deserve better than you. Why would this thought even cross your mind?” Lena questioned slowly, taking her seat back but remaining out of Kara’s personal space.
“I worried that if I told you anything like this, you’d either get defensive or mad at me for even thinking this way. I told Alex a bunch of times, including last night.” Kara admitted, shrugging her shoulders. She looked like a child trying to block out the outside world. Lena knew the feeling but never once when she was with Kara.
“Oh, yes. You know me well enough. I am mad. You are literally the best of us, the best person I have the pleasure to know, if I deserve better than you than I am really at loss in here.” Lena forced herself out of the anger. Kara needed her as a best friend now more than ever. How could she possibly think that Lena could find anyone who’s as close to good to Kara, there’s no one better.
“You deserve someone who’d make you feel normal.” Kara muttered.
“You deserve someone who’d make you feel normal, Kara.” Lena argued, grabbing Kara’s hand in the heat of her statement and then dropping it once she understood her action. “You said to me a while ago, that with me you’re not everyone else’s hero, you are only Kara and you deserve this feeling. And just to even the score, I do feel normal with you and only with you. I’m not Lex’s sister, I’m not my father’s daughter or the CEO of a huge company. For you, I’m just Lena and most of the time it’s the only thing I want to be, your Lena.”
They both stopped at Lena’s statement, each surprised with other parts of it. Lena, of course, felt relieved for finally telling Kara that she always felt the same. Kara, on the other hand, couldn’t help but find the confession so romantic, the hope finding its place in her chest again.
She peaked between her hands at her best friend, before straightening in her spot. “I didn’t know you feel this way.”
“Because I never had the guts to tell you,” Lena nodded slowly. “God, I’m this much better at those things when I’m at work”
“I think you did just fine now.” Kara admitted, giving her a small, personal smile. “Can I also admit something?”
“I think it’s time for us to finally say everything, don’t you think?” Lena asked quietly.
“When I say I don’t think I’m good enough for you, I mean it not as friends.” Her voice hitched, but she forced herself to continue. “You deserve so much love, Lena, and I have it stored only for you. I can love you like I never loved before, I know that. But I’m actually scared to death.”
Lena blinked, trying to let everything sink in. “Why are you scared?”
“Because you deserve someone who would treat you right, would love you until their last day alive, who’d treat you like you are their world.” Kara was ranting, she knew, but letting all of those hidden feelings out was refreshing, surprisingly, and not that scary so she was not going to stop soon. “And I hurt you so badly before, so badly you wanted nothing to do with me. And the only thing that’s scaring me more than not loving you right, is not having you in my life.”
“Kara, can you do me a favor?” Lena requested, now a little closer than before. Kara nodded her head quickly, almost fearfully. “Can you kiss me already?”
Kara couldn’t help but close the gap between them at the request, leaning over rather awkwardly to press her lips against Lena’s but she stopped right before she could. Lena whined lowly, giving Kara a questioning look.
“What?” Kara asked, a little teasing in her voice.
“You stopped right before kissing me! God, I’ve been waiting for 4 years for you to pull your weight and finally do it, and now you’re stopping?”
“Of course.” Kara replied slowly. “Because you only get one first kiss and like you said, we’ve been waiting for a while.”
She pulled Lena up from the couch easily, the two standing close together but they had to be closer. Kara wrapped a confident arm around Lena’s waist, while Lena brushed a single blonde strand away from Kara’s eyes, her hands settling on the woman’s cheeks.
“Okay, when you put it like that I can totally understand why.” Lena mumbled before finally pressing their lips together.
It wasn’t rushed, like Lena expected it to be. It didn’t have fireworks either. But the simplicity of Kara’s soft lips pressed against hers after years of loving from afar and watching others being able to hold her like she wished she could, Lena couldn’t help but count this kiss as her own personal win and a step in the right direction.