5 points

The dinner was fine, nothing exceptional. It was disappointing in Alice’s opinion. She always heard such wonder about the Slughorn’s party, she was expecting … She didn’t what she expected but surely something more interesting than just a boring dinner with boring discussion. The moment Alice hit her peak of boredom was when Jim Thomas was doing a monologue about how important care to magical creatures is and then proceeded to describe every kind of magical bird that possibly exists. She had to fight to keep a yawn escaping from her mouth. Narcissa noticed it and they both share a short and restrained laugh before concentring back to whatever Jim was saying. The boy was unstoppable, even Slughorn begun to show signs of boredom. 

Frank on the other hand was totally mindblown by all this information dump. He even asked questions, which result in Jim speaking even longer. Alice could swear she saw Lily cast a nasty look toward him. Lily who’s always so sweet was like every other person at this table: Done with this bird's convo. Luckily for them, Sirius couldn’t care less about his reputation among teachers, so he did what everyone wanted to do but didn’t dare. He Interrupted Jim’s monologue and asked for dessert. And by Slughorn’s reaction, Alice has not been mistaken, he was as happy as the other students to finally escape from the birds and their meaning. What does this even mean? How birds can have meaning? Alice doesn’t know because she wasn’t actively listening to Jim. Because she doesn’t care. But also because Lucius was whispering something to Narcissa and that seems much more interesting. 

No matter how much Alice tried, She couldn’t hear anything Lucius was saying. What could he say that’s so funny that Narcissa is laughing? She wasn’t having it. Alice hated to be excluded from a joke. Her brain likes to play jokes on her when she sees people laughing without her. Her thoughts go directly to They must be making fun of me. Obviously, Alice knew how egocentric this way of thinking was. Not everything revolves around her. People can laugh about anything. But for some reason, if people in the same room as her were laughing, she couldn’t stop overthinking it. And seeing Lucius and Narcissa laughing and whispering like that, it was the worst. Especially because it’s Lucius and Narcissa, Alice couldn’t stop thinking they were making fun of her. The more time passed, the more they whispered to each other the worst it was. Alice could feel her anxiety and discomfort level rising. 

When the desert was served, her anxiety was at its peak. Even tho the sticky toffee pudding in front of her looked delicious, she couldn’t eat any bit of it. She felt so nauseous, Alice needed to get out and breathe fresh air. But she couldn’t possibly leave the table. It was rude and the last thing she wanted was to cause a scene. It would make the matter so much worst. Alice is stuck there with no way of calming down. 

But then, she felt a hand on her knee. It was Frank. She wasn’t even aware of how bouncy her leg was acting but Frank noticed it and put a gentle hand on her knee to help her. He was not watching her, concentrated on the discussion between Sirius and Slughorn about which dessert is the best. 

It was not the first time Frank witnessed one of Alice’s panic attacks. And at this moment she felt really grateful he was there regardless the last-minute invitation. Frank's presence and awareness were helping a bit but still, she could stop the attack.

When Alice looked up from her leg, her eyes met Narcissa’s. She was done laughing Lucius. And instead of the gleeful face she had earlier, she seems worried. Alice couldn’t care less about Narcissa’s worries right now, she has other things to worry about such as stopping the panic attack or she might faint from lack of oxygen. Her breathing was difficult and even with slow and steady respiration, she still struggled. 

But Narcissa did something strange. She took her cup and picked out discreetly an ice cube and made a little movement in the direction of Alice. She was showing her something like she did earlier with the fish knife. She took the ice cube and pressed it on the inside of her wrist. And with a movement of her head, she invited Alice to do the same. Which she did. Alice was perplexed and at first thought, Narcissa was messing with her. But when she put the ice on her wrist, she could sense the relief. Her breathing became easier and her heartbeat slowed. Alice could feel the calm after the storm came. This whole situation was so stressful she could have cried on the spot. But she was still in public so she stopped herself before. 

When she looked around, no one was watching her, except Narcissa. Everyone was talking with each other paying no attention to Alice. It was calming. Even Lucius was occupied with Andromeda talking about Merlin knows what but weirdly avoiding Ted.  

It was like Narcissa and Alice were in their own bubble of calm. This was weird because mere minutes ago Alice was panicking because of Narcissa’s behaviour and now she was calming down thanks to Narcissa’s help. Confusing. 

***

When everyone had finished their dessert, the discussion continued but signs of fatigue were showing up. It’s only when Sirius let out a big yawn like the big baby he can be, that Slughorn invited everyone to go back to their dorm and get a good night of sleep. 

Narcissa was not particularly tired so when everyone got up from the table and started leaving, she just took her time. Some thoughts stuck in her head kept her from going directly to her dorm. Instead, she longed in the corridor worries still on her mind. 

“Are you coming or what?” asked Lucius brutally. At times, Lucius could really be a good friend, like earlier tonight when He and Narcissa joked about how Slughorn seemed bored with Jim’s monologue. It was funny and simple. But now he was just a impatient douchebag. 

“Go on without me, I need to ask Slughorn about something” Narcissa replied. Or more so, lied. She wasn’t waiting to talk with Slughorn. She was waiting to ask Alice if everything was okay. But she could never tell Lucius that. She wasn’t ready to admit it to herself. It made no sense. Narcissa Black, arch-nemesis of Alice Fortescue, wanted to check if she was okay. Non-sense. But still, she stayed at the door of the room watching Lucius leave toward the Dungeon. 

Maybe it’s because Narcissa isn’t a stranger to panic attacks. She knows that it can be really unsettling. And if she had one tonight, she would like for someone to check on her. Even people she doesn’t like very much. Just to feel seen and understood. 

Andromeda and Ted came out of the room and said their last goodbyes to 2 last remaining students and the professor. When they reached Narcissa, Andy stopped and asked her why she was waiting there. And just like she answered Lucius, She told her she was waiting to talk to Slughorn. But Andromeda was Narcissa’s sister, not a simple idiot to who you can lie easily. She just raised an eyebrow at Narcissa to pass a silent message, a silent question. But Narcissa maintained her stance even though she knew Andromeda could see right through her. If she understood what was going on she said nothing and just grabbed Ted’s hand before leaving. 

A few moments passed and practically all the students had regained their dorm. Only 2 students were lingering in the room. But finally, Alice came out.  Narcissa went to her but as she reached Alice, Frank came out too and grabbed gently Alice’s hand and put it on his arm to lead her to the dorm. Alice seemed tired but was smiling and when she looked at Narcissa she esquisse a shy smile and reported her attention to Frank. 

They were now both gone and Narcissa was alone just outside of Slughorn’s classroom that had been rearranged for tonight’s dinner. 

“Can I help you Miss Black?” said a voice from behind Narcissa. She turned around and Slughorn was standing in the doorway. 

“No, nothing sir,” she said not sure what explanation to give as to why she was still there. “I was…”She began, “I thought I forgot my purse here so I came back to check it out but I guess it’s not there” She made up on the spot. “Lucius might have taken it with him” she concluded. 

“You came here without any purse Miss Black” he simply replied, with a slight smile on his face. 

“You must be right” she allowed “So I wish you a good night then Sir” she ten added ready to leave before making a fool of herself. 

“The ice cube is a great technique, I’m sure Miss Fortescue is thankful for your help,” he said smiling. “Good night to you too Miss Black” he wished and then turned around re-entering his classroom. 

Narcissa stood alone in the hallway in shock. Did Slughorn see Alice having a panic attack? And he did nothing? Or does he just see when Narcissa showed the ice cube trick to Alice? What was he assuming when he said Alice is thankful? What did he mean? 

When the door behind her closed and the sound reverberated on the wall of the hallway, Narcissa finally moved and went straight to the dorm, straight to bed. She was sure of one thing, she needed to sleep. 

***

On her way back to the dorm, Alice was lost in her thought when Frank stopped abruptly. 

“Are you okay?” he asked worried. The question felt weird to Alice. It was coming from nowhere. 

“Yeah,” she answered weakly. “Why this question ?” she asked in return. 

“I noticed you were stressed at the dinner. Your leg kept on bouncing. Is there something on your mind?” he questioned further. 

Narcissa thought Alice instantly but she kept quiet. What would Frank think if she explained that she had Narcissa in mind? Weird. She doesn’t understand it herself so How could Frank? Narcissa was stuck on Alice’s head. As well as a lot of questions. Like, how did she know about the ice cube trick? Where did she learn that from? Did she use it? Does she need it? Does Narcissa Black, Little Miss Perfect, the Slytherin Heiress have a panic attack? It can’t be. She’s too perfect for that. She never failed. That’s what’s challenging for Alice. That’s why she likes having Narcissa as a rival. Narcissa is so perfect that if Alice can beat her and be even more perfect than her in something, like getting better marks than her for example, then it means that Alice can reach perfection even with all her flaws. Even with the panic attack and the anxiety. But if Narcissa too has to deal with those kinds of things…Then it means that They are way more similar than what Alice thought. Narcissa warned Alice a few days ago. They are not so different after all. 

And weirdly, it was a reassuring feeling to think that Narcissa might have the same flaws as her. She felt less alone in a sense. 

“Nothing” she finally responded to Frank, “It was just my overthinking again and It made me anxious” she added. It was true. She did get anxious because of how she overthinks everything. But she doesn’t want to explain further. Because when you think about it, it’s ridiculous. She got herself into a panic attack because she thought some people were joking at her. Which might not even be the case. Yeah, that was way too ridiculous and Alice knows it. 

Frank can be clueless sometimes there’s nothing new here. But sometimes, he gets things. He understands what to do or not to do. And at this moment he understood Alice and her wanting to brush it off and act like it didn’t happen. So that’s what he did. He began to walk again, Alice still at his arm and carried on with a new topic of discussion. He kept talking, seeing that Alice felt more comfortable in her own silence, listening to him. 

When they reached the Gryffindor’s common room, they bid each other good night and rejoined their dorm quietly. 

Molly and Emmeline were already asleep, so Alice casted a silencing spell around her bed to make sure not waking up her friends. She slipped in her sheet and Morphe took her out immediately.