Hidding Bodies 2
Masha groaned as they slowly began to wake up.
“Ugh. Why do I feel like I am dying?”
The curtains were wide open, letting the sunshine right into their closed eyes like daggers. Masha turned over and snuggled into the soft person lying next to her and tried to go right back to sleep.
…
WHAT!
Masha quickly woke up and got a good look at where she was. They quickly let out a sigh of relief once they realized they were fully clothed. After that, they looked at who they were sharing a bed with and saw Vee in her basilisk form. She was hugging a stuffed owl Luz had made her as she murmured in her sleep.
Masha could only look at her and wonder how they got so lucky to date someone this adorable. After a few moments, the hangover reasserted itself, forcing them out of bed and into the bathroom.
After cleaning up, they stumbled into the kitchen, where Luz was busy mixing something on the stove. Camilla wandered into the room a little later, looking as bad as Masha felt.
“Good morning! Here is the hangover cure Eda taught me.”
She then poured a red liquid from the saucepan into two mugs and handed them to her mother and future in-law. Both of them grunted before sipping from them.
“Huh, this tastes pretty good.” Camilla then blinked a few times before taking another sip. “And it is actually working! What is in it?”
Luz filled several plates with mangu before walking to the table and setting places for everyone in the house. “Oh, just a few plants native to the Isles boiled with some of the alcohol used to make you hungover in the first place. Amity helped with the enchanting to really get it working.”
Masha had finished her mug and was feeling like she hadn’t drunk anything last night. “Any chance you could start selling this?”
Luz just shook her head. “Like I said, it will only work if you add the exact type of alcohol to it as you make it. For this, I just poured some of my homemade mama juana into it. If, for example, you drank Bud Light, you would need a Bud Light from the same batch to counter it specifically. Using a Budweiser or a Bud from a different batch instead would not affect the hangover. Given just how many kinds of alcohol there are and how hard it would be to make sure it was from the right batch, it is just not feasible to use this for anything other than home remedies.”
“Too bad, this would sell for big money.”
“Yeah, but if it gets too popular we might get the FDA coming over to examine it to make sure it is safe to drink.”
Lux just shrugged at that. “I’m not too worried about things like that. We can just break into their HQ and rig their records to say we passed.”
Camilla shot Luz a disapproving look. “Luz, you can add that to the list of non-approved crimes. I do not want you messing with-“
She froze in place as a look of horror grew on her face.
“Masha, do you remember what happened last night?”
Masha scrunched up their face. “Um, I stopped by the Vet office to help plan Vee’s birthday in mid-November. Then we got some visitors from a rival gang show up, so you gave them some of that stuff Willow gave us. After that-“
Masha froze in place as she recalled what happened.
“We killed six people.”
Luz sighed in relief. “I am so glad you remember on your own. I REALLY didn’t want to have that conversation with you. The good news is that the bodies are all dealt with.”
Camille turned to Luz. “Dealt with?”
“Yeah. Willow turned one into plant food, Gus broke into a crematorium and torched one, Hunter buried one in that graveyard from the 1600s, Amity liquified the non-bones and then broke and scattered the bones across the forest floor, I dumped one in the drug den along with that ricin you asked Willow to get rid of, and the last we just flew 100 miles out to sea and tossed him in with a cinderblock tied to the feet.”
Masha and Camilla just kept staring at Luz like she grew a second head, prompting her to sigh. Luz then walked over to Camilla and hugged her.
“I know Amity told you this last night, but I know how hard it is to accept what people tell you about how bad things aren’t your fault.”
She then looked at Masha and opened her arms to invite them into the hug also. A few seconds later Luz was hugging two sobbing messes. The rest of the household walked in and patted one or both on the shoulder before starting on their breakfasts after Luz’s prompting. After a few minutes, Camilla and Masha backed up and dabbed their eyes.
“Thank you, Luz, and I’m sorry you had to see me like that.”
Luz just smiled. “Don’t worry, you held me when I had similar breakdowns before.”
RING RING RING
Hunter pulled out his phone and checked the caller ID.
“It’s the mob boss.” He turned to Camilla. “Can I put it on speaker? This is something we should all talk about.”
After she nodded, Hunter did just that.
“ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? You need to get to cover. I just got word that some leg-breakers were sent after you by one of my rivals. I am having some guys heading your way, but I don’t know when they will show up. What resources-“
Luz just looked at the phone with a small smile on her face. “You’re late.”
“They are listening in on this call, aren’t they.”
“Nope. All six of them are dead.”
…
“Kid, I am so sorry that you had to go through that.”
Camilla then spoke up. “I am the one that did it. I put too much sleeping drug in the water I gave them.”
The boss released a sigh of relief. “I am still sorry you had to do that, but I am glad it was you and poison and not the kids and more violent options. I’ll call my men on the way. What did you do with the bodies?”
Hunter then spoke up. “We disposed of them in six different ways to make sure people don’t connect them.”
…
“I am afraid to ask, but how?”
“burning, burying in the middle of nowhere, dumping in the ocean, things like that.”
“I am somewhere between impressed and horrified right now.”
“¿Cómo crees que me siento?”
“Hun?”
“Mami asked how do you think she feels.”
“Can’t argue with that. Now, since you did take out one of said rivals' better leg-breakers and disposed of the bodies yourself, how about some compensation?”
Luz just sighed. “As much as I would love that, we are running out of ways to launder it. Even with mom in the know, there are just too few ways to explain how a single mom taking care of 6 kids can run multiple businesses. Even the fake ID we have don’t get the money into OUR accounts.”
“I was thinking of just using the money I was going to pay you to instead hire your group a therapist instead. Sound good?”
“YES!”
Camilla rushed over to the phone and grabbed it like a lifeline.
“We need therapists ASAP! I am a single mom taking care of 6 kids who are running a crime ring to support us! We have committed DOZENS of felonies! I KILLED 6 PEOPLE LAST NIGHT!”
She then spent several seconds just gasping for air as everyone in the room just looked at her like she lost her mind. Luz then gently pulled the phone from her hands before talking.
“That would be great, can we get it made to look like a charity program or something like that?”
“Definitely! I was going to do one month for the six of you, how about I do two months for the seven instead?”
“Thanks. Quick question, can we increase how long we are doing it by-“
“¡LUZ NOCEDA! ¡NO VAS A SER UNA SICARIA PARA LA MAFIA!”
“I am guessing that’s Spanish for ‘no killing for money?’”
“Basically. I was not going offer to do that, we have no experience with killing people.”
She then shot Hunter a look. “Well, none of us want to kill anyone else. I was going to suggest we dispose of bodies for you.”
“That is slightly better. We have more professional people to do that, and you are too remote to be used by us for that.”
“How about we come to you when you get a body and then take care of it?”
“Again, we have people a lot closer and more professional for that. The best I can do is have you on the list for the extremely unlikely event we need body disposal near you.”
“Sounds good to me. Any idea if anyone is going to come after us in revenge for this?”
“No idea. I will contact you as soon as I- Wait, I’m getting an emergency call. One second.”
Luz put down the phone and turned to look at her pale-faced mother.
“Luz, why are you trying to dispose of more bodies?”
She shrugged. “Easy, we need to get the others as much therapy as possible.”
Camilla and Amity narrowed their eyes at her. “Luz, you are going to therapy also.”
Luz shrunk into herself. “I don’t want to take up time that could be better spent on helping the other.”
Amity rolled her eyes. “You heard him, it's 2 months for each of us. You not going won’t make things better for us at all. It will make us more stressed out and worried about you.”
Luz sighed in defeat. “Fine, I’ll go with you.”
At that moment the boss came back online.
“I just received word that the rival that sent the leg-breakers is making plans to send a hit squad after you this time.”
Hunter immediately sat up.
“When are they coming?”
“Next week. I’ll put some pressure on them in to hopefully get them to leave you alone, but you should start preparing for more hostiles.”
“Don’t worry. We can deal with them.”
“Kid, there is a difference between slipping something into someone’s drink and a hit squad. Do any of you besides Jacob have experience with large numbers of people with a desire to murder you?”
The entire Hexsquad looked at each other for several moments before Hunter answered.
“Actually, most of us do have experience with that. Heck, I led a few hit squads in the past.”
…
“How is it that I am relieved and concerned at the same time? Now, let me know if any show-up. I can send some men up to help keep you safe if you want.”
“Thanks for the offer, but I think we will be fine. If things change, I’ll let you know.”
“Fine. I’ll keep you updated on anything on my end.”
“Got it, have a nice day.”
She hung up on the boss and turned to the others. “OK, any idea how to deal with the gang after us?”
“How about we just kill them.”
Everyone turned to look at Hunter in shock, while he just returned a look of confusion.
“What? We did this all the time in the Emperor’s Coven.”
Camilla just sighed at that. “OK, add that to the list you are going to talk to your therapist about when you get to them. Now, how about we just call the cops on them?”
Luz just shook her head. “Bad idea. If we send the cops in any force to keep them from retaliating, then they might think our mob friends did it. In that case, what will stop them from rolling on them?”
Camilla looked at her for a few seconds before sighing. “Nothing. Does anyone else have ideas?”
Amity raised her hand. “The boss said he was going to do something about it. How about we just leave them alone until after he gets back to us about them and then worry about them? Let's just worry about the therapy for now.”
Camilla sighed. “That sounds like a good idea. Let's do that.”
With that, everyone sat around the table and ate together. Masha, who was sitting in shock looking at what was happening whispered to Amity.
“Are you going to leave them alone?”
“Of course not. What’s a little arson of mob fronts compared to everything else we have done so far?”