Part 32
Part 32.
𝓣𝓪𝓮𝓱𝔂𝓾𝓷𝓰 𝓹𝓸𝓿:
I feel my steady breathe as I walk through the bushes and trees, my hands feel sweety with how much tightly I have clasped the woolen gloves, I smile looking at them, they remind me of time back when I had prepared those soft velvety once for my honour.
The air feels cold today as compared to what it ever had, moon shines with the stars pacing around me, it's just pretty. I wrap my arms around my body as the temperature starts to fall as I go deeper and deeper into the woods. I was too eager to even notice I had left my shawl in my chambers itself.
It doesn't take any long, when I hear a soft voice humming the melody, I stop soon, and I see Jungkookie lying on the slightly wet grass, his arms spread wide, his eyes big and wide staring at the moon again. I wonder what he loves so much about the moon, I have seen his eyes glow and shimmer with spark everytime he stares at it.
He looks at peace, and that's what I have ever asked for.
My eyes scan the place, the hills is little higher then the other one around, higher for the small huts to be seen which are down the village. It's surrounded with trees bearing beautiful flowers, it's cool and calm.
This is his another safe place.
"Pearl? " My eyes instantly fall on the man who stares at me with a smile and dreamy eyes.
I nod and walk back to him, he is no more lying on the grass.
"You didn't had to catch me around here Jungkookie, It was supposed to be a surprise " He holds my wrist delicately as I say.
He pulls me over him, I let my self settle between him, back of my shoulder touching his firm hard chest, my head on his shoulder blade, and his cheeks soft on my hair.
"This is not really the first time I have caught you sneaking on me pearl" He laughs.
And that makes me flushed, I do remember the very first time I had chased him secretly, walking tiptoed till his bedroom, and then he had turned around ready to almost snap my neck out of my body.
I still remember that day, when his eyes had met mine and I knew I would someday eventually fall harder for them.
"I can recognize you with the way your breathe"
I breathe deeply.
He wraps his hands around me, bringing me closer to him, his hands hold mine, we were almost back hugging.
I let myself be at ease too, my eyes follow his eyes as I stare back at moon and stars.
"Why do you keep on staring at moon ? Were you thinking of anything? " I ask
He shakes of his head.
"I was not staring at moon, I was staring at the pole star" I look back at him
Pole star?
I thought he was staring at moon all this time—
"Pole star? "
He humms
"Look at the pole star pearl" He points at it.
"Pole star never changes it's position it's always there at the same position no matter what days or months are.
I have stared at the moon everyday, one day it's beautifully full the other days it just keeps on disappearing from pole stars view. I wonder how lonely pole star must be feeling when moon starts to disappear"
"It must be lonely up there" I said after him.
His eyes are still on the pole star, his face glows with the moonlight. I'm happily wrapped in his arms, and we are no more lonely....
"By the way, I'm not much happy with your noonas" There a giggle I let out.
"It's been two days since they have been here and you already seem to forget me." I turn to his side, my nose nuzzled to his neck.
"Stop being jealous of them, would you? And specially when it's you, who called them here"
"I called them because I didn't wanted you to be lonely when I'll be gone, but looks like you love being with them, more than with me"
I slide from his grip, resting my head on his lap, my fingers curls on his smooth skin. He then smiles.
"Jungkookie, I have been thinking about you all the time. " In the deep dark night, I see his cheeks glow red.
His fingers massage my scalp.
"I can't tell you how Piercingly and endlessly I think about you. It's just you who have consumed my mind all the time, Jungkookie. "
He laughs out loudly then, he pinches my cheeks.
"You have been reading to Virginia wolf, my pearl ?? "
I whine instantly at that.
Yeahh, I forgot he is a great educated scholar .
His hand holds mine, as he stares at the woolen gloves and it reminds why I have been here.
"You made something for me pearl? " I nod at him.
He place his hand in mine, and I make him wear them.
I gulp as I hold his hand firm.
" Wear these inside gauntlet when you go on war, it will keep your hands warm"
he holds back my hands.
"I will"
Air between us thickens, no one says a word, we stay there caught up in a moment, were we beg for time to seize . We beg for each other to stay the way we are right now.
Time passes...
Suddenly I remember, the news I have been waiting to tell him, I rise back from his lap.
I try to air up the sad mood.
"Jungkookie, Jae Hyung asked out Mina noona" He dramatically gasps and pulls me back on the field, my head resting on his lap.
"And she said? "
"Yes!!!! She said yes. Noona said she'll get married as soon as she go back"
"She said she want me as her flowerman, would you let me go there Jungkookie? " I look up at him.
"You don't need my permission pearl, I would never stop you from doing anything you want to"
I get back up, and lean closer. Our hands still holding each other.
"Will you—"
"Will you come with me? "
He holds my waist
"I will. I will come everywhere you want me too"
It's been days since I had talked with yeri, her words resonates me. They keep me up all night.
" Jungkookahh"
He humms . I see his eyes wavering.
"Choose me "
He stares at void, confused and in shambles.
"Choose me this time Jungkook. Between every odds, between every responsibility, between every single person, please choose me Jungkook"
I hug him and he makes me sit me on his lap almost.
"Choose you? "
I nod
"I want you to choose me Jungkook. Please, you will right? "
I hear myself loath with vulnerability.
His eyes are straight on my face, void of any promise.
I bring him close, my clutch on his collar tightens, my head falls on his shoulder tiredly.
No~
Thats what he wanted to say ,no??
He hugs me tights back, but said no words.
He never promised.
He never told me he'll choose me.
And it makes me realise, I'll be left alone someday.
He won't want me beside him soon...
♡♡♡♡
I sit by the window as I see thousands of men standing stiff and honoured, there horses ready for the run. The armour on there chest shines, there swords sharp to cut a red flesh. They all look at there loved one's saying there last goodbye. There wives cry out , newborns chid wanting to be placed in the warmth of there Father. But all the warriors hold back stubborn.
And then I see Jungkook walking towards them, standing in front of his soldiers as he tries to agitate them, tell them they all have to win the war.
They all roar back, ful of enthusiasm and fire.
Jungkook turns around, he walks back to where his parents and yeri stand, he hugs his mother telling her to calm down and promising her, that he will try to come back safe.
His father is proud with his son being the only commandar of this vast immensely huge ocean of army.
While My noona holds yeri as she cries. He hugs her, She doesn't stop him like I did, but I can see her forcing herself to do so.
And then, amidst the chaos Jungkook looks up.
My Jungkook looks at my window, I duck in back. I press myself more into the wall. I don't want him to be gone.
If I avoid seeing him go, it might not feel like he is gone, no?
My heart shambles inside me.
I holds his tunic close to me, his scent lingers in my room still.
He was here, to get ready, to ask me to help him get in his armour.
"Pearl, My beautiful daisy. Won't you help me get in my armour? " I had helped him like I had did last time.
But thise time , it brings in new feelings, because this time I have fallen harder for him.
This time I feel myself tremble with worry and this time he leans forward kissing my forehead.
"Pearl, don't be much worried, eat well. Take care of yourself when I'm gone"
He had said.
He hugs me, and let's me cry on his shoulder.
"You are my lover pearl, take my side and stay stronger. Show people you are not just any paramour, you are my Queen. You are my beautiful pearl. "
He was trying his best to not let me fall behind without him, but how do I tell him without him I'm barely anything.
My tears roll over his skin as I shake my head.
"I don't care about anything Jungkook. Just come back safe"
"I will try my Pearl"
He kiss me another time, this time longer.
"Will you be here standing by the window? "
"Watch you going? " He smiles sadly.
"I don't want too, it hurts me. To see you go"
He nods, taking few step back.
"Pearl, I have loved you. Before even I knew it was possible for me to fall in love with anyone. Hope you know that. If it's upto me—"
"I will forever choose you"
And with that he was gone.
Yes I was reading Virginia Wolf's novels these days...
And it was her who had said ~I can't tell you how Piercingly and endlessly I think about you.
But rest of the words were mine.
Painfully mine.
It's just you who have consumed my mind all the time, Jungkookie.