Chapter 5
Their newest album came out and the first live performance in front of many people just ended. As usually they stayed on stage, waving their goodbyes to the fans, looking at cameras and bowing. Yeji always took Ryujin’s hand and they did the courtesy rounds together but that night was different.
Yeji saw Yuna waving to the audience at the left side of the stage. The maknae was all alone. The leader glanced to her right and saw Ryujin with Lia so she decided to join Yuna instead. The younger girl winced when she touched her from behind, wrapping her arms around her. It was all displayed on the big screens and the fans started to scream when they saw their interaction. They always did that whenever the members held hands or hugged each other.
Yeji couldn’t hold her wide smile back. The screaming she never got used to. So this time Yeji walked hand in hand with Yuna, leading her from one corner of the stage to the other, bowing, smiling and waving. It was part of their job, to seem kind, beautiful and all in all perfect. The smiles however hid the pain behind the pretty faces.
They were all tired after the concert so the members went to their own rooms to get some rest. It was pretty late by the time Yeji could lay her head on her soft pillow. She shut her eyes and sleep was already crawling to get her but suddenly Ryujin spoke in a husky voice.
“What was that tonight?”
Yeji was started and winced awake.
“What was what?” She asked in a soft, almost purring voice.
“We didn’t finish the concert together. You always come to me.”
Ryujin sounded calculating and somehow extremely calm, which knowing her scared Yeji a little.
“Well, I saw Yuna alone and I went to her.” She said carefully but then she remembered another reason. “Besides, you were with Lia, so I could ask the same, Ryujin.” She didn’t like it that she needed to explain her actions. She was her own person and she could do whatever she wanted.
“Hmm…”
“Hmm?” Yeji turned in her bed to face Ryujin on the other side of the room.
“Come to me next time, okay?” This time the other girl’s voice turned soft and her heart melted.
“Okay.”
“Promise?”
“Promise.”
Yeji held out her arm and extended her pinky. Ryujin took it with her finger and they shook it as a seal of the promise.
As per their contract with JYP Entertainment the members of ITZY had to do live videos with the fans watching. This time it was Yeji’s turn to tune in. It was in the middle of their tour so she was in a hotel room by herself. The fans were quick to join the live and flooded her with burning questions. To her surprise most of them involved Ryujin. Where’s Ryujin? Is she nearby? Call Ryujin over! How did you meet Ryujin for the first time?
And so Yeji provided. She told them the first time she met the younger girl.
„She’s been really nice since the beginning. I’ve just joined the company and she messaged me, asking me if I was the new trainee.” Yeji smiled as she recalled the memory. „She told me I was pretty because she saw my profile picture on the app. I was sure Ryujin was pretty as well, but she didn’t have a picture back then. She told me that the next day she would hug me and I would know who she was. I don’t know why she was so kind to me.” She paused and looked at herself in the camera. “I used to be insecure about my eyes. I think they are a bit sharp and in my trainee days everyone was afraid of me because of my natural expression.“
The live video went on and Yeji saw that Ryujin joined in at some point and sent her teasing messages.
“Ryuddeong is watching me now.” She laughed out loud when a new message popped up on her phone but she wouldn’t read it to the fans. It was too intimate and a joke between them the others wouldn’t get anyway.
Suddenly her door opened and a wild Ryujin appeared in her hotel room. Yeji froze for a second then burst out laughing. She just couldn’t help it, whenever Ryujin came a smile came with it. The texts scorched the app as they were coming in fast as lighting. Both girls stared at the phone’s screen and saw the shippers’ comments taking over. #Ryeji everywhere. She was already flustered but when Ryujin leaned closer and looked deeply in her eyes she froze in time again.
„Your eyes are your beauty. And your beauty never scared me.” Ryujin said ever so lovingly and out loud.
She couldn’t believe how bold Ryujin was. A lot of people were watching them and she just put oil to the fire. Yeji couldn’t let her be drawn into the universe Ryujin’s eyes held within them so she decided to joke around, trying to avert the audience.
“You can’t just barge in without a warning!” She exclaimed, but the warm feeling lingered on her cheeks.
“I sent you a message, dummy.” Ryujin took a seat next to her, their shoulders brushing.
Yeji stared at the younger girl, her face blank.
“Do you want me to leave?” Ryujin asked, acting all innocent.
“No.” She was way too fast with the answer.
“Okay. I just thought you wanted me to leave because you were staring.”
“I was just looking at your pretty face.” Teasing for teasing. Yeji managed to make Ryujin blush, even if it was for a little time. Then she remembered that hundreds of people were watching them. Her heart started to race but she put on a fake, awkward smile.
She returned her attention to the video and brushed her hair behind her ear. In the corner of her eyes she could see Ryujin taking out her phone and glancing at it, while she read the comments.
The teasing went on the shippers stayed while the vlive lasted. Half an hour later they decided it was time to say goodbye and call it a night.
“Alright.” Ryujin stood up, ready to leave. “I’ll let you sleep and be alone now.”
Yeji’s smile dropped and after thinking for a few seconds she grabbed Ryujin’s hand quickly, but gently, making her stop in her tracks.
“We can be alone together.”
Ryujin turned back to her and when she saw her smile Yeji sighed in relief.
“Can’t get enough of me, huh?”
Yeji laughed and slapped Ryujin’s hand, letting go of her.
“Stop the teasing already! You are so mean…”
She was not ready for what came afterwards. Ryujin started wiggling her eyebrows seductively and getting close to her. She eventually sat on her lap in the sexiest but also funniest way possible.
“I really hope the camera is turned off.” She tried to keep her composure but if was too much to handle. She didn’t even know where to put her hands once Ryujin was on her lap.
“Why? You are ashamed? Of me?” Ryujin asked seriously and she couldn’t decide if it was genuine or just another tease, but something told her that she was being serious this time. A hand was gently brushing her hair when they made eye contact.
“No?” Yeji rested her hands on Ryujin’s thighs, her palms sweating.
“Your hands are hot.” Ryujin stated, looking at her hands.
“Shut up, will you?” She was embarrassed enough already, but the younger woman just kept calling her out on everything she did. Yeji squirmed in her place, making herself comfortable. The weight resting on her wasn’t too much. Luckily Ryujin was a short girl, especially compared to Yeji.
“Okay, I will be just here….in silence.”
It took all the courage for Yeji to wrap her arms around the smaller girl’s waist and pull her closer, into a warm hug. Ryujin kept her promise and stayed silent while they hugged, but a sound hit Yeji’s eardrums. A rapid heartbeat. She could hear how fast Ryujin’s heart was pounding. She smiled under her nose, a small victory for her.
Apart from that the room became silent, only the outdoor noise filtered in almost inaudibly.
“You can speak now.” Yeji mumbled faintly after a few minutes, but held Ryujin close to her to hide her own face.
“What do you want me to say?”
“Anything.” She said and after a short pause added. “What’s on your mind?” Her voice still quiet.
It took a few moments before an answer came, the heart under her ear beating ever so fast.
“This is nice. I miss you. I mean, I miss sharing a room with you.”
Yeji loosed her grip on Ryujin to look up at her.
“You can always come and hang out.”
“I know, I just don’t want to bother you.”
“I will tell you to go when I had enough of you, don’t worry.”
She made Ryujin laugh and it was the most beautiful thing Yeji has ever seen.
“Alright, alright. Am I not too heavy?”
“No, you are fine…although, my legs are getting numb…” She admitted and shifted in her seat, but Ryujin stood up the second she mentioned her numb legs.
“I should go to sleep anyway.”
“Me too…it was just nice to have a little privacy together.”
She walked Ryujin all the way to the door because she wasn’t ready to let her go yet, but she knew she must.
“Hey, thanks for popping in tonight. You certainly made the fans happy.”
“Yeah, the comments went up in flames. They are crazy. In a good way.”
They laughed, recalling the wildest comments.
“Goodnight, Ryujinnie!”
“Good night, Yeji!”
She closed the door and went straight to her bed. Sleeping came really slowly. She was tossing and turning, she just couldn’t wipe the weird feeling she had when Ryujin was close. She missed the proximity, her scent, her warmth and she hated that she had these emotions towards her group member. Why couldn’t she have these feelings towards someone else? Acting normal around Ryujin became harder by the day and cameras followed their every move. How could she possibly hide the true nature of her feelings?