Yelena
Yelena had seen a lot of shit in her life. Things she wouldn’t wish on her worst enemy. But the Red Room had never prepared her for watching Kate turn herself inside out in pain. Immediately after the funeral Kate was on fire to find her mother’s killer. Even though Yelena didn’t feel like she knew how to be the kind of person that actually mourned, she could tell by the worried looks on Maria and Clint - and even Natasha - exchanged when Kate wasn’t looking that something was wrong. But they told her everyone had to mourn in their own ways, and Yelena believed them.
Time marched on, and so did Kate. By the end of September Maria had resumed their mission to free the widows, sending Kate, Natasha, and Yelena to Cuba to free two more. While they were there Yelena could see how Kate’s new zeal for training was paying off. She was quicker, sleeker, stronger, smarter. But back in the city all of those seemed to be more extreme. The sleekness slipped into a worrying weight loss. The strength seemed to be tinged with recklessness, especially as Kate now carried a firearm with her almost everywhere. The edge Kate had gained in situational awareness on the job turned to obsession over her mother’s death. Every day she would ask Yelena or Natasha for more evidence, more progress, more, more, but Yelena couldn’t bring herself to hand over the evidence from that night in the jail. She didn’t want Kate to feel the pain of seeing her mother that way - broken, battered, gone.
Yelena still believed she was human enough to stick it out. A black widow would run from pain, but that wasn’t who Yelena was anymore, wasn’t who she wanted to be. She wanted to make a home, a life with Kate. So instead she followed Kate around in silence, hoping to protect her heart - to protect both of their hearts.
“Where’s Kate?” asked Natasha around a bite of taco.
Yelena gestured down the street. “Quarterly meeting at Bishop Security,” she said with a shrug.
Natasha nodded cooly. “So that’s why we’re eating tacos outside in the rain. Got it.”
“I am worried! She is restless, careless-”
“Didn’t seem like that in Cuba.”
“You do not know her like I do. She is just biding her time until she can get to Kingpin. And I cannot let her-” Yelena cut off, heart in her throat.
“Mmmm… but remember that we can’t control the world, Yelena. You don’t get to decide for her. What was it Maria told you?”
“That Kate is ‘not mine to control’. But Natasha, she is reckless and she doesn’t know- she is my- I cannot-”
“Have you told her that?”
“What?”
“That you love her?” Yelena shook her head. “Maybe you could try that. Try explaining to her why you’re so scared.” She glanced over in time to catch Yelena grinding her teeth. “Look, Kate is on the cusp of having nothing to lose. So just make sure she never hits that point and she’ll be fine.”
----
Houston was muggy. It felt like everything was sticky. It made Yelena’s skin crawl. It also felt like a fascinating microcosm of the culture of the United States, and it occasionally took all of her training to not stop and gawk. She wondered if that was how Americans felt in Russia; looking for bears in the streets.
They were there to free five widows, all owned by American oil oligarchs. Since they were all owned by separate people, a large team wasn’t necessary. Just Kate, Natasha, Manuel, Smerdyakov, and Yelena had come, along with two techs. Their temporary base was downtown, hopefully in the midst of all the action.
They split up as soon as they got there, Natasha and Kate scouting one businessman while Yelena and Manuel followed another, Smerdyakov staying behind as backup. Natasha had stopped pairing Yelena and Kate together after they started dating. She wasn’t sure if it was because Natasha was worried they wouldn’t be able to do their jobs, or something else.
It turned out to be a boring assignment. Their target was the type to - apparently - only go to work and home, which fascinated Yelena. Many of the people who owned black widows either had real reason to need the protection or - disgustingly - were only using the widows for their own pleasure. Every once in a while she would come across someone who didn’t appear to have a reason for possessing a widow, but she didn’t try to dig too deeply into the psyche of those people. She was only there to free the women from their bondage, no matter the cost.
Their best bet for freeing the widow would either be to break into the businessman's residence in the middle of the night, or try and free her when an opportunity arose without warning. Maybe they would luck out and he would go out to dinner by himself.
When they returned to base they found a happy Natasha and an excited Kate, along with a free widow. As soon as Yelena and Manuel were back Kate launched into a retelling of freeing the widow. Somehow she and Natasha had worked out a plan that let Kate shoot the antidote just above the widow, setting the vial to explode at the perfect time. Once she’d been free it was easy to nab her in the chaotic moment they’d chosen.
Yelena hadn’t seen Kate that excited since before her mother died, and she was proud that they’d worked out a new way to free widows, a way that seemed to move Kate even further from the danger.
The next night Yelena and Manuel went through the same boring routine while Kate successfully freed their next widow using the same trick as before. It was both impressive and frustrating.
By the time Natasha and Kate had successfully freed their third widow, Yelena was ready to try anything. The sun rose late enough in Houston that if they caught their businessman and the widow leaving for the office, the darkness might hide an arrow. So on the sixth night Natasha and Kate joined them, hoping to make a plan.
It was just as long a night as the others, no movement coming from the businessman’s condo. As twilight neared, Yelena and Kate moved into position just around the corner from the entrance to the building, out of sight of the security cameras. Yelena knew the timing and was the ideal person to point out the shot to Kate. When Manuel notified them of their target’s descent, Yelena started the countdown so Kate could know exactly what to look for.
But as the countdown reached zero, Kate moved suddenly, pulling out one of the arrows with the antidote and aiming just above the door. “No, сука,” whispered Yelena, grabbing for Kate’s arm.
Kate shook her off, pushed her back, and hissed out a quiet, “Shhhh.”
Yelena couldn't see what happened next, but less than 15 seconds later, Kate jumped and took off down the street, the widow coming behind her so quickly that Yelena didn’t have time to prepare. As soon as she realized what was happening, she took off after them. The streets were beginning to fill with commuters and hindered them all equally, but still the widow gained on Kate, gun in hand.
Yelena reported in as quickly as she could, hoping that someone would have a miraculous plan to deal with her girlfriend’s stupidity. “Kate, head for the tunnels,” said one of the techs. “Yelena can head you off.” They quickly relayed directions and Yelena’s stomach lurched as Kate and the widow turned out of sight.
From the sounds filtering through the comms the tunnels were much emptier than the streets. Yelena hoped she’d be able to beat them to the building they’d chosen to rendezvous in. She wove through pedestrians and traffic, ears straining. Shots came, but Kate didn’t react, so Yelena tried not to worry.
Finally she made it to their chosen destination. The sounds of Kate and the widow running up the stairs came from all around her. Kate had just reached the top of the stairs when the widow tackled her from behind, slamming Kate’s head into the floor. Yelena jumped on her back, spraying the antidote quickly. The widow slumped and Yelena rolled off of her, springing to her feet. They were surrounded by curious onlookers, and she guessed it was only a matter of seconds before someone either started recording or called the police. Kate was still on the floor, coughing, and as Yelena leaned over to help her, she turned her head. Her nose was bleeding profusely, running down her chin. The widow started to whimper. Yelena grabbed both women by their wrists and headed back down into the tunnels.
Once they’d left the curious onlookers she pulled gauze from her pocket, the best option she had. In silence she tried to wipe most of the blood from Kate’s face, then shoving a wad into Kate’s hand to staunch the rest of the bleeding. They moved quickly and quietly through the tunnels, coming up a few blocks away in a parking garage where Smerdyakov was waiting with a car.
Back at the base she looked Kate over, trying to bite her tongue. Kate’s nose was definitely broken, but it wasn’t severe, so it could have been worse. It all could have been worse. “What were you thinking?” whispered Yelena.
“I had the shot,” said Kate defiantly, even as Yelena prodded her nose. “It’s the same thing Natasha and I have been doing.”
Yelena really did clench her jaw then, knowing that anything else she wanted to say would not be helpful. But she wanted to shake Kate for her recklessness.
Freeing the final widow only took them another three days. When Kate had gotten ready to go back out with Natasha, Yelena, and Manuel, Yelena had expressly forbidden her, telling her to take Smerdyakov’s place as their backup. Six months earlier she had considered Kate to be foolhardy, but since Eleanor’s death Kate had reached new extremes beyond fearlessness to a place that would get her killed.
----
On the flight back to New York Kate completely ignored Yelena. The bruising around her nose gave her haughty glare a new depth. When they got back to the city they all debriefed with Maria, before making arrangements for their newly freed widows. Kate ducked out as soon as they were all clear, Yelena getting caught up with the details of where the widows were headed.
When she left it was rush hour, the sidewalks packed with commuters. For the first time in too long Kate had escaped her notice and it made her uncomfortable. Trying to tamp down a simmering terror, she headed for the penthouse, hoping Kate was exactly where she was supposed to be.
The elevator door opened as Kate walked by. Yelena let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. Glancing over, Kate rolled her eyes. “Why are you here?” she asked, continuing past.
“I just wanted to check on my girlfriend. That is what we do, no?”
Kate spun around. “No, that’s not what we fucking do Yelena!”
“But-” Her stomach clenched. She wanted to tell Kate how much she cared about her, but Kate was already yelling again.
“-tired of being followed. You don’t trust me-”
“No! I am scared-”
“Scared of what? You don’t even let me do my job!”
“That is not true. You did your job in Texas-”
“And then you pulled me out for no reason.”
“I pulled you out because you are reckless.”
“I had that shot-”
“You should not have taken that shot without scouting-”
“It’s the same thing that Natasha and I had been doing to free the other widows. You don’t have any patience - it’s Yelena’s way or the highway.”
“I am just trying to keep you safe,” said Yelena, stepping towards Kate, hoping to explain herself. But Kate stepped back, her eyes widening. It brought Yelena back to the day - months before - when she’d pulled a knife from the block to cut vegetables for dinner and Kate had jumped. She was scared of Yelena.
She froze, but Kate continued on. “I don’t want to be safe, Yelena, I want to find out who killed my mother. I want to make them pay. I want to take down Kingpin. I just want this-” she gestured at the tears streaming down her face “-to go away.”
Yelena’s heart broke. All she wanted was to take care of Kate and somehow she wasn’t doing that, maybe didn’t even know how to do that. “Kate-”
“No,” said Kate, taking a deep breath. “Please, leave.”
A war battled inside Yelena. She didn’t know how they’d gotten to this place, but she wanted to take everything back, to try to explain to Kate how much she loved her, even if she didn’t know how to love Kate the way she deserved. But she’d lived too long without agency, and she wouldn’t take that from Kate, so she turned and got back on the elevator. When she glanced up as the door closed Kate was already gone.
By the time Yelena reached Park Ave. she was already in tears. The Red Room had molded her, tortured her, cut her apart and put her back together, but they had never let her love. And now she knew why. It was a weakness. She would do anything for Kate, even, apparently, leave.
Someone walking past glanced her way and she realized how exposed she was. Pulling her head down, she headed for the park.
As she wandered the paths, she thought about their relationship. Before they started dating Kate had annoyed her to no end. She’d considered her reckless, naive, young. But then Natasha had pointed out how irrational those feelings were, Yelena had tried to let them go so that she could be with Kate. But had she let them go? Or had they been festering under the surface the whole time, just waiting for Kate to make a mistake? Yelena clenched her fists, wishing for something to punch. So what if she’d just been waiting!? Even if they were together she was still allowed to be frustrated, no? A voice that sounded suspiciously like the therapist Maria made her see said, “No,” that she should’ve discussed her concerns with Kate.
The whole night passed that way, wandering the park, wondering what she could have done differently. It wasn’t until light filtered across the sky that she realized how long she’d been out. With the light came remorse. Yelena loved Kate so much and she hadn’t known how to be brave enough to say it. But now all she could think about was saying it, apologizing, telling Kate how much she adored her, trying to talk things through.
“Kate!” Yelena yelled as soon as the elevator door opened. The house was silent, her voice echoing faintly. “Kate, please - I am sorry.” She turned and headed towards the dining room to glance into the kitchen. It clearly hadn’t been used since the day before. If Kate had made dinner or breakfast there still would have been a mess. Walking to the other end of the house, Yelena looked in the living room. Empty.
Taking the stairs two at a time, Yelena dashed to Kate’s room. Also empty. So was the guest room, and Eleanor’s room. Panic gripped Yelena’s chest. “Kate! Милая where are you?” When she got back to Kate’s bedroom she stepped inside. Had someone taken Kate? Once Yelena walked into the room she could see all the things that were out of place. Kate’s phone was on the bedside table. Her Yankees cap was missing. When Yelena pulled open the closet, all of Kate’s gear, as well as some of her clothes, were missing. Ducking down, Yelena looked under the bed for the gun safe. It was open and empty. The knife Kate kept under her mattress was missing, too. The photograph of Kate and Eleanor that normally sat on the dresser was gone.
Pulling out her phone with shaking hands, Yelena hit call on her sister’s contact.
“Hello?”
“Kate is gone,” said Yelena, every word feeling like a gut punch.
“What? What do you mean she’s gone?”
“I mean she’s gone. She went after Kingpin.”
“What? No-” Yelena screamed, the sound ripping out of her, the pain and fear too much to bear. “-lena, Yelena! Meet me at the office. We’ll find her, Yelena.”
Yelena knew Natasha couldn’t commit to that. There might never be a way to find Kate ever again. Trying to stay focused, she scooped up Kate’s phone and began searching for her computer. It wasn’t in the bedroom, but she found it in the dining room where Kate had been working. Grabbing that, too, she headed for the office, hoping that Kate had left a trail.