Iron Man
When Tony woke up, he felt well rested and only a little hung over. He had gone to the bar with the other Avengers as a reward for a job well done stopping MODOK. With no small contribution on Tony’s part, they had successfully prevented the creepy, disproportioned evil doer from doing something evil. Tony couldn’t quite remember what MODOK had been doing. The briefing had been boring, and after having to sit through a days worth of boring meetings, he had felt perfectly justified dozing off. The Iron Man suit had autopilot, and it wasn’t like they had wanted Tony’s opinion. Well, they may have wanted his opinion on something, but he had been dozing, and had probably given them a half-assed answer at best. The point was, they had stopped MODOK and went out for drinks later. Even Coulson had joined them, though Tony suspected he had been there to babysit the Avengers as they slowly, or not slowly, got plastered on hard liquor and rainbow drinks. Of course, Captain America tried, as always, to get drunk, but it didn’t work. Tony actually felt bad for him. He may or may not be working on a way to bypass the fast metabolism and give the good Captain the opportunity to get drunk like the rest of them. Tony was a philanthropist after all.
And it was also due to his good and generous heart that he had met a charming young activist, for something or another, at the bar. She had been endearingly friendly, quick-witted, and had a body that Tony would have to be blind to miss. He had impressed her with his staggering intellect, vast wealth, and not so inconsiderable good looks, and by the early hours of the morning, Tony had whisked her away in one of his cars, he couldn’t be bothered to remember which one, and introduced her to his bedroom. She had bee quite the minx in bed, and Tony felt the twinges of last night’s activities as he stretched and rolled over. He yawned as he tried to figure out if the woman was going to be a problem, or if she would see it like he did; a really fun, drunken night of debauchery, not to be repeated again.
“Good morning, Stark.”
Tony sighed at the smug tone.
“Morning, Loki,” he greeted, all to aware that he wasn’t as surprised as he should be.
The sounds of the morning slowly filtered into his room, making Tony reluctant to get up, even though he was sharing his very personal space with the Norse god of mischief. Besides, Loki seemed fairly content to laze about as well. It would have been rude for Tony to kick him out of bed this early.
“So how many times does this make now?” Tony asked as he fluffed his pillow.
“I have lost count,” Loki replied. “But it still remains enjoyable.”
“Not arguing about that,” he said.
Despite what Loki said, Tony knew they both kept a mental tally. The number was absurdly high. Tony didn’t know when Loki decided trolling his love life was a new hobby, only that ever since Loki gave up trying to destroy and subjugate the world, Tony had been getting lucky with alarming frequency. Not that he was complaining. Frustrating as it could be, Tony did find it sort of fun to try and figure out if the woman he took home with him would be Loki. He liked challenges, and Loki made it very challenging. It was why he continued to flirt and pick up any interested woman with slightly suspicious motives. Actually, in some ways, Tony like that most women he picked up would be Loki. It made less work for Pepper since Loki wasn’t interested in his money or name.
And when he thought about Pepper, he was a little sad it didn’t work out, what with their business relationship interfering as well. Now that Tony was focused on that thought, he realized that was around the first time he was tricked by Loki. Tony slapped his head, regretting the action instantly since he apparently had more of a hangover than he thought.
“If you wish to be struck, I would be more than pleased to do it to you,” Loki mumbled into his pillow.
“We’ll have to explore that kink next time,” Tony said, genuinely curious now. “But it’s about time I got up.”
He heard a snort of amusement from Loki, who cracked open an eye and silently challenged Tony to follow through. Just to prove that he wasn’t so predictable, Tony was determined to get out of bed. Unfortunately, his bed happened to be very comfortable, and Loki must have cast some spell to make Tony too lazy to move, otherwise, he would have totally been up and moving already.
“Amazing effort you put in there, Stark,” Loki observed.
“Shut up,” Tony shot back.
Loki chuckeld and sat up. Tony watched lazily as Loki looked around the room, probably looking for his clothing. Leaning over the bed, Loki dragged what used to be a shirt off the floor.
“A bit zealous, hm?” Loki mused as he held up the torn and button-less blouse.
“Red isn’t your color,” Tony replied. “I did you a favor destroying it. It looked better on the floor.”
It was too early in the morning for Tony to guess what the arched eyebrow meant. With Loki, it could range from amusement to I’m-going-to-rend-your-entrails-upon-the-earth. Tony hoped it wasn’t the latter. His armor was too far away. But really, Tony didn’t care at the moment, and since Loki made no move to rend Tony’s entrails any place other than where they liked to stay, he counted it was a success.
“Your general opinion of clothing always involves the floor,” Loki said casually.
Tony shrugged. He wouldn’t deny it. Loki rolled his eyes at him as eh stood up. Tony was always fascinated whenever Loki used his magic. He wanted to understand the underlying logic behind it. There ahd to be some sort of science at work, and he was determined to figure it out one day; being able to wave clothing into existence sounded really convenient. There was so much more he could do in a day if he didn’t have to spend so much time repeatedly getting dressed.
“You need no more excused to be even more of a philanderer than you already are,” Loki dryly observed.
Apparently, Tony had voiced that thought aloud.
“Am I really a philanderer if I’m doing it with the same person?” he challenged.
It was an old argument he had with just about every Avenger and SHIELD executive. They only one he never brought it up with was Thor. Tony didn’t think he could handle seeing the kicked puppy look Thor always wore whenever he was told that Loki tricking Tony into pseudo-monogamy didn’t mean they were in a relationship, let alone marriage.
“You do not think you are bedding the same person,” Loki countered.
“So you say it’s my state of mind,” Tony concluded.
“I have no desire to comment on your state of mind,” Loki smirked as eh walked by. “And do mind your head this morning.”
Sometimes, though a lot of time with Loki, Tony had no idea what he was supposed to do about cryptic advice, threats, etc. before noon. He simply waved Loki out of the room, readjusting his position so he was reclining on his back.
He heard Loki greet whoever was banging around in the kitchen, and what did that say about the Avengers if nobody was surprised to see Loki in the morning at their house. Thor’s loud greeting echoed down the hall while a quieter voice, Clint by the sounds of it, invited Loki to join them for breakfast, which was beginning to sound really good about now.
And speaking of sound, Tony realized he heard something crawling next to his head. Frowning, he slowly turned his head to find a pair of black, beady eyes glinting in the morning light. Before his sluggish mind could process what this meant, an ear piercing, warbling scream jerked Tony into wakefulness. In his surprise, he slammed his head into the headboard. Holding the tender spot with one hand, he used the other to snatch the ferret by the scruff of its neck.
“Ha! You little bite-y bastard,” Tony preened, sticking his face up close. “Let’s see you get me now.”
Phil the ferret regarded him with devious eyes.
“Now, I’m going to…THE HELL?!” Tony shouted as a giant, invisible cloud of pungent musk hit his face.
The smell made him gag, dropping Phil as he tried to get the horrible smell out of his nose, and saints help him, his mouth. Tony really hated Phil. Not only was it determined to make his life hell and named after the most annoying SHIELD agent ever, the little weasel was a perfect angel with everybody else. He was beginning to think Loki had been considering him instead of Clint when he gave the ferret as a gift.
“LOKI!”