Oh.
Well this is awkward.
Ava stands next to Beatrice in a small apartment room, staring at the dingy old bed in front of them. It’s a cool Switzerland summer night, faint music playing from a bar somewhere out in the streets below. It’s the perfect evening for a drink, a late night out with friends, but Ava’s legs hurt too much to walk. She and Beatrice have just arrived in the Alps, and unfortunately the cheapest and closest apartment was… this place. Too excited at the prospect of finally having a proper bed to sleep in, they had both failed to consider that a single room really meant a room for a single person. So… one bed. Hence the awkwardness. There’s nothing particularly special about the lone twin sized bed, with its dust coated pillow and moth bitten covers. But considering that this room was the only one left in the old building, that Ava and Beatrice didn’t really have anywhere else to go, Ava finds herself turning a little red next to Beatrice, who gazes at the bed with some mixture of shock and disdain. The awkward silence hovers over them, Ava pressing her lips together and shifting weight from foot to foot nervously. After a few more moments, Ava decides to say something. One of them has to, after all. But just as she begins to open her mouth, no clear idea of whatever the fuck she’s going to say, Beatrice speaks first.
“I’ll sleep on the floor.” Her voice is a little choked up, matched perfectly by the faint blush that has spread across her cheeks and wide eyes. Ava’s pretty sure that’s what she looks like as well. She’d be a liar if she said her brain hadn’t gone a little crazy at the immediate thought of having to share a bed with Beatrice. Her heart had skipped a little more excitedly than she would’ve liked to admit. Still, she musters her voice to reply.
“Are you sure? You can take the bed if you’d like.” She offers, though the idea of sleeping in a bed after the long flight and even longer walk to the apartment appeals to her a whole lot.
Or we could share.
Ava nearly combusts at the thought. God, she feels like a hopeless high schooler with a crush. To be fair, she’d never really gone to high school so maybe god or whoever could forgive the guilty pleasure her imagination had wandered off to. And in her defense, Beatrice is cool and smart and beautiful and really strong and her voice is—
“It’s fine.” Beatrice says, interrupting Ava’s embarrassing daydreams that flush her cheeks somehow even brighter. Beatrice finds some extra blankets in a closet, and Ava watches in exhausted silence as she settles down on the hardwood floor, untying her hair so it spills over her shoulders. And god, Ava feels her heart skip a beat or two because she’s so goddamn beautiful. It shows when she smiles, when she frowns, when she cries and glares and bleeds. It shows through her gentle touch and comforting words, reflected in her flashing dark eyes and dimples. Ava doesn’t get to see Beatrice with her hair down often, but she often finds herself drifting into her own head giddily at the sight.
“What?” Beatrice asks, no doubt noticing Ava staring silently from the bed. Ava lets out a little sigh, maybe an amused grunt, removing her hands from under her chin to rest in her lap and sitting up straighter to lock eyes with Beatrice.
“Nothing. You just look nice with your hair down.” She says with a smile, watching Bea fiddle with her fingers sheepishly at the comment.
“Oh. Thanks.” Neither of them say something for a few moments after that, Ava keeping her eyes on Beatrice, absorbed in her thoughts, and Beatrice fiddling with the blankets.
“We should— we should turn off the lights,” Beatrice says finally, her voice a sharp break through the soft silence. Ava nods, nods again, letting out a faint acknowledgement. The light clicks off, and Ava settles into the bed, briefly dusting off, well, dust from the scrawny pillow. They lay in silence, for a few quiet minutes, and after that Ava can’t help herself from turning to watch Bea. Creepy? Maybe. But god she looks beautiful when she’s sleeping. Her eyelids flicker slightly at a breeze that sneaks through the window, stray strands of hair resting on her face. Ava smiles at the way her nose twitches after a hair brushes past it. She looks like a princess, really, with her hair splayed around her face, and Ava is struck with the sudden urge to reach over and kiss her forehead. Which is dumb of course, because that’s super fucking creepy and Beatrice would totally freak out and honestly what the hell was she thinking? Beatrice would be grossed out, the rational part of her brain tells her. But she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t occasionally noticed the wistful glances from the other girl toward Ava, the slight brushes of hands that made them both turn a little red. She’d be lying if she hadn’t started to suspect, hoping that maybe, maybe, maybe Bea felt something for Ava the way she did for her. Her eyes, against her will, wander back to Beatrice just as a strong wind blows through the window, chilling Ava to the bone despite the heavy blanket. Beatrice shudders, and for the first time Ava notices how thin the blankets she sleeps on are, and guilt washes over her like the tide, leaving her drenched. She quietly gets out of bed, walking over to the window that makes a dangerously loud creaking noise of old wood against rusted metal, slowly pushing it closed. Still the cold air lingers in the room like an old ghost, a whisper of a chill presumably not going away anytime soon. Behind her, Beatrice shudders again, curling up subconsciously as a response to the cold. Ava leaves behind her dignity and gives in. It takes some strength, but Ava manages to haul a conked out Beatrice onto the bed, miraculously not waking her. As soon as her head hits the pillow, Beatrice tucks the blanket into her chest, grabbing much more than she could possibly need.
“Blanket hog.” Ava murmurs, but the sight of Beatrice nuzzling her head into the pillow like a kitten (Beatrice would kill her for calling her that) melts her heart. Ava climbs into the bed after her, snatching some blanket back and shifting to face Beatrice, and oh god, she’s so close Ava nearly stops breathing. Beatrice’s eyelids flutter slightly like the wings of a butterfly, and for a tense moment Ava thinks she’ll wake up and aikido Ava out of surprise and (hopefully not) anger. She wouldn’t put it past her. But the moment escapes into the night, and Ava is left face to face with a thankfully fast asleep Beatrice. Beatrice’s warm breath brushes Ava’s lips, and Ava feels her chest light up with a feeling that’s definitely not in the friendship category. She falls asleep staring at Beatrice, wondering about a reality where Beatrice stares at her back.
~
Beatrice wakes up considerably warmer than when she fell asleep. Light dances across her eyelids, and they open slowly to the blurry reality around her. The blanket she’s wrapped in is certainly heavier than the thin, dingy blanket (that might’ve even been a towel) was when she had gone to bed on the floor the night before. She looks down, realizing slowly that this was in fact not the same blanket. Instead, it was the one she’d let Ava have in the bed. What’s more, she was pretty sure she was in the bed.
What?
Beatrice nearly jumps as a warm breath glides over her stale lips, leading straight back to Ava. Ava. Ava is asleep not a foot away from Beatrice, facing her. A small yelp escapes her lips, sitting straight up and scrambling out of the bed. She takes a step back, steadying her breath. Somehow, sometime during the night Beatrice had ended up in the bed. With Ava. Red flushes her cheeks, her heart speeding up again. God, she hopes she didn’t do anything mortifyingly embarrassing. Her teeth bite into her lower lip, trying to shock herself out of the thought of spending the entire night next to Ava, like they were… a couple or something. Which definitely doesn’t appeal to her. Sure, she’s been a bit protective, but that’s her job. To protect the warrior nun. Who happens to be Ava. Ava with her smile brighter than the sun, her playful demeanor that always cheers Beatrice up.
Don’t go soft on her.
It didn’t matter that she’d been captivated by Ava since she’d sat next to her in the cafeteria, it didn't matter that every moment spent with her since brought more joy than every year before combined. Ava is not just Ava, she’s the warrior nun. The last thing she needs is… emotional connections holding her back. Beatrice feels her mother’s voice chiding her, telling her she’s being idiotic, and for once she agrees. Beatrice manages to distract herself by making coffee, finding two old mugs in a cabinet that smell strange. She washes them, filling the mugs and trying to ignore the fact that she knows exactly how Ava takes her coffee (one cream two sugars, as opposed to Beatrice’s preferred black). Ava stumbles into the kitchen a few minutes later, taking her coffee gratefully and smiling that goddamn beautiful smile of hers.
“Sleep well?” She asks cheerfully, and Beatrice wonders how on heaven and earth she can act so normal about it. Beatrice nods, pressing her lips together.
“Better than I would’ve on the floor” She comments, trying to bring up the subject slowly. Ava stops mid-sip, setting her coffee down and casually shifts closer to Beatrice on the other side of the kitchen island, cup clasped between her hands.
“Oh, yeah. Sorry, I just thought you could keep each other warm.” She says brightly, flashing a playful grin at Beatrice in typical Ava fashion. Beatrice nods again, reassuring herself more than Ava when she says;
“Right, of course.” She clears her throat, shouldering her bag and heading for the door.
“Where are you going?” Ava asks, voice still groggy from waking not five minutes ago.
“To look for a job. We’ll be here a while.” Beatrice replies. “Stay here,” she adds warningly, shooting a pointed glance at Ava.
“Aw, can’t I come with you?” Ava pouts, flashing her big eyes. Beatrice turns away, embarrassed she knows she can’t resist Ava if she maintains eye contact.
“No. Adriel’s followers are everywhere, we can’t risk you going out.” She says firmly.
“What, so I’m supposed to stay cooped up in here forever?” Ava shoots back, voice no longer playful. More angry now, and Beatrice musters her strength to resist giving in to her.
“You can come out after I get us a secure position here.” She says, coldly as she can.
“You’re ridiculous! You can’t expect me to wait forever. I was trapped in a bed my entire life and you want to stay here in this dump?!” Beatrice swivels around, and there Ava is standing with her fists clenched, hair disheveled and angry.
“I’m doing what’s best for you!” She exclaims, throwing her arm to the side.
“Me or the mission?” Ava asks, posture receding the tiniest bit.
“Both!” And it is, it is both, no matter if some quiet voice tells her she is doing it for Ava, would do it again for her, over and over and over.
“FINE!” Ava yells, throwing her hands up angrily and stalking back into the bedroom. Beatrice ignores the guilt in her stomach, shouting after her.
“You’re being difficult!” Something sounding like a muffled fuck off sounds from the bedroom, and Beatrice rolls her eyes and leaves.
~
It’s late when Beatrice returns to the apartment, bearing take out food. She’d spent the day mulling over their argument, trying to convince herself that she was right in this situation, but guilt had caught up to her, breaking her strong insistence to herself that Ava was just being a child.
“Ava? I’m sorry.” She calls out, closing the door behind her. No response, and Beatrice wonders if she’s being ignored as she sets the plastic bag on the counter.
“Look,” Beatrice sighs, sitting down on the counter, loud enough for Ava to hear in the other room. “I’m sorry, I really am. I just… I want you to be safe. I can’t… I can’t lose you.” The last part comes out barely a whisper, but Beatrice has no doubt Ava can hear her. She sighs again, picking herself and her emotional baggage up and peeking into the bedroom. Ava lays there on the bed, fast asleep. Beatrice smiles, letting out a soft chuckle.
Beatrice sleeps in the bed again that night, comforted by the warmth shared between them and the lingering feeling that, for now at least, things would be okay.
(Ava was awake. She doesn’t tell Beatrice this, but some silent mutual understanding hovers between them the next morning. They sleep in the bed together the next night.)