With the devil on my shoulder

Piper looked at herself once more in the mirror; she was mostly fine, physically at least, and she’d had to shove Jason out of her cabin to stop him from fussing over her. She had a thin scar across her throat, a small mark from having her own dagger placed against her skin. That had been---well it had been terrifying, not just the physical aspect of having a blade at her throat. For better or for worse, she could confidently say that most demigods wouldn’t bat an eye to that kind of thing. No, it was something else that had terrified her.

It was the loss of control. It was the feeling of having her own limbs turned against her by that fucking necklace. To be turned into a prisoner in her own body. It terrified Piper, and it made her sick.

Was this what her charmspeak felt like? She hadn’t really thought of it like that before. She had always seen her charmspeak as her one gift from Aphrodite, her one small consolation prize for a childhood of neglect spent wandering the echoing hallways of her dad's mansions. But now it suddenly felt dirty. Now she knew what it felt like to have her autonomy stripped away from her and she thought back to every person she’d ever used her powers on and wondered how they felt, to have their minds twisted by her words and their will stripped away from them.

It felt wrong…

Suddenly, there was a knock at her door. Piper looked up and sighed. If this was Jason again, she was going to be just a little annoyed. She stood up, reached out, opening the door, and was greeted by……Annabeth.

"Uh hi?."

Piper stared at the other girl. Annabeth was standing there awkwardly, fiddling with her hands; it was a far cry from the usual confident aura she projected. Piper also noticed she wasn’t wearing her scythe pendant, instead, she wore a white dove-shaped pendant, Piper was certain she had seen another one like it before.

Piper tilted her head. "Um, yea?"

The other girl stepped into the room. "Um I uh wanted to check in on you, just make sure you're ok and everything."

Piper smiled and rolled her eyes. "I think you're going to have to get in line, I’ve been visited by Bianca twice, Percy four times, and I'm pretty sure that Jason might be hiding out there in the hall."

Annabeth nodded a small smile on her face. "Yea, it's in their nature to worry about those they care about."

Piper tilted her head; this would probably end badly, but her curiosity pulled her forward. "What about you? Do you ever worry? I mean, I have to presume there are people you care about."

The silver haired girl looked up, her eyes were resolute and serious, but a sadness lurked under their grey pools. "Every day, I know the gods and Chiron have probably told you that I’m an apathetic monster, but there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t worry about the people I care about."

Piper nodded, emotions had never been her strong suit, which is sad as a child of the goddess of love, but a childhood of emotional neglect will do that to you. "Seems odd, considering everything you did."

Annabeth chuckled sadly. "I wouldn’t expect you to understand just yet. Your still new to our world, Piper, but you’ll understand, just give it some time." She said the last with a tone of sad inevitability that put Piper on edge.

Piper frowned, not entirely convinced. "So why are you here, Annabeth? Not that your company isn’t enjoyable; it's just that long heart to heart chats don’t exactly seem like your cup of tea."

Annabeth suddenly looked extremely insecure, which was an odd look for the usually calm and confident daughter of Athena. She fiddled with her hands slightly.

"I uh, I need to ask a favour."

Piper raised a brow. "You want to ask a favour of me?"

"yea?"

Well, this just got weird…

She frowned, "Sure? What kind of favour? As long as it dosent involve world dominantion or any of your other pastimes."

Annabeth grinned. "Yea, don’t worry, its nothing to do with that, its just that well, ive been having trouble sleeping." She played with her necklace, looking uncomfortable. "I was wondering if you could maybe use your charmspeak to help me sleep."

Ah great, how does she explain that she’s having second thoughts about her powers entirely. She wondered if Annabeth would understand her aversion to her godly powers, Piper didn’t really know if Annabeth had any powers of her own, but her dislike of anything remotely godly was well known, so maybe she would understand?

"I um, I’m not really sure if I’m comfortable using my powers like that."

Annabeth tilted her head like an owl, her eyes large and unblinking. "Why? You didn’t seem to have a problem using them before."

Piper sighed. "The necklace of Harmonia, I got to feel what It felt like to be controlled against my will, and well, it terrified me" she looked down. "Im not really sure if I want to use that kind of power, not against another person." She looked up at the grey-eyed girl. "I don’t really expect you to understand; it's, its uh complicated."

Surprisingly, instead of admonishing her for her weakness, Annabeth instead smiled. "I understand." She walked over, sitting on the bed next to Piper, it was a strangely intimate gesture, not something Piper expected from the cackling girl from the prison.

Annabeth sighed. "You know, during the war I met all kinds of demigods who were afraid of the powers, ashamed of them, disgusted by them even. Children of Hecate scared to cast spells because they might lose control, children of Athena, scared to use their telepathy because it seems violating, children of Hephaestus terrified by the fire just under their skin." Annabeth looked up at Piper, her eyes open and calm. ‘Children of Aphrodite scared of their own words." She gazed upwards a wistful look on her face. "Some of them were ashamed because they were powers of the gods, a physical link back to the parents that had treated them so terribly." Piper felt herself almost fascinated by how Annabeth crafted words.

The daughter of wisdom continued. "But I told them the same thing I’m telling you now," she looked straight into Piper’s eyes. "These powers are a part of us. Being ashamed or scared of them makes no more sense than being scared of your own arm or leg, and yes they have great potential for danger, but so does every part of us, we're demigods, practically built to be dangerous. What matters isn’t their potential for danger, what matters is who wields them. Now I wont pretend to know you, Piper, but from what I’ve seen, you aren’t the kind of person to misuse your powers, not like Kyknos at least."

Piper felt a warmth and certainty begin to fill her body. Annabeth continued, "These powers are a part of you, and you are a good person Piper, so I think we can all trust you to use them for the right cause."

Piper didn’t really know what she was doing, but suddenly she surged forward, wrapping the smaller girl into a hug. "Thank you." She whispered.

Annabeth smiled. "Now, do you reckon you’ll be able to help me out."

Piper nodded, and Annabeth laid down on the bed.

"𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱"

The silver haired girl's eyes began to flutter shut, and a look of calmness descended onto her face. Slowly her breathing evened out, and she drifted to sleep. She looked so different than her usual self, so much more peaceful, and Piper couldnt help the small smile that found its way onto her face.