Ava sighed as she sat down on the steps in front of the court building in L.A it has been 4 months since she had seen or heard from Deborah after the night on the rooftop, but here she was sat in front of the courts, waiting to go in for her case, she took a long slow drag on her vape and exhaled. Better than smoking right, she thought to herself. She was nervous about seeing the blonde again, worried about how to greet her, what to say. She knew she was angry at the lack of contact, but she understood now, why she needed that. Why Deborah had walked away. Ava had needed to grow on her own and in a short few months, she had started to grieve for her father properly and started to think about her own future and needs. She took another drag and chucked the vape into her bag. She was wearing a smart pant black suit. She was going to be in court after all and needed to look respectable, she still had her clumpy boots on though. She couldn’t believe that she was still being sued. Deborah kept her word, Ava thought as she stood up and slowly made her way up the stone steps towards the court building. She made her way through security and was now walking towards the room she was told to go to meet her lawyer and Jimmy.
However, as she made her way up the staircase, she spotted a familiar face. A frown now formed on her brow and concern grew. A feeling of an unease grew in the pit of her stomach, as she walked towards the person.
‘Hi.’ She said smiling. Her gaze not meeting theirs, as she looked around. ‘Why are you, here Marcus?’ her mouth went dry, and she licked her lips nervously.
‘Hi Ava, I’m here for the hearing.’ He went to reach out to touch her arm, but she pulled back, confused.
‘Deb?’
‘Look Ava, she isn’t coming…she’s at home.’ Marcus looked uneasy. ‘Sorry.’
‘Vegas?’
‘No, she is here, in L.A. She is back at the house.’ He shrugged.
‘Marcus, she said…’
‘She said what?’
She shook her head, ‘We’d see each other.’ Tears started to gather in her eyes and Marcus didn’t know what to say, but he questioned what she meant.
‘Here, whilst she is suing you…’
‘Yeah, about that…’ Ava laughed, ‘I thought maybe…’ she stopped as her eyes glimpsed someone moving away from the opposite end of the corridor, they were standing in.
‘Are you sure she is at home?’ She said suddenly, throwing Marcus of this train of thought.
‘Yeah, why?’ he looked over his shoulder and he too now noticed the blonde walking away quickly. ‘What is she playing at?’ He suddenly snapped. ‘Ava, she refused to get in the car this morning, she refused to come, but yeah that is her…running away, by the looks of things…’
‘Fucking brilliant!’ Ava sighed. ‘I’m finding out what she is doing Marcus.’ Just as she was about to follow her out the court building. Jimmy appeared from one of the rooms, with Ava’s lawyer, Samantha. They rushed over to Marcus and Ava, Jimmy was grinning.
‘Fantastic news Ava, Deb has instructor her lawyers to drop the case. She isn’t suing you.’ He went to hug her congratulations, but she stepped away. ‘Have I missed something? Why aren’t you smiling, she isn’t suing your ass, she won’t be bankrupting you today.’ Jimmy grinned.
‘Jimmy’s correct Miss Daniels. The case is over.’ the lawyer added happily, confirming the news.
‘Because she is doing it again. That damned woman is pushing me away.’ Ava snapped, angry at Deborah for taking her opportunity away to speak to her or even see her probably for a few minutes. Instead, she had flounced off, looking like she was trying to get out of the building as quickly as she could.
‘Ava?’ Jimmy warned, ‘You can’t force a friendship with someone.’
‘I am not doing that…Marcus…you saw her…’ she turned to him, wanting some back up, some support for what she was getting at.
Marcus groaned, ‘Yes I did, and I saw what she was like this morning…’ he rubbed his forehead. He had a headache coming on.
‘If I was you, I’d go after her.’ He sighed. ‘Have it out with her for once and for all. Because I honestly don’t want to be in the middle anymore. This was such a waste of everyone’s time.’
‘Thanks Marcus. Jimmy pleasure as always. Samantha thanks for all that…well all that lawyering.’ She winked and quickly ran off, following the direction in which Deborah had gone.
‘Was that a good idea?’ Jimmy suddenly asked, as he shook his head, concerned.
‘I don’t know, but I am done. Today was a joke. Deb wasn’t meant to be here. She refused to drive over with me, so God knows what she is playing at.’
‘Won’t she make this worse. Make Deborah worse?’ Jimmy looked panicked.
‘Jimmy, you’ve seen her, she has been a nightmare and she is struggling with the new special. Just let them have it out… it’s got to come to ahead at some point. Anyway, we are both busy people. If this circus is over, let’s get out of here.’
Meanwhile already out of breath rushing after Deborah, Ava called out as they got outside and were at the top of the stone steps out the front of the building. Deborah was wearing shades and had her head down hoping no one would notice her as she walked away from the court building, over to where a stopped car and driver were already waiting for her.
‘D?’ Ava called out, wanting to stop her from jumping into the car.
‘DEB!?’ she called out, once more. Trying to get her attention, Ava grumbled to herself. ‘Stubborn bitch.’
‘VANCE.’ She called out in a final attempt to get her attention as she ran down the steps. Breathless. Man, she really needed to exercise more.
Pissed that she had used her second name, Deborah swung around to look up at her.
‘You little brat!’ she spat.
‘Nice to see you too.’ Ava called out; people were starting to look over to them now. It really wasn’t the attention either of them wanted. As Ava got close to where Deborah stood, she watched as Deborah turned around and reach out to the car door opening it.
‘Don’t you dare lady!’ Ava spoke firmly, as she almost reached her. ‘Don’t leave me here!’
Deborah could feel the tears starting to form behind her shades and she swallowed thickly.
Her hand was already on the door, she opened it quickly and before she knew it, she was sat in the back of the car. Ava ran towards it, without thinking she stepped out in front of the car, resting both her hands on the car bonnet. Looking squarely in the eye of the driver.
‘Miss Vance, you have a crazy fan stalking you.’ He said panicked.
‘Don’t worry, she’s no fan…she’ll move. Drive!’ she said unfazed.
‘No, Miss Vance…the girl…she’s crying.’
Deborah looked up and out the front glass, seeing that the girl’s tears were dripping down onto the car. She could also see people reaching for their cell phones to take videos.
‘Tell her to get in.’ she huffed impatiently.
The driver placed his head out the window and shouted out. Ava quickly grabbed her bag around her shoulder and raced around the side of the car, hoping it wasn’t some trick to get her to move. She hurried over to the back passenger seat next to Deborah. She opened the door and slid in forcefully.
‘What is wrong with you? You have a death wish?’ Deborah said sourly.
‘Maybe…when it comes to you.’ She bites out cruelly. She wiped at her face with the back of her hands, exacerbating Deborah.
‘Oh, for Pete’s sake, use a tissue like a fucking adult!’ she snapped meanly.
‘Why are you being so atrocious, why did you break your word? Why did you drop the case.’
Deborah turned to the driver, ‘Please will you just drive. Take us home.’
‘Yes Miss Vance.’ They pulled away from the front of the building.
‘So, I’m atrocious, for not taking all your money…’ Deborah pursed her lips together tightly.
‘I just mean…you said…’ Ava looks at her like a lost child.
‘I said what Ava! I said what?’ Deborah continued, ‘I told you to go and climb your own mountain. Yet you have text and rang, and you have not left it alone.’
‘You didn’t answer any of it…’ Ava laughs bitterly. ‘I can do both. We could be friends.’
‘I can not be friends with you Ava, can you not see that?’ Deborah pressed a button on the car and a privacy screen comes up. She pulled off her shades to show Ava her smudged make-up from her own tears.
‘I missed you D.’ Ava smiles as she sees this. She reached out taking Deborah’s hand into hers. Rubbing the back of her hand with her thumb.
‘I was trying to save you Ava.’ She says quietly.
‘Save me? From what?’
‘Me…from being all consumed by this.’ She turned away, staring out the window, she doesn’t let go of Ava’s hand.
‘You are so young… you have a lifetime…I do not.’ She swallowed.
‘I don’t know what you mean?’ Ava says sadly. ‘We talked about this. 109.’ She laughs. ‘No one makes it out this life alive D. Did you see how out of breath I was chasing you. You’ll outlive me.’
‘Jesus Christ!’ Deborah snaps, she yanks her hand away. ‘What do you want from me Ava?’
‘An apology for pushing me away and you to admit you did. That you did push me away because you were scared.’
Ava twisted herself to face Deborah better. She needed to see her, to see her reaction.
‘And what am I mean to be so scared of? You know what I’ve dealt with, and you think you have made such an impact on my dammed life, that you scare me. Honey, you mean nothing…I just don’t need your money that badly. When we stop you can get out!’
‘D?’
Deborah can’t look at her, she is crying, and she knows Ava knows this.
‘Don’t do this, don’t be such a bitch!’ Ava is begging.
‘And you are meant to be the enlightened generation, Gen Z, thought it was all about being kind!’ she sneers.
‘Oh, she finally fucking gets it.’
Deborah swings her head back around sharply to look at her. Tears running down her face. ‘I always got it honey. You are a child.’
‘Fuck! No! I am not.’ She shakes her head defiant, ‘You are acting like one though!’
Ava raises her hand slowly and holds a lingering look at Deborah who doesn’t pull away. Her hand gently touches her cheek, and she rubs with her thumb once more, now wiping the tears. She cups her hand around her face, tender.
‘Let me stay.’
‘I’ve hurt you.’
‘You made me look at myself. I have had time to properly think about this. I don’t want this to be over. I don’t want to waste any more time.’
‘I should have taken your calls, answered your texts.’
‘We can work on that.’ Ava smiles. ‘I am sure of this D.’
‘I need help…’
‘With what?’ Ava looked at her confused. Her hand still holding her face in her hand, Deborah leans into it and rubs her cheek against the warmth of her palm.
‘The special…I can’t write.’ Ava chuckles at this softly. ‘I have never not been able to write, not even after Frank.’ Ava’s eyes go wide, and she is stunned by what she is saying.
‘I…?’ Ava goes to speak, but Deborah cuts her off.
‘You…you did this…will you work with me again?’ she looks up at her, her eyes boring into her.
Ava withdraws her hand, and stares at Deborah dumbfounded.
‘Mistakes happen, and me asking you to leave was a huge one.’
Ava knows that isn’t strictly true, that the time to grieve, the time to reflect as truly helped her. She knows she missed Deborah like crazy, she knows that it hurt. However, she doesn’t want her thinking that whole distance was the biggest mistake she had made. If anything, it was her ignoring her when she needed her so much, that was what hurt. Not the distance, but the silence. Also, she was still a little annoyed that she didn’t stop the court case sooner, when she thought about it. She thought she was going to lose everything. That was cruelty for cruelty’s sake. She also hopes it has given Deborah time to confront her own demons about who she really is. That she is no longer needing to hide what she desires. She needs to tell her how she feels, and she doesn’t want her to bolt or to kick her out of a moving car.
‘No…the way you handled it was, I needed time. It’s ok. Us being a part it was better for me, but now…being with you, that is what will be better for me, for us. Do you understand D?’
Deborah doesn’t speak. She suddenly feels flustered, hot and uncomfortable in the back of the car.
‘I know, we won’t be the same now…but, D, let me love you? Please?’ Ava’s eyes sparkle with hope.
Deborah looked away. Raises her own hand to her mouth, thinking. She is breaths heavily. She touched her lip with her fingers, gently brushing against them.
‘I haven’t got this wrong, I know I haven’t.’ Ava spoke again, determined. ‘Look at me.’
Deborah doesn’t move. Ava reached back out, touching Deborah softly, running her finger down her cheek. ‘You are stunning D.’ Deborah drops her own hand away from her lips.
‘You are nuts.’ She laughs. Her head turned; eyes locked onto Ava. She nods once.
Ava grins. Moving forward, she touched her lips onto Deborah’s delicately. Kissing softly. Lovingly. With relief. She starts to laugh, tears running down her face freely once more.
Deborah responds in kind, gently kissing her back, with so much softness it breaks Ava, who starts to sob harder.
Deborah worries for a moment that, Ava is realising she doesn’t really want this, but her fears are quashed as she hears Ava speak so quietly, she almost misses the confession.
Ava whispers ‘I’ll always look after you Deb. I’ll always love you.’
She didn’t want her to feel that this was going to be a one-way thing, that she was going to have to do all the heavy lifting in the relationship. Reassuring her was so important to Deborah that she breaks away to speak seriously.
‘If anyone is doing the looking after around here, it’s me!’ Deborah smiles.
Ava’s eyes are watery, but she is grinning. When Deborah finally responds. It takes courage for her to do it, but she knows how she feels, ‘I love you too, Honey.’
Deborah leans in this time and they start to kiss again. Driving through L.A to Deborah’s house. She thinks to herself, better take the damned thing of the market. She knew they would be in L.A a lot more often now.