Chapter 31
It had been four days.
Tony hadn´t deigned going out of his penthouse, and Jarvis kept the doors locked at all times.
No one noticed at first. They were all busy mourning Thor, each in their own way. Steve went through sandbag after sandbag at the gym. Bruce went down to the lab and watched a Tesla sphere for hours. Natasha seemed unaffected, but Clint saw her bite her lip so often that he knew it was all a façade. He pretended not to notice in the same way he pretended she didn´t see him up at night, with his eyes open and just looking at the ceiling.
When they did notice, they figured it was only natural. Understandable. It was also an implicit agreement that barging in to yell `I told you so´ in his face would be of poor taste. It was only by the end of the second week that they decided to send Pepper in.
Jarvis let her in without a word.
--
"It´s not like I´m surprised, you know? Were his welcoming words. Pepper waited patiently, and then grabbed a seat next to him as it became obvious that she was expected to do so.
"I knew he´d pull out something like this." He started again, and Pepper was as surprised she didn´t smell alcohol in his breath as she was enraged about the absolute resignation in his voice. "I knew it would happen. Makes one wonder where Thor got that blind faith from."
This wasn´t her Tony.
"You couldn´t have known."
"Thing is, I could and I did. Ironically, he never lied to me about that." He shot her a glare, as if she could somehow be made responsible for Loki´s betrayal. "You can have fun with me, but in the end you don´t stop life and ask Tony Stark to play house with you because I won´t. And he won´t, either, so I never had too much hope for that." He shook his head.
"I... Don´t know what to say. Where do you think he went?"
He shrugged, and only then did Pepper notice the glass ball he rolled back and forth in his hands.
"Not back to Asgard, that much is sure. For all I know he could be out there, killing elves or dwarves in one of his branches."
"Tony, I..."
He rose from the couch.
"I´m fine, Peps."
"Come out. We´re all worried."
"There´s nothing to be worried about. Nothing. That´s all there ever was to it."
--
It took Tony another three days to join his team in the communitarian levels of the tower, and it had more to do with keeping them from breaking into his floor than actual desire to do so.
He pretended he didn´t see their pitying looks whenever they thought he couldn´t see them. He was too tired. Nodded absently whenever Steve attempted to engage in conversation, until he got fed up and walked away. Bruce sat with him and he appreciated the thought, but couldn´t bring himself to break the silence that settled between them. Clint came to him at some point, and be braced himself.
"Don´t blame yourself." He sat at his side and passed him a beer. "He´s his own kind of bastard."
Tony smiled for the first time in a while. "He is."
"He fixed me, though."
"He did." He took a sip of the beer. "Thor would have taken that as a motive for hope."
Clint laughed. "Thor would be sulking with you."
"Fuck you."
And for a second it was good.
--
They held a small, private funeral for Thor. The coffin was closed and those who knew tried to ignore the fact that it was empty. The medical team had never found the body.
Jane was livid, pale and absent in the first row, and for once Darcy stayed silent at her side, holding her hand while Selvig ran a hand through her hair.
When Tony gathered enough guts to walk up to her and tell her how her name had been the first thing in his lips, she paled further, her lips thinned into a tight line and her eyes watered, but she nodded and thanked him with a steady, calmed voice. Tony decided he liked her. Thor had a fine eye for women.
He took his place between Bruce and Steve and faked interest in the empty coffin.
He wondered how he´d feel if the slate that brandished Thor´s name had instead Pepper, Rhodey, Happy or even Bruce´s.
It was ironic, he thought. When he´d first met this team the huge Norse had definitively been the most unlikely choice to establish a friendship with. And yet there he was, thinking of how the ceremony was so peaceful, elegant and unlike Thor.
Fury gave a speech about the service he´d paid Earth, and how he´d always be remembered. He wondered how much trouble he´d get for throwing him a shoe.
Steve went after and gave another, a better one. He mentioned how brave he was, how loyal. He mentioned his jokes, and how no one ever got them. He had to stop at that point and, after saluting the coffin, went back to his seat.
Tony didn´t know how, but he suddenly found himself on his feet and walking towards the dais. He palmed the glass ball in his jacket´s pocket, and took a hold of the microphone.
"I´m going to tell you something about Thor." He started. "He didn´t know a lot of things. He didn´t know how a GPS worked. Or a satellite. he also didn´t know how to not trust someone." He took a deep breath. "But he knew how to make amazing pancakes, and..." Hs knuckles whitened around the podium´s edge. "And he knew how to see the best in everyone." He gestured to the coffin. "Thor was really weird in many ways. He really was... Not from around. But he was without a doubt one of the most human amongst us, and he taught us all a lesson." He looked at his team, and found them staring back attentively. "He was many things, but I think I can say without a doubt that over everything else, Thor was a friend." His throat knotted over himself and he cleared it. "Thank you." He climbed down. He meant to go back to his seat, but instead he turned to the coffin, and placed the glass ball next to it.
He expected to feel like he´d just gotten rid of a heavy weight, but instead every step he took felt heavier than the last. Steve patted his shoulder.
"Nice speech." He whispered. Tony smiled.
"Thanks." He answered. "Truth to be told, the fact that I couldn´t explain the satellite and the GPS without magic metaphors will be my life´s regret."
Steve smiled back. "I´m sure of that." And they fell silent. Only then, and with the aid of Bruce´s hand clamping down on his wrist, did they notice the increasing whispers.
People were standing from their seats, their eyes wide and mouths agape. He followed their gazes, and nearly choked on air.
The coffin was glowing. The glass ball shook on itself and a stone dropped in his gut when it exploded into shards.
The coffin trembled as well, and it wasn´t long before it was reduced to splinters.
The Avengers jumped to their feet and pulled their weapons out (Tony had time to think of how hilariously sad it was that they couldn´t even attend their friend´s funeral without at least a gun at hand.) The remnants of the coffin smoked now, and against the smoke the light took a circular shape, as if someone was pointing a flashlight at it. The smoke changed directions to flow into the light circle.
Tony pointed the gauntlet´s propeller right at the center because oh, he had seen that show before.
The first thing to come through the portal was a booted foot and a leather covered leg. He braced himself.
The rest happened in just a second; people gasped when the rest of the body came through, and when they recognized the pale face that went with it. Tony didn´t gasp. He didn´t move. He shot.
Loki´s eyes widened and his hand shot up in an ample arch, dividing the bean in two currents that faded in the air behind him.
"Stop!" He yelled over the sound of the gauntlet preparing to shoot again.
Steve edged forward, with his gun pointing at the ground.
"What are you doing here?"
Loki frowned. "What am I..." And then he sent a look around, confused. "How long has it been?"
"Two months." Natasha answered in a low mutter. "It´s been two months since the battle. Where have you been?"
Slowly, probably worried about a second attack, Loki stepped out of the portal and sent another look around. "Well, this is certainly going to cause a scandal." He looked back to the portal, and stepped aside. Another booted foot poked out, followed by a hand that stretched around gripping on air. Loki rolled his eyes and held it by the wrist, giving it a strong pull.
And out came Thor.
--
It had to be said, S.H.I.E.L.D. knew how to handle people. It couldn´t have been more than three minutes before the ample yard was all deserted but for a few selected ones. Fury and Coulson stood over the side of the destroyed, smoking coffin that was all that remained of the portal, with a squad of agents at their back. Jane, Darcy and Selvig stayed a bit on the back, with the team between them and the gods.
Coulson broke the silence.
"Do you expect us to believe this is the real Thor?"
Loki nodded at the words, but his eyes remained fixed on Tony. The latter looked straight ahead at some point on the god´s shoulder, and kept his aim steady.
"You never found the body, did you? I took it with me."
"Yes... Where, exactly?" At this Loki did turn to Coulson.
"I´m afraid you wouldn´t believe me."
"Oh, we don´t, don´t worr-" Fury stopped his rant when Coulson stepped forward.
"How can we know this is not a clone or a spell?" He asked, and his eyes scanned Thor the way they would have a potential threat.
Thor chuckled, and took a step of his own, and then another and another. He smiled at the team when he walked past them, but didn´t stop until he was standing a couple steps away from his goal. He stretched a hand.
"Hello, love."
Jane´s face paled and blushed in two seconds flat, as she squinted up into his eyes. They stared at one another for a good while, until Jane smiled back.
"I missed you." She answered then, placing her small hand on top of his. Thor´s other hand came up then, and together they brought Jane´s up to his lips, to kiss her knuckles.
Steve looked back a second before Jane´s breathless `it´s him´, in time to see Loki rolling his eyes again.
"How did you do it?" He asked.
Loki climbed down the dais as well, and sat on it. Even if his stance might have looked casual at first glance, it was carefully arranged to be as non threatening as it was possible, Steve noticed.
"Odin intervened" He started, and by the way his features scrunched it was obvious that the words still carried a bitter taste. "He gave me my magic back just in time.
"So you brought him back."
"I managed to reach his spirit before it had crossed to the Underworld. However... Time between dimensions flows quite differently. I swear I didn´t know so much time would go by here, or I would have given a warning of some kind."
Steve wanted to roll his eyes too. By now the way Loki kept aiming his explanations at Tony was plainly pitiful. He turned and walked to Thor, who watched the scene with an arm still wrapped around Jane and the other around Darcy.
"I can´t believe you´re really back." He smiled, and Thor mirrored it.
"I´m pleasantly surprised as well, dear friend."
"I will have to ask you both to accompany us into the headquarters." Coulson stepped in, sending Steve an apologetic glance.
Steve frowned. "What for? Loki is formally free of any links to S.H.I.E.L.D. now the Chitauri have been dealt with, and Thor is... Well, Thor."
"We need to perform some DNA tests to confirm so. If Thor is indeed Thor and we don´t find a suspicious amount of magic in his composition, they will both be allowed to leave." He explained, only to add a second later. "However, Loki´s connections to the team and his allowance in the tower are still a matter to be discussed."
"... Fine, then. We expect to hear from them in two hours from now." He half conceded, half warned, and offered a hand for Thor to shake. Thor overlooked it and took him into a crushing hug that lasted barely a second, before he repeated the process with the rest of them.
Even as the organization´s car drove off, Loki´s eyes tried to find Tony´s, who pretended to be too engrossed on the gauntlet´s disassembling process. Steve walked to his side.
"That´s a bit bitchy, isn´t it?"
Tony didn´t bother looking up.
"I might believe him if the tests come out positive." At his other side, Bruce raised an eyebrow.
"Why would he have come back, if that wasn´t the case?"
"Don´t know, don´t care."
Steve did roll his eyes then.
"I take it back. That´s really bitchy."
--
They received a call exactly two hours later; Thor informed them he´d been deemed thor-esque enough and that they were on their way back.
No one knew how or why Clint had picked up the ability to build a pop-tart castle in less than twenty minutes. However, they chose not to comment on it because Thor´s face positively lit up when he saw it
"Your brother?" Jane asked as she took a seat next to his.
"He retired to my chambers. He said he wanted to rest." He answered, looking up from his sixth pop-tart. 2"You have no idea how depleting being revived is." He added after another mouthful.
"Yes... How did that happen again?" Bruce asked.
"Loki has a certain degree of authority over my people´s underworld." Thor mumbled. Then after a moment of silence, he looked up to find his friends´ surprised faces. He shrugged. "I´m not saying he rules the Underworld. He´s just close to the one who does. He also doesn´t ask often for favors of that nature."
"So he just went and... Asked to have you back?"
"Oh, no. He had to travel there and pay a tribute for my soul. Then he had to bring us both back." He smiled, and his cheeks reddened. "I must admit, when I first saw him, I thought I was already past the gate, and dreaming of better times."
"So he couldn´t have done it without his full power?
Thor shook his head.
"A lot of power is needed to travel from branch to branch. I don´t know why my Father waited so long after my death to give him his magic back, but Loki made it there just in time."
"He went right after he fixed my eyes."
Thor frowned. "Your eyes? What was wrong with your eyes?
Natasha tore her eyes from her drink. "He didn´t tell you anything?" And Clint grinned wolfishly at Tony.
"See? I told you it wasn´t just a lovers ´ quarrel."
"Fuck off."
"Stop that." Steve leaned forward on his seat. "I think we ought to put Thor up to date."
--
He had tried to stay in Thor´s floor, he really had. Thing was... Everything was just the way it shouldn´t be.
Every surface was fur and wool and linen when it should have been marble and glass. The bed was on the wrong side, and the shower held a jar of an asgardian ointment that made him nostalgic by means of scent alone. He made himself appear in the penthouse, and headed for the bathroom before his brain could remind him his presence was not wanted in there. It was just a shower.
And then after he went out it was just a lazily poured scotch, and just a second on the couch.
Or that was what he tried to say when he looked back at the sound of steps and found Tony standing on the threshold.
--
He fought a chuckle back. The back of the head over the couch´s edge was not only expected, but reassuring as well. Then Loki turned and well... How he´d missed those eyes.
"I was..." He started awkwardly, before he apparently remembered who he was and what that meant. His features hardened. "Stark."
"I see you´ve made yourself comfortable."
" I´ll see myself out." Loki answered, stiffer than before if that was even possible. He rose to his feet.
"You could´ve said something." Tony´s words were plain and inexpressive, and Loki stopped on his tracks.
"It was too late already as it was." He muttered. "I had to half cross myself to retrieve him. I wasn´t thinking-"
"Exactly. And here I was, thinking for the both of us like an idiot." Tony walked past him and retrieved the abandoned glass. He heard Loki turn on his spot and take a tentative step back towards him.
"You thought..."
"I often do."
"Very funny." Frustration was palpable in the god´s voice. "I... What we discussed the night before..."
He smirked into the glass, glad that he couldn´t see him. It was delicious.
"What, exactly?" He sat the glass back on the table and turned. Loki stood a mere two steps away, and in his eyes there was a plea. Don´t make me say it. Don´t make me risk it.
He let his lips take the form of a fond smile. It was unfair, to ask that of him when he himself wasn´t sure he could give it. Besides... They already kind of knew.
He took the remaining two steps.
"We told Thor what happened after he died."
"Did you, now?" His closeness seemed to have brought Loki into more familiar grounds, and the tension slowly evaporated.
"He said it was a clever move on his father´s part, to give you your magic back only when he was sure you´d come back with us, with or without Thor." His hands found their way to Loki´s nape.
"Odin has always had a pretty tasteless sense of humor."
"Like father..."
"I hope you mean Thor, because my humor is refined and flawless."
Tony chuckled, and sobered up.
"What are you going to do now?"
Loki remained silent for a while and then some more.
"I told Thor..." He started. "I wouldn´t go back to Asgard." Tony looked up, and found him looking down at him. He had to do something about those eyes, they had been by far the most troublesome thing he´d ever encountered. "I´m not wanted there." He finished.
Tony reached up to kiss him.
"Their loss." He muttered, smiling against his lips. "I was just about to hang an ad looking for a replacement bitchy alien with a knack for ugly clothes and junk food. Any ideas?"
Loki smiled back and slapped his side softly. "So, as for your question..." He whispered. This time his voice took a hint of a purr at the end and Tony suppressed another smile, because he was so being played right now and he couldn´t bring himself to care. "I´m going to pour myself another drink, and head for the jacuzzi."
"Weird, those were my exact plans too."
"What an amazing coincidence."
--
It was a pretty controversial decision, he thought as he laid down on the huge, soft bed. Not that he wasn´t thrilled, but the way his magic had been restored followed no logical pattern. He didn´t hold any more love for mortals now than when he´d first landed on Midgard. He hadn´t forgiven his father. He hadn´t accepted his real nature. Why, then?
A calloused hand came to rest over his belly, and warmth spread through him like it flowed straight from the stray limb. He covered it with one of his own while a little part of his brain wondered when that had become a reflex.
A voice whispered in his ear.
"I´m glad you didn´t go evil bastard on me, you little shit."
He rolled his eyes in the dark, and his lips curled into a smile.
"Shut up already." He muttered, squeezing the hand a bit tighter, and feeling the warmth intensifying.
Maybe he did know why he´d been forgiven.
He fell asleep with the word "Hope" shining faintly in his mind.