Chapter 14
"Ok now, get closer." Tony instructed, eyes fixated on the small device cradled in his hands.
Loki gripped the scepter, rolling his eyes. "I´m getting really tired of dancing back and forth, Stark."
"Well, I´m getting pretty tired myself, this is certainly not the kind of dance I´m used to."
"Yes, I can imagine." Loki smirked. "Now…" And he took a couple steps forward, stopping dead on his tracks when the device beeped loudly.
They stared at each other, and slowly, Loki dropped the scepter on the couch, and took another step. The device stayed silent, even when he cracked a few sparks between his fingers.
Slower still, like this was a ritual any hurried movement could destroy; he reached behind him and held the scepter again, bringing it close to his chest.
The device beeped again.
The silence stretched more and more, both of them looking at Tony´s cradling hands. Finally, the billionaire let a smile spread across his features.
"I think now´s when you break down crying and thank me profusely." He said. Loki huffed, an amused spark in his eyes, and fell back against the couch.
For nearly three weeks now, Stark had appeared in his apartment whenever he had the chance, with the scepter, and spent the following four or five hours tinkering with his tools and machines, while Loki stayed around, reading, playing with his phone, and answering the magic-related questions he sometimes threw his way.
Long into the evening, and usually after a hungry cry from his own stomach, Loki would get up and either put something together, or -after having received a basic lesson on telephonic etiquette- call for take-out.
He´d serve to plates, place one on the coffee table next to Stark´s working station, and go back to his spot. They would eat mostly in silence, until Stark´s phone roared, demanding attention. From the answers he gave, Loki had assumed the calls came from either his soldier or his red-headed maid, and Stark left soon after, taking the scepter with him. Loki had never asked to guard it, knowing it was futile.
The progress had been slow and frustrating. At first, the device beeped every time Loki got close, even without the scepter, and both Stark and Thor had taken to follow him around with the hysterically beeping machine, just to annoy him.
Some days later, the wire and metal contraption had fallen silent, and no matter how many minor and major spells Loki casted around it, or how close to the scepter it was, the silence had lasted until that very day.
"I could very well do that, for this means I won´t have to keep feeding you."
"Said the guy who ate two chicken buckets on his own." Tony grinned, stretching soundly on the sofa.
"… It had an interesting taste." Loki excused himself. He had indeed found that he had a soft spot for Midgardian food, but Stark didn´t need to know that any more than he already did.
"Sure it did." And here, Tony checked his phone´s screen. He was an hour early for Steve´s paranoid call. Without a word, he started picking his tools, placing them back in their cases. Swirling slowly, like a lazily removed coffee, an idea had started shaping in his mind, as he gathered each piece. "I´ll bring it back finished tomorrow." He announced, cracking his back one final time, and casting a look around to locate his somewhat reluctant host.
He found Loki standing in the kitchen, holding a take-out menu that he threw back in its drawer, as soon as he caught him looking.
"Fine." The god answered, after a little pause.
Tony stayed on his spot, for once not caring how his Nemesis took over the place. He was kind of busy at the time to worry about an awkward silence.
He looked around at the apartment.
The armchair Loki used to occupy was surrounded by such an impressive collection of books that it nearly surpassed the chair´s height itself. The kitchen looked well stocked, and the drawer holding the take-out menus remained slightly open. Asides from that, everything else in the flat was untouched.
He felt a lump forming in his throat, as his mind assigned his current state to the term `emotionally confused´. Out of all things, it was Loki´s voice that brought him back.
"Stark, I´d rather like it if you left my apartment, if your business here is done. I will see you tomorrow." Loki closed the drawer with a well-aimed hip push, and crossed his arms over his chest.
Tony cleared his throat, and forced out a smile, putting the cases down on the carpeted floor. His smile became a grin when one of Loki´s eyebrows arched questioningly.
"Don´t know about you, but I think this calls for a drink, Loks." And, once more kicking self-preservation sense in the groin, he crossed the space between them in three wide steps, and dragged the Norse with him.
-
Now that he looked back at it, Tony thought he shouldn´t have been surprised about the unholy quantity of alcohol needed to inebriate Loki. The guy had grown in As-land-of-mead-gard, after all.
What should have surprised him way more than it did, was how happy of a drunk Loki made.
Really, the guy had smiled so hard and so long that Tony thought he´d surely be sore the next morning. And he had finally understood the `Trickster´ moniker.
No matter how simple or stupid the prank, it seemed that Loki had a physical need to make it. He´d used his weakened magic to switch people´s beverages, twist the lyrics in the singer´s mind, and finally changing all the alcohol in the bar into hot sauce. Compared to those, the bird thing had been a masterpiece, Tony had to admit.
-
Next morning, Tony walked inside the apartment behind Thor, checking his watch, and failing to notice the god had stopped right after crossing the threshold. He huffed angrily when the Thor didn´t move an inch after he bumped into him.
"Thor? What´s wrong?"
As an answer, the blond pointed to the longest couch in the living room. Limp and immobile, a still booted foot hung from the arm.
Tony felt every muscle in his body tensing like a rubber band, and passed a thumb over his wrist to make sure he was wearing the bracelet that would call him the emergency suit he had hid in the apartment. His mind raced inside his head, reassuring him that yes, Loki had been just fine when he had left him the night before, and that he had absolutely secured the door before leaving, and just what the hell was happening?
Thor´s hands balled into fists, and he walked to the couch, Tony following right after. They looked over the back, expecting to find a mutilated corpse, bearing the signs of a Chitauri attack.
Instead, they found Loki, dressed in the same clothes he had the day before, only much more rumpled. The leg that wasn´t handing over the couch´s arm had toppled over to the floor, bending awkwardly, and his arm rested across his face, shielding his eyes against the window´s light.
"…Loki?" Thor reached to touch him, and the sorcerer lazily batted his hand away, turning on the spot, and muttering something in a language Tony had never heard before.
"What was that?" He asked, and Thor turned to look at him with an equally puzzled look.
"He just basically ordered me to leave his chambers, and fetch him a maid…"
Slowly, understanding rained over him, and Tony cracked a grin. "He´s hung-over."
"Hung-over?"
"I´m sure you have a term for that… Drinking too much, and next day it feels like someone´s bashing your head against a wall?"
Thor didn´t exactly blush, but his cheeks darkened, and his lips twitched into a smile.
"We used to say we were… Indisposed."
Tony let out a short laugh. "What, the court didn´t need to know?"
Thor nodded, before looking at the fallen god again.
"Did you take my brother drinking, Anthony?" He questioned, and Tony shrugged.
"We had to celebrate." He answered, holding the small, packaged device at eye level. "The guy sure can drink."
"Aye. But I have found Midgardian alcohol to not bode well with our systems. The quantity needed to inebriate us is often harmful." He explained. "What did you give him?"
"Well, everything. As you said, he just wouldn´t get drunk." Tony admitted, slightly ashamed of himself. (Only not really, because this was Tony Stark here) "Even the bartender was amazed."
Loki stirred in his sleep, and when they looked, there was a single, bloodshot eye glaring at them.
"Shut up." Loki croaked, before turning again. "Morons…" He added, his voice muffled by the cushions.
Tony couldn´t help it; he laughed again, this time pressing a hand to his mouth to stifle the sound. Glancing sideways, he noticed his situation mirrored Thor´s, and he tapped the god´s shoulder, pointing him to the open door to the hallway.
"I must admit I feel guilty, having fun at the expense of my brother´s disgrace." Thor managed, between barks of laughter, and really, he didn´t seem too guilty.
"Tell me. I thought he was above such pitiful conditions" Tony replied, mimicking Loki´s tone for the last part. He took a deep breath, letting laughter die in his throat. "Look" He started again, still grinning like a madman. "I know a bar close by that makes one hell of a hang-over remedy. Real coconut milk and all that stuff. I´ll go get it, you go back in there and… Fix your brother, or something."
Thor sighed. "That is exactly what I have been trying to do, my friend." At this, Tony laughed again.
"Focus on the matter at hand, mate." And he left.
-
He got back just half an hour later. The remedies were still cold in his hand, and he´d picked up some fast-food on his way.
He wondered if Loki would already have gotten annoyed and turned Thor into a sheep or something like that, and he hoped no. He wasn´t in the mood to explain that one to Steve.
He pushed the door open, making as little sound as possible, and he found the apartment considerably darker, the drapes shut tightly over the windows. Thor had also dragged a blanked to the couch, and Loki´s boots now rested on the floor. Over the couch´s back, Thor´s broad shoulders towered a bit to the side, one arm stretched over it.
Tony left the bags on the kitchen counter, and looked over his shoulders, to get a better look at the gods. First thing he noticed was that Loki was in deep sleep, way deeper than when he´d left. He got to that conclusion less from his even breaths and relaxed expression, and more from the way his head rested on Thor´s lap.
A sad smile pulled at his lips, and he let Thor have his moment. It would be over as soon as Loki woke up. He focused on arranging the food on a plate, and moving the remedies into the fridge, save for one. He turned again, and found that Thor was looking questioningly at him. He nodded, and watched as the blond whispered a single "Loki".
Loki stirred immediately, his brow furrowing.
"Urgh… Be silent…" His voice faded as he went on, and it was only from the way Thor´s face lit up did Tony guess that the last, incoherent word that had escaped Loki´s lips had been `Brother´.
"Wake up. Anthony has brought something to lessen your ailment."
Loki groaned, waking by the moment. "Considering this is his fault, it´s the least he could do." He managed to rise to a sitting position, and doubled over just as soon, his hands flying to clutch his head. "How could anyone enjoy this?"
Tony walked over, holding the plastic cup like a shield, and smiling, still delighted with the god´s suffering. "You did seem to enjoy it last night." He risked, earning another glare.
"I was not in my right mind, and you know it."
"You have a right mind?"
"Do shut up, Stark, and hand me that concoction of yours." He snatched the glass from Tony´s hand, and downed it in one gulp. Tony studied his face, as he received the cup back.
"Let me guess… Interesting taste?"
Loki glared at him, though there was a smirk pulling at the corner of his mouth. "How come you don´t share my condition, mortal?"
"It is a secondary effect of focusing on inebriating someone, brother, you don´t get the chance to have fun yourself." Thor answered for him. Loki´s eyebrow arched, his smirk vanishing, and he looked back at him.
"Ah, yes… I had forgotten you were here. Why are you even here?"
Tony frowned at Thor´s resigned look.
"Steve was right, you´re kind of an ungrateful little shit."
"I´m not in the mood, Stark." And he stood from the couch, storming into the bedroom.
Tony crossed glances with Thor. His friend seemed part ashamed, part saddened and all resigned. Tony cleared his throat, and motioned to where Loki had disappeared, mouthing a silent `wait here´.
-
He thanked his lack of common sense as he crossed the apartment, and closed the bedroom´s door at his back. He found Loki bundled up in sheets, back turned to the window, and head buried under a pillow.
"Get off, Stark. I already recognized your efforts, but I won´t allow you to goad into my vulnerability."
"I didn´t mean me, you idiot." Tony crossed his arms, frowning deeper. "Do you even realize who´s been patrolling the whole block since you spotted the first Chitauri?"
"Nobody asked him to."
Tony rolled his eyes.
"Loks, when someone loves you, they don´t need to be asked." It was so cheesy a phrase that he winced internally right after saying it, and yet he knew it to be true. Rhodey, Pepper and even Happy were all an example. He was a complete bastard to all of them, and yet they were always looking out for him, without him even needing to say a word. Tony Stark doubted of his ability to experience love, but he didn´t doubt of its existence. He just deemed it idiotic and unreasonable. His eyes focused on Loki again, who hadn´t said a word. "If I were you, I´d be a bit more careful. Someday you´re going to hit so hard, he´s not going to come back."
"What if that is exactly what I want?" Loki´s voice was a poisonous hiss coming from under the sheets.
"You keep saying that to yourself. People like you and me, we´re lucky to have someone that we just can´t chase away." He backed away to the door, turning the knob silently. "You won´t like it when you´re all alone, I can say that much."
"You sound way too convinced, Stark."
Tony smirked bitterly.
"Someone once told me we´re alike." He confessed. He had to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat before continuing. "We just need a reason to be better. I found my reason in a cave. I changed. And this "good" business sucks, really. It´s hard and boring, and it costs way more than it´s worth. But at the end of the day, you realize some people believe in you, and you don´t feel as disgusted with yourself as you did before."
"I can´t change. There are no such people for me. There never were."
"You´re alive, aren´t you? That means there are people who have that faith in you, ridiculous as it may sound. I say that´s enough of a reason." He turned to leave. "Think about it, Loks. What would you be without them?"
There was a dry bark of laughter, and Tony waited in his spot. "They have no faith in me. They hope their mistake can still be fixed and forgotten."
"Hey, I figure you had your own mistakes, man." He looked at him over his shoulder. "And here I am, putting up with your shit."
"Yes, why is that?"
Tony shrugged, knowing Loki wasn´t looking his way. "I like challenges."
And before the god could lure him further, he stepped out of the room and closed the door.
-
Thor was still standing in the middle of the room, curious. Tony shook his head, and they both headed out.
They drove back to the tower, and parked the car in the underground garage. He looked sideways at Thor. He could tell the Norse had been wanting to say something since they had left the apartment, but he had kept quiet, and he had this troubled look that was absolutely pitiful. Tony sighed.
"What is it?" He asked, hoping not to sound as dreadful as he felt. He knew what was coming, and he knew it had to be him. Whether he liked it or not, he´d gotten way too involved in the brother´s conflict.
"I don´t wish to trouble you, Anthony. You have gone well beyond what was required of you." The god fumbled. "And you did mention your dislike towards discussing feelings."
"I´m willing to suck it up this time, Thor." The god still seemed hesitant. "Now or never, buddy, choose."
Thor let out an amused chuckle, and nodded.
"I must admit I´ve been wishing to ask you. You seem to have found your way around my brother."
Tony shrugged. "I deal with stuck up assholes on a `Whenever Pepper makes me do it´ basis. I´m not easily affected by douchebags." He fidgeted a bit. "I thought you two were fixing it up, though."
"I fear there is just too much to fix…"
"What happened? I asked before, I know. But I´m too involved in this, and sometimes I say stuff and he looks like he wants to chop my tongue off and feed it to me, and I don´t even know what I said or did."
"You have earned the right to know, but it´s a long tale, the one you ask for."
"Then I suggest we move on to somewhere more comfortable."
They did, finally settling in the living room. The tower was nearly empty and, as they agreed, with everyone thinking Loki dead, no one would suspect of Thor telling his story. They would probably chart it to one of the extremely infrequent teammate bonding moments.
Tony fixed them both a drink, and Thor made himself comfortable on one of the big armchairs, taking a swig of his glass before starting.
He spoke for hours. First, there was a little explanation about Asgardian culture, traditions and roles that Tony, always curious, found particularly interesting.
Then he went on, explaining the war against Jotunheim, the lives lost. The massacre in the enemy realm, and how his Father had taken two things from it; the first for everyone to see, the heart of Jotunheim, the Casket of Ancient Winters. The second one he smuggled under his cloak, and presented as his own. No one questioned, and no one ever found out. If anyone suspected their odd little prince to be different, they kept it to themselves.
He explained how he and his brother had been raised as equals, both tempted by the crown promised by Odin, and how the differences started only much later, when it became clear that Loki was no common áesir. Always favoring magic and tricks over honest battle, always looking forward to defy every rule he was imposed, if only for his own amusement. He spoke about unheard sides of the sties Tony had read, about his unfinished coronation, his exile, and what happened meanwhile in his home realm. He admitted he could only trust his parents on that part, as he had not been present when Loki had found out about his true heritage, and how guilty he felt about it, for he was sure that, had he been there, the outcome would have been much different.
Tony stayed mostly silent, slipping a comment here and there ("I can´t believe the crossdressing story is real.", "He basically double-crossed himself in there.", "I need to tease him about the horse.", "Did your father really think that was the best thing to say in there?")until Thor finished, and he let out an impressed whistle.
"Ok… Those are issues."
"Not nearly enough, if you ask me." They would later deny it, say it was an exaggeration, but the truth was they both jumped two feet in the air when Steve´s voice came from behind them.
Tony turned in his seat to glare at him. "You NEED to stop appearing like that."
Steve smiled. "You seemed far too busy to notice me standing here, it would have been rude to interrupt."
"Sure…"
Steve ignored Tony´s glare, and took a seat on one of the remaining couches, fixing his gaze on Thor.
"I think the issue here is actually clear." He started. "Your people taught Loki to hate his kind, and to think of himself as clashing and unworthy. When he found out he was indeed different, it was only logical that his doubts morphed into self-hatred, fueled by the culture-induced disdain towards Frost Giants." He looked at Tony, as if expecting a confirmation, only to find him staring like he´d discovered a bug on the windshield of one of his expensive cars.
"I was going to say Asgard is full of bastards, Captain Psychoanalysis."
The blond huffed, shaking his head in annoyance. "No one is entirely blameless, Tony. He taught himself how to hate. Thor was always there for him…"
"The hell he was! Didn´t you hear why he was banished? No offense, man, but you were kind of a bastard too." He added, sparing the bigger blond a quick glance.
"That doesn´t mean he wasn´t there. If that had been the case, then Loki wouldn´t have cared for him. He wouldn´t have stopped the coronation. He wouldn´t have left for Jotunheim with him. Thor´s right, if he´d been there…"
"Why then is he so reluctant of my presence now?"
More than his words, it was his saddened voice what shut both Steve and Tony.
"I… Don´t know, Thor. I´m sorry…" Steve looked really at loss.
Tony, instead, stroked his chin, thoughtful.
"Maybe Captain Spandex is onto something there…" He muttered. He looked up to see both blonds staring at him. "What?"
Steve raised an eyebrow. "You know very well `what´."
The billionaire ran a hand through his hair. "Do you even know how taxing it is, to be some selfish, self-destructive asshole´s comforting shoulder?"
"No, but I think you should give Pepper a rise, then."
Tony couldn´t help a laugh, as he stood up.
"Well played, Steve… Well played."
The blonds fell into silence, as Tony´s footsteps faded in the distance.
"I shouldn´t be using Anthony like this…" Thor started.
"He got himself involved. I think it´s nice that he wants to help, for a change." Steve replied. Thor eyed him suspiciously.
"But you are worried."
"Of course I am."
"And so am I, my friend. But I am afraid it´s a risk I am willing to take."
"I just hope you´re right, Thor."