Wake Up Calls
***
That night, she begins to dream. In her dream, she’s still in bed, still in the same apartment, but there’s another person lying beside her. Behind her, out of view, but she knows who it is, has always known.
What’s wrong Bea? Ava murmurs, tracing delicate lines down her spine. This feels like a memory, but Ava never touched her this way. Never had the chance to.
I miss you, Beatrice replies, thinks she replies. I can’t do this without you.
Oh babe, Ava’s voice is a low whisper, almost indistinguishable from the nighttime breeze, I’m right here.
Ava leans in planting a kiss on Beatrice’s neck, and Beatrice turns to face her. For a second she sees Ava, literally haloed in radiant light, before reality crumbles, the dream ends and Beatrice is jolted awake, gasping for breath and with a lingering sense of chill running down her back.
***
The next time she dreams, she’s alone in the bed. It’s morning and she hears someone bustling about in the kitchen. She knows she’s not awake, can sense it somehow in the fabric of this reality, one where Ava is sashaying around their tiny kitchen with an ungodly amount of liquor bottles on the counter.
Morning Bea! She hums happily, combining the contents of the bottles in a glass.
What in god’s name are you doing? It’s all Beatrice can think to ask. Ava turns
I’m practicing my bartending, she replies, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, Gotta get back up to speed if I’m going to get my old job back.
Your old-what? Beatrice is rapidly losing her grip on the situation. She’s still not sure if this is a dream, or if she’s losing it, or if she even cares either way.
My old job. Ava replies matter of factly, Hans is gonna be pissed, but he knows he can’t find another bartender as good as me, or as hot. She winks, Beatrice blushes.
The implication of Ava’s words catches up to her a moment later though, and she forgets that this is just a dream, forgets everything else.
So you’re coming back? When? Ava I need to know, how can I find you?
For the first time, Ava looks sad. Oh Beatrice, if I knew I would tell you.
She hands Beatrice a mixed drink, and Beatrice takes a sip, Ava smiles again.
Or maybe I wouldn’t. After all, you’re only dreaming.
Beatrice jolts awake with the taste of honey and gin on her tongue.
***
The next time, they’re outside, walking along a riverbank that Beatrice doesn’t recognize.
This is new. Apparently this is just her life now.
Ava shrugs, looking around. Yeah I thought a change of scenery would be nice, you know how restless I get.
Imagine how I feel, I still don’t know how to find you.
Well you could start by apologizing to a certain hot librarian who’s probably worried she scarred you for life or something. Ava winks, and Beatrice just stares. How did she know?
What? I’m an angel babe, I go everywhere. See you when your sleeping and all that.
That’s Santa Clause and you know it. Just going to skirt right past the whole ‘I’m an angel’ comment.
Ava laughs, then sobers. Seriously though Bea, you can pick em, and she’s not a bad one to settle down with.
I don’t want her, I want you.
Ava reaches out and takes Beatrice’s hand, twining their fingers together. The sensation is muted, like she’s wearing very thick gloves, but it still makes her heart race.
I know. Ava says softly, It won’t be long now, you just gotta have faith.
Not this again.
Okay the next person to tell me to have faith is getting their fucking teeth punched in.
Ava lets out a delighted cackle, and even Beatrice can’t help cracking a smile. Her delight is infectious, always has been.
Hah! I’d like to see that.
She drops their joined hands and turns to face Beatrice. This close, Beatrice can see little lines of Divinium tracing her cheeks, glowing faintly.
I’ll be there soon Bea, She whispers, and god, does Beatrice want to believe it.
just hold on…
***
She calls Dina.
The phone takes forever to ring, and Beatrice can’t decide if she’s hoping it will or it won’t pick up, but eventually it does.
“Beatrice?”
Her voice is…concerned? That’s good right? Beatrice is pretty sure they won’t be kissing any time soon, but Dina is nice and she’d love to have a friend around here.
“Uhm, Hi. I-“
What do you even say in a circumstance like this??
“do you hate me?” Dina’s voice cuts through her own thoguhts.”
“What?! No! I just…it’s complicated. I’m-”
“Not really over her, are you?”
Well now, that’s the whole fucking problem.
“…No,”
Also I’m possibly having imaginary dates with her ghost in my dreams, cause my life is normal and I am a Well Adjusted Person
“Kinda figured, I probably shouldn’t have pushed you like that.”
“You didn’t do anything wrong though. I wanted to kiss you I just…thought it’d work out differently.”
“I get it Beatrice, I do. When my ex left me I wanted so badly to just move on with my life, to forget about her. But I couldn’t. You can’t rush this stuff. It’ll happen. If I’m honest, maybe I’m still waiting for it to happen.”
“How can you stand it?” Her voice breaks, and she’d be embarrassed about crying in front of a complete stranger if she had any remaining energy to spare on something like that.
Dina sighs, and Beatrice can picture her sitting somewhere, brow furrowed and eyes downcast.
“I have other people in my life, I have
“So…are we friends now?”
There’s a long pause.
“I don’t know about right now, but someday, when we’ve both sorted out our lives more, yeah I’d like that.”
That someday seems a heck of a long way away, but for the first time in a long time it doesn’t seem impossible. They finish exchanging pleasantries and Beatrice hangs up, feeling better than she has any right to. Maybe ghost Ava had a point. It makes her wonder what else she was right about.
She’ll come back, she thinks to herself, one day, she’ll come back.
That is Thursday. On Sunday, Ava comes back.