Chapter 1
It was 75 degrees in Phoenix; sunny with a light breeze drifting across my face. The sky was cloudless and blue. It was a perfect day by anyones standards. Usually I would spend today at the local pool trying desperately for a tan; instead i was throwing a single suitcase in the trunk of my mothers car. It was probably foolish to be wearing a crop top considering i was going somewhere considerably colder and decidedly less sunny. My destination was Forks, Washington; the rainiest town in North America. Forks existed under a constant cover of clouds.
My only other carryon was the thickest parka I could find on Amazon. My plane ticket sat heavy in my lap as I sat in the passenger seat, Reya, my mother, slid in next to me on the drivers side. The silence was thick. I know Reya didn’t quite understand my decision to go live with my father. “You don’t have to do this Ava.” she insisted for probably the 8th time that morning. Her eyes were wide and almost childlike; the wrinkles around her eyes deepened and her brow furrowed. A frown marred her lips. For a moment I panicked.
The choice to leave my lovable, carefree, eccentric, irresponsible mother hadn’t been an easy one. I’d spent most of my young adult life after Reya adopted me looking after her. I’d been the one to set up auto pay on the bills, i cooked, cleaned, grocery shopped, and made sure the car had gas. I didn’t mind doing those things for her, after all, i owed her my life. She is a free spirit and a little scatter brained but she loves me fiercely. I will however, not deny the relief I felt when those duties stopped being mine and started being her husbands when they finally got married. His recent absence due to his job had taken its toll on my mother and me. both. Seeing her miss him to stay home with me while he traveled was draining. The guilt was overwhelming.
So, I decided it was time to relocate and live with my father for a while. When I was 7, a car accident killed my birth parents and left me with severe injuries. I didn’t walk again until I was 9. Reya and Charlie adopted me when I was 11. They split up when I was 14. Mom and Charlie fought one night and by the next morning the two of us left for Phoenix and never looked back. Charlie and I vacationed together for two weeks every summer but other than that my contact has been limited. To say Charlie jumped on the opportunity for me to come stay with him was an understatement.
I took a steadying breath and looked back at my mom, a small smile on my lips. “Mom, I want this, I promise.” My breath caught ever so slightly on promise, but my mother, oblivious as ever, only pursed her lips and nodded once. “Tell charlie I said hi” she murmured quietly. “I will.” I said, dread pooling in the pit of my stomach. The sound of Reyas car door shutting sounded an awful lot like a nail being driven into a coffin. The ride to the airport was tense, each exit on the highway that passed by only added to my anxiety. Goodbyes were quick; a crushing hug and forehead kiss with the promise of emails and phone calls. Seeing my mother drive away was almost enough to make me call her right back and demand to be taken home. Almost.
The airport was crowded, there were throngs of people all in a hurry to make their flights or greet loved ones. The trek from the airport entrance to my gate felt like an eternity. The flight was 4 hours to Seattle and another hour by plane to Port Angeles. Charlie met me there, in his police cruiser. Flying didn’t make me nearly as nervous as the car ride to my new home with Charlie. My anxiety eased somewhat when I saw the excited smile on his face. He seemed genuinely pleased I was choosing to stay with him for the foreseeable future. I’d even been enrolled in the local high school and he was willing to help me get a car once I got a job up here. Something about me? I ramble when I’m nervous. Charlie was not the most verbose man, he seemed content to let me prattle on about anything and everything. Occasionally he’d ask me small questions and I’d launch myself head first into another round of barely comprehensible word vomit.
I could tell charlie was holding some of his questions back. I knew he was confused about my decision to come stay, after all, i’d made my distaste for Forks clear on multiple occasions. For now, I think he’s just content to see me. In a moment of silence, charlie spoke up. “Do you remember Billy Black?” he asked, shifting in his seat. His eyes never left the road but I could see his brow furrow. “Vaguely, why?” I asked in return. “Well, I found a good truck for you. Billy has done a lot of work on it, and it runs really well. Sturdy and solid, a great car for someone like you.” I scowled for a moment. My
clumsiness was no secret. Charlie had seen some of my worst accidents first hand. When Charlie says “a great car for someone like you” he really means “I can’t bubble wrap you,
so this is the next best thing.” I sighed. “Billy can’t drive it anymore since he’s in a wheelchair now, So I kind of bought it off him. As a homecoming present.” he said sheepishly. A faint blush worked its way on his cheeks and any annoyance i felt towards him vanished. “You bought me a truck?” I questioned, my voice an octave higher than normal. He nodded stiffly. My voice was thick when I answered. “You didn’t have to do that Dad, I was going to buy something.” He half shrugged, his eyes steady on the road. “I want you to be happy here Ava, I don’t mind. I’ve missed enough already, I’m just thankful you’re here now.”
His fingers clutched the steering wheel hard enough to turn his knuckles white and he chewed his bottom lip between his teeth. With a jolt, i realized he was nervous to give me this gift. My chest felt warm. “Thank you, Dad. I know I’ll love it.” Charlie didn’t need to know that me being here was an impossibility. There was no reason for him to suffer through this experience with me, and hey, free is free, right? Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, or whatever they say. “You’re welcome.” he mumbled, the blush spreading further down his neck. We didn’t talk much after that. A few comments here or there but for the most part the only noise was the occasional burst of static through a song on the radio or the pitter patter of raindrops pelting the windshield. The weather was dismal, grey clouds covered every inch of the sky for miles in each direction as far as the eye can see. What was even more jarring was the sheer amount of greenery that existed in every possible place. Greens of every shade littered the sides of the slick highway in a blur. Thick tree trunks with knotted green moss clinging to the rough bark, leaves dark and swaying with the wind, and grass mostly knee high along the road, everything was green and brown in varying shades and it was almost nauseating how much she suddenly missed the muted tans and greys of dirt and pavement back home.
I felt like an alien, an invader in a world that was most definitely not my own. Charlies teo bedroom, two story house stood dark and imposing, the only splash of colour a faded red Chevy truck with two doors parked in the driveway. The fenders were rounded and the cabin was bulbous. Immediately i was smitten with the ancient vehicle, and it was old, at least early 60’s. The car hadn’t even come to a full stop before i was out of the passenger seat and racing to the car. The grin that had overtaken my face was making my cheeks hurt, but i couldn’t bring myself to care as i stroked my fingers over the faded paint along the bed. This was mine. Relief flooded me then, the idea of having to arrive to school tomorrow in the chiefs police cruiser was nightmarish and i’d almost considered walking the two miles in the freezing rain to avoid it.
Charlie approached, his hands deep in the pockets of his jacket. “What do you think, kid?” I turned and all but launched myself at him, wrapping him in a big hug. I refused to cry in front of him on principle but I could give him this. His hands were tentative as he hugged me back, like he wasn’t sure where to put them. The hug was over quickly enough and I was back to examining my new ride. “I think this will definitely impress the ladies dad.” The laugh Charlie let out was more of a quick huff of air as he shook his head, but the twitch of his lips indicated he found it at least a little funny. While I explored the cab of the truck, Charlie made quick work of taking my single suitcase inside the house. Eventually I grew bored and followed him inside. I trudged up the stairs to my bedroom which faced the front lawn. The walls were lilac. A desk was pressed against the wall and a small silver laptop sat in the center. My double bed sat in the middle of the room. A rocking chair was in the corner. Everything was exactly the way id left it the last time id been here. The best thing about Charlie? He doesn’t hover. He left me to get unpacked and settled, only knocking on my door to inform me there was pizza in the kitchen.
My toiletries went into our shared bathroom, a fact that I was trying not to dwell on. Once I’d eaten, i bid Charlie goodnight and made my way up the stairs and into my bedroom. I shot off a few quick texts to my mother letting her know i was safe and settled in before i plugged it into my charger and set it on the nightstand. It was nice to be alone, to not have to keep up with the bright and happy facade i wore like a suit of armor. I felt like crumbling. I was in a place i hated, in an atmosphere i loathed, forced to endure a small town high school, and reconnecting with my estranged father. I grit my teeth and breathed tensely through my nose for a few moments willing myself to relax. On autopilot i allowed myself to shower, get dressed , and lay out my clothes for the coming day. Thinking about the day tomorrow had me on edge. I was going to be the new girl, again.
Forks High School had less than 400 students total, it would be much harder to blend in here than at home. My class alone in Phoenix had almost 700 kids. All the kids here had grown up together, played together, studied together, dated each other, finding somewhere to belong was going to be difficult. I was going to be the new girl, an oddity, a curiosity. I hadn’t been able to find my niche anywhere within a school of 3,000 people, I did not stand a chance in a crowd of 400. I haven’t ever meshed well with other people. Everyone says i’m charming and charismatic, but that’s where it ends. I was an orphan, ex paraplegic, nerd that had an affinity for puns and classic literature. Not exactly friend material. It took a while for me to understand that I was on a different wavelength than other people. I often wondered if I saw the world differently than others. Like my brain was on AM frequency instead of FM. Nothing has ever made any sense to me. I’ve spent my life like a puzzle piece without a home, just waiting for the proper moment I could fit effortlessly into the bigger picture that i belonged to.
Laying in my new bed staring at the ceiling in the dark, sleep evaded me. I tossed and turned hopelessly as anxiety clawed at my insides like an unholy beast desperate to escape the confines of my fragile human body. The rain outside settled into a quiet drizzle sometime after midnight. With a pillow thrown over my head I finally succumbed to a fitful rest. The sleep i did get was fraught with nightmares. The alarm on my phone was shrill and going off far too soon in my humble opinion. My eyes ached from the crying I’d done the night before and my temples throbbed in time with my heartbeat.
Getting ready for school was the easy part. The hard part was going downstairs and peering out the kitchen window only to see the thick fog that surrounded the house. The grey of the sky was never ending and dreadful. It felt like a cage, and the worst part was coming to terms with the fact that this was a prison of her own making. Breakfast was a quiet affair. There was an attempt to eat a bowl of cereal but it was quickly abandoned as the anxiety pooling in my gut reared its ugly head and threatened to forcefully divulge everything i had dared to consume. Charlie wished me good luck and I quietly thanked him. The small satisfied smile on his face was the only thing stopping me from mentioning that luck was essentially useless to me. As someone with a track record for abysmal luck, i didn’t dare hope for a good day. I’d honestly count today a win if i managed to not trip over my own feet or accidentally set anything on fire. Charlie left before I did, setting his coffee cup in the empty sink and putting on his gun belt and jacket. The emptiness of the house was oppressing. The yellow cabinets and paneled walls of the kitchen, the small table in the breakfast nook, and the scuffed wooden floors felt suffocating. Unable to stand another moment haunted by the old photos on the mantle or the same furniture i’d sat on at 13, I left the house in a rush, nearly slipping on a patch of ice just outside the door on the walkway. To make matters worse, it was softly raining. My mood soured considerably.
I wanted to pause for a moment to admire my truck but the incessant drum of rain against the hood of my coat reminded me that I shouldn’t if I valued the dryness of my clothes. The truck roared to life right away as i turned the key. Loud, but it drives and it’s free so i’m not complaining. The radio even worked which was an unexpected surprise. With the music low and hands at 10 and 2, I backed out of the driveway and started towards my first day in hell. The ride to school did not take as long as l’d hoped, and the school was shockingly easy to find considering i’d never been there before. It did not really look like a school, the only indicator was a nondescript sign in the front of the parking lot. No chain link fences or metal detectors in sight. I felt eyes on me from every angle and i drove smoothly into a parking space near the front where the sign on the building read “Front Office.” I took a deep steadying breath before I opened the door and stepped out.
Leaving the warmth of the truck cab to walk in the cold rain felt criminal. Asinine. Illogical. I walked into the small office. Inside along the wall were a row of padded folding chairs. Several awards were tucked nearly away in a display case and framed photos lined the walls. Some black and white but most were in colour. There was a woman behind a desk with a genuine smile and bright red hair. “How can I help you dear?” asked the woman, her voice sweet and sincere. I hesitated a moment before answering. “I’m Ava Silva.” The woman’s eyes flashed with recognition. Great. I was, without a doubt, a topic of gossip. Adopted daughter of the beloved police chief returned home at last after being swept away by the flighty ex wife all those years ago. Fucking fantastic. “Of course!” exclaimed the woman clasping her hands together in delight.
The woman fluttered her hands over a few of the wire baskets that littered the countertop, as if searching for something. Apparently she found it since she snatched it out of a basket and held it out to me. “This is your class schedule and here-“ she grabbed another paper and offered it to me “is a map of the school.” She spent a moment explaining the best route to my classes and going over the classes I would be taking this semester. Finally she presented me with one more paper. One that each of my new teachers had to sign the slip before the end of the day. Great. The woman wished me well on my first day at school and ushered me out of the office with a smile.
I climbed back into my truck and followed the line of traffic to the student parking lot. It was a relief to see that most of the cars were older like mine. The nicest car in the parking lot was a navy blue jeep with huge tires. Back home it was common to see that kind of car, but here it stuck out like a sore thumb. As soon as i slid into a parking space somewhere near the middle of the parking lot i cut the engine. My anxiety had me in a chokehold at this point. I took a few steadying breaths and pulled my hood over my head. It’s not like anyone was going to bite me. With my book bag slung over my shoulder i sucked in a huge breath and opened the car door only to step down directly into a puddle. Water seeped into my shoe and i scowled. “Fuck me.” i mumbled under my breath and hastily made my way towards the sidewalk. Lucky for me the damage wasn’t too bad, and only the front portion of my shoe had gotten wet. Still annoying. The walkway was crawling with teenagers, and I noticed that my black jacket helped me blend quite well with the crowd.
I passed the cafeteria and immediately noticed building 3. My breath came in rapid bursts and I realized I was almost hyperventilating. I held my breathe and willed my heartbeat to slow before i stepped through the door and into my classroom. The two raincoats I’d followed in stopped by the door to hang their coats up, so I copied them. A tall balding man sat at the desk at the front of the room, I took him my slip to sign. The nameplate on the desk read “Mr. Mason.” He barely looked up to grab the paper from me but he did a double take upon reading my name and his gaze shifted onto me, his lips parting slightly. I flushed under his stare. Thankfully Mr. Mason was merciful and signed my slip without a word and sent me to an empty desk towards the back of the classroom. I breathed a sigh of relief not having to stand in front of the class to introduce myself. I assumed it would be harder to be stared at by my classmates from the very back of the class, but somehow they managed. It was uncomfortable to say the least. Instead of focusing on the stares, i gave my attention to the reading list the teacher had given me. Dickinson, Bronte, Shakespeare, Orwell, all stuff i’d read before. Perfect. I was going to spend the next semester bored out of my skull. The teacher droned on and I zoned out, letting the sound of his voice become a muted hum in the background of my daydreaming.
The nasally sound of the bell shook me from my stupor. I uncrossed my arms and shoved my new belongings into my backpack. A dark haired boy leaned across the aisle to talk to me. “You’re Ava Silva aren’t you?” he questioned. I nodded once. “Where’s your next class?” he asked a smile creeping on his face. “Um, government with Jefferson in building 6.” I bit my lip and looked down at my crumpled schedule. The boy seemed pleased. “I’m headed to building 4, I can show you the way if you want?” I hesitated. The curious eyes around me never wavered. “I’m Eric by the way.” He added as an afterthought. I let out a soft sigh and stood from my seat. “That would be great, thanks Eric.” We grabbed our coats and made our way towards building 6. “So, Ava” he began “it’s a lot different than Phoenix here, huh?” I cracked a small smile. “Only a lot. It’s too grey here. Too wet. Too green. I miss the sun already.”
He chuckled softly. “It doesn’t rain much there does it.” I shrugged. “Maybe 3 or 4 times a year. Very reasonable.”
We fell into an easy silence. Eric walked me right to the door of my classroom despite it being clearly marked. “Well, good luck new girl, maybe we have more classes together.” I offered my thanks and walked into the classroom without a glance back. I collected my signature and found a seat, this class passing in a similar fashion to the last. My morning became a blur, the only notable thing to happen was Mr. Varner, my trigonometry teacher, made me stand in front of the class and to introduce myself. I decided right away I hated this man with a burning passion. I was so flustered i tripped on a book bag half way down the isle. Normally I was fairly outgoing but something about this school had me tense and shy. I didn’t like it. After a few classes several people became recognizable and some of the braver ones even introduced themselves. I threw on my usually charm and even had a few of them laughing by the time we finished talking. Despite everything, I felt the tension melt away as lunch approached.
A nice girl with short curly hair walked me to the cafeteria. She was actually very cute and i felt myself drawn to her. She sat next to me in both trig and spanish, so at least I had a nice view. If only I could remember her name. She led me to a table with 6 other people seated there. She introduced me and i forgot all of their names as soon as she told them to me. I noticed Eric wave at me from across the room and I gave a small sheepish wave in return. It was here in the cafeteria surrounded by strangers that I noticed them.
In the very back corner of the cafeteria sat 5 women. They weren’t really talking and their food sat untouched on the trays before them. It felt safe to look at them since they seemed to be the only people uninterested in gawking at me. On the left was a dark skinned girl, her hair in braids, with a long trench coat on. Her face was twisted in a scowl. Next to her was a taller girl, olive skin, with cheekbones that could cut glass. Her dark hair hung perfectly straight down her back. The two of them sat with their sides pressed together. The next girl was smaller and pixie-ish. Her hair was cropped short and wildly curly, she had a button nose and was the only one of the bunch who was smiling. The girl beside her looked stiff, her posture was ramrod straight. Her hair was dark and curled and her eyes were downcast. They also sat close together. The very last one at the table was alone. Her hair was tied into a bun at the base of her neck, which was long and slender. She wore a long sleeved dress shirt buttoned all the way to the throat, and black slacks that flared at the base. Her fingers picked at her tray and tore chunks of food off aimlessly before being tossed back to the tray. She was breathtaking even from a distance. They all were, but something about the last girl was captivating. None of them looked even remotely related, but they all had the same dark circles under their eyes, as if they were suffering from a sleepless night or recovering from a broken nose. They were all exceptionally beautiful with angular features, and skin that was a shade paler than it should have been. They looked like models, not something you found at a local high school. Being in their presence was devastating for my self esteem. I considered myself to be pretty, hot even in the right clothes, but the beauty before me was otherworldly and unapproachable.
As i watched, the smallest girl rose with her tray of completely untouched food and gracefully walked over to the nearest trash can, depositing the tray inside. Her walk was as elegant as any runway models as she quietly slipped though the back door of the cafeteria.
The girl next to her, Jennifer maybe? cleared her throat. “I see you’ve noticed the Cullens.” There was an edge in her voice that hadn’t been there before. My eyes darted up to meet hers for a moment before i felt myself blush. Caught staring at pretty girls on my first day? Not looking good Silva. I needed to get it together. “I just noticed they didn’t seem very friendly with anyone else.” I glanced back towards the Cullens and found dark eyes already staring back at me. The one with her hair in a bun seemed to study me for a moment with intense eyes before turning back towards her table and I dropped my gaze, embarrassed. My neighbor giggled as I shifted in my seat. “The one with the braids is Mary Cullen and next to her is Lilith Hale. The one that left is Camilla Cullen and next is Yasmine Hale. The last one there is Beatrice Cullen. Dr and Mrs. Cullen adopted them all. They’re also all like, together.” The last part of her sentence was whispered. I tilted my head to the side, curiously. “Together, as in, dating?” I asked. The girl nodded vigorously. “Yea, Mary and Lilith are together and then Camilla and Yasmine are together. Beatrice is single but apparently no one here is good enough for her.” Her voice held all the condemnation of a small town. Admittedly, even back in Phoenix that would probably be a scandal. She sniffed. The tone she spoke in sounded as if she’d been personally rejected by Beatrice.
The beautiful stranger was talking quietly to her siblings, mouth barely moving. Their names were strange and oddly old fashioned. I wondered briefly if that was just a small town norm or if Dr and Mrs Cullen simply collected children with outdated names. I finally remembered that my neighbor was named Jessica. Very common, I’d had two in my homeroom back in Phoenix. “They are… Very beautiful.” I mumbled ducking my head. “Are they related at all? They dont really look similar.” Jessica thought for a moment. “Oh no, Dr and Mrs. Cullen are only in their 30’s. The only ones who are related are Lilith and Yasmine who are sisters. Some people think they have different fathers but no one really wants to ask. They’ve been with the Cullens since they were 8. Mrs. Cullen is their aunt or something like that. The rest were just adopted individually.”
“That was very nice of them to adopt so many.” I remarked. “Especially since they’re so young themselves.” Jessica couldn’t hide the frown that crossed her lips. For some reason I get the vibe that Jessica does not like the Cullens. With the glances that she was throwing the children, I assumed it was jealousy. “I think they adopted so many because Mrs. Cullen can’t have kids.” she added as if that negated the kindness of the Cullen parents. A glance back at their table revealed that the Cullens had not moved much. “Have they always lived here?” I asked conversationally. Jessica shook her head. “No, they only moved down from Alaska 2 years ago.” I nodded absentmindedly, my gaze trailing back to the table. I’ll be honest, I was not look respectfully. If i see a hot person, I ogle them. I thought perhaps I saw Beatrice smile but her face turned so quickly I couldn’t be sure.
I was out of questions so I listened half heartedly to the conversations swirling around me and watched the table that held the Cullens until the 4 of them got up together and exited the cafeteria. They were all exceptionally graceful and sure footed. It was deeply unsettling. Beatrice did not look back at me and for a split second I found myself disappointed. I sat at the table longer than if i’d been sitting alone and it made me anxious. I did not want to be late on my first day. Angela, one of my other table mates, offered to walk me to my next class, Biology 2, which we had together. The walk was silent but comfortable. She was shy and it was kind of endearing. I decided I liked her.
When we entered class, Angela took her place with her partner at a black-topped lab table. The familiarity of the table was comforting; it was exactly what we had back home. The issue with Angela having a lab partner was now I did not know anyone else in the class and would have to get to know someone else. My eyes scanned the classroom and I realized with growing horror that the only table without two people held Beatrice Cullen. I swallowed nervously and walked towards the teachers desk to get my slip signed. As I passed her desk, Beatrice went rigid. I met her eyes and the look on her face was shockingly hostile and venomous. Pure hatred, it was not a look that belonged on such a beautiful face. I flushed and and stumbled over a book bag in the walkway. I caught myself on a table and the girl seated there giggled. I scowled. With a jolt I realized Beatrice’s eyes were pitch black. The knot in my stomach tightened.
With my slip signed and new book in hand I was sent to the only empty seat. Without looking at my new partner I sat on the stool and set my belongings down. Immediately Beatrice leaned away from me. Her hands were closed in fists tight enough to turn her knuckles white. Her face was pinched. As inconspicuously as possible I sniffed my hair, just in case I happened to smell bad or something. It smelled like jasmine and honey. Innocent enough, right? I focused my attention on the teacher as he began class. It was all material I’d already mastered in Phoenix. The general gist of today was that I was going to spend a lot of time relearning old concepts at this school. I huffed out a sigh. Throughout the entire class, Beatrice never relaxed her stiff posture. Her sleeves had been rolled to the elbows at some point since lunch. A fact that was very distressing to me because her forearms were absolutely killer. Muscles rippled beneath her skin with each flex of her fist where they rested on her thighs. My mouth was dry. Mid sentence Mr. Banner was interrupted by the nasal tone of the bell. Before anyone else had even moved Beatrice was out the door. I noticed right away she was taller than I’d previously thought. I vaguely recalled the bitterness Jessica displayed while talking about Beatrice and thought maybe she had the right idea not liking the woman.
A voice to my right startled me out of my frozen state. “Aren’t you Ava Silva?” asked a baby faced blonde boy. He seemed very friendly. He obviously didn’t think I smelled bad. I nodded absently gathering my belongings and shoving them unceremoniously into my backpack. “I’m michael. Michael Salvius. It’s a pleasure to meet you Ava.”
“Hi Michael.” I gave him a small smile and started towards the door. He caught up easily. “Do you want help to your next class?” He asked. I paused and shrugged. “Sure, thanks. I have gym next.” His fave lit up. “Cool, that’s my next class too.” Michael was definitely the chattiest person i’d met today. I’m talkative but like, even this was a lot for me. Halfway to gym Michael asked “So, did you stab Cullen or something? I’ve never seen her act like that before. She’s not friendly, but she’s never been openly hostile before.” I cringed. So it was just me then. Fucking great, day one and already making enemies, good job Ava. “Was that who I sat next to?” Michael nodded. “He looked like he was in pain or something. It was weird.” I pursed my lips. “I’ve never even spoken to her, I’m not sure what happened.” Michael took a moment to digest the new information. “Well, I would’ve talked to you if we were partners.” I smiled at him and waved as I entered the gym locker room. Michaels friendliness wasn’t enough to ease my irritation. Coach Clapp found me a uniform but didn’t make me dress out since it was my first day. P.E. was required all 4 years here. So forks was essentially my own personal hell.
I watched as the class was divided up and different teams played volleyball together. I cringed remembering all the injuries i’d caused and sustained during volleyball back home. Nausea pooled in my stomach. At long last, the final bell of the day tolled and I made my way back up to the main office. The wind had picked up considerably. By the time I walked into the office my fingertips were frozen and my cheeks burned with the force of the wind. The office was warm and cozy and I welcomed it. I noticed right away Beatrice was standing at the desk and I nearly turned around, but I froze. She didn’t seem to notice me right away, too busy talking to the woman at the desk. I pressed my back against the wall and held my breath. Beatrice was talking quietly, irritation clear in her tone. The general gist of the conversation was she was trying desperately to switch out of biology to any other class. Something had to of happened to her before class began because there was no way in hell this could be about me. The argument carried on for a few moments before the door opened with a gust of wind. The girl who entered placed a slip of paper into the wire basket on the end of the counter and the exited. I watched Beatrice stiffen. She turned slowly and the full force of her glare was on me then. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end and I couldn’t suppress the full body shiver that overtook me. In that moment I felt very real fear rip through my chest. My heartbeat picked up, and in an instant Beatrice had turned around and was speaking to the woman behind the desk. Her voice was smooth like velvet and i instantly wanted to hear her talk more. “Never mind then, I can see it’s impossible. Thank you for your time.” She did not look at me as she exited the office. Unsteadily I peeled myself off the wall and walked to the desk. “How was your first day, dear?” she asked hopefully. “It went well, thank you.” I mumbled back handing over the slip my teachers had signed. She did not seem convinced.
I was the last car in the parking lot when I finally made it to the truck. I sat in the cab staring blankly for a few minutes out the windshield as I processed the day. When it finally got cold enough to bother me, I cranked the engine and headed back home. I fought tears the entire way home. For the second night in a row I cried myself to sleep. That night my dreams were plagued by the memory of pitch black eyes.