Pepper rushed through the tower heading for the medical wing. Hurrying through these halls with her heart in her throat was far too familiar a sensation, and she realised she no longer even paid attention to the fact that her home even had a medical wing. There were a lot of crazy things she had gotten used to in her life, first just with Tony and eventually with all of the Avengers. But some things, she realized now, she would never get used to and watching helplessly as her family, and the men she loved with all her heart, risked their lives over and over was on the top of that list. Until now she wouldn't even have allowed herself the luxury of running up here immediately after the fight, once she knew that everyone would eventually be alright. Not today, for now the press could go hang, she had more important things to do, and she needed to do this before she lost her nerve for it. There was the very real possibility this would be the worst conversation of her life.
When she finally made it to Tony’s room he was awake. Steve was sitting at his side, still as pale as she felt. From the querulous look on Tony’s face they were arguing, which meant that Steve had told tony not to pull that damned fool stunt, as she had expected. And Tony was surely defending himself with exact calculations of projected civilian casualties if he had listened. The worst part of these arguments was that they were both right. She had been roped into this argument too many times as well, and the worst part was that Tony was right that he was the most versatile member of the team, because he could change the suite as he needed to. She sighed and opened the door. Both men stopped arguing as she entered, turning like sunflowers to follow her movements.
Once in the room she finally got a good look at Tony, and her heart sized at how pale he looked despite his tan and naturally olive skin. She wobbled a bit on her heels and Steve took one hand as she stumbled to Tony and took his free hand in hers. She wanted to gather him into her arms and hold him but could see from the bandages covering his chest and shoulder that it wasn't a good idea so she sagged into Steve as she clung to his hand and held his eyes with hers. For a moment she was tempted to change her mind, to just sink into the comfort of them, to not do this thing now. But her stomach was still churning around that cold lump of helpless fear that hardly ever left her these days. Even if it probably was the stupidest thing she's ever done, she's getting rid of that lump today. She just didn't want to think about what's going to replace it.
Fixing her speech in her mind she breaks the contact much sooner than she normally would. She steps back and wraps her arms around her waist, holding her self in, takes a deep breath and looks at Tony.
"We need to talk." Tony goes even paler at her words and Steve stares at her.
"Pepper, I do think now"
"Now is the right time." She cuts him off. "Now is the only time. I've started now and I've got to say this before I lose it entirely." Steve subsides, but he still looks hurt and off balance, and she doesn't want to make that look worse, but she knows she's going to.
“When I walked in you were having The Argument again. Don’t even try to deny it, it was obvious. I’m sick of this. Steve you are right that Tony takes too many chances. He’s reckless and puts himself in more danger than he should. You’re also a damned hypocrite because when it isn't you and me rushing in here to see Tony, it’s Tony and me rushing to see you, or it’s the three of us looking in on someone else in our family.
Steve, when we decided that we three we going to do this thing, I thought that I would be able to be less scared. Knowing the two of you were looking out for each other out there, and how much you both cared, I thought that it would put me at ease.” She shakes her head. “But instead I’m just twice as afraid. And Tony’s right too, in his side of this argument. He may not be the most powerful one on the team, but he’s the most versatile in the field, which means he can cover almost anyone’s gap, which is what makes him more or less always assume he’s the one for the job.” She glares at Tony again. “But just because you can do a thing doesn't mean you SHOULD. These guys are starting to build traps specifically for you, knowing you will rush into them. I just can’t keep sitting back and watching it, waiting helplessly for whatever is going to happen.”
She had promised herself she would keep it together. This conversation was too important to sob all over. She needed Tony to hear what she was saying, not just react to her emotions, but she couldn't help a few ragged breaths, closer to sobs than she needed them to be. Tony’s face was completely still, and it couldn't have gone any whiter than it was when she walked in, but she could see that he had pulled every bit of his armor except the physical one around him, and his grip on Steve’s hand was white. Steve looked almost as sick as Tony and she hated doing this to them, but this needed to be said.
“I've thought about this from every angle and I've tried to see other answers, but I can’t. This is the only way I can stay sane, and not kill myself with worry.” She looked Tony in the eyes, trying to put everything she felt into her gaze, the sick fear, the constant worry, all they had been through together, and her love for him and Steve that had overwhelmed her life. All of it coming together to this point.
“Tony, build me a suit.”