Chapter 21
Warm steam rises from the covered dish that rests on a blandly colored tray as Athin walks carefully through the hallways, coming to a stop outside a familiar door. Slowly, he repositions the tray to be supported by his left hand while raising the right to knock gently on the door. Dull thuds echo within the room and are met with an exhausted voice from within, “You may enter.” The door slides open with a hiss, allowing Athin to step inside to see Anhiel sitting at a desk reviewing data displayed on the built-in monitor. Dark circles are beginning to form under her eyes and her lids appear to have an artificial weight weighing down on them. Turning her head she offers a half smile to the Miraluka before turning back to the screen. Athin closes the door behind him before moving to the small table in the center of the room, setting the tray down. In a joking, yet concerned voice he addresses the tiring woman, “Even you need to eat, Admiral. The cooks somehow acquired some specialty items at the last stop and prepared what appears to be a special meal for you. They asked that I pass along their regards and that they hope you enjoy it.” A long exhale exits the Admiral’s lungs as she leans back for a moment, “I will be sure to thank them, personally.” Gracefully she rises from her seat despite the increasing exhaustion and makes her way to the small table before sitting once more. She beckons to the seat across from her, indicating Athin should sit as well. As he does, she quietly says “Thank you, Athin.” while pulling the tray closer. More steam rises up as the lid of the dish is removed, revealing what appears to be a large piece of roasted red meat, doused in a brown gravy, steamed vegetables and a pureed starch. Silence reigns in the room, save for the slight clinking of utensils as Anhiel begins eating. Athin’s face is turned just off to the side, feeling awkward as he searches for something to say. A thought pops into his mind, making him sit up as he asks cautiously “How did you discover the planet we are going to?”
Ice blue eyes look up at the man as Anhiel takes another bite of the roasted meat. She leans back in her seat, chewing quietly until she swallows the bite and exhales. “During the time I spent unconscious after…” A pause hangs in the air before she continues, “After my injury, I heard a faint call and received a vision of a hyperspace route I did not recognize. Once I recovered enough to travel, I spent some time in various places meditating, attempting to get a grasp on what happened to me. The vision would often repeat and I elected to attempt the hyperspace route I kept seeing. Although, it was not as simple as programming the hyperdrive.” Athin’s head tilts in curiosity as he queries, “How so?”. Anhiel takes another bite before answering, “I meditated for the duration of the trip and allowed the Force to guide the ship where the computer was not able to. At one point, I came very close to a particularly large black hole consuming a supernova.” A shiver runs down the Miraluka’s spine at the thought of coming anywhere near such a cataclysmic galactic event. A question rises to his mind as he ponders her words, “If it was so treacherous before, how is the fleet going to be able to navigate there safely?” Anhiel sets down her utensils, having finished approximately half of the meal “Sekot showed me a more usable passage during my time there. My original journey was a test and I must admit it was one I nearly failed. I was still quite weak from the injury and maintaining focus and connection with the Force was…difficult.” Pain and sadness fill the woman’s eyes as she looks down at the table while she quietly whispers, “Perhaps I was hoping the journey would be my end. I did not expect that I would make it to my destination.”
Frowning, Athin turns his face towards the woman while adopting a forceful tone “That is ridiculous.” The narrowing of the Admiral’s eyes and straightening of the Miraluka’s posture as he nervously clears his throat happens simultaneously. A clink of utensils being set upon the serving dish cuts into the uncomfortable silence while Anhiel sits up slightly and leans back in her chair. Her narrowed eyes loosen and form into a more inquisitive look as they take in the details of the man across from her. “Why are you here, Athin?” After a moment she clarifies, “What I mean is, why do you remain with the fleet?” Again, Athin clears his throat, shifting in his seat while pondering his response. To his surprise, Anhiel’s aura remained calm and the wound looked ever so slightly smaller. Unsure of the meaning of that observation he responds slowly, “I do not remain with the fleet…I remain with you…Anhiel.” Steeling himself for the worst possible response to his words, he turns his gaze to the side, unable to look directly at the woman. A minute or more passes without either speaking or making a sound before words tinged with multiple emotions float through the room from Anhiel, “I am sorry for my selfishness, Athin. I knew the answer but wished to hear it from you…” The sentence trails off as she looks off at a far wall at the same time Athin returns his gaze to her. She sighs heavily before continuing, “I wished to hear it from you as I did not think it was possible for it to be true.” A wave of relief washes over the Miraluka as he feared outright rejection at the admission but it is quickly replaced by confusion and anxiety brought on by the final sentence. Before he could process his thoughts he questions “You did not think it was possible?” His question is responded to with another question as Anhiel continues to stare at the far wall, her facial features falling as she speaks “Do you really wish to be with someone like me? A broken master haunted by past ghosts whose only skill is war?” Sadness and shame began to radiate through the force as she spoke the words. Sensing the emotions, Athin’s confidence rises, but not to take advantage of the woman’s vulnerability. Instead, he felt a drive to quell the woman’s shaken confidence in herself, making her understand the great things he saw within her. Before the thought even manifested in his mind, the Miraluka’s right hand reached out across the table and gently grasped the woman’s left hand that rested on the small table. The contact shocked the Admiral as she reflexively moved to pull back but Athin’s grip tightened slightly. In a firm tone he speaks, “Words will not do justice to what I see in you. So allow me to show you.” The thundering of the woman’s heart can be felt by Athin through the slender hand he gripped. A reassuring squeeze brings her gaze forward, revealing a timid look nearly making the woman unrecognizable. As she nods slowly, her hand returns the squeeze gently, providing approval without the use of words. Athin offers a smile as he speaks lightly, “Close your eyes, open yourself to the Force and you will see what I see.”
Anhiel complies, exhaling a long breath as she opens her presence to the Force and allows it to expand. Her presence melds with Athin’s, allowing her to see through the Miraluka’s sight. Before her sits a slender woman with an aura that shone brightly around her. At its core was a dark emptiness, lying dormant at the moment. As she studied it, a feeling, perhaps words, or more likely both floated into her mind. “Beautiful.” Without thought, she rebuttals “It is only a mask for the darkness within.” The words and feelings continue, clearly manifesting from Athin as their presences continue to intertwine in the Force. “The darkness is not who you are. It is a sacrifice you choose to make for others, when necessary.” In his quarters down the hall, Joash meditates quietly as he feels the expanding presences of the pair. A smile crosses the grizzled man’s face as his own presence comes just close enough to experience the first exchange. Understanding what was occurring he withdrew his presence, not wishing to eavesdrop further on such an intimate and private moment. Anhiel continues voicing the shortcomings she saw in herself, “I am broken.” “You are wounded, not broken.” “I am weak because of it.” “Dedication to one’s love is not weakness. Surviving the insurmountable breeds strength beyond measure.” “I am angry, devoid of purpose beyond being a weapon.” You are passionate. Those that follow you would not say you have no purpose beyond that. Rend, Sun, Rajavia, Joash and myself have been greatly impacted by your leadership, in positive ways.” Anhiel continues to observe herself through Athin’s lens, pondering his words as she attempts to reconcile her own feelings. “Don’t you see? I do not see the dark, broken, weak woman devoid of purpose beyond war that you feel you are. I see a passionate woman who lost someone so dear to them that it ripped a hole in their soul. Yet despite that, she survived what would have killed most others and instead of hiding, she took it upon herself to continue living. In doing so, she has protected many with her ability to make decisions that most Jedi would not be able to, even risking corruption when necessary to achieve what must be done. She shoulders a weight that would crush most of even the most seasoned of leaders. While she possesses a great physical beauty, she possesses an even greater beauty that only those close to her can see.” Athin’s words pause, allowing Anhiel time to take them in. After what felt like an eternity, but in reality was a handful of quiet minutes, Athin continues, “Most importantly, I see a woman who deserves to forgive herself and feel happiness once more. No one can replace Dulci. Yet, even though the physical bond between you has broken, she will always be with you if you allow yourself to let go of the remnants of your bond.”
Fear radiates through their shared connection, but it is not overwhelming. The white haired woman fears letting go of what remains of her bond to Dulci but intermingled with the fear is a hesitant desire to move on. The desire is hampered by the woman’s doubts that she is worthy of doing so, to search once more for happiness. Gently, the pair’s respective presences in the Force begin to recede, allowing Anhiel’s sight to return to normal. Their hands are still clasped together as a tickling sensation becomes apparent on her cheek. With her free hand she reaches up, wiping the tear that had begun falling from her right eye.They sit in silence for several long moments before Anhiel speaks quietly, nearly whispering “Thank you, Athin, for showing that to me.” The Miraluka inclines his head quietly, observing the woman’s aura as it begins to swirl with her emotions. Concern rises in him at the possibility of another fit starting should she attempt to subconsciously access the bond for strength. It did not come. Instead she continued in the same voice, “It will take time for…for me to finish healing. But if you truly feel as you have shown me and…” As if the ice in her eyes had melted some, the Admiral’s irises showed a previously unseen softness as they gazed directly at Athin’s face. Nervousness, an equally foreign concept when it came to Anhiel, now exuded from the woman and tinted her words as she continued, “And you still desire to be with me despite that, then I wish to do so with you by my side.” A pull on Anhiel’s hand brings her from her chair to a standing position where she is met by Athin who had risen rather quickly from his chair, having moved without thought to pull her close. He stands nearly a dozen centimeters above the small woman, requiring a gentle hand to lift her chin causing the white and silver bangs to fall to either side of her face. Both hesitate, gazes locked together until Anhiel closes her eyes and pushes herself up onto the balls of her feet meeting her new partner halfway as he leaned down. Their lips brush together lightly at first as their opposite hands remain clasped together. Athin wrapped his left arm around the small of her back, feeling the fine fibers of her pristine white uniform as he pulled her closer, their lips now interlocking fully. Neither knew how long the kiss lasted as time faded from existence. Only the beep of Anhiel's communicator seemed to bring an end to it, causing the pair to separate slowly. Anhiel lowered back down onto the whole of her feet as Athin’s arm receded from her back. The clasped hands remained for several seconds though before they both released their grip. Athin cleared his throat as the Admiral moved to grab the communicator, “I will…uh…leave you to it.” After picking up the device, Anhiel turns to him and smiles “Thank you, Athin. For everything. We will talk more very soon.” Athin bows, “I look forward to it.” The communicator clicks on as the Miraluka departs the room, hearing Anhiel’s voice once more as he does, “Go ahead, Commander.”
As the door shuts behind him, he turns to the right to take the few steps to reach the door of his quarters but stops upon seeing an old fossil leaning up against the door with a maniacal grin on his face. Athin clears his throat and speaks in a somewhat flat tone, “Ah, Master Joash, is there something I can do for you?” The grin on the old man’s face widens as he chuckles, straightening and slapping the button to open the door, “Oh I think you know why I am here, lover boy. I told you, you Miraluka are not good at masking your emotions.” Continuing to chuckle, he enters the room, making his way to one of the two lounge style chairs on the edge of the room. Athin sighs, shaking his head before following reluctantly. They converse about the events that occurred between Athin and Anhiel with Joash listening intently, having dropped the humor at the start of the conversation. They continue for nearly two hours until Athin finishes the tale, which elicited a genuine smile from Joash before he spoke. “Anhiel and I may disagree on many things but I have a deep felt respect for that woman. To see her find some form of happiness again has been a wish I have had for these many years. I believe you are the key to seeing that become a reality and that brings a long absent happiness to my heart. Take good care of that woman, she deserves it.” Athin bows his head to Joash, “Thank you for your words, Master Joash. I will do my best.”
On the bridge, Anhiel stands still while she looks out the viewport at the swirling colors of hyperspace, unaware of the conversation that was taking place between Athin and Joash. Her standard stoic expression is presented to those around but it masks the hint of joy she felt within. In an instant, the fleet drops from hyperspace and the bridge is filled with a brilliant red and white light from a nearby supernova with tendrils extending towards the event horizon of the black hole that fed on it. Anhiel chuckles quietly as she remembered her recent conversation with Athin where she had intentionally left out the fact they would have to pass so near to the same event she witnessed on her first trip to the planet. The crew of the bridge stare on in awe before the Admiral’s authoritative voice cuts into their focus, “We are nearly there. Commence the final jump as soon as ready and signal everyone to prepare for arrival. We should arrive in the next three standard hours.” Several minutes later, the fleet disappears once more into hyperspace, hurtling along the last leg of their long journey to Zonama Sekot.