Chapter 2
In the beginning, The Eyepatched One spoke of darkness and light, and an elf named Malekith, who was totes badass in the movie (and not only because he was the reincarnation of the ninth doctor. nope. not at all.).
Blonde Thunder went to retrieve his Star Wars Anne Boleyn, and took her to meet the parents, sexy hammer looked really shiny compared to the less shiny Asgard (my eyes thanks you, whoever made that decision).
Anyway, crazy seems to be the theme, as we see old guys running naked through Stonehenge at some point, old men who also happen to be not so crazy after all because SCIENCE!
Lord of the Emos returns with a shit ton of daddy issues and curly hair that actually does look like it needs a good brushing, and we have a total mama's boy moment in his cell, and Mummy looks really sad and also totes badass.
Black James Bond aka Heimdall aka Pacific Rim Guy returns also looking even more badass, along with Xena Warrior princess, Red Beard and Genghis chan, who spontaneously has a beard. Errol Flynn is there as Robin Hood, a very blond Robin Hood.
But then Mummy DIES.
And, really Marvel?
What has Frigga ever done to you???
As if Loki wasn't messed up enough!!!
The Brothers Shakespeare go on an epic adventure that also includes Blond Fabio's currently spazzy girlfriend, his sexy ass hammer and Buckets of Daddy-doesn't-love-me-and-Mummy's-dead.
Again, Damn You Marvel.
There is a lot of hair flipping and knifing and poling (not as sexy as you'd think) and someone's hand gets cut off but not reaaly and someone sacrifices themselves for the greater good but not really and Eyepatch of Wisdom gives his son his blessing but not really.
And Loki is a lil' Shit.