We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
“They got up here rather speedily don’t you think,” Luke was genuinely confused. Imani had broken through the door. They could hear the zombies on the other side but the door, well… not much had taken place since, “it could be possible that they exerted too much energy to get to the loft, inside, and finally to this door.”
“So, they’re tired?”
“Or refueling,” Luke proceeded to open a search engine on his phone, “it’s a bit concerning to consider the dead as either tired or refueling. They are, you know… dead.”
“Thanks, Captain Obvious,” Ryan released her fighting stance and turned to Mary. Sophie remained in place.
“What are you doing? Now isn’t the time to let our guard down,” Sophie remained in position, eyes focused on the door.
Then you come around again and say
"Baby, I miss you and I swear I'm gonna change, trust me"
Remember how that lasted for a day?
I say, "I hate you," we break up, you call me, "I love you"
“Or we could focus on getting out of here?” she gently turns the taller woman’s face towards her. The impact of the touch rattles her. The moments flash before her eyes. The possibility of Sophie (all of them) but mostly Sophie. Ryan wasn’t one to sacrifice a life but the woman who grated each nerve and always had a witty comeback wasn’t about to die on her watch, “Mary, how long for the jet?”
I'm really gonna miss you picking fights
And me falling for it, screaming that I'm right
And you would hide away and find your peace of mind
With some indie record that's much cooler than mine
“Ryan, I know it feels like time is moving slowly but nothing could be further from the truth,” in Mary’s defense Ryan had repeatedly put this question forward… and by repeatedly, every 5-15 seconds. It was an anxious spiral.
“You’re going first!” It was an affirmative squarely directed at the taller woman.
“What? Ryan, now is NOT the time!” Mary knew what was happening.
“Why would we put our military marksman on the getaway aircraft first?” Luke was flabbergasted by Ryan’s suggestion.
“You bozos are so naive,” the words were both arrogant and slimey, “it’s painfully obvious.”
“What? To who?” perplexed. The brain of the operation was always perplexed by basic human behaviour…like feelings.
Mary gasped, “Ryan… RYan… RYAN RYAN RYAN”
“Why are you shouting?”
“You have feelings!”
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
You called me up again tonight, but
Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
This time, I'm telling you, I'm telling you
“What?” Sophie, stumped by the statement.
The door hinges had begun to creak, “Oh god, oh god,” Luke imagined the misfire of timing, the fumbling decisions about to derail their rescue operation.
“Ryan, she has feelings,” Mary pointed nonchalantly between the two women. Ryan still hadn’t turned her attention away from the military marksperson. Her body wasn’t frozen; she was experiencing an avalanche of thoughts, “feelings for you.”
Sophie let out a maniacal giggle, “I know we are all mentally writing our life resignation speeches but…. Ryan is many things, but delusional isn’t one.”
Luke was spiraling in the corner, audibly counting the seconds until the jet’s arrival, “507, 506, 505, 504. 503, the universe, anybody don’t give up on me, 502, 501, 500, 499, 498.”
“The coroner’s report will read: death by lesbian,” Alice pointed her words at the two Black women currently too distracted to realise that the door was mere moments from being completely broken down.
“Soph…” she hesitated. What was she supposed to do now? She had been made by everyone in the room “I-”
“Ryan,” there was a sense of urgency.
“Soph”
“RYAN”
“Stop interrupting me!” She kissed her. Irrationally, hard then soft. She is on her toes; the shorter woman dragged her downwards. Sophie pushes her off.
“Ryan!”
“I’m trying to tell you something!”
Sophie slapped her!
“What was that for?”.... “you don’t like me”
“Wrong time to ask that question?”
“We could die! This feels perfect if you ask me!”
We (We) are never, ever, ever getting back together
We are never, ever, ever getting back together
You go talk to your friends, talk to my friends, talk to me (Talk to me)
But we are never, ever, ever, ever getting back together
“Are you going to kill Angelique?”
“What?”
The door crashes to the floor. Zombies come charging forward. Jada Jet’s plane is moving ever close.
“Angelique! Shoot her!”
“Kate!”
“What?”
“Luke, remember what we practiced?” Ryan looked at their exes, hooks ups, and hangouts walking towards them. She wasn’t the best at relationships but she didn’t want to add the zombie apocalypse to the list of reasons she was single, “Luke, snap out of it!”
Sophie softened, “Kate, I know you’re in there.”
“I used to think that we were forever, ever
And I used to say, "Never say never"
Ugh, so he calls me up and he's like, "I still love you"
And I'm like, "I just, I mean, this is exhausting, you know?
Like, we are never getting back together, like, ever"
Ryan lunges forward.
“RYAANNNNN”
“DIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”