The Fix
It's a messy battle. At least, from the air, it looks chaotic. Then, as she closes in, she sees them. Her team. They fight wonderfully, side by side, each knowing their place while having each other's back. Kate shoots from a tall building. Noh-Varr jumps from flying enemy to the other, graceful like an acrobat, shooting enemies left and right, making them fall like flies. On the ground, Tommy avoids the falling bodies as he takes out anyone who dares touch the ground, along with David who fights faster and harder than she thinks should be humanly possible. Most aliens are stopped before they can reach the city, though, slowed down by Billy's shields, teleported back to their world. Teddy punches his way through enemies, left and right with something almost resembling joy. Loki is everywhere, appearing here and there with flashes of green, fighting hand on hand and shooting magic long distance.
It is beautiful, perfectly synced, like a symphony. She lets herself smile as she closes in on Kate. Keep it light, keep it happy, let that be their last memory of you.
"Hey, Princess!"
"About time you showed up, Chavez," Kate smirks up at her. She lets go the arrow in her hand, without even looking at her target. Perfect hit.
"Sorry, was busy," she says, landing next to her. She sends a look up towards the portal. "I need to get up there."
"What?"
"To stop them as they are coming in," she says simply.
"Are you nuts?! You can't go up there! The Normalizers-"
"That's why I need you to have my back."
Kate looks at her for a long moment, then nods. "Okay, you got it."
There's a flash of green behind her, announcing Loki's arrival. America tenses.
"It is perfectly alright, we are handling it gracefully," he says. Tone light, happy. She knows that lie, just like she knows the truth behind his words. We've got this. Don't do it.
She smiles at him. Then looks up to Noh-Varr.
"Hey, Noh! Watch my six?"
"I will cover your back, America Chavez."
She nods. Sends Loki and Kate one last look and takes off. She realizes Loki didn't tell them, didn't try to stop them. He knows this is necessary. Good. Maybe that way he won't hate her so much.
She flies up to where Billy and Teddy are fighting. Side by side, like a dance. She hears their flirty banter as she closes in.
"Hey boys!"
"America!" Billy arches his eyebrows. "You shouldn't be here."
"Hey, it's okay, Kate and Noh have me covered," she says. "Don't worry about me."
Billy still doesn't seem perfectly convinced, but his next opponent demands attention. He shots an offensive spell towards the alien, that is sent flying away.
"You're doing great!" America smiles proudly, as she punches away another invader.
"You think?"
"Yeah!" She says, as she slams two aliens against each other, hard enough to make their weird metal bodies dent in.
Billy beams her a wide smile that could light up the whole Multiverse. That will light up the whole Multiverse one day. She got so lucky getting to meet the Demiurge. Most of all, though, she's lucky she got to be his friend.
"Hey, keep an eye on Teddy, yeah? I'm gonna go higher."
Without waiting for an answer, she flies up. And up. And up. Someone calls her name with a warning, but she doesn't listen. She just dives right into the portal.
Okay, here we go.
This is new. It takes a lot of focus for her to stop mid jump, right in the space between the Multiverse and what lies beyond, out of space and time. Around her, there's only emptiness, white and bright. It hurts her eyes, but she doesn't want to close them. Not now.
You can do this, she tells herself, as she focuses on the energy around her. Just like closing a portal. A big, giant, portal. Happy thoughts.
The happy place her mind chooses is surprisingly common —though she should've probably seen it coming—. It's a movie night. She pictures herself warm and safe, curled up in the couch, a silly movie on the screen. She can hear Billy and Teddy laughing, curled up together on the big couch. She can see Kate and Tommy, pressed tightly together too, quietly whispering to each other. Noh-Varr, discussing cultural references with David. She can feel Loki, sitting on the floor, in front of her, his back against her couch, his breathing even and slow.
She comes back to reality, armed with that happy thought that lets her get a hold of the edges of the portal. And now: pull.
A scream leaves her throat as she feels the exhaustion hit her body. The portal fights against her, tries to stretch as she tries to close it. She keeps pulling, harder, non-stop, as she tries to hold on to the happiness in the back of her mind. It gets harder every second, especially as the pain starts to hit her body. Her tattoos shine bright, letting energy flow through her, more and more of herself gone in exchange for strength to close the portals.
A scream breaks the silence. Not hers. Two voices. Her sight is blurry, but she sees them. Standing there, side by side, hands tightly clasped together.
"Moms," the word leaves her lips without thinking, barely a whisper that sounds so much bigger in the emptiness of nothing.
No time. No space. Everything going on at the same time. Ten years ago is happening right in front of her eyes. She keeps pulling, but her mind is slipping away, distracted by the two figures that painfully do their own chore. They hug each other, they cry, they keep pulling. They start shining bright, like stars, even brighter than all the white emptiness around them. She hears them call her name. She closes her eyes, filled with tears. She can't look. She can't bring herself to see what comes next.
"America!" There's a new voice there, more familiar even.
"Billy?!" She opens her eyes, finds her friend flying in front of her, looking tired and ruffled. "No. No! What are you doing here?! You have to go!"
"I can't let you do this alone," Billy smiles, calmly. "Your moms weren't alone."
She keeps pulling, her body tense like it's made of cement, limbs stretched as if she could grab the edges of the portal and get them to close by sheer force.
"No!" She screams, tears falling down her face. "You'll die. You can't-"
"Hey, I'm the Demiurge, remember?" Billy smiles, confident and sweet. His face doesn't scream 'Multiversal Messiah'. "I can give you the strength. Don't you trust me, Princess?"
That last part. That voice. She knows it. Not because she's heard it before, but because it's embedded in the very core of her being, in her very DNA. Her creator. Her god. Her Demiurge. Her friend.
She manages to nod.
Billy is serious now as he rests his hands on her shoulder. Then the flow hits her. His magic is warm, bright, strong. She lets it fill her as she starts to pull once more. The portal moves, slowly but surely, like a machine that only needed to be well oiled. She needs to happy memories anymore. Billy's magic fills her with joy in a way beyond words, even as the exhaustion and pain hit her body in waves, as she can feel herself washed away by the energy spent and renewed by his powers, she can feel nothing but joy.
She keeps pulling with every single fiber of her being, everything she has and is, everything she's learnt. All the pain, all the fights, all the wonders she's seen and done. It all comes down to this. America brings her arms up around Billy, holds him tightly. He hugs her back. His whole body vibrates in sync with the Multiverse, with magic itself, with her. She lets herself take it in, use it, pull the portal's edges closer.
By the time she can see the edges closing in, they are both shaking. She's wrapped around him tightly, so tightly she's sure she would hurt him if he was in a human state. She looks at the edges closing in. Closing, with them in the middle of it. It's time.
She takes in a deep breath, holds on to as much energy as she can. Then whispers a "thank you" in Billy's ear.
"What-" His voice is human as she pushes him back out of the portal. Away where he can live, where he can be who he's meant to be. This is her burden to carry. "America, no!"
He's gone. He'll be too tired to come back.
As soon as Billy's gone, the effort doubles. She can finally feel the real pain, the real exhaustion in her bones, the real despair that comes with it all. She keeps pulling. She screams. She pulls. Tears stream down her face. She pulls. Closer and closer, feeling the darkness close in on her, knowing outside others will live. The whole Multiverse. It's not a bad deal. A few seconds of pain for the sake of the home that took her in, of the infinite worlds she loves, of the friends who gave her a family. She can take a few seconds of pain for them.
She feels a hand on her cheek. Two faces in front of them, blurred by tears. She tries to blink them away, desperately tries to see them.
"You're doing so good, baby," her mom coos.
"We are so proud of you," the other ads, gently.
"Moms," she cries, a single word, filled with all her pain and fear.
"It's okay, darling. It's gonna be okay."
The portal is almost closed. She can feel its edges pressing against her magic, suffocating her like two fingers snuffing out a candle.
"Let go, America."
"I can't!" She cries out, still pulling. "They need me. I have to-"
"They still need you. And you still need them," her moms says softly. "This is not your time. Let go."
She looks at them through the tears, confused.
"Let us do this. Let us help."
"You can't. You're gone."
"We are with you, America," they both say gently, kissing her cheeks. "Always. We love you."
"I love you too."
The portal closed. She let go.
As a god, Loki isn't in the habit of praying. He trusts no gods other than himself, and he certainly doesn't trust the Norns enough to wish for good luck. Still, the moment he sees the portal closing he mentally begs to whatever is out there and willing to listen for a chance, a second more, another idea that could fix this. He gets none of that. Instead, he sees a lonely small figure falling from the skies like a meteorite. His heart stops.
He doesn't stop to think. He pulls all his magic to reach as far as possible towards her, to soften her fall, slow her and bring her to where he's standing.
"Is that her?" Billy asks, still laying on the floor, face carefully cradled in Teddy's arms.
"Oh god," Kate gasps. "Is she-"
There is no need to finish that question. They all hold their breath as the body slowly approaches them. Loki catches her in his arms, kneels down to let her rest on the floor without really letting go of her. She's cold and pale, her body like a rag doll in his arms. It's gut wrenching seeing her like this, so small and gone. No, not gone. Please, don't be gone.
"America?" He asks softly, bringing a hand to her face, fingers trembling as he looks for her pulse. He can't find it. "Come on, Chavez. You're stronger than this. Please."
She suddenly gasps for air, tensing in his arms. He tightens his hold of her carefully as she barely opens her eyes, that find him immediately, staring behind a curtain of thick lashes.
"You told them," she sighs quietly.
He laughs, relieved, brushing a strand of hair off her face.
"Who was gonna keep an eye on me with you gone?" He jokes.
She lets out a weak laugh. It suddenly occurs to him that she may need medical help, even though her body doesn't look hurt. Damn magic.
"I saw my moms," she says softly, catching him by surprise. She looks like she wants to say something else, but her head falls on his shoulder as she passes out once more. He feels her breathing, slow and even against his heart, that finally remembers how to properly beat.
He is suddenly aware of the others surrounding him, watching the scene with attentive eyes. He wants to ignore them, or disappear to somewhere more private where he can make sure she's alright, where they can talk. He does neither.
"We need to get her to Strange."