Chapter 6
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Dr. Banner tossed and turned in his bed. He eventually arose to go fetch himself some juice before going back to work in his lab. His lab, he liked the sound of it. In fact he liked everything about his new apartment. Tony had given him everything without asking anything in return, apart from wanting him to accept the Other Guy as a part of him, as a positive part of him. Unfortunately he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to give Tony that. He determined to make sure the other man had one good meal a day though; he could at least give him that. He smiled in remembered pleasure at how much Tony had appreciated his cooking. He stopped when he reached his dimly lit kitchen. A man sat at the counter picking through the leftovers of the casserole. “Uh…Hawkeye right?” The man had frozen like a deer in high beams.
“Uh…maybe?” Barton responded trying to magically melt into the counters behind him, which never works. Bruce moved further into the room.
“What are you doing in my kitchen?” Bruce asked evenly. Hawkeye looked around frantically trying to spot an exit.
“Uh…nothing?” He said guiltily, quickly putting the fork in his hand down on the counter. Bruce smiled slightly at the image of the guilt stricken assassin.
“You know if you’re hungry you could have asked, instead of sneaking in my place in the dead of night to steal my cooking.” Bruce said. Hawkeye tried to move past Banner.
“Yeah…sorry about that.” He said. Banner walked toward the fridge to get himself the juice he wanted.
“It would taste better if you heated it up.” Bruce added suddenly. Clint paused and slowly gulped.
“It probably would. Do you mind if I have some?” He asked politely. Bruce smiled slightly at him.
“Be my guest.” He said.
“Thanks man.” Clint said relieved as he moved back into the kitchen to begin heating up some food in the microwave.
“No problem.” Bruce said. He sat at his table and poured himself a glass of cranberry juice. “So how do you like your floor?” He asked. Barton looked over hiding his nervousness.
“Its nice.” He replied simply. Banner smiled at what he was sure was an understatement.
“I’ve actually got a reflecting pool complete with a Zen garden, bongo drums, and about a pound and a half of weed. Tony likes to go all out.” Bruce finished fondly. Clint snorted.
“Yeah, I noticed. Stark likes to brag.” Barton said unkindly as he took a seat across from him with a plate of casserole in hand.
“Brag?” Bruce asked carefully. Barton gestured with his hands.
“About his wealth and power. He’s trying to buy us and it’s just pitiful.” Barton said sneering. Banner had to wrestle the Other Guy for a moment, breathing deeply.
“Buy us? You know for someone who is supposed to be good at reading people you are terrible at it.” He said as calmly as he could.
“Stark tricked you man, he’s a pretentious sex-obsessed asshole. Everyone knows that.” Barton said condescendingly. Bruce lost control for a brief moment and his eyes bled green, scaring Clint into startling backwards in his chair.
“Well I only judge people by what they do. Tony’s been nothing but kind, brave, and generous since I’ve known him. That’s the sort of man he is. I suggest you keep your biased conclusions to yourself, and judge him for his actions. By the way if you do or say anything to hurt him, I won’t be held responsible for what the Other Guy does to you.” Banner finished with a snarl before leaving the spy behind and heading to his lab. Clint’s heart beat quickly at the near miss he had just had. Then he stared off after the retreating figure of the doctor and shook himself.
“I just got shovel talked by the Hulk. My life is ridiculous.” He murmured disbelievingly to himself, before heading back up to his own floor, stealing the last of the delicious leftovers on his way out.
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(2.5m)abny
Tony was binge working in his lab when the call came through. “Sir, Fury is on the line.” JARVIS said. Tony winced.
“Put him through.” Just hearing Nick Fury's voice stiffened his spine.
“Stark, there’s an emergency at the Baxter Building get there now and bring Barton and the Hulk. You’re going to need them.” Fury hung up before Tony could respond. He hated when other people did that. He was supposed to have the last word. He speedily grabbed up what he was working on and ran for the elevator, having JARVIS alert the others. He stopped at Banner’s floor and brought him with him up to Barton’s. Clint was standing at the elevator doors agitated but suited up. Tony pulled him in.
“I’m not on active duty Stark, I don’t even have a bow.” Clint protested. Tony threw the bow and arrows he had been working on at him.
“There’s your bow, Katniss, and you’re cleared for duty.” Tony said. Clint blinked at him, stunned.
“Since when? …You talked to SHIELD psych didn’t you?” Clint asked in awe. Tony smirked.
“Better, I stuck Pepper on them, you also got a substantial raise in salary by the way.” Stark said grinning.
“This isn’t my bow…” Clint said wonderingly, stroking the dark metal links that made up his new weapon.
“I made it, your last one was shit. SHIELD R&D sent me the schematics. I also upgraded your arrows. Looks like you’ll have to learn how to use them on the job.” Clint nodded pleased and strapped the arrows and bow behind his back.
“Fine by me. Thanks S-Tony. You’re an upright guy.” Clint said sincerely. Tony looked off to a corner of the elevator as Bruce smiled.
“Whatever.” Tony muttered.
“How bad is it?” Bruce asked, hoping that he wouldn’t be needed after all. They reached the penthouse and ran to the balcony. They could see the Baxter Building from where they stood. A large portal stretched above it, hundreds of huge purple tentacles reaching through it to wrap around the building and the Fantastic Four. Tony swallowed at the sight of the portal, trying not to have a panic attack as he stared at it.
“Bad, Bruce, really bad.” Tony said feelingly closing his eyes briefly before pulling himself together. They hopped into the waiting Quinjet and flew out to meet the portal.
“There is no way that’s possible.” Clint whispered as they looked at the insanity before them.
“Well since we’re seeing it, I’d have to say that it is fucking possible.” Tony snapped with a glare at what his eyes were seeing.
“I guess you’re going to need the Other Guy.” Bruce said sadly.
“I guess we are.” Tony agreed.
“I hope you don’t regret it.” Bruce said, preparing himself to change and attack the creature they were fast approaching.
“Don’t you know me at all Brucie, I regret nothing.” Tony said flippantly. Clint looked over at Tony in his plain clothes.
“Aren’t you going to suit up?” He asked. Tony held up a flask from his pocket and an arc reactor.
“Already on it.” He said. Clint looked at him skeptically.
“You’re drinking at a time like this?” Tony tipped the large flask over and a shimmering powder flew out.
“I wish.” Tony said, as the powder swirled around and attached to him like a load magnet and solidified into the familiar red and gold suit, the arc settling in the center of his chest as if it had never been anywhere else.
“Whoa.” Clint said in admiration. Bruce had already seen the show before and had even helped him work on perfecting the replicating sand that made up the armor.
“What’s the plan?” Bruce asked.
“Slap Richards for causing this, and kill the tentacle thing? Oh and rescue the Fantastic Four.” Tony said mechanically behind his helmet.
“Good plan, simple, I like it.” Clint said as they reached the building’s roof. Tony flew out taking Clint with him as Bruce jumped turning into the Hulk midway. The jet flew away, taking a clipping hit from a tentacle as it went. Iron Man dropped Hawkeye at the nearest safe perch and then went to blast his repulsors at the tentacles currently wrapped around the Invisible Woman and her force field bubble. Hawkeye shot at the appendages knotted around Mr. Fantastic, while the Hulk roared deafeningly and punched at the suckers attached to the Thing. The Human Torch seemed to be faring the best against the creature, although the appalling smell of burned calamari suffused the air. After freeing Susan Richards, Tony flew over to Mr. Fantastic and tried to free him as well, while avoiding the whipping tentacles himself.
“Reed, what the fuck were you thinking?!” Tony yelled, dodging a striking appendage. Reed began extricating himself from the tentacles he was straining to hold immobile.
“Tony, I had nothing to do with this!” He yelled back.
“Yeah right!” Tony said sarcastically. Reed’s head stretched towards him.
“Really, was not me. This fluctuating gravitational anomaly just appeared and then this…cephalopod creature started reaching through it. I have no idea how this happened.” Reed said succinctly. Tony fought off a particularly clingy tentacle sweeping around him.
“Reed-“ He began heatedly.
“Sir you have to see this!” JARVIS said urgently from within his helmet. A news feed popped up in the corner of his HUD. A frazzled woman spoke fearfully with a British accent. Spaceships, portals, and a brief glimpse of a flying figure in red cape showed in the background behind her.
“Random portals containing alien ships and creatures are appearing all over the London skies. The hero, Thor, from the alien invasion in America, currently seems to be fighting these creatures-” Tony cut the feed and used his speakers to inform the rest of the heroes of what was up.
“Shit. Guys we are in more trouble than we thought!” Tony said.
“How is that possible?” Clint muttered casting an electrical arrow.
“What now?” The Thing asked in a rumbling growl, while pulling apart two tentacles at once. Hulk heaved at a huge one ripping it off from whatever was buried inside the dark of the portal. He then began cheerfully whipping the detached tentacle at the other limbs.
“There are more portals appearing in London, they don’t seem to be having to deal with slimy tentacles though, just regular vanilla aliens.” Tony said.
“Lucky them!” The Human Torch yelled. Mr. Fantastic frowned.
“We can’t spare anybody, we’re strapped as it is!” Reed Richards said.
“I know, Thor’s on the scene, he’s going to have to handle it by himself.” Tony said, grimacing.
“He’s a god isn’t he, so I’m sure he’s good.” Johnny Storm said reassuringly as he flew by, flaming a flailing limb that was sneaking behind Hawkeye.
“Do you have a way to close this?” Tony huffed out annoyed as a tendril struck his repulsor boot a glancing blow causing him to do a somersault. Reed contemplated the portal for a moment noticing the gravitational ripples it was causing.
“The portal is in flux, if we increase the fluctuation…” Reed began thoughtfully.
“We could implode the portal!” Tony finished gleefully.
“Yes!” Richard’s agreed excitedly. Tony hit the ground and clapped his hands.
“Then lets get to it. I’ll need Cap Jr. and Hawkeye, bring the firepower you two, the rest of you keep that bastard’s slimy paws away from us!” Tony yelled as he flew back up and reluctantly positioned himself closer to the middle of the portal, readying his unibeam.
“I’m not Cap Jr. Tony! I don’t look anything like Captain fucking America!” Storm shouted angrily. Mr. Fantastic frowned at his brother-in-law.
“You heard him Johnny, go help.” He said. The Torch flew off to fire his hottest flame at the void, floating next to Tony. Hawkeye found his new explosive arrows and prepared to cast them. Hulk, Thing, Mr. Fantastic, and the Invisible Woman, ran interference, preventing them from being attacked. Tony, Johnny, and Clint, released their most damaging weapons at full blast all at the same time towards the open portal. When the weapons hit, there was a large booming sound. The portal shimmered and then exploded in a wave that cut off all the tentacles waving outside it and blasted everyone from their feet. After everyone recovered they reconvened at the middle of the roof.
“Well that was some kind of awful.” Hawkeye understated.
“Yep.” Ben Grimm agreed simply slapping the assassin on the back gently. Hulk moved closer to Tony.
“Tin man! Fight over?” Hulk asked. Tony's faceplate retracted as he reached up and patted Hulk’s thigh.
“Yeah man, you did great!” Hulk narrowed his eyes.
“You not fall.” Tony grinned.
“Can’t be the damsel in distress all the time Kermit.” Hulk huffed and pouted.
“I not Kermit, I Hulk.”
“I know, I know you’re Hulk, do you know who that is?” Tony asked pointing at Hawkeye, curious to hear his answer.
“Feathers.” Hulk said. Tony laughed.
“Yeah, that’s Feathers.” Tony couldn’t wait to tell Clint Hulk’s name for him.
“Want puny Banner back?” Hulk asked. Tony looked up at his liquid green eyes.
“Hulk, you know you can stay here for a bit if you want?” Tony asked. Hulk tilted his head the opposite way Bruce usually would and considered.
“Nothing to do here, but want to fight rock man.” Hulk nodded toward the Thing. Thing looked up while rubbing some slime from his body.
“Uh maybe later, ok buddy?" Tony said quickly. Hulk grinned and began to shrink down into a tired, rumpled doctor holding up his ripped slacks awkwardly.
“Hey Brucie.” Tony greeted.
“Hey Tony. Looks like we won.” Banner said, looking down at the ground littered with still twitching violet tentacle pieces.
“Oh and look Hulk didn’t hurt anyone but the bad guy-thing.” Tony said with mock innocence.
“That’s…good.” Bruce said with a small exhausted smile. The Thing asked Bruce if he would like to pick out some clothes from his wardrobe. Bruce smiled gratefully and followed Ben into the Baxter building, while Tony checked the news feeds.
“Looks like Thor’s handled his end of things.” He said relieved.
“Awesome.” Johnny said, exhausted.
“I wonder why a portal opened up here?” Reed wondered aloud.
“The world may never know.” Hawkeye intoned. Johnny rolled his eyes.
“Are you a tootsie roll pop or what?” He said. Tony rubbed his hands together.
“So anybody up for Shawarma?” Tony quired. Hawkeye stared at him.
“Are you going to ask that after every fight we have?” Barton asked.
“Maaaybe.” Tony answered playfully putting a metal pinky beside his lips.
“What’s Shawarma?” Susan asked. Johnny Storm flopped on the ground.
“I couldn’t move an inch.” Johnny groaned.
“Awesomeness in a wrapper. I’ll go pick some up, be back in a tic.” Tony said, before flinging himself off the roof and zooming away. The others watched him leave. The Thing and Bruce came back up to the roof. Bruce decently clothed.
“So, thanks for the assist.” Susan said to Banner kindly.
“No problem.” Bruce replied swimming in some of Ben Grimm's old clothes from before he became the Thing.
“So you’re Cap Jr.?” Clint asked Johnny with a smile, seeing the remarkable resemblance.
“Am not!” Johnny snapped, his fists briefly lighting on fire. Susan's eyes gleamed mischievously as she put a cool hand on her brother's shoulder, calming him.
“We’ve looked into the family tree, absolutely no relation whatsoever.” She said. Hawkeye grinned.
“So he gives you guys nicknames too, I thought that was just us.” Hawkeye said.
“Nope.” Ben said with a put upon grin.
“What’s yours?” Bruce asked him curiously.
“Rockbiter.” Bruce chuckled. Hawkeye looked at Mr. Fantastic. Reed sighed, resignedly.
“Armstrong.” He said. Hawkeye threw his head back and laughed, clutching his sides.
“As in Stretch Armstrong? That’s hilarious! What about you?" He asked still chuckling, nodding at the Invisible Woman.
“He calls me Susan, you can too if you want.” She said with a wink. Reed wrapped an arm around her doubly, pulling her closer.
“Mrs. Richards.” He emphasized. Susan slapped at his arm.
“Oh come on Reed, they helped us out, we should at least be on a first name basis with them.” She said.
“I’m Clint, Clint Barton.” Barton said, kissing her hand. Reed scowled and rolled his limbs back to himself.
“Bruce.” Banner said shyly shaking Susan’s hand. The smile she sent back at them reached her eyes.
“I’m going to go get my instruments and examine the leftover residue from the portal.” Richards said, almost running away. Tony flew up with plastic bags hanging around his arms.
“I’m back with Shawarma!” He yelled happily.
“What is it with you and Shawarma?” Hawkeye muttered to himself.