Chapter 2
Sam and Five watched the monitors, hands touching, eyes searching for zombies. Maxine and Paula met up after their McShell.
“Are we clear of zoms, guys?” Paula asked, breathy and quiet.
“All good.” Sam replied.
“Good. Then I have a second for this.” She pulled Maxine into a hug and gave her a quick kiss. “Glad to be back by your side.” She grinned. Through the grainy cameras, Five saw Maxine lean in slightly to take in as much of Paula as she could before they started running again.
“Huh. If you were to switch out Five and Maxine, this would really feel like old times again, wouldn’t it?” Sam asked, thoughtfully. “We have somewhere to live, Five’s back. Veronica is keeping our people safe at Abel, for now. I think we can trust her. If Sigrid weren’t trying to hunt us down and kill us, it would almost be nice. I mean, I feel a bit used to the zombies. Not that you ever really get used to them.”
“It helps if you’ve been one before, right Five?” Paula joked. Five let out an actual laugh.
“Yup. Sure does.”
“I mean,” Sam continued cautiously, his gaze far off. “You think you’re used to them. But then you see…I saw one with a Daredevil T-shirt the other day. The Ben Affleck Daredevil. And it made me think about how that was the Daredevil that person related to. I’ll never be able to ask them why. Maybe it was just the last clean t-shirt that day. Anyway - what I mean is that this is all right for the zombie apocalypse, isn’t it? It’s …hopeful. I’m hopeful people in the Ministry might want to help us. I’m optimistic. There’s an election coming up. Maybe Sigrid will be voted out. And the rebels have a message for us. There’s not far to go, and when you come back we’ll have our game night and I’ll play some lesser-known Duran Duran for Five.”
Five finally felt herself relax for the first time all day. Sam’s optimism could sometimes feel overwhelming, far-reaching. But the feel of his hand, the hope in his voice, the way he tilted his head ever so slightly in concentration - it made Five want to believe so badly that it broke her heart.
“Sounds like you did amazingly well with Sigrid by the way, Five. You really had her believing you were on her side.” Five blushed at Paula’s compliment, but not for the reason Sam was thinking.
“Aww, Paula. I think you made her blush!”
They were all laughing.
Maxine was remarking about Five being Sigrid’s “special friend.”
Sam’s eyes were practically twinkling when he looked over at Five. Five managed a smile in return and sat back, releasing her tense muscles. Everything was fine. Normal. Peaceful.
Until it wasn’t.
They heard the gunshots first.
Then the southern facing cams revealed where the shots came from.
“Um, guys. Some of Sigrid’s soldiers are at your five o’clock.” Sam warned.
“I’m sure they haven’t seen you.” Five said. “Or they” wouldn’t have missed “would still be shooting.”
“Do you think it's a coincidence? They just happened to be running maneuvers in the woods, just happened to be behind us?”
“I’m getting Janine. Five - keep watch.” Sam left quickly.
More gunshots.
“Be fast. Go!” Five’s legs bounced in frustration. Paula was running point but she wasn’t going fast enough. If Five were on point, she would have kept a faster pace. Paula was a good runner, efficient. Smart. Not fast. No wonder why Sam is always stressed, having to watch all of this.
“Dr. Cohen, Dr. Myers. We think you’ve stumbled into a military exercise by the Minister’s troops, but there’s every chance they'll find you if you continue to run to your target.” Janine grabbed a headset and squished a chair between Sam and Five, nearly knocking Five over in the process.
“So we’re aborting?” Sam asked, sounding somewhere between disappointed and relieved.
“Not possible, Mr. Yao. We don’t want to lose the trust of our allies. My brother and Miss Marsh have proposed a distraction.”
“Ah, well. I know they’ve been cooking something up together.”
“They’ve not been cooking something up, Mr. Yao. They are both highly trained professionals. They have a military operation to put into effect.”
“We’re in position, Janine!” Jody said through her mic, a cheerful undertone conflicting with the danger surrounding them. Five raised an eyebrow and looked past Janine, glancing at Sam, who was purposefully not looking at her. His mouth twitched with silent laughter.
“We have the target in our sights. Jody, you have the special arrows?”
“I can’t believe you managed to find me an automatic crossbow! I love it!” Jody laughed. Five leaned back in her chair to find Sam doing the same. They made eye contact behind Janine’s back.
“Are they together?” she mouthed. Sam nodded. Five hid a snort of laughter and Sam stifled a giggle behind his hand.
“I do not know what the two of you are doing, but if you cannot be professionals together then Five will be reassigned.” Janine snapped. Five sat up and put her eyes on the monitors.
Jody fired an arrow in the general direction of the soldiers, who immediately started shooting at it as though they were under attack.
With the soldiers distracted, Paula and Maxine had a clear run to the laundrette.
“You’ll have to scout inside the building to find the message from our contacts.” Janine said, and stood up to leave. She was removing her headset when Paula said,
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Oh, crap.” Sam said. Janine sat back down and put her headset on.
“It’s full of Sigrid’s soldiers.” Paula whispered.
“It’s a trap.” Five and Sam said at the same time.
“I just…I’m not…” Maxine stuttered.
“You don’t think it’s a trap?” Sam asked.
“No, it obviously is. It’s just…why are they not on us already?”
“Perhaps Tom’s ploy has them distracted still.” Janine suggested.
“I mean…” Maxine took a breath and put her hands on her knees as if steadying herself. “Is it too much to ask? After all we’ve been through? Mind control, plasmapheresis, I thought Paula was dead, you thought I was dead, we all thought Five was dead, and Paula keeps letting herself get bitten, and all of our friends are trapped in a prison camp with a lunatic in charge, and Owen is dead, and I liked him and wanted him to be happy. And I gave birth to a baby in a damn field, Sam! In a field full of landmines! And Five comes back but she’s clearly hurt and is it TOO MUCH TO ASK to catch a freaking break and get a trip to the laundrette without it turning out to be a freaking trap? Is it, though? Is it?” Five realized she’d been holding her breath. She let it out slowly as Maxine choked back a sob. No, things definitely haven’t been a party while you were away.
“Dr. Myers.” Janine’s voice was stern. “Please try…” her voice trailed off. She paused. When she spoke again, it was gentle. “What am I talking about? No, of course it’s not too much to ask. The whole situation is grotesquely unfair and I can hardly stand it myself. None of us can. But for whatever reason, the Minister’s soldiers haven't spotted our runners yet, so we are going to win this one. Runners?”
“Maxie, we are going to find a way home to our daughter.” Paula said firmly.
“Of course you are. On my mark, run like the wind for that small copse of trees. Three, two, one. Run!”
Maxine and Paula ran to the trees. Five kept her eyes firmly glued to the monitor. She couldn’t look over at Sam. Not now. It was hard enough to hear pain in Maxine’s voice, she couldn’t stand to see it in Sam’s face. When they were safely among the trees, Maxine apologized.
“I’m sorry. I tell myself every day that I should just, you know, enjoy the day. None of us know if we’ll get another one. And we’re more secure now than we have been in months. And Runner Five is home. I don’t know. Sometimes it’s just all a bit…much.”
Janine responded but Sam was watching Five dab at her eyes.
“Do…do you want a hug?” Sam asked, timidly, leaning forward to see around Janine.
“What? No!” Janine snapped.
“I was asking Five, Janine. And Maxine, you’ll be getting one as soon as you get home.” Sam took off his headset, squeezed his way past Janine’s chair, and wrapped his arms around Five from behind. Paula and Janine continued to talk for a moment but Five was whispering to Sam.
“Thank you. I’m sorry.”
“Do not apologize. You’re doing great.” Five gave his arm a squeeze and he returned to his spot.
“...and head for that church at your 12 o’clock. See it?” Janine was finishing.
“Huh. That’s weird. The church bell is ringing.” Sam was squinting at the monitor.
“Eh, some people left them loose to ring - remember? If there were zoms in town? Like the old plague bells.” Maxine said, out of breath from running.
“Oh yeah.” Sam laughed. “That feels like so long ago. It really has been an eventful apocalypse, hasn’t it?”
“Compared to what - all the other apocalypses?”
“Well, Maxine.” Sam put on his most formal voice. “This apocalypse is adequate, but really the rotten flesh is a little obvious, you know? Frankly I prefer the subtlety of the uh, uh…. Five, what’s that less showy apocalypse?”
“I’d go with the asteroid collision. It was loud but it didn’t drag on.”
“I don’t know. Nuclear winter is a nice, quiet, quick apocalypse.” Paula chimed in. Janine covered her face with her hands.
“Laundry.” Sam said.
“Ah!” Maxine laughed. “The laundry apocalypse. I thought we were never going to talk about the time Sara managed to get poop-”
“No, no. Laundry. Laundry! Look over there. A van with the word ‘laundry’ written on it. Guys, maybe we weren’t supposed to go to the laundrette. Maybe we were supposed to find that van instead?”
Paula and Maxine turned and started running toward the van. They lost a small pack of zoms that gave chase for a bit.
“There’s a little white van with ‘laundry’ written on it approaching the village. Uh, actually it looks like one of those modified electric golf carts the Ministry sometimes uses to hand out election materials.”
Five froze. She pictured Ian in his stupid golf cart, shouting into a megaphone, spit flying, arms gesturing. Her pulse sped up. Ian puttering back to Abel in his golf cart. Ian leaving her to run behind him. Thinking about Steve. Never worrying about Owen. She should have worried about Owen.
Her breathing became quick and uneven. Her hands were shaking. Her mouth was dry. She needed water. She needed air. She tugged at the collar of her t-shirt. It was too tight. She was choking. She was drowning.
Sam noticed.
Sam always noticed.
“Janine, take over for a minute, would you?” Sam moved over to Five and knelt down next to her. “Come into the hallway with me.” He tried putting his hand on hers to make sure it was okay. She didn’t swipe at it so he took her hand and led her outside the door.
“Countdown?” He asked. She nodded, leaning herself against the wall. Sam stood in front of her, careful not to touch her. “Five…four…three…two…” Her breathing was still ragged. “One and a half…one and a quarter…one…” Her eyes were closed. She was shaking out her legs and hands. “...three quarters… half...how small should I go?”
Five looked at him and attempted a laugh. She shook her head. “I’m sorry.” She wheezed. “So sorry. It was that stupid cart. I just…remembered stuff.” She took a few more deep breaths. Sam took a minute to take in the person standing before him. She was not the same Five that left. What happened to her? Sam wanted nothing more than to cuddle with her under a blanket with a cup of tea and hide her away until she was whole again. But that wasn’t what she wanted. Or what she needed. It seemed like quiet time made her unhappy but being on comms wasn’t working either. At least not for now.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Five whispered.
“I’m sorry. I’m just not sure what I should do next.” Sam admitted.
“Five seconds.” She shrugged. “That’s all I get, right? Then I have to be a badass. So - let’s go be badasses and bring Maxine and Paula home.”
“Five, I -”
“Sam. I’m fine. Please. I just want to go back in.” He could see that her hands were still shaking. He saw the frown line between her eyebrows. He put his hand on her shoulder and she stiffened. “Please.” She whispered.
“Ok. After you.” He gestured to the door. I hate what this has done to her.
When they took their seats and put their headsets back on, Paula was reading a message from The Laundry.
“The Exmoor Militia accept your invitation to parley. Janine, did we invite the Exmoor Militia to parley?”
“We need allies if we are to defeat Sigrid. You all know. We need powerful allies.” Janine explained.
“And do you know whether the people with the reputation for ruthless violence and every reason to be ticked off with us really want to parley, or are they just up for taking some mafia-style vengeance on us?” Maxine asked.
“That is unclear at this juncture. We may have to resort to subterfuge.” Janine said, calmly.
“The note says to wear these sweaters to identify ourselves.” Paula continued reading. “There’s a day and some coordinates. Huh. These are…interesting.” Paula and Maxine each held up a gaudy yellow sweater with an insignia over the breast. Underneath was written, “We are undaunted.”
“I don’t know.” Maxine said. “Can we wear them around the base? I think there’s a great role playing opportunity here.” She and Paula held the sweaters up to each other and giggled.
“Okay, you two. Time to run home.” Sam chuckled. Janine shook her head and left without saying anything. She did give Five a side glance, as if double checking to make sure she was okay. Five kept her gaze forward on the monitors and warned Maxine of a shadow coming from under the shrubbery that could have been a branch, could have been a zombie arm. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Janine nod curtly and continue out the door.
Sam and Five didn’t have to do much talking to guide the two runners home, as it was remarkably uneventful considering how it began. Paula and Maxine were discussing role playing ideas with the sweaters, which didn’t leave any awkward silences to fill. The route home was largely screened by a fence.
“Everyone is home safe.” Sam breathed once they were in the elevators and heading underground. Five yawned and stretched.
“I’m going to go take a nap.”
“Okay. Do you want company or alone time?”
“Alone time. Thanks, though, Sam. I won’t need long. Just some quiet and a power nap until dinner.”
“Take the time you need.” Five walked over and put herself comfortably in his lap. He could feel that she was still a little shaky and he gently put his hand on her leg.
“It’s only been a few days. I’ll be okay. It’s just that everything is still so…” she trailed off and closed her eyes. She yawned again. “I think maybe everyone was right and it was a little too early to start working on missions.”
“Sorry. Say that again?” Sam cupped his ear with his hand. Five grabbed his hand away and held it. She put her head down on his shoulder.
“Maxine was right. I was wrong. I should have been -” Five swallowed dramatically. “Resting.” She made a big dramatic show of that word being hard to say.
“Is it okay to kiss you right now?” Sam asked, sounding quiet and timid. “It’s just that…I’m so…” his voice was serious. He really seemed to be struggling. Five continued to hold his hand and gave him an encouraging look. “I’m so proud of you for finally admitting you should be resting. This is a big moment. I don’t think I’ve ever heard those beautiful words from you.”
Five hit him playfully.
“You jerk. I thought you were going to be all sweet and romantic and stuff.”
“Nah.” Their foreheads were leaning on each other. Five tipped his chin up so his lips met hers. It was a quick, simple kiss, but there was no flash of bad memories, no flinching, no flight reflex. Just FiveandSam.
“I’ll be in our room. I’ll see you later.” Five got up and headed to the door.
“Thanks, but I won’t be looking for you. Get some rest!” He called after her.
Five headed toward her room. She had every intention of going straight to bed and sleeping for hours. As she passed a different door, though, she found herself stopping and knocking. Peter opened the door wearing nothing but an oversized Stone Roses t-shirt.
“Five! You are…not who I was expecting.”
“This was an unplanned stop. I just needed a chat.” Peter shrugged.
“Come on in.” Five hesitated.
“You, ummm, are wearing pants under that, right?” Peter flashed a grin and lifted the shirt to reveal a pair of white boxer shorts adorned with little red hearts. “Oh, good. And, ummm, you weren’t, like, waiting for some very special company?”
“Chuffing hell, Five. Just come in.” Peter stepped aside so she could get through the doorway. “So what brings you to my little corner of Noah Base?”
“I needed to talk to a friend.”
“And Sam was busy?”
“Actually, no.” Five paused and looked around, wondering where the least awkward place would be to put herself. She had never actually been in Peter’s room before. It was not what she was expecting. There were no pictures or posters hung on the walls - everyone else had found something around the base to bring some personal style to their room. Even Janine found old maps of the base to decorate with. Peter’s were stark. He hadn’t moved any extra furniture in. There was only the standard issue cot and a steel desk. He didn’t even have a chair because clearly the desk had never been used. On top of it lay only a few articles of folded clothing and a cup of water. “Peter -” she gestured around. “What is with this room? It looks like a prison.”
“Yeah, well.” Peter’s face reddened slightly. It was kind of sweet. “I’m not sure I should get comfortable here.”
“What?”
“I don’t know that anyone really trusts me. And maybe they shouldn’t.” He shook his head and spoke his next sentence quickly. “I mean, they don’t know me.”
“Riiight.” Five drawled.
“I could be anybody, you know? I could be some complete nutter off the street.”
“I mean, your last name is Necropolis. That is strange.”
“Right.”
“But then again, you are a doctor. Tell me, Dr. Necropolis,” Five suppressed a grin. “What exactly are you a doctor of?”
“I have my PhD in Zombies.” He muttered. Five laughed.
“Don’t we all?”
“Five, did you come here to harass me about my name or did you have something in mind?” Five gave up thinking and flopped on the bed.
“I had something in mind.” Peter sat on the top of the desk and crossed his legs. Five tilted her head and watched him curiously. His frame was so small compared to who she thought he really was. His voice was different, too. Maybe I’m wrong. Maybe I just want my best friend back so badly that I’m imagining things. She realized how long she’d been quiet. Peter was patiently staring at her. Peter broke the silence.
“Tell me again why you’re here with me and not talking to Sam?” Five scoffed.
“Sam. No. I - I needed something besides optimism, you know?”
“Well then you definitely came to the right person.” Peter chortled.
“Abel sucked, Peter. It was unimaginably bad. It started by being tased and tossed into a cell. They’d wake me just to beat me. Not they. Ian. It was always Ian. If Steve was ever there, it was always under Ian’s watch. He was there. Directing. The smell. I remember his smell.” Five had to take a deep breath. But now that she started talking, she couldn’t stop. She was careful not to mention Moonchild. If Peter was who she thought he was, he had died to free everyone of Moonchild. He shouldn’t know she was still around. “And then there was Steve. Oh, God. Peter. You are so right about me. I fell for every single word he said. Every line. All he had to do was look at me and…what is wrong with me? I’m a fool.” She told Peter how they slept together and how they slept together. “But he was keeping me safe, though, you know? Because sometimes when he wasn’t there at night…Ian. He would come and…visit. I fought him, though. I did. You know I can defend myself. I wish I was as good at defending other people.” Here she paused. She closed her eyes and looked down. She felt her stomach drop, like she was pitched down a hole. “I couldn’t defend Owen.” She told him how she had spent an entire evening covered in Owen’s blood. “And then they tried to turn me into a zombie, and I was as good as dead. I thought I was dead. Sam thought I was dead.”
Peter, for his part, had stayed silent the whole time she talked. She paused and he simply nodded. Five decided to keep going. There was a reason she was saying all of this to Peter, and it wasn’t just his lack of optimism.
“Coming back from certain death is hard.” She said, pointedly. She stood up and walked to where he was still sitting on the top of his desk. She put her arms on either side of his knees and leaned in, looking him directly in the eyes. I know those eyes. I’ve looked in these eyes before. “Why do some of us get to come back and not others? Why did I get to survive my time there when I did so many awful things? Why didn’t Owen get to come back when all he did was try to help?”
Peter was wiping a tear from Five’s cheek that she didn’t realize had fallen. His eyes sparkled with tears of his own that he blinked back.
“I don’t know, Five.” He finally said. “Maybe you’re still here because you haven’t learned everything you were supposed to learn yet. Maybe you get to have extra time to make up for your sins.” He spoke just above a whisper. He knew this was a loaded conversation - that there were more questions hidden below the surface.
“Peter,” Five let his name dance in the space between them. And then she leaned forward and squeezed him in a tight hug. “I don’t think I deserved to come back.” She felt him return the hug. It felt so familiar.
“I can guarantee you are the only one who thinks that.” Peter kissed her on the top of her head. “I can’t answer any of your questions but I can tell you that everyone is glad to have you back. Some people more than others.”
“You?” Five teased.
“Sam.”
“Yeah, I know. I’m not sure he’d understand if I told him everything that I just told you.”
“What made you so sure I’d understand?” He asked and Five could have sworn a look of panic crossed his face.
“You’re a doctor.” Five pulled her head back and looked at him with the most serious face she could manage. “Who better to discuss death and sadness with than someone called Dr. Necropolis?”
“That’s fair.” He said. “Listen, you’re awfully close to me and I haven’t got any trousers on. Would you mind terribly just backing up slightly?” Five chuckled and took a few steps backward.
“I should probably go get some rest. I promised Sam I would.” She sighed. “Thank you doesn’t quite seem like enough.”
“It’s not. You’ll make it up to me later.”
“I promise I will.” Five chose her next words very carefully. “I think you’re my best friend.”
“That’s just sad, Five.” Peter was grinning, though. “Off you trot.”
Five closed the door behind her, feeling a weight lifted off her shoulders. Talking to Sam last night felt like an obligation. Talking to Peter just now felt like confession.
Several minutes later, Peter was still staring at the closed door in front of him wondering just how much Five knew.