Pope doesn’t understand the appeal of being in love.
He was, with Kiara, or at least thought he was for a time. He isn’t so sure anymore. He knows it’s unfair to blame himself for the way things ended with them, but he does sometimes, on a bad day. On good days, he tells himself Kiara wasn’t ready — that it had nothing to do with him. (He’s been having a lot of bad days lately.)
She’s with JJ now. They haven’t explicitly said, but they didn’t have to. Everyone can see the way his hand lingers a little bit too long on her arm, or the whispered conversations they shared down by the water. Almost like JJ used to do with him.
He keeps wondering if something was going on with them while he was with Kie. If every time JJ and Kiara talked without him there, it was more than just a friendly conversation. He knows he’s allowed to be pissed off about it, but it seems like he’d be the one in the wrong. He should be happy for them.
He doesn’t want to think his two best friends would do that to him, but it’s not like he’s being unreasonable. JJ hadn’t even respected him enough to tell him, for Christ’s sake.
There’s a feeling, a pain, he gets when he sees the two of them together now. He can’t put his finger on it.
“Hey.” Sarah sits down next to him and hands him a piece of fish. The thought of who caught it almost makes it inedible. He lets his eyes wander to the two of them sitting across the fire. JJ must have said something stupid, because Kiara elbowed him with a grin displayed on her face. It reminded him of-
“You don’t have to pretend with me,” Sarah says, eyes flicking between him, and JJ and Kiara. Pope knows that. Sarah gets it. She always does.
“He- he’s touching her, and he’s laughing with her and going on long walks on the beach with her, he even tucked a flower behind her ear the other day-“
“Pope,” Sarah interrupts. He lifts his head up, and she’s looking at him with an apologetic look on her face, like she’s so, so sorry he had to find this out.
He almost asks why she’s looking at him like that, but it registers before the words come out.
Oh.
He’s not angry, he’s jealous. (Well, maybe a little bit of both, but still.)
Pope can feel the air getting stuck in his lungs. The beach starts to circle around him. This is it, he thinks. He’s being punished. Punished for being in love with his best friend.
He can hear Sarah’s muffled voice next to him. He feels her grab his hand and squeeze until he manages to look up at her.
“I can’t,” He chokes out. “Sarah, I can’t.”
After Sarah does some breathing exercises with him, she pulls him into her chest. “I used to like Kie.” Pope snaps his head up. “I didn’t know it back then, but I know it now. I regret it — not trying hard enough, letting her go.” She takes a deep breath. “I don’t want that for you and JJ.”
“But he’s-“
“Not everything is always as it seems.” He’s sitting upright now. He thinks he can see JJ looking at them out of the corner of his eye. He doesn’t bother looking over.
“It’s not too late for you two,” He says, matter-of-factly.
“Maybe not.” She twirls around a bracelet on her wrist. Kie made it for her, he’s sure. “Now eat, your food’s getting cold.”
Sarah finishes eating with him, and then goes to throw some more logs in the fire.
“Hey.” He hears the voice of someone sitting down next to him. He knows who it is, of course. (He’d know his voice for the rest of his life.)
“Hey.”
He sees Kiara walk up to Sarah and tap her on the arm. Pope sees the red on her cheeks, and knows the fire is not the cause. He sends her a wink. She sends him one back.
He turns his head.